Every country has its signature humorist. The U.S. has Mark Twain. Ireland has Oscar Wilde. Canada has Stephen Leacock (1869-1944).
“The Lord said, ‘let there be wheat’ and Saskatchewan was born.”
“Men are able to trust one another, knowing the exact degree of dishonesty they are entitled to expect.”
“It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about 40 cents a flask, and take it as required.”
“I detest life insurance agents. They always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.”
“Advertising is the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.”
“Writing is no trouble. You just jot down ideas as they occur to you. The jotting is simplicity itself—it is the occurring which is difficult.”
“A sportsman is a man who every now and then simply has to get out and kill something.”
“Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.”
“Astronomy teaches the correct use of the sun and the planets.”
“I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”
“Electricity is of two kinds: positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it.”
“In ancient times they had no statistics, so they had to fall back on lies.”
“Newspapermen learn to call a murderer ‘an alleged murderer’ and the king of England ‘the alleged king of England’ to avoid libel suits.”
“There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike: information and wit.”
The Royal Canadian Mint began phasing out the penny in 2013 Shopkeepers are advised to round prices to the nearest nickel.