Crystal lakes, snow-capped mountains, hockey, Mounties, bilingual traffic signs…and some really, really weird news stories.
SHARING DINNER WITH MUM
It was only days since their mother had passed away in 2009, and the seven Blair sisters were gathered to celebrate Thanksgiving in her honor. Each of them wore a locket with a small bit of their mother’s ashes sealed within. But now as they dined in their Hamilton, Ontario home, they began to see bits of gray in the mashed potatoes, in the gravy, and on the turkey. Then, to her horror, Lisa Blair saw gray dribbling down the front of her white sweater. The lockets, supposedly sealed by the funeral home, were leaking. “Not only was it in my food,” said Lisa, “it was all down my sweater.”
BEACHED CAMPAIGN
In 2009, Premier Ed Stelmach’s $25 million campaign to promote Alberta and “get the correct information out” fell on its face after some false advertising. An ad showing two cute kids romping on a seaside beach promoted the new provincial motto, “Freedom to Create, Spirit to Achieve.” One local, Peter Baily, liked that shoreline so much he contacted provincial officials for the exact location. Turns out the featured beach was in Northumberland, UK. Even the children in the ad weren’t Canadian. The official response from Alberta spokesperson Tom Olsen was that the British beach showed that “Albertans are a worldly people.” Today, Alberta’s motto is “Fortis et Liber,” aka “Strong and Free.” And it’s written on the Alberta Coat of Arms, which features a stag, a beaver, a mountain lion, flowers and mountains—all native to Alberta.
ULTIMATE BELIEVERS
Though University of Saskatchewan graduate Hulda Clark was a “doctor” because she had a PhD, she claimed to have found the cause of cancer and offered an alternative, naturopathic remedy. In her 1993 book, The Cure for All Cancers, Clark writes: “All cancers are alike. They are all caused by a parasite. A single parasite! It is the human intestinal fluke.” Clark claimed to cure cancer with a combination of herbs (black walnut hulls, wormwood and cloves plus amino acids ornithine and arginine) and treatment with her two special devices: the Syncrometer (a galvanometer) and her Zapper (a low voltage device).
IF THE CLICHÉ FITS…
In January 2013, two police officers in Calgary, Alberta, were investigated after a video was posted on YouTube of the officers in their police cars racing down a Calgary street…to a doughnut shop. An investigation was launched and the two officers came forward, admitting that they were the ones who had staged a short car race to the doughnut shop. They were not named, and, as they had not appeared to exceed the speed limit, they were not disciplined. “They didn’t break any laws,” police spokesman Kevin Brookwell said, but admitted that “the optics looked bad.”
CREDIT CARDS WITHOUT LIMITS
If you’ve ever had trouble getting credit, don’t read this. Kelly Sloan of Sarnia, Ontario, received a letter in the mail from Capital One not long ago offering up to $30,000 in credit and a credit card. The letter wasn’t to her, though. It was addressed to her dog. The announcement, addressed to “Spark Sloan,” explained, “We’re not offering our low long-term rate to just anyone.” Spark had been dead for 10 years.
FOUR FACTOR
We all know that the number 13 is considered an unlucky number, but what is there to fear about the number 4? The Toronto suburb of Richmond Hill dislikes the number so much it has officially declared that the number 4 should not be used in new addresses. The fear of four—or tetraphobia—rises from the Asian community in the area. In Mandarin and Cantonese, the word for “death” happens to sound like the word “four.” Town councilman Castro Liu has said that those shopping for a new home don’t want to buy a place with that number in it. Town councillors have expressed concerns that the change could be confusing and possibly cause trouble for emergency responders, as many have rewritten their addresses to remove the 4s. One realtor in the area has said that getting rid of the 4 in an address can raise the home value by $25,000 to $35,000.
The country’s largest producer of french fries is McCain Foods in Florenceville, New Brunswick.
It may be colder in Vancouver, but that doesn’t stop some locals from stripping down. In addition to the nude sunbathing at Wreck Beach, the city plays host to a World Naked Bike Ride. On June 15, 2013, hundreds of naked cyclists pedaled their way through the city in protest of oil dependency and car culture. The ride began at Sunset Beach with two hours of body painting and performances before the bare-bottomed bicyclists took off into the streets of Vancouver.
FILE UNDER IRONIC
In 2012, Canadian officials said Avmor Ltd. is voluntarily recalling one lot of its antimicrobial foaming hand soap because it is contaminated with microbes. Health inspectors detected the bacteria Pseudomonas aeruginosa, which can pose serious health risks, especially for those with weakened immune systems. The soap is commonly used in hospitals, offices, and schools.
THE THIEF WHO SWALLOWED 20 GRAND
A thief with an appetite for expensive jewelry walked into Precision Jewellers in Windsor, Ontario, and swallowed a 1.7-carat diamond ring worth $20,000. A store clerk nabbed him, and the police put him in a cell where they could wait for the evidence to emerge.
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CANADIAN IN NAME ONLY
The band Cross Canadian Ragweed formed in Yukon…Oklahoma, which happens to be in Canadian County. Furthermore, its singer and guitarist is named Cody Canada. But despite all these Canada connections, the band’s name is actually a fractured amalgam of the three founding members’ names: Grady Cross, Cody Canada, and Randy Ragsdale, with a little “weed” thrown in for good luck.
Chowder comes from the French Canadian settler’s word chaudiere, a catch-all cooking pot.