Here’s a look at a few of the funny Canadian songs that have inspired equal parts laughter and toe-tapping over the years.
Song: “Don’t Play Bingo Tonight, Mother”
Artist: The Happy Gang (1945)
Story: There are plenty of warning songs out there, that warn listeners about the perils of everything from drinking to gambling to bad hygiene. This 1945 single advises all the moms out there to avoid Bingo Night—while it seems like good clean fun at the local church or community center, it’s actually a sinful lure. The song is actually satirical. It reflects and mocks a mid-’40s craze of temperance advocates were actually convinced that the game was brainwashing Canadian women into becoming negligent mothers. It didn’t quite work…but the song was a hit.
Song: “Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen by the Sea”
Artist: The Four Lads (1954)
Story: Lots of artists performed this silly song, but the best known version was by the Canadian all-male singing quarter the Four Lads (“Istanbul,” “Moments to Remember”). This impossible-to-remember-the-name-of song is about a lovestruck girl who lives in a small coastal town, and probably always will because of her unpronounceable name. During the recording session in February 1954, however, the Four Lads thought the song needed a more youthful, and feminine vibe. So they invited the two teenage members of their fan club visiting the studio at the time to jump in on the mic. Good move—the song peaked at #18 on pop chart later that year.
Song: “Honky the Christmas Goose”
Artist: Johnny Bower (1965)
Story: This song tells the tale of an overweight goose with powerful honking skills that helps Santa Claus escape from an interstellar traffic jam on Christmas Eve—he saves Christmas! It was recorded by Johnny Bower, the famous NHL goaltender, along with his son John and a group of young vocalists called “The Rinky Dinks.” The song hit #29 on the charts, which led Bower to pursue music more. He recorded a few more singles, but none were as successful as this holiday oddity.
Canada, the world’s second-world’s largest country, has 9% of the world’s renewable water supply.
Artist: Stompin’ Tom Connors (1973)
Story: Folksinger Connors recorded this ode to the “best game you can name” in the ‘70s, but it didn’t become a hit until years later. In 1992, it was selected to be used as a fight song at home games for the Ottawa Senators. It took off like a wildfire from there and has since become a staple at hockey games all over Canada and even in the U.S. The song has been used to promote video games and also served as a protest anthem during the 2012–2013 NHL lockout. Connors passed away on March 6, 2013, and on that day Newfoundland folk act Great Big Sea performed “The Hockey Song” in tribute at a concert in San Francisco.
Song: “The Safety Dance”
Artist: Men Without Hats (1983)
Story: Ivan Doroschuk, the lead singer of new wave group Men Without Hats wrote this song after he got thrown out of a rock club for “pogoing”—a minor dance craze at the time that involved participants standing in one place and bouncing up and down like they were on pogo sticks. (Bouncers had no tolerance for it, apparently.) While spectulation has ran wild for 30 years that the song’s lyrics are actually about avoiding nuclear warfare (a big subject of ‘80s pop songs) or the importance of safe sex (also a big subject of ‘80s pop songs), Doroshuk has steadfastly admitted that they’re reading too much into them, and that it’s about pogoing, or “the safety dance.” Further adding to confusion, the music video for The Safety Dance features the singer cavorting his way through a medieval village along with a pint-sized jester and various townsfolk dressed as farm animals. The song peaked at # 11 on the Canadian Top 50, and was a smash hit all over the world, on its way to becoming one of the most definitive songs of the ‘80s. (Uncle John would like to point out your friends don’t dance, and if they don’t dance, well, they’re no friends of his.)
Canadians are the third longest-lasting in bed, at 23 minutes.