For years, Canada and Denmark have waged a low-key power struggle over a tiny rock island that from the air looks like a flattened cow patty.
LOOK MA, NO HANS!
It’s unfit for human habitation and is pretty bare of vegetation and land-dwelling animals. It doesn’t have a Tim Hortons, Internet access, or a cell phone tower. It’s sandwiched in the thin, ice-filled passage between Nunavut’s Ellesmere Island and the semiautonomous Danish territory of Greenland, and there has been little reason to take note of Hans Island except as a potential navigational hazard. In fact, for most of its history almost nobody has. What is it about this icy rock?
It’s possible that indigenous people encountered the island while hunting walrus on the ice. We know it got its present-day name between 1871 and 1873 during American explorer Charles Francis Hall’s ill-fated third North Pole expedition. Someone decided to name the lump of rock after an Inuit guide the explorers called Hans Hendrik…even though his name was really Suersaq.
Yet, during the 2000s, Hans Island became the center of a bizarre sovereignty dispute between Canada and Denmark. As global warming melts long-frozen ice, opening sea routes that have been impassable for centuries, the ownership of this barely existent island of 1.3 square kilometers (0.5 square mile), could provide benefits in terms of navigation, fishing rights, and natural resources like oil.
Denmark claims that maps point to Hans Island being part of Greenland since 1933. Canada, on the other hand, showed Hans Island as Canadian territory on a map for the first time only in 1967. There have never been any known permanent inhabitants.
KEEP YOUR ILLEGAL DRILLING TO YOURSELF
Canadian oil company Dome Petroleum has been scouting oil on and around Hans Island since the 1980s…without the knowledge of Denmark or the acknowledgment of the Canadian government. In fact, it was a chance encounter that uncovered this, gave it international attention, and sparked the struggle over Hans Island. In 1984, Nunavut historian Kenn Harper wrote an article about Hans Island for a tiny newspaper in the palindrome-named town of Qaanaaq, Greenland (population 620). In the article, Harper mentioned meeting a man on the ice near Resolute, Nunavut, who was wearing a hat boldly reading “HANS ISLAND.” After striking up a conversation, Harper learned that the man had spent the summer on the island doing research for Dome Petroleum. Harper mentioned this in his story.
Canadian actor who logged the most time on American television: Raymond Burr.
The article, published in a tiny, isolated town, made its way to the Danish newspapers, which played it up as an affront to Danish sovereignty. They were half-kidding…but they were also half-serious.
OF COURSE, YOU REALIZE...
The Danish government, though, wasn’t messing around. The country’s minister for Greenland, Tom Høyem, chartered a helicopter and flew to Hans Island in order to plant a Danish flag, a bottle of cognac, and a message saying, “Velkommen til den danske ø” (“Welcome to the Danish island”). That was the beginning of a series of visits by Canadian and Danish officials and fishing crews, both bearing flags and drinking whatever alcohol had been left by the previous group.
Meanwhile, in cyberspace, satirical Web sites waged a battle for the island. One promoted the Hans Island Liberation Front, which claimed that the island’s nonexistent inhabitants wanted to cast off the yoke of both Canadian and Danish imperialism. Another “represented” Radio Free Hans Island, a fictional radio station supposedly broadcasting from the frozen wastes. A Swedish radio station even entered the fray, satirically claiming Swedish ownership of the island.
...THIS MEANS WAR!
The governments of Canada and Denmark, though, didn’t think the issue was a joke, and tensions boiled again in 2005. In an escaltion of the conflict, the Canadian defense minister landed on Hans Island in a helicopter to reassert Canadian claims. That led to outrage in Greenland, where people called the action a foreign invasion and occupation. This was followed by the visit of a Danish warship to the island. In fact, over the years, both nations have made the effort and taken the expense of sending warships to the area—fortunately, at different times—with no shots fired.
The first Canadian of European ancestry was named Snorri Snorri was born to Thorfin and Gudrid at l’Anse aux Meadows in about 1000.
The dispute has quieted down recently. Perhaps both parties are in the process of coming to a mature resolution and a recognition of the fact that the island is probably more trouble than it’s worth. As Canada’s chief of defense staff, General Walter Natynczyk, noted, “The Arctic is a very harsh environment. If someone were to invade the Canadian Arctic, my first task would be to rescue them.”
SPLITTING THE BABY IN HALF
In July 2007, based on satellite imagery, Canadian authorities finally admitted that Hans Island is not completely inside Canadian territory, but that the international border runs roughly through the middle of the island. Although that offers a solution to the Hans Island problem, it also ruins Canada’s status as being the largest country with a land border on only one other country. Instead, Canada now can boast of having a 5,061-kilometer-long (3,145-mile) land border with the United States and a 1.3-kilometer-long (0.8-mile) border with Denmark.
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“AMAZING” ANAGRAMS
PAMELA ANDERSON becomes…
ROMAN ESPLANADE
CELINE DION becomes…
CONNIE LIED
WILLIAM SHATNER becomes…
LAMINATES WHIRL
LESLIE NIELSEN becomes…
SELL SIN, EILEEN
KIEFER SUTHERLAND becomes…
INTERFERED AS HULK
ALANIS MORISSETTE becomes…
SNOT MATERIALISES