“Can you make Daddy some eggs with your new frying pan? After you feed him, then we can go to the beach.”

Those were the magic words. “OK, Momma. I go cook now.” She hopped off the bed and ran to her room, excited to cook for her father.

The second she was out, Xander rolled on top of me. “What the hell, Xander Blane? Did you not learn your lesson?”

“Nope.” My husband gave new meaning to wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. He was done, dressed, and playing with our daughter while I lounged naked in bed, attempting to bring myself back to reality.

Life was good.

 

*******

“Any chance we can head to London next week for about five days, or longer if you’d like to see more of Europe.”

“Where did that come from?” My wife asked, mid-bite.

We’d had the quickest sex known to humankind, threw a meal together, and were already halfway through dinner. Our daughter ate quickly and occupied herself with the new pots and pans that Lex had given her while we were on our honeymoon.

“Johnny, Marcus, and I have business out there and I’d like for our family to go. I don’t want to go alone.”

“What about my work?”

“We can leave after work and come back the following week so you won’t have to miss a day.”

“What about your cranky daughter? After Hawaii, I realize she’s not meant to be a world traveler, yet. Time-change is not her friend.”

“As usual, I’ll deal with the cranky women in our family.” I answered with a grin.

Being the good-natured woman that she was, Jenna laughed at my statement.

 

“Marriage has changed you.” Marcus’ offhanded comment was never truer. “It’s softened you in a good way.”

“I like being married. I love having a wife and child at home. It grounds me. I never expected stability to feel this good.”

Marcus laughed. “The great Xander Blane is off the market.”

“I think I was off the market the moment I met Jenna. I was a damn fool for waiting this long to get her back.”

“All is well? You and Jenna have worked through your differences? Last we saw, you didn’t exactly have a giggling bride on your hands.”

I agreed. “Damn woman never would follow without a fight. However, I think we are doing well now. The past few days have been heaps of happiness, even with Jenna starting work again and my daughter attending preschool one day a week.” By the time our lunch was done, Marcus was caught up on the Blane household soap opera.

“So the family will join us in London?”

“Yep. Got permission from the wife,” I answered with a grin. “Beth agree, too?”

“She did. How long will you stay?”

“Just shy of a week. Jenna’s starting work in a few days and she doesn’t want to ask for time off already.”

“Got it. See you at the airport, Friend.”

“See you, Marcus.”

 

*******

“How was your first day at work, Sweet Jenna?”

“Good. Tiring, but good. Alex did well, too.”

Xander and I didn’t have much time to talk as he picked us up from the hospital and drove us straight to our flight.

“You enjoyed your day, Alexandria?”

“No!”

“How is it that she’s a contrarian with a smile?”

“I don’t know, Xander. She’s an enigma at times. She keeps telling me that she doesn’t like the school, but when I secretly visited her during my break and lunchtime, she was having a ball. Her teacher told me she was all smiles when she was there.”

“Does age two-going-on-twenty-two equate to being ornery?”

“Ask your mother. Maybe she takes after you and Lexie,” I answered with a giggle.

We soon met up with Marcus and Beth and it was chaos on the plane with three little ones. The people sitting around us were not pleased to be with three boisterous children. Fortunately, the kids fell asleep after dinner and by the time they awoke, we were in London, headed to Johnny and Maggie’s flat.

“Are we all staying here?” I asked my husband.

“Yes. They insisted we stay with them. They have a great home in the middle of the city. You’ll love their backyard. It’ll remind you of Marcus and Beth’s Oregon retreat, amidst the busy city.”

Xander wasn’t wrong. The house and its backyard were large, stunning, and inviting.

“Hello!” Maggie and Johnny welcomed us all. “I have all your rooms ready and I’ve prepared a special room for the kids just in case they might want to have a sleepover with one another.”

Maggie had outdone herself with the décor in the large, kids’ room. She had created a campout scene with tents, sleeping bags, flashlights, lamps, and lots and lots of cooking utensils for the pretend-fire. The kids gravitated toward that room immediately.

“What a wonderful place you have, Maggie. Why would you want to live in LA when you have all this?” I asked while sitting in the backyard, having tea. “Thank you for inviting us here and for making all the arrangements. It wasn’t necessary to hire three nannies for the kids while we’re here, but it’s much appreciated.”

“I want all the details of the wedding. I’m sorry we couldn’t be there. We’d just arrived in London when we received the news. Had Xander given us even a week’s notice, we would’ve done everything in our power to watch scores of women crying, knowing Xander Blane was getting hitched.” Maggie teased.

Xander said, “If I’d known a week earlier, I would’ve invited all those crying women. It was touch and go until the very last minute. This woman of mine didn’t show up at the altar; I had to go beg her to live the rest of her life with me.”

Everyone laughed.

“So you’re settled now?”

“I think so, Maggie. I’m working one day a week, Alex is at the hospital preschool on my workday, I’ve moved into the main house, and...” I felt embarrassed about expressing my feelings in front of the other two men.

“I think it’s time to part.” Maggie caught on immediately. “Johnny, didn’t you say you needed to work as soon as Xander and Marcus arrived?”

“This woman is always pushing me to make more money. All right, Woman. I hear you.” All three chuckling men stood up to go work.

“I love you, my sweet Jenna,” my husband whispered before giving me a full-blown kiss.

“That was hot!” Beth announced even before Xander left me red in the face. “I see the honeymoon stage is alive and well.”

Now that the men were gone, I felt the need to share. Maybe need wasn’t the right word. Never having had close friends, I wanted to become friends with these ladies who had always welcomed me into their fold.

“Xander and I are enjoying marriage and all its benefits. It almost seems unreal to me at times and all this happiness is scary.”

“Why?”

“Because, Beth, I don’t know when it’s going to end. I can’t get over my insecurities. It’s not as bad as it used to be, but I still wonder if what’s happening is real.”

“Do you doubt Xander’s love?” Beth asked.

“It’s really more me than Xander. It’s hard to gloss over three years of pain.”

Maggie said, “When I first met Xander, he was always kind to me since I was Johnny’s wife, but you could feel a coldness in him. He was the type of man you might have a one-night stand with, but never the type of man you could imagine marrying. Something about him didn’t make you think he’d kiss you in front of a group of people and tell you he loved you.”

“You’re dead-on, Maggie.” Beth agreed wholeheartedly. “I even asked Marcus one time whether Xander Blane had a heart. He was always respectful to the women he dated, but I knew when the date was done, he was done.” I understood that feeling, myself. I’d never felt so alone as the night of our first “date.” “However, Xander became human after he met you.”

“Early in your dating, Xander had come to London and was pissed about something that had happened between you two. I don’t remember the details of what made him mad, but I remember Johnny coming home telling me that the mighty Xander Blane had fallen. After their lunch, Johnny had concluded that Xander was in love.”

Beth added, “I remember moments before meeting you at that charity dinner. We were seated next to one another, chatting away when suddenly, he bolts out of his chair to chase after you. I had no idea how he knew you were running away when he had his back to you, but he did and he was a man on a mission. Marcus told me how you had tied Xander into the most complicated knot and we had a good laugh before you came back with him.”

“And I thought those were difficult days,” I commented. “Thinking back now, those were joyful memories. I wished I could’ve reveled in them rather than wondering when we were going to be done.”

“You see how the glass-half-empty theory doesn’t work? Even back then, you only waited for the car to crash and burn rather than enjoying the ride.”

“I guess no amount of speculating could’ve prepared me for the broken heart. I was a mess after we parted. Overwhelmed with sadness, there were too many days I couldn’t function. It was a good thing that I had nursing school and that I was pregnant with Alex. Otherwise, I would’ve sat in a dark corner for more days than I’d like to imagine.”

“You weren’t the only one hurting, Jenna. After you two went your separate ways, Xander was in London for about a month and he was a mess. Johnny forced him to stay with us, and I saw, firsthand, how broken he was.” As much as it pained me to know that Xander hurt, this conversation helped alleviate my own hang-ups. “He was always polite and a perfect houseguest, but he was hurting inside really badly. Johnny and I tried many times to get Xander to reconnect with you, but we were unsuccessful.”

I explained to the ladies about our misunderstandings concerning the embrace Xander witnessed between Larry and me, and the woman’s voice I’d heard in Xander’s room. That went far in answering many of the questions in these ladies’ minds.

“What had happened after you and Xander met at the Downtown Club? Marcus came home excited to tell me that the two of you were finally meeting again. He said that though Xander sounded angry, he could see the relief in his eyes. Deep down, Xander was desperate, as well as thrilled, to see you.” This time, I told them the ugly truth of our fateful meeting that night. I also did my best to explain how Xander hadn’t meant what he’d said. Those few words still haunted him to this day.

“Oh my gosh, Jenna. Now I understand why Xander went completely dark on us for months. He refused to see anybody unless it was business-related. We’d never seen him that withdrawn. Marcus told me he was depressed, but wouldn’t divulge why.”

“Johnny told me the same thing. Neither man could get him out of his funk. They were scared for him.”

“I guess he and I both went through some dark days. It’s over now and I pray to God neither one of us will ever experience hurt like that ever again.”

 

*******

“You know you had Marcus and me very worried when Jenna left you.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I know I wasn’t easy to live with during those years.”

“What exactly convinced you to seek them out finally?” Marcus asked.

“The idiot that I was, I believed that doctor was still in Jenna’s life. Lex finally cleared up that misconception and implored me to go see my daughter.”

“What we never understood was why you waited so many years to see her. Jenna couldn’t have had it easy raising a child on her own. It’s not like you to watch your woman suffer.”

“You want me to bare my soul, huh, Marcus? Here goes.” I told my friends everything.

“Shit. Did you seriously say those words to the woman you loved?”

“Guilty.”

“You were a world-class dick, Xander Blane.”

“Don’t I know it, Johnny. Despite all that, Sweet Jenna has agreed to spend her life with me.”

“Is she happy? Are you doing your damnedest to make her happy?”

“Marcus, did you not see me chase after my bride in Maui? Whatever she wants, I want. I can’t live without my girls any longer.”

“We’re both happy for you, Man, and Maggie and I are glad to have your family with us this week. Since we have three nannies on payroll, how about we all go out for a nice dinner rather than sitting here separated from our women?”

 

Johnny and Maggie took the six of us to a fine restaurant, once Jenna and I settled Alex in with her nanny. Truth be told, it was really us, who needed to feel settled. Alex took to her nanny immediately. We were feeling uneasy about leaving our daughter with a stranger.

True to my instinct, I should’ve stayed back with my daughter. What happened at dinner set my marriage back to way before we were ever close to saying, “I do.”

“Alexander.” Initially, I didn’t react to my full name being called. It had been years since anyone had used my birth name. “Alexander.” The melodious voice rang closer as we headed toward our table. When I didn’t answer, again, the caller stood up and placed her body between mine and my wife’s. “How come you didn’t tell me you were crossing the pond?” Before I could react, two arms went around my neck and she kissed my lips. “I’ve missed you.” It was just a reaction, a stupid chain reaction, that had me returning the embrace and kiss, minus the enthusiasm.

“Clarisse.” I answered in surprise and quickly took my hands off her waist. “Hello.” I had no fucking clue what to do in these types of situations. Already, I felt my wife slipping away from me as she excused herself to the ladies’ room. “Wait. Jenna.” My poor attempt at bringing her back was met with Jenna’s insistence on pretending she hadn’t heard me.

I should’ve chased after my wife but it was too much of a scene in this small restaurant, so my first plan of attack was to diffuse Clarisse. Fortunately, I had good friends who understood my plight.

“Excuse me as well. I think I need to use the ladies’ room too.” Maggie saved me—at least I hoped she could save me.

“When did you arrive?” Clarisse asked again.

“Today. I came with my family and friends, today.” I hoped I’d stressed the word, family, enough for her to get a clue.

“Can we meet for dinner one night?”

“No. I don’t think that will be possible, Clarisse. It was nice seeing you.”

I tried to walk away, but Clarisse had other ideas. “Are you staying at a hotel? At Johnny’s again? Are you here for a while?”

Damn woman chose not to get a clue. “My wife, daughter, and I are here for five days and yes, we are staying at Johnny’s.”

The “Oh,” was unmistakable. She finally understood, after the damage was done. “Have a nice dinner with your wife. Nice seeing you again, Johnny.” Though that was the end of our conversation, I knew it wasn’t the end of Clarisse.

“Damn, Xander. You are in deep shit, Man.”

“Fuck! What the hell, Johnny? Why her and why here?”

“What I want to know is why you kissed that woman, Xander? How would you react to your wife placing her arms around another man and kissing him?”

“You saw that, Beth? I was hoping it was quick enough for no one else to catch on.”

“I think the entire restaurant was privy to your private moment—including your wife.”

“It was like a Pavlovian reaction. Fucking hell. How do I undo this?”

Johnny said, “Just give your wife the facts and maybe grovel while speaking.”

“I’d add a piece of jewelry while doing it,” Marcus kidded.

“Not to mention an expensive handbag. I can help pick one out, Xander.”

“Not funny, Beth. I’m in the dog house now.”

“As you should be, Xander.” Though I’d told Beth this was no laughing matter, that’s all the three of them did—laugh.

 

*******

“Jenna, you know Xander loves you and your daughter. Clarisse doesn’t mean anything to him. She’s just a friend from the past. Johnny and I know her and she’s truly no threat to you. Xander is crazy about you.”

As much as I appreciated Maggie’s efforts, I wished she’d leave me alone. I came in here, a usual retreat since my Downtown Club days, to find my peace. Time was running out and I needed to head back and show a smiling face.

Regardless of the fact that I had a ring on my finger, that we were married, and that Xander loved me in every possible way, my insecurities wouldn’t die. They haunted me in all different ways. Today, they came in the form of a gorgeous woman who’d obviously had a physical relationship with my husband. Their body language was too natural to think otherwise.

“I’m fine, Maggie. I really did need to use the ladies’ room.” Those were the perfect words to shoo away unwanted words of consolation. Would life with Xander Blane get any easier? I could only hope.

A few more minutes to compose myself and I headed back to our table. Any longer and Xander would come after me.

“Jenna.” Xander stood up and walked to me immediately. “I’m sorry. She means nothing to me. I was just taken off guard. Please...”

I didn’t like the scene we were causing and I sure as hell didn’t like giving that Clarisse woman any reason to think she was important enough to put a strain on our marriage. “Let’s sit, Xander.”

He understood immediately. “I love you,” he whispered and kissed my ear, rather than the intended target, as I turned my head away childishly to punish him. I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t help myself.

“This was the wrong place to choose for dinner, Johnny. What the hell were you thinking, bringing us to the best restaurant in London?” Beth broke up the tense moment, and at least four out of six of us laughed.

Dinnertime was actually not bad. Once I decided to forget the woman sitting within sight of my seat, we all had a pretty good time. As soon as I relaxed, my husband relaxed and talked with his friends. Much of the men’s conversation focused on business. Without a doubt, much of the ladies’ conversation revolved around our children.

“Maybe it’s time to head out?” I mentioned, missing my daughter.

“That’s a good idea. I’m wiped. It’s been a long day. I hope Alex is sleeping by now.” Xander stood up and helped me out of my chair. “Shall we?”

It stunk to have to walk by that woman again, but what choice did I have? I almost sprinted out of the dining room, but Xander got waylaid, again, by that bitch. She stood up to give him a good-bye hug and kiss, which Xander was able to extricate himself from, and handed him something. Wondering how the scene played out while I’d turned my back was worse than actually seeing the woman lunge at the man who had pledged himself to me.

“Jenna!” Xander caught up to me, out of breath. “I swear, she meant nothing. We had a thing a long time ago. That was it. Nothing more.”

“Let’s just get back to our daughter,” I said and plopped myself in the car.

 

*******

Nothing was more important right now than an open conversation with my wife, but it wasn’t going to happen for a while. As we entered Johnny’s house, our daughter had a meltdown.

“What’s wrong, Baby?” I asked.

Alyssa, the nanny, answered, “She was fine until you walked in. We were all having a fun time. I promise, she wasn’t crying all this time.”

“We don’t blame you for anything, Alyssa. Our daughter is tired.” Jenna opened her arms and picked up our daughter. “Is it time for nigh nigh?”

“YES!” Alex hollered and cried.

“How about if I get you ready for bed and I put you on my back like we used to when we lived in Ohio?”

I had no idea what that meant; I followed the girls around like a lost puppy.

At times like these, our baby girl wanted nothing from me. She wouldn’t let me help brush her teeth, put on her pajamas, or even hug her good night. She didn’t want anything that had to do with me—like daughter, like mother. Damn. This was going to be a long night.

When she was ready for bed, Alex climbed on Jenna’s back like a monkey and rested her cheek. Jenna walked her around the house singing all our daughter’s favorite songs. I adored watching mother and child. Jenna’s look of love and Alex’s look of trust, I couldn’t help but take several pictures of them from my phone.

“I think she’s out,” I whispered, hoping I’d get some time with my wife to explain the shit I was in.

“When she’s this tired, I need to hold onto her for a while. She’ll wake up the moment I put her down. You go ahead and get ready for bed. I’ll be in when I can.”

At least she was talking to me. I’d take it.

I got ready for bed, brought my laptop with me, and followed up on some emails. Jenna was taking longer than I expected, but since this was all new to me, all I could do was wait.

 

*******

I knew I should get back to Xander, but I couldn’t face him. It hurt too damn much to know there’d been other women in his life after me. In all honesty, I had no idea if this Clarisse was before me or after me. Seeing how clingy she was, it made me believe they’d been together not that long ago.

Since almost the very beginning, I loved Xander. Never in my life had I thought so much and so hard about any man. He had consumed every part of me, even when he apparently had forgotten me. I felt too much where this man was concerned. I wished I could love only in part. Then at least I’d only have half a tortured heart.

“Jenna.” I heard a whisper but didn’t want to open my eyes to the reality. “Let me take you to bed with me. This twin bed is not meant for an adult and a child.” Xander gently picked me up in his arms and I lost it. I couldn’t help the tears that overflowed. “Shhh, Sweet Jenna. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. This situation is not worth your tears. Let me explain.”

He placed me on our bed, and I quickly turned away from him, in a fetal position. I was damn embarrassed to be crying, always the one crying about us. Why couldn’t I harden my heart so everything wouldn’t affect me this much? I hated being weak, but I couldn’t love Xander any less no matter how hard I tried.

“Will you give me a chance to explain?” He had gotten into bed, turned me to him and rolled my body into his. “Clarisse and I had dinner a couple of times when I was staying here in London while you and I were separated. Dinner twice led to sex twice and that was it. She called a few times after I left London, but I let it be known that I wasn’t interested in anything long term. When we ran into her, I embraced her out of habit. On my part, there were no sexual overtures. It would be no different than greeting any other woman.”

“You don’t kiss most other women on the lips,” I added.

“True. That was definitely a mistake. I just didn’t catch her intention in time.” He continued to rub my back. “Clarisse also gave me a key to her hotel room which I immediately handed back to her,” he confessed. “That’s it. That’s all there is to Clarisse. Can we get back to us now? As much as I hate seeing you hurt and pissed, I’m digging the jealousy.”

I should’ve punched him, but instead, I sort of laughed. “Shut up, Xander. You’re still in the dog house.”

“That giggle didn’t sound like the dog house. It sounded like an invitation to have make-up sex with my wife.”

“Oh no it did not.” No matter how hard I tried to convince him otherwise, I ended up flat on my back with Xander getting his way with me. “I’m such a loser when it comes to you. I practically invite you to have your way with me.”

“I would hope so. And just in case you didn’t know, you can always have your way with me.”

That was the beginning and the end of our “fight.”

The rest of our time in London was fun. Readjusting our daughter back to our time zone was not. When we returned home, I had Alex stay home from preschool because I knew she wouldn’t be able to last the entire day without having a meltdown. Since Xander proclaimed he’d handle all the cranky women in the Blane household, Alex-duty was all his.

“Jenna.” I was surprised to see Larry falling in step with me.

“Hello, Dr. Tanner. How was your vacation?”

“Can you really call going to Columbus, Ohio a vacation?” he asked with heavy sarcasm.

“Did you get to see your family?”

“Yes.”

“Did you sleep in, rest, have Mommy make all your favorite food?”

Grudgingly, he answered, “Yes,” which had us both laughing. “However, Mom is not the best cook. It was Dad who stepped into the kitchen to spoil his son.”

“Well then. I’d say that was a vacation, albeit a weirdly timed one since you had a new nurse to train.”

“As if I could train you,” he answered with a snort. “How was your first day at work? I heard you, too, went on a vacay already.”

“First day of work was fantastic. Alex had a wonderful time at preschool and as soon as we were done, the three of us flew to London. I’m surviving on pure adrenaline because we got in late last night, and I started work at five in the morning today.”

“Why’d you come in so early? Your usual clock-in time is eight o’clock.”

“They asked me to fill in for the end of someone else’s shift and to only work half my shift, so I agreed.”

“Can you take a break right now and have a cup of coffee with me?”

“If the boss says so, I guess I must,” I teased.

I was glad to have run into Larry. I needed to let him know how important he was to me as a friend.

“So, why London?” Larry asked randomly once we sat with our snacks.

“Xander had business and he didn’t want to go alone.”

“I guess we need to talk about the elephant in the room, huh? Listen, I’m sorry—”

I stopped his apology. “Before you apologize, I need to tell you how grateful I am for our friendship. You, your sisters, your parents, your aunt’s family—they’ve all been like an extended family to me and my daughter. When I needed a friend the most, you were there. For that, I can’t thank you enough.”

“Was there ever a chance of you and me?” Larry asked sadly.

“Probably, had I not met Xander first. The problem was, Xander was always with me even when I didn’t want him to be. He consumed me when we were dating. He tortured me when we were parted. Then, I got pregnant and had a Xander-doppelganger in female form. There was no getting away from him.”

“So I should feel a little better knowing I would’ve had a shot had I met you earlier?”

“No, Larry. You should feel the best about yourself because you are the world’s best catch. Go out there and date. You’ve always known that Alex and I belonged to Xander. I think you’re stubbornly holding yourself from being truly happy. Marriage, children, domesticity—I think you’ll love it.”

“Do you love it? Do you love him?”

“I do love Xander and yes, I love being married to him. Since the beginning, regardless of what I believed or stated, I’ve always loved Xander. It’s hard to forget a man who was your first everything.”

As much as I didn’t want to see the sadness in Larry’s eyes, I knew this emotional separation had to happen. He and I were never meant to be anything other than friends.

“So where do we go from here?”

“Can we stay friends? If it isn’t too much, I’d like for you and Xander to become friends. I want my husband to understand how much Alex and I appreciate you and your family.”

“I think friendship with your husband is a little too soon, probably for the both of us, but I am sorry for what I said to you last week. You have also been a good friend to me, and I don’t want to lose that either.”

Friendship between two important men in my life wasn’t happening any time soon, but I was glad to have restored my status with Larry.

 

*******

“Are you playing nanny today?” Marcus laughed heartily as he watched me walk into our lunch meeting carrying Alex and all the crap that came with her. “I assume the wife is at work?”

“Shit, Marcus. I told you I couldn’t meet today. Why the hell are we here? Why couldn’t you come over to the house?” I was agitated. Who knew and understood all the paraphernalia that came with traveling with a two-year-old? We were only thirty minutes away from the house, and I had a large traveling backpack.

“No diaper bag?” My business partner, whom I was about to beat the shit out of, razzed me.

“No, Alex is potty-trained, thank you.”

“Potty?” My daughter suddenly asked. “Daddy, I need to go potty.”

“Asshole,” I whispered under my breath and took my daughter to the bathroom.

Who knew a men’s bathroom could be so damn disgusting? I couldn’t, in good conscience, put my daughter on a toilet seat, even with a cover. It took me a few seconds to come up with a way to hold her close enough to the toilet seat without her touching it but also without her peeing on my thousand-dollar Zegna slacks. I was feeling pretty good about myself when the deed was done. No pee stains on my pants, and my daughter was clean. Or so I thought.

When she was done, she reminded me that she needed to be “wiped.” How the hell was I to wipe her without putting her down on the floor and have piss dripping all over the place? Again, I had to perform some clever Cirque du Soleil-style maneuvering to accomplish the deed.

“All done, Daddy!” She hopped down while I adjusted her dress and made sure there were no urine sightings on my clothes or shoes.

“Let’s go have lunch with Marcus.”

“No, Daddy. I need to wash hands,” she insisted.

I wanted to ask why she needed to wash her hands since she added absolutely nothing to this terrifying experience, but I did what was told. Last thing I needed was to go against whatever her mother taught her.

“Now, are we all done in here?”

“Yes, Daddy. Let’s go. I’m hungry!”

We walked out, hand-in-hand, and I had to smile at the beautiful girl before me. My wife had done a splendid job with her.

“How was potty-time, Alex?” Marcus asked just to annoy me.

“Good.” My daughter was all smiles going back to her coloring.

“Your daddy doesn’t look all that good after that experience.”

“Damn. I don’t know how Jenna makes this look so easy. It took me forty-five minutes to get out of the house with this little one. Why in the hell couldn’t we meet at my house like I asked?”

“Because I wanted you to have the full daddy-daycare experience.”

“You’re an asshole,” I grumbled.

“Asshole? What’s that word, Daddy?”

“Shit!” I moaned, aloud.

“Shit? Asshole?” My daughter giggled. “I like it.” Then she proceeded to repeat the words into her memory bank.

“You’re in deep shit, Man.”

“Deep shit. Deep shit. Deep shit.” Alex repeated the words and giggled too many times for my liking.

“All right, enough with this. Let’s get down to business,” I demanded.

For the next fifteen minutes, Alex was blessedly occupied. She sang to herself and played with the myriad of toys she insisted we bring to the restaurant. Every time I did her bidding and took out a new toy, Marcus’ grin only got bigger and more vocal. By the time we brought out the “typer,” Marcus almost fell off his chair.

“What the hell, Xander? I wondered what was in that immigration-sized suitcase of yours.”

“Shut up, Marcus.”

“Have you ever thought of saying no to your daughter? We’ve been out to dinner all last week with your family, and I’ve never seen Jenna bring anything but a few books and a stuffed animal.” Marcus proceeded to take a picture of the toys that had dwarfed our four-top.

“Who are you sending that to?”

“Your wife and mine. Maybe even Johnny and Mags.” Great. Now everyone else was in on Marcus’ joke.

“I’d really appreciate it if we can finish this up before the food came out, Marcus. Alex needs her nap.”

“All right, Mr. Daddy Daycare.”

Before we could do much else, the food had arrived and I went about putting my daughter’s crap away.

When the servers laid our food before us, I had another terrifying moment ahead of me.

“I want chicken and fries, Daddy!” My daughter insisted.

“Sweetheart, they don’t have chicken tenders here so I got you a lobster mac and cheese with peas. You need to eat something green.”

“NO! You eat something green.” As if I needed to give more ammunition to my soon-to-be ex friend. He started videotaping my conversation with my daughter. “I want chicken and fries!” My daughter was having an all-out war with me at an upscale restaurant.

“Here, Alex. Try some of this lobster mac and cheese. It’s yummy.” I scooped up a bite and handed it to her. To my great delight and surprise, she actually took the fork from my hand and put it in her mouth.

I was relieved as hell—that was until she burned her tongue on the scalding pasta and hollered in pain. How the fuck was I to know that the mac and cheese would be that hot? She wouldn’t stop crying and the onlookers wouldn’t stop gawking, or chuckling.

“Put the damn phone down and help me!” I pleaded and threatened.

Being a few months’ senior on fatherhood, Marcus stood up, went to the bar and quickly came back with a Shirley Temple.

“Here you go, Alex. Uncle Marcus brought you a treat for your burnt tongue.”

My two-year-old was instantly soothed with the sugary substance gliding down her throat. “Look, Daddy! It’s a cherry. I have three cherries.”

“Damn you, Marcus. Now, she’s going to be high on sugar.”

“Better you than me.” He was back to videotaping our exchange.

In the end, Alex ended up eating my seafood salad and I ended up with a gourmet mac and cheese with peas. My damn friend guffawed all the way through lunch.

One day, when I overcame the trauma of today, I’d get Marcus back.

 

*******

“Hi Jenna. How’s it going?”

“Lex! You’re a hard one to get a hold of. How’ve you been? Where’ve you been? I never got to thank you for taking care of my daughter while we were on our honeymoon.”

“I hardly call two nights on a remote island a honeymoon. Xander told me he was going to take you to Europe for a month.”

“Well, we just came back from London and after today, I don’t know that he’s going to want to deal with any more time changes for a while.” We both laughed, thinking about the videos and pictures sent to us. “I can’t believe he took that heavy typewriter to lunch with them. He’s going to be in so much trouble if he keeps doing everything she asks.”

“He’s just head-over-heels in love with her like he is with you. Think what will happen when you have more kids. He’ll buy each child to his and her heart’s content. You’ll have to get a bigger house just for the toys.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. I’m going to have a talk with him when I get home.”

“Are you headed home already?”

“Yeah. My eight hours are done.”

“You want to meet for dinner tonight? I have a lot to tell you, and I need your advice on a few things.”

“Come over. Hopefully, we can get Alex down early. Then we can have the entire evening to ourselves. If this is a private matter, we can send your brother into the office and close the door.”

“All right. I’ll bring a banana cream pie from that bakery you both like.”

“Perfect. See you soon.”

Driving home, I thought about how content I was for the first time in a very long time. Even after Alex was born, as happy as I was to have her, I was never this content. Love, marriage, husband, child, a home to share—they were all too wonderful for words. If pregnancy wasn’t such a difficult time for me, I’d consider popping about a dozen kids. Xander was fantastic with our only daughter. I couldn’t imagine how much more fun it would be to live with a gaggle of children.

We’d been married for almost three weeks now and it’d been a little over two weeks since we’d made love the first time. When it happened, I hadn’t thought about the timing of it all, but now that I was a few days late with my period, I realized we might have created another baby our first time again. Xander would be so pleased. This time, I wanted to do the whole pregnancy test together, with my husband. I had bought the kit during my lunch hour and couldn’t wait to share the possible news. Whether or not I was jumping the gun, it was exciting to come home with possible good news.

I pulled into the garage and was surprised not to see Xander’s car. I had thought he’d be home by now. When I had called him, he was leaving the restaurant at about the same time I left work. Maybe they stayed longer than expected.

I walked into our house, eager to set the pregnancy test on our bathroom counter for Xander to find. Maybe I’d take the test and just leave him to find the results positive, but throw everything away if it’s negative? No, the better way would be for him to find the tester and for us to do it together. Xander had missed out on all this excitement the first time. Never again would he or I be separated when I had news to share—good or bad.

Damn. Now, I was nervous and more contemplative than necessary. I thought back to the time when my doctor had me take a pregnancy test while I thought I was being treated for the flu. I still remembered everything about that visit. When she told me I could be pregnant, I truly thought the world had collapsed on me. I was in so much pain thinking I might be carrying Xander’s child when he had moved on already. There was very little time to revel in the life we might have created. I only worried about his reaction to me. I didn’t want his pity, anger or any condescension. That was probably the worst and best day of my life.

What a difference a few years made. Rather than dreading the result of a pregnancy test, I welcomed it.

“Xander? Alex?” I don’t know why I called out to them when I knew they weren’t home. Chuckling to myself, I went straight to our bedroom to lay out my surprise. The sight that greeted me from my bed gave me the surprise to end all surprises. Hurt and betrayed, I ran out of our room forgetting why I was there in the first place.

 

*******

Finally! We were home and my wife was already here.

Damn. If this wasn’t the longest day of my life. Taking care of a two-year-old was harder than anything I’d done in my short adult life. I’d never make it as a stay-at-home dad. I’d keep my day job and profusely thank my wife for doing such a fine job with hers.

“Jenna.” I greeted my wife who ran out of the house with such force, she’d almost knocked me down. “What’s wrong?” Tears were everywhere. Seeing my wife distraught made me believe the worst. “Talk to me, Jenna. What’s happened? Is it your parents?” She tried to push me away and get to our sleeping daughter. “Dammit. Stop fighting me and tell me, is someone hurt?”

“No. No one who matters to you is hurt—just your wife.” The anger in her answer scared the shit out of me. What the fuck was wrong this time? “Let me go. I’m going to take Alex with me. Give me your car keys.” She fought me every step of the way and sat in the driver’s seat.

“You are not driving in this condition. Talk to me and tell me what I’ve done wrong now. Since this appears to be a weekly occurrence, you’re going to have to learn to discuss your concerns rather than run away.”

That, seemingly, wasn’t the right thing to say. She lashed out at me with, “I’ll do whatever the hell I want to do since that’s what you’d done with your life when Alex and I were struggling to exist on our own. I hate that you can do this to me. The pain you put on me is unbearable, Xander. Why’d you ask me to marry you? I told you that I wouldn’t keep Alex from you. I wish you would’ve just let me be. This hurts too much, Xander.”

“What hurts too much? If you’re going to accuse me for all this wrongdoing, then at least let me know what I’ve done wrong.” After the day I’ve had, I was tired. My wife needed to start explaining herself.

“Go see for yourself in our bedroom. She’s waiting for you.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I walked toward the house but warned, “Do not drive in your condition. I don’t want either of you hurt.” When I saw the slow nod, I walked in to face whatever or whomever was waiting for me.

In my damnedest of dreams, I could’ve never conjured up a naked woman in my bed. Who the fuck was sleeping here? This was like a Goldilocks nightmare, and I was about to become Papa Bear and get this woman the hell out of my house.

“Hello?” I tapped the back of this woman’s shoulder. “Hello!” I tapped again.

She turned around, opened her eyes and smiled. When she turned, the sheet fell to expose her breasts—something I had no interest in seeing. “Hello, Xander. It’s been a while.”

What the fuck! “How did you get into my house and why are you sleeping in my bed, naked?” The guilty party was Gemma, not to be confused with my wife, Jenna, whom I’d been set up with by Marcus and Beth, right before Jenna and Alex came back into my life. We’d had three double dates, all with my now ex-friend and his wife, before I called it quits. “What are you doing here?” I asked again.

“I flew straight here from my trip to Fiji and I thought I’d make you some dinner. I ended up spilling wine on myself instead and was so jet-lagged, I didn’t think you’d mind if I took a nap before you came home.”

“How’d you bypass the key lock? Was the door open?”

“No. Marcus gave me the code soon after we first met.” I was seriously going to kick my buddy’s ass.

“Get up. Get dressed. Get the hell out of here.”

“But—”

“No. Get out!” Now that I’d accomplished the first goal, I needed to head back to my wife to clear up this mess.

Of course she wouldn’t be where I’d last left her. She was a damn contrary and ornery woman, just like her daughter.

Seeing as how the car was here but Jenna was not, I knew I’d find her at her rock—at least I hoped I’d find her at her rock.

 

*******

I didn’t care what Xander told me to do, I was not staying in this house. However, he had the car key and I was a little too emotional and unstable to be driving anywhere. Instead, I picked up my sleeping daughter and decided to go for a walk.

“Hello, Baby.” I whispered and gave her a kiss as I pulled her into my arms.

“Hi, Momma.”

“Let’s go for a walk, Alex. You can sleep while I carry you, OK?”

“OK, Momma,” she whispered back in her drowsy state. “My typer,” she mildly complained when I closed the car door.

“Daddy will bring it to your room. Let’s go.”

Alex must have been exhausted because even after that conversation, she fell right back asleep. I loved it when she slept with her cheek to my chest. It reminded me of all the nights when it was just the two of us; those were simpler times. My daughter was just as much my security blanket as I was hers.

I sat upon my rock and called my mom. I needed TLC, and it surely wasn’t going to come from my husband tonight.

“Hi, Mom.”

“Jenna. How are you? How’s Alex doing from her trip?”

“She’s sleeping right now. I think she and Xander had a full day so far.”

“Poor thing is probably so tired from all the time changes. When can we see her? Your father and I miss her. Richard and Tiffany were also saying today that they miss their granddaughter.”

“Can Alex and I come over today and stay the night?”

“What about Xander?”

“He’s a little busy.”

“All right. Of course. Come now.” I was sure Mom understood I was lying about Xander, but it didn’t matter. I got permission to be somewhere other than here.

“I’ll be there soon.” I hung up and gingerly slid off the rock with my baby in my arms.

“Where are you going?” How had I not noticed Xander approaching me? “Who were you on the phone with just now?”

“Mom.”

“You’re headed to your mother’s?”

“Yes. Is that not allowed?” I sounded more like a bratty child than a pissed-off wife.

“Listen, Jenna. What you saw in the house—”

“Nope. I’m not listening. I don’t want to know. I’m going to Mom’s. I’m having dinner there and spending the night. Alex is coming with me.”

“Jenna.” Xander dragged my name.

“I get it. You had a life before me, after me, and all the days in between. I need some time away to process this, OK? Give me a little time. It’s not every day a wife has to deal with her husband’s naked ex in their marriage bed. By the way, burn the bed. I will not be sleeping in any place where you’ve been with other women. Naïve, stupid me. I should’ve insisted this before we married. That should’ve been one of my stipulations. Get rid of anything that will remind me of all your other women whom you supposedly had never brought to your home but me.” I sounded like a complete moron, but I didn’t give a shit. “See you later.”

“Jenna, please. Hear me out.”

“Nope. Sorry. Don’t want to hear or see anything you have to offer. Already, the image burned in my mind will take a century to erase. Don’t call me. Don’t visit. I’m serious, Xander. Give me some time.”

Praise the Lord! He allowed me to take our daughter to my mother’s without a fight.

 

*******

“What are you doing?”

“I’m glad you’re here, Lex. Put the box down and give me a hand.”

“What the hell, Xander. I’m not helping you move a king-sized bed. Why are you trying to bring this out?”

“I’ll answer questions later. Just help me.” I got a little impatient with my sister. I knew I’d have to give her some sort of an explanation before she’d give me a hand. “Long story, but this bed has to go.”

“Go?”

“Yes, go into the dumpster kind of go.”

“Rather than trying to accomplish the impossible, why don’t you buy a new bed and have the movers take the old one? You’re going to have to buy a new one either way.”

“Brilliant, Lex.”

Lex followed me to my office and watched me order a new king-size bed within minutes. Then, I called the store and told them I needed it delivered today.

“You can’t do that. You can’t just expect a store to deliver a bed to you in the next hour or two. Plus, how’d you know which bed to buy? What if Jenna doesn’t like this bed?”

“Lex, I’m exhausted and the day’s only halfway done.” Before I said another word to shut my sister up, Gemma had come out from the direction of my bedroom.

“Um, I guess I’ll be going.” Gemma stared at the bed that was lodged in the room, somewhat blocking the front door.

“Tell me again who gave you my key code?”

“Marcus.”

“Fine. Like I said, I’m married, I have a daughter, I’m not interested in anything with you or any other woman.” That was all that needed to be said. Gemma left.

“What the fuck?” My sister yelled. “Who?”

“Stop!” I cut her off and told her what had happened. “Hold on,” I also warned and took out my phone.

“What’s up?” Marcus answered on the other line.

“You just ruined my marriage thanks to your meddling. I expect you to call my wife and tell her that it was you who gave that porn star-looking Gemma my key code.”

“Shit, Man. What happened?”

“Jenna found Gemma naked in our bed about ten minutes ago. I believe I told you and Beth that I had no interest in that woman. Why the fuck would you give her access to my house? Now my wife doesn’t believe that I’ve never brought a woman back here but her. She’s at her mother’s refusing to come home. My king-size bed is sitting in the foyer awaiting a dumpster truck. Fix this!”

At some point, Marcus must have put my rant on speaker because I heard Beth apologizing and yelling at her husband for his lack of discernment.

“We’ll fix this, Xander. I’m sorry to you and to Jenna.”

“Beth, it’s been a hell of a day, and I’ve lost both wife and daughter to the in-laws. Help me, I beg of you.”

“We’re on it now. Bye.”

“You’re in some deep shit, Brother.”

“Not you too, Lex. I can’t take any more.”

I went and laid on the couch while Lex took a seat across from me in the single chair. We resembled a shrink and her patient.

“What will you do now, Xander?”

“Hell if I know,” I muttered. “Maybe Jenna will believe Marcus and Beth and come home on her own volition.”

“I thought all was going well.”

“All was going well. Life was good until a small issue in London and now with Gemma. Damn. Will this get any easier?”

“Why do you think Jenna didn’t believe you when you told her about this woman? Have you thought about that?”

“I didn’t get a chance to tell her anything. Jenna emphatically told me to shut the hell up and to give her time to process what had just happened.”

“So she has no idea that you didn’t invite this woman into your home and bed?”

“I’m sure to some degree, Jenna understands that I’m committed to her and our daughter. She just wants to put my past behind her.”

“Were you really with that many women after Jenna? We all thought you lived like a monk.”

“I did live like a monk, almost. There were hardly any dates—a few hookups, but that was all they were.”

“Why haven’t you told this to your wife?”

“I don’t know, Lex. Let’s stop talking. My head hurts.”

“One more thing?” As if I could stop her. “May I give you one suggestion?”

“If I say no, will you stay silent?”

“Nope,” she answered with a giggle. “Here’s my suggestion. No, I’m not married. No, I’ve never been in a serious relationship. But yes, I’m a woman and I’ll tell you what I think you should do.”

“Please tell me and then leave. I need to think about how I will bring my family back home.”

“Date.”

“What?”

“Date your wife.”

“Explain.”

“You and Jenna have never really had a chance to do what most unmarried couples do. Think about it, Xander, you knocked up your girlfriend before you ever took her out on a real date.”

I had to think about what Lex had said. Was that true? “Jenna and I did what other couples do, didn’t we?”

“Have you ever taken her to a simple dinner and a movie?”

“Damn. I don’t remember.”

“A show?”

“Maybe? No? Shit, I don’t know.”

“Have you sent her flowers just because or bought her a present?”

“Flowers, I don’t think so. Gift, yes. I gave her an anklet for her birthday. That reminds me, I don’t think I’ve seen her wear that since we reconnected. I’ll have to ask what happened to it.”

“I would’ve flushed it down the toilet if you were my ex.” I glared at Lex. She responded with, “Just saying.”

I sighed heavily. “So what does dating have to do with getting myself out of trouble?”

“I just thought if you two could rewind, date, have a good time, and grow to trust and love one another, then maybe married life might be easier.”

“The horse is out of the gate already. Is it necessary to force it back in and attempt to start the race again?”

“Call me crazy but I don’t know any woman who doesn’t like to be wooed by her man. Keep her on her toes and surprise her. Romance her. Show her how much you love her and can’t live without her. Maybe during that time, she’ll grow to understand what she means to you.”

Damn. When did my little sister grow up? “Thanks, Lex. I may try what you suggest. You’re pretty smart for a woman who hasn’t dated.”

“Thank you. Now, I think I’ll go see how my sister-in-law and niece are doing. See you later and good luck.”

“Tell them both how great I am and give them a hug and a kiss for me. I’ll be there for them soon.”

“Don’t wait too long.”

Lex left after helping her idiotic brother fix his life. I liked what my sister had to say and agreed it was about time my wife and I went out on a few dates. If getting to know one another would keep us on the right path, I was all for it.

With too much time on my hand, I went back to the room with a vacuum in hand to clean up the rug before our new bed arrived. I’d bought this contraption when I bought the house but had never used it. Never did I think I’d be vacuuming the rug that laid under my bed. These were strange times for me.

It took me a few minutes, but I figured out how to use the machine and stood up to start when I noticed a box on the floor. I froze as I bent to pick it up. It was a pregnancy kit! Initially, a smile spread across my face. Jenna was pregnant! Very quickly, the smile extinguished and fear set in. What if Gemma had brought this with her and Jenna saw it? Fuck! Of all the crazy things—I hadn’t even touched this woman and my wife might have the wrong idea about us. My life was too much. I needed to go see the wife and grovel for something I didn’t do.

 

*******

“Do you want to tell us what’s wrong or are you going to mope around this small house all day? You’ve been staring out the window, waiting for a man whom you’ve told not to come here.”

“Mom. I really would prefer not to talk about it.”

“Then will you at least have some dinner?”

“No, I don’t feel like eating. I’ll make myself something if I get hungry.”

“I thought all was going well with Xander? He’s so attentive to you and Alex. We know he loves the both of you. What’s the matter, Jenna?” Would a mother ever be anything but a mother?

I had no choice but to answer and explain. Once I did my tell-all, Mom basically told me to excuse all—as in excuse all of Xander’s wrongdoings.

“From the bits and pieces I heard from Xander’s friend, Marcus, I don’t think it was your husband who invited this woman, was it?”

“No,” I didn’t like to admit.

“Then why are you so upset?”

“Because he had a life while I was struggling with our daughter. This life included other women, and it makes me want to crawl out of my skin when I think of him with other women. While I was pining for him, hoping maybe, just maybe he might reach out to me and his daughter, he was in bed with other women. I’m mad at him. I’m mad at myself. I’ve always been so stupid where Xander was concerned.”

“Jenna,” Mom gently chided, “you can’t fault the man for living his life after you separated. You could’ve been in a relationship with other men too. You just chose not to do so. You could’ve also extended an olive branch to Xander and invited him to come see his daughter.”

I didn’t know why I was trying to explain myself. Mom always tried to see the good in people. She urged me to reach out to Xander more times than I cared to listen.

“Mom!” My little drill sergeant called. “I want my typer!” she demanded.

“What’s a typer, Jenna?” Grandma Tiff brought her back inside and asked.

“Xander bought her an old-fashioned typewriter. That’s been her latest obsession.”

“I want to go home. I need my typer.”

“Alex, we’re spending the night here. Let’s get you ready for bed.”

“NO! I want my typer!” The wailing began. “I want Daddy!” she cried.

My mother, as well as my mother-in-law, used this to their advantage. Both were immediately on their phones. Mom put hers away when Tiffany got through to her son, first.

“Xander. You need to come quick. Alex needs you.” That was all that needed to be said. She was off the phone and both grandmas took their granddaughter to the kitchen to appease her with a cookie until her father arrived.

I was screwed. Either I could leave, with or without my daughter, so I wouldn’t have to see Xander. Or, I’d face the music and have it out with him. Sadly, I had nowhere else to go. I was a sitting duck.

 

“I’ve missed you, Alex.” Xander was playing hugs and kisses with his daughter. “Would you like to go home and play with your typer?” She nodded like a dutiful daughter. “I have a surprise for you at home. Should we go?”

“Yes, Daddy.” She held his hand and expected to leave. Xander looked at me, and I stayed seated where I was. He might be able to coax his daughter with a trinket or two, but he wasn’t going to dupe me into leaving. I was staying where I was.

“Should we see if Momma wants to come home with us? There’s a present for her too. Maybe you can help her unwrap the gift?”

Alex’s eyes were growing with the number of presents she could unwrap—whether they were hers or not.

“Come on, Mom. Let’s go.” Her annoyed call was almost comical.

“I think I’ll stay here, Alex. You go ahead. You can unwrap my present as well as yours. You can keep it, too.”

The hell with Mom, Alex pulled her father toward the door. If I was in a better mood, I would’ve smirked at Xander.

“We can’t open either gift without Mom, Alex. You need to have her come home with us.”

Now my daughter was just plain pissed. She yelled, “I want to go home!” and had a meltdown. We needed to get a handle on her temper, but tonight wasn’t the time and this wasn’t the place. I had to give in. I also had to have a talk with my husband about his mishandling of his daughter. I didn’t like what I was seeing in her.

“Alex.” I called her out sternly. “You need to stop this tantrum now. We will go home, but you will not get to open any presents for this bad attitude.” That only made her cry harder. “I’m going to count to ten. I want you to calm yourself down.” I crawled from number one to ten and was a little worried when the crying only got louder. However, the smart girl that she was, by the time I hit a loud eight, she almost immediately stopped. It was amazing to watch how manipulative my daughter could be when she knew the tactic would work, and how quickly she changed her tune when she knew she was on the losing end. “Are you ready?” I asked one more time.

“Yes, Momma.” She ran into my arms and pronounced, “I love you, Momma. Can I see my present?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “You may see it, but you may not open it until tomorrow morning, after breakfast.”

“But,” she was about to cry again until she saw my face. She watched me, she assessed me, then she decided to save her tears. “Home, Daddy.” She fell out of my arms and ran to her father’s.

“Do not give into her charms, Xander.” After the row we had earlier, I knew he wouldn’t go against my wishes.

 

*******

It was damn hard to say no to my pouty daughter, but I had to stick to her mother’s decrees. I was in enough shit already. I didn’t need one more misdemeanor over my head. Alex did her best to touch her present for as long as her mother would allow, but she didn’t dare open it. When she was told it was time for bed, the probable tears were too much for either one of us.

I suggested, “Do you think Alex could take her present with her to bed?”

The relief on Jenna’s visage was immediate. “Sure. Would you like to sleep with your present?”

“Yes, Momma!” Our daughter jumped at the offer and quickly finished her nighttime routine so she could hold her present that much sooner. “Goodnight,” she said and held her gift as if it was another typer.

I watched my daughter fall asleep immediately and made sure she was comfortable before leaving her room. When I tried to take the present from her and place it on her nightstand, she wouldn’t let go. Fearing she might wake up, I let it be and turned to walk out with my wife.

What delusional world was I living in believing Jenna would be here waiting for me? She was long gone.

“Jenna?” I called but she was nowhere to be found. “Jenna.” There was no answer again. Every bedroom was empty, though her car was in the garage. Either she was in the guesthouse or on her rock. First, I tried her rock. It was empty and there was no lone figure walking the beach. Next, I tried the guesthouse. Bingo. She was there making her bed for the night. “May I at least show you the gift I hurriedly prepared for you?”

“No thank you.” What on earth made me think this was going to be not this difficult?

“Did you speak with Marcus?”

“I did.”

“Then you know that the woman you saw was not my doing. It was all Marcus’ idiotic idea.”

She glared at me. “I suppose.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. I hated this groveling business, especially when I didn’t do anything to merit a grovel. “I’m not sleeping without you.” Jenna didn’t answer. “If you insist on staying here, I’m staying here with you.”

That’s where I got her. “You can’t leave Alex in the house by herself.” Jenna was outraged.

“My security system is tight. No one will get in.” Of course, I wasn’t going to leave my daughter in a house, alone. I was playing a game of chicken with my wife, hoping she would cave, first.

“Your Gemma got in.”

My wife was a serious smartass. “She’s not my anything. We went on a few double dates with Marcus.”

“And you thought I was a call girl,” Jenna muttered. “Gemma looks like porn star. I can just imagine what you and Gemma did during your double dates.”

I wanted to make out with this adorable woman, but I feared for my balls. I knew she’d kick them if I got too close.

“Where will you be tonight, Wife? Here with me or in the main house with me?”

“Asshole.” There was no quiet grumbling when she branded me. I followed with only a smile.

Being the contrary woman that she was, Jenna went straight for the couch rather than the bedroom. I didn’t fight her. When she made herself comfortable, I did the same and slept spooning her. She knew better than to fight me. Like old times, we fell asleep, cramped, but happy to be close to one another.

 

*******

“Momma. Daddy. Wake up!”

“Shit.” I moaned. It wasn’t too smart of me to tell a two-year-old that she could open her present in the morning. It was still dark outside.

“Can I open?” Alex lifted her present and brought it within two inches from my eyes.

“You need to eat first, Alex. Daddy will fix you something.”

“No I won’t. It was your brilliant idea to do it in the morning. She’s all yours,” Xander grumbled from behind me. “Shit, Jenna. Can we not sleep here anymore? Regardless of how large this sofa is, my body can’t take it. I’m going to need a massage to work out all the kinks. I don’t think we moved at all last night.”

“Last I checked, I wasn’t having a party on this sofa, and you were definitely not invited to join me.”

“Mom! Dad!” The inevitability of what had to happen was literally staring us in the face.

“Let’s go eat something first, Baby.”

“No. I eat cheese and apples.” She held up a half-eaten block of cheese in one hand and a slice of apple with the same result in the other hand.

“Did you get those from the refrigerator?” I asked, surprised.

“Yes, and milk.” We were floored to find that she’d popped a straw into the individual to-go container of milk, and she’d fed herself. “Can I open now?”

What choice did I have? “Sure, Baby. Go ahead.”

There was no time to celebrate as she ripped open the package. What she found, she didn’t really understand until Xander stood up and brought her typer out.

“These are all colored paper in the shape of butterflies and you can put them in the typer, Alex.” She was still lost. “You see? When you put the paper in the right place and you push down on an A-l-e-x, it prints out the word, ‘Alex.’”

Our daughter was fascinated. Up until now, she liked pushing the buttons but had no idea that a typer would print out words on a piece of paper. Xander must have purchased ink along with the paper and fixed the old machine so it would work properly.

Alex began typing and a whole new world opened up to her; she was transfixed by the mechanism even more.

“How much time will that buy us?” he asked, hopping back into our “bed.”

“Who knows? Since she’s already fed herself, maybe we have another half an hour?”

“She’s growing up too fast, Jenna.”

I watched our daughter concentrating on the keys that created letters on the paper. She couldn’t get enough of it. She pushed down on one key, then two at a time, then back to one.

“Some days it frightens me to see how quickly she’s growing up. I see the personality forming, her features setting, and her little body blossoming under all the love she’s been receiving. She’s always had much love from those around her. I’m just glad she has so many family members nearby. You’ve been the best change for her, Xander. I couldn’t have been both mother and father for her for too much longer. She needed a man’s influence. You came to her at the perfect time.”

“I’d like to think I’ve been good for both daughter and mother.”

How could I argue with the man who held me all last night. Security, insecurity, love, fear, hope, disappointment—I felt them all, but what I felt the strongest was love. I loved this man. I always had.

“We should probably get up. I’ll shower first if you’ll watch Alex.”

He didn’t argue. Instead, he sat on the floor with our daughter and put another paper in the typer for her. Mesmerized, Alex didn’t even look up at her father. She concentrated on each key and the mark it made on the paper.

“Do you like it, Baby?” She ignored her father and continued playing. Her smile said it all. “What color paper should we put in next? You want the purple one?”

That received an emphatic, “No. I want pink paper.”

Unable to tear myself from the unfolding scene, I walked at a snail’s pace into the guest bathroom. Still, I couldn’t face my own bedroom. An image of that porn star-looking Gemma, sleeping naked in my bed, festered in my mind.

Of course, my intentions of not walking into my bedroom for the next year failed when I realized all my clothes were in my bedroom. I supposed I had to face reality at some point. Damn. I so didn’t want to do this.

 

*******

The shower had turned off and it was inevitable that my wife would walk into our bedroom. The stubborn woman that she was, she’d gone into the guest bathroom rather than straight into her own. She had absolutely no intention of making life any easier on me. Damn, adorable woman.

“Alex, I’m going to go see your mom, OK? Can you stay here and play with your typer?” As if that was a question I needed to ask. I put a new piece of pink paper into the machine and walked toward our bedroom once I saw Jenna go in.

I almost ran into my wife who was stuck at the doorframe of our room, staring at her new surroundings. Curling my arms around her waist, I kissed her neck and asked, “What do you think?”

“When did you do this?”

“Yesterday, after you ripped into me.”

“But, how did you do this?”

“I went online, purchased a new bed, a new rug, and two new night stands. The rest, you’ll have to purchase if you want this room completely changed.”

“What happened to the old furniture? There was nothing wrong with it.” Yeah, right.

“There was nothing wrong with it if I planned on sleeping on the bed alone until I was ninety-five,” I teased and kissed her a few more times. “My wife was unhappy—and rightly so. I donated everything to the local shelter.”

“Oh.” That was all she had to say?

“I want you to be clear on the fact that no other woman has been in any of my beds but you, my sweet Jenna. Only you have been in my heart, able to make it bleed with misery or cry with joy. I don’t ever want you to doubt my devotion to you, ever again.” Jenna was quiet and I knew why. “Yes, I have been with other women. Since we separated, there haven’t been many, but I’ve had sex with a few. I’ve been careful with whom I’d spent my time and none of them have lasted beyond a few dates. I wish there’d been no other women since we met, but that’s not the case and after yesterday, I realize I need to come clean with what I’d done.”

 

*******

Even after witnessing Xander’s grand gesture of changing out our bedroom and making sure that I understood how important I was in his life—why’d it hurt so much to hear about him and other women? It wasn’t as though he didn’t have a right to see other women. As my mother had said, I could’ve been with other men had I chosen a different lifestyle. No one was passing out awards for being celibate for three years.

“Sweet Jenna, don’t cry. The stupid errors of my ways don’t deserve your tears.” My husband was wiping away tears that I didn’t realize were free-falling all over my face. He turned me around and held me tight. “I should’ve come for you and our daughter earlier. Why I waited this long to have this kind of happiness is beyond anyone’s comprehension. I know you struggled raising our daughter. It positively slays me to think of you going to school, working, and caring for Alex. I wish I’d been courageous enough to walk in and meet my daughter on her first birthday. Had I not seen Larry at your apartment, we would’ve reconciled earlier.”

That was a surprise. “You were at Alex’s first birthday?”

“I was. I’d arrived at your apartment and was gathering the courage to come see you and our daughter when I saw Dr. Tanner. Old habits die hard, Jenna. Automatically, I believed you and he were still together. I didn’t see how I’d fit into your threesome.”

“Didn’t your family tell you I wasn’t seeing anyone?”

“Yes and no. They never mentioned it either way, I suppose. As much as they encouraged me to go see Alex, they didn’t say much about you. I figured they either didn’t know or they didn’t want me to know.”

It was time to bury the hatchet and to forget. I never saw myself as a vengeful person, but apparently I was. Forgetting wasn’t easy.

“Thank you for changing out the bed, bedding, nightstands, and rug. You didn’t need to buy anything other than a new bed, but I appreciate the thought.” With a relatively tearless face, I kissed my husband. “I’ll try harder to let go. I know you had a life. I’m sorry I keep taking up issues with your past. Just know that I wouldn’t be this torn up if I didn’t love you so much. There are times when I wish I didn’t love you as much as I do.”

“I need your love, Jenna. That’s what makes my heart beat. In the years you’ve been in my life, I’ve only had your love for not even a month. I want it for the rest of our lives. Please don’t keep it from me.”

“As if I could,” I grumbled.

Pulling away from Xander, I walked around the room to take in our new pad. Xander had great minimalist taste. I appreciated what he’d done, especially in the short time he had.

“Let me change and I’ll make us some breakfast. I’m starved.”

Xander said nothing but followed me into the bathroom where I saw the pregnancy kit taking center stage on the marble counter.

“Were you going to tell me about the new baby or was I going to find out at month four?”

Suddenly, I felt shy talking about what and who was inevitable with the amount of sex we were having. “I’m not sure if I’m pregnant. I’m only a few days late, and my cycle is irregular, but I thought I’d buy the kit and go through this process again—this time with the father of my child,” I teased.

That earned me a light spanking on the rear. “You want to do this now or should we hold off a few weeks?”

I knew Xander and I’d be all right, but something about our mood right now wasn’t the perfect time. I wanted us to be in that ideal moment when we found out whether we would be expecting a second child. “Let’s wait. It’s premature and I don’t want us to be disappointed if I’m not pregnant. After a week or so, if my cycle doesn’t make an appearance, let’s take the test together.”

“Sounds good to me. In the meanwhile, will you indulge me?”

“How so?”

“Lex was here yesterday after you’d left and said something that made a lot of sense. I think I’ll heed my wise sister’s advice.”

“What did she say?”

“That’s my secret, Sweet Jenna.” He answered with a quick kiss and a wink. “You finish up and I’ll get breakfast started. I’ll also make sure our daughter hasn’t littered the living room with colored butterfly-shaped paper.”

“What’s the secret, Xander? I really don’t like surprises.”

“You’ll have to learn to like them. Also, don’t think you’ll ask Lex for answers. I’ve told her not to tell you.”

“Geez.” I complained.

“I’m calling your parents and/or mine to come babysit our daughter tonight. Be ready for me by six o’clock.”

“What will we do?”

“That’s a secret.”

“Then how am I to be ready? Are we talking everyday wear? Formal wear? Beach wear?”

“What you look like on a daily basis is gorgeous enough, Jenna. I don’t need you attracting the attention of all the other men.”

“Whatever. Go.” I pushed him out of the bathroom. “It’s too quiet out there. Lord knows what that girl is up to. She tends to have a naughty streak like her daddy.”

With another kiss, he walked away.

For the first time, ever, I felt as if we were going to make it.

Security felt damn good.

 

*******

“Burger and beer?” My wife asked, quite surprised.

“I told you that your usual self was beautiful enough. With that nightclub outfit on your perfect body, you have all the men ogling you. I should’ve had you change.”

“Why didn’t you?” she sounded annoyed. “I did ask how I should dress.”

“And I did tell you to be your usual, beautiful self.”

“What’s after this?”

“We just got here. Sit. Relax. Let’s have a beer, eat dinner, and see where this takes us.”

“What’s this all about?” Always the suspicious one, she had a hard time just enjoying herself.

“Like I said, relax, Sweet Jenna. What would you like to eat?”

It took a little coaxing to get Jenna to leave our daughter with our parents. Not only did we leave her for the evening, we left her for the night. Initially, the idea was to take my wife out on a date. When I told our parents about Lex’s idea that I should date my wife, they were thrilled. My mother-in-law suggested that we should leave Alex with them for the night and come back for her late Sunday morning. I told her that she was brilliant and here we were—at a sports bar, ordering food, watching games on all the televisions around us, and behaving like a couple.

“Tell me about the client you had to meet after breakfast, Xander. It sounded urgent.”

“It wasn’t urgent, but he’s been hounding me to listen to his new venture. I’ve been pushing him off since before London, and he caught me today. Did you mind that I conducted business on Saturday?”

“No, Xander. Alex and I are so lucky to have you around during the week, when you have to work, I consider it a necessary bummer.”

I leaned over and kissed my girl. Pulling her chair closer to me, I said, “Have I told you how much I look forward to coming home these days?”

“No, but I know exactly how you feel. When Alex and I lived in Columbus, we’d come home from our outings and I hated knowing we’d be greeted by an empty apartment. Even as small as it was, it was too quiet—especially when Alex went to sleep. Did I tell you that I usually slept no more than three to four hours a day?”

“No, why?”

“I worked as many hours of the night to fill the void. However, no matter how hard I tried to breach the silence, whether with soft music, television, or work, my life was continually barren.”

“So you’d work in the living room while our daughter slept in the bedroom?”

“Yeah. I became the agency’s best editor, finishing book after book. I made a lot of money during those years.”

“Tell me how you got by while pregnant, attending school, and working. I should’ve helped you.” This regret for my past actions, or better stated, inaction, would be my cross to bear.

“When I was pregnant, I had school, lodging and meals provided by the school. Thank God I’d earned a scholarship. It would’ve been nearly impossible if I had to earn a living during those days. After I had Alex, I had a gracious roommate who offered to bunk with another suitemate. With the school’s permission, I had an entire room in the suite to myself.”

“So how did you attend school and take care of our newborn?”

“Mom came and stayed with me the last few months of school. She took care of Alex day and night for the first three months. The nursing school was ridiculously supportive. They gave me half hour breaks, and I’d run from the hospital to my room to nurse our daughter every three hours. Since Alex ate, slept, and pooped for the first two months of her life, leaving her with Mom wasn’t hard. Once she began smiling and recognizing me, it took much willpower to leave a cooing baby.”

“I wish I could’ve seen her during that time.”

“But you have, Xander. Your parents and Lex came into the picture soon after Alex was born, and you’ve seen pictures and videos of your daughter.”

“It’s not the same.”

“I know, but it is what it is, Xander. We promised not to dwell on the past.”

“We did. I just want a clearer picture of our daughter’s earlier days.”

These would be days I’d never get back, thanks to my stupidity.

 

*******

“Let me ask you a question.”

“Shoot.”

“What’d you think of your daughter when you saw that first picture of her?”

“Honestly?”

“Absolute honesty.”

“I wept.”

“You did?” I placed my hand on Xander’s face and kissed him. “Did you notice how much she looked like you? She was a perfect female version of you.”

Xander leaned in and kissed me again. “I actually saw so much of you in our daughter. Though she was blonde like her aunt and paternal grandmother, her face, especially when she opened her eyes, was all you. It broke me to see you in her. I’d been the world’s biggest dick, and you’d gifted me with the best present a man could receive.”

“Did you ever want to come see us or were you content to see pictures of your daughter through the eyes of your family?”

“I desperately wanted to see you and our daughter. Daily, I struggled with myself. You don’t know how many times I’d purchased a plane ticket to Columbus and canceled it.”

“Can I make a confession to you?”

“Of course, Sweet Jenna.”

“Alex and I’d visited LA about three times before you came to see us at the park. Each time we were here, I drove by your house and parked along the highway.”

“You did?” I liked the sound of my husband’s regret. “I wish I’d seen you. Had I known, I would’ve made the next move and brought you and our daughter back home.”

I sighed thinking back to those lonely days where I sat in the car, praying to God that Xander would come home that very moment and see us. “I timed our drive with Alex’s nap schedule. We’d come here, I’d sit in the parked car, across the street from you, and hope luck would be on my side. Never once did I see any life in your house. With my hopes dashed, I went back to Larry’s, debating whether I should try again the next day.”

“Sweet Jenna. Had you rang the doorbell, or just used the key code and come in...our lives could’ve been happier, a lot sooner.”

“I guess we needed a little more time to grow up. It’s all right, Xander. This delayed gratification is pretty darn sweet.”

My husband gave me one more tender embrace. “I love you, Sweet Jenna. Thank you for giving me my life back. I hope I make you half as happy as you and our daughter make me.”

“You are a dream come true for the both of us, Xander. I love you too.”

With the serious part of our night done, we finished our meal and Xander announced that there was another part to our night. Who was I to argue with my husband who’d planned this time for us? I followed his lead.

“A movie?” I asked, surprised.

“When was the last time we watched a movie in a movie theater?”

I had to think about that. “Um, never?”

“Exactly. I don’t care what we watch. Pick a movie so I can buy us a tub of popcorn and make out with my stunning bride.”

I laughed. “I don’t think people do that anymore in the theater. In fact, that might be considered rude.”

“Fine. Pick a movie that’s been out for a while. With no one in the theater, who’s going to complain about the couple who can’t keep their hands off each other?”

Now, I was getting worried. “I’ll watch a movie with you if you promise not to do anything in the theater.”

“No deal.” Xander proceeded to the box office and asked which movie had been out the longest. Once he got his answer, he purchased the tickets, bought a gigantic tub of popcorn and an enormous drink with two straws, and led me into theater number nine.

“Shit,” I mumbled. There was not a body in sight.

“Yes!” Xander did a fist pump while carefully holding our snacks. “You ready?” His smirk was adorable.

“Do I have a choice?”

“Nope.”

True to his words, we couldn’t keep our hands and lips off one another. I could hardly recall what it was that we watched, other than each other.

 

*******

“Lex. I need a babysitter this weekend.”

“Seriously, Xander? Friday and Saturday nights? Maybe I have two dates lined up this weekend. I’m young, beautiful, and single. I have a life.” My sister was always a laugh-and-a-half.

“You’re the one who suggested I date my wife. I have tickets to the opera tonight and to a concert tomorrow night. The grandparents are away for the weekend. You, Auntie Lele, are on. Alex is looking forward to the present that comes with Auntie Lele.”

My sister groaned but I knew she was also grinning. “That girl of yours is taking me to the poorhouse. Does your wife know of your plans?”

“Nope. Last weekend worked out well with a dinner and a movie. I’m continuing the wooing.”

“Great. At my expense.”

“Let me remind you that I’m only following your advice. My wife is enjoying our time together. My daughter is enjoying her time with her extended family. Everyone is happy.”

“Except for poor Auntie Lele who can’t seem to get a date if her life depended on it.”

“It’s good for you to be single, Lex. You have much to do before settling down.”

“Says the man who’s deliriously in love.” I knew my sister was happy for me, but I sensed she was lonely.

“Your time will come, Lex. When it does, hold on tight and don’t let go.”

“All right, Big Brother. What time shall I be there?”

“How about five-thirty? We have a dinner reservation at six.”

“Any suggestions on what to buy that precious girl of yours? She’s seriously beautiful, Xander. She’s going to give you gray hair by the time she’s five.”

“Don’t I know it. She’s as gorgeous as my wife.”

“Your lovesick ways make me smile, gag, and envious all at the same time.”

“My daughter says she wants a shopping cart for all her cooking toys. I’ve already purchased one in your name. Pick it up before you come by the house.”

“You spoil her rotten, Xander. She’s going to have a hard time when that second one comes along.”

I hung up with Lex and thought about our next child who could already be growing. It had been almost a week since we last talked about taking the test. As impatient as I was, I’d wait until Jenna decided it was time to discover the next chapter of our future.

 

*******

“Hey, Jenna.”

“Hello, Dr. Tanner. I haven’t seen you all day today. You’ve been busy.”

“I have. It’s been a crazy day, but it’s almost over.” I’d tried to have lunch with Larry today but he was inundated with patients. I was glad he stopped by to say hello. “I’ve been meaning to tell you all day that my sisters are in town and would like to see you.”

“They are? They didn’t tell me they were coming.”

“It was a last minute add-on.”

“Explain, Dr. Tanner.”

“Mom had an emergency meeting in LA. The company allowed her the use of the plane. The daughters hopped on a free flight and will use my place as free lodging and free food. Get the picture?”

I laughed. “Would you, Lucia, and Lilly want to come over for dinner tonight? Alex would love to see all three of you. It’s been too long.”

The hesitation was there, but only for a second. “OK. You sure the husband won’t mind? Shouldn’t you ask him for his permission?”

This time, I laughed at him. “No, Xander won’t mind, and no, I don’t need his permission to invite friends over to our home. He will welcome you as will our daughter. Can you come a little earlier since Alex goes to bed by seven-thirty? Is five too early?”

“Nope. I’m off now. I can swing by and pick up the sisters. They’re lounging in the backyard as we speak.”

“Perfect. Since Alex played hooky from school, again, she’ll be happy to see someone other than her father.”

“All right. We will be there at five bearing gifts for that gorgeous little girl of yours.”

“Please. No gifts. She has too many already.” I knew Larry wouldn’t listen.

“See you soon.”

I thought about calling Xander to let him know of our plans tonight, but I decided against it. No use informing him of Larry coming over. Once we were all together, Xander would figure it out and behave like the perfect gentleman that he was.

 

*******

“Hello!” The wife was home.

“Alexandria. Momma’s home. Let’s go give her a big hug and a kiss.”

“OK, Daddy.” I walked behind a two-year-old who ran into her mother’s arms. “Hi Momma.”

“It must’ve been a good day today for the Momma moniker to make an appearance. What’d you do today, Alex? Everyone at preschool missed you.”

“I don’t wanna go to school. I wanna stay with Daddy.”

“You can stay with Daddy forever, Baby.” I kissed my daughter on the cheek and my wife on the lips. “Good day?”

“Definitely a good day. I need to tell you a few things about tonight.”

“OK. I have a few things to tell you too.”

Before either of us could say another word, the doorbell rang and we heard my sister calling from the outside.

“Alex! Open the door. This present is too big and heavy for Auntie Lele to hold.”

“Present? Auntie Lele?” Ever the savvy one, our daughter wiggled out of her Mom’s arms and ran to open the door. “Help!” she practically yelled at us to give her some assistance. “Auntie Lele’s here.”

“As if she’d be this excited about her auntie if I didn’t have a gift in my arms,” we heard from the outside.

“Hello, Auntie Lele.” Jenna kissed my sister on the cheek and welcomed her into our home.

“Auntie Lele! Auntie Lele!” Our daughter would not be ignored. With outstretched arms, we didn’t know whether she was asking for a hug or for her gift. It was most likely the latter.

“Hello, Squirt. Long time no see. Did you miss me?” Lex, the smart girl that she was, still had the gift in one hand while nuzzling her niece full of kisses.

“What’s that?” Alex asked coyly—if that word was even possible with this girl.

“It’s a great big surprise for you. Would you like to open it?”

“Yes.” She nodded her head hard enough for me to worry it might fall off, again.

“Then Auntie Lele needs the biggest hug and kiss, ever.” Alex quickly complied. “Here you go. Open it.”

While my little girl went to town ripping open the wrapping paper, Jenna lamented, “Lex. You can’t come bearing gifts every time. You’re just as bad as your brother.”

“Considering it was my brother who bought the present, you can blame him.”

Jenna’s frown was darling. I kissed her until she smiled.

“Look Momma! Look! Look! Look! It’s a shopper!” My daughter seemed to like adding the letters e and r to every word.

“Yes, Alex. It’s a shopping cart. How wonderful. Auntie Lele is the best. Why don’t you thank her again?”

She could care less about her auntie now. She zoomed off with her shopper.

“Her love is so fickle,” Lex lamented with a smile.

“I’m glad you’re here, Lex. This will be like old times,” Jenna commented. “Larry and his sisters—” The doorbell rang again and Jenna called for Alex to come out as she opened the door. “Lilly! Lucia!” she greeted two young women.

“Jenna! It’s been so long.” The ladies returned her enthusiastic sentiment. “Your house is stunning. Why haven’t we been invited sooner? I’d like to be a houseguest here for about ten years.”

“Lucia, you’re so funny.” Jenna gave both ladies another hug.

“Where’s my welcome?” There was no mistaking the man I once considered my enemy.

“Whatever, Larry. You see Jenna all the time. We never see her.”

Then Lex joined in the merriment. “What about my welcome?”

“Oh. My. Gawd! Lexie! What are you doing here?” One of the young women yelled as my sister bowled into their group hug. The four of them were having a lovefest, leaving the two of us to greet one another.

“Hello. I’m Xander.” I didn’t have a choice but to make nice with a man whom I didn’t think would ever be standing in my living room.

“I’m Larry. The especially loud one is Lucia,” he pointed to the slightly shorter young lady. “The one jumping up and down is Lilly. They’re my sisters from Columbus, Ohio, who apparently don’t get out enough.” I liked this Larry’s sense of humor.

“What’s happening?” Our baby girl came out with her “shopper” and asked.

“Alex!” The loving happened all over again.

“Do you remember me? I’m Auntie Lilly.” Alex shook her head no.

“What about me? Auntie Lucia?” Once again, Alex told them that she had no idea who they were.

This time, it was Larry’s turn. “I know you remember me, Alex. I’m the one holding all the presents.” He pulled over a giant trash bag full of wrapped gifts.

“Hi, Doctor.” My daughter was as clever as the MD who gave her much affection. Surprisingly, it didn’t bother me to see him loving my daughter. Somewhere along the way, I’d have to thank him for being there for my family when I wasn’t. Today was not the day, but I’d get there sometime this century.

It wasn’t easy talking over a foursome of ladies whose goal was to talk louder than the last person. However, Jenna and I needed to get going soon.

“Jenna.” There was no answer. “Jenna.” Nope. Still, she was too enamored with her friends. “Jenna Blane!” I yelled.

“Oh. Xander. Sorry. Let me introduce you to Lucia and Lilly. Ladies, this is my husband.”

The two sisters checked me out. I was surprised they didn’t ask me to do a three-sixty before giving me their four thumbs’ up approvals.

“Jenna. We need to get going.”

“What?” My wife sounded as if I’d told her we were going to go bungie diving. “What do you mean? But my friends are here. I invited them over for dinner.”

Shit. No good deed went unchallenged with this woman.

 

*******

What the hell was Xander talking about? I hoped this wasn’t because he was unhappy about Larry being here.

“You all are welcomed to stay for dinner. However, Jenna and I have plans. I apologize.”

“What?” I asked again. “What plans? You never told me we had plans.”

“That was the point, Dear Wife. It is a surprise. If you knew what was happening, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

“But Xander. I invited my friends over.” What was I to do?

Surprisingly, Larry came to my rescue. “How about we hang here with Alex and Lexi and you go out with your husband?” What? “By the way, hi, Lex. Haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Uh, yeah. Hi back. It’s been a while.”

That awkward, bizarre exchange totally threw me off. “But I invited you over for dinner. Lucia, Lilly and I haven’t seen each other in a while.”

“We can have dinner another night.” Larry was being way too accommodating. “Tomorrow?” he asked Xander who shook his head no. “Sunday?”

“Sunday is perfect. Please come over for brunch. We’ll have a nice spread waiting.”

Was this the same man who didn’t want me to work once a week because Larry was my boss?

Was this the same man who told me that friendship with my husband was too soon?

What the hell was going on here?

“Get dressed, Jenna. We’re late now.”

“Um...” I was still unsure what I should do. My friends and family made it easy for me. They all took Alex into the living room and allowed her to open the gifts one by one.

“Go,” my husband urged. “There’s an outfit waiting for you in our bedroom. I’ll get dressed while you shower.”

“OK,” I answered while watching all that was happening around me. How had life gotten this much easier? I had no damn clue.

Whatever. I’d take it.

“At this rate, we won’t get to eat before the main event.” This would be the last warning as Xander picked me up and literally placed me in the shower.

“All right. You’re so bossy.” That was a complaint that wasn’t really a complaint.

Since I was told several times that we were late, I showered, put on makeup and put my hair in a messy up-do. I didn’t think I had the luxury of blow-drying my hair. When I stepped into the room, Xander was already outside, probably tapping his feet waiting for me.

I quickly unzipped the outfit Xander had placed on the hangar and was stunned at the dress before me. It was awesome—like Oscar-quality awesome. I had no idea where we were headed, but I felt like a princess once I wore the dress and placed my feet in the heels. My husband had such good taste.

“Exquisite!” My husband declared when I walked into the room without falling on my face. “You take my breath away, Sweet Jenna.” I was too embarrassed to look at anyone.

“Momma! You look pretty!” My daughter ran up and hugged my legs.

“Thank you, Baby. You’ll be a good girl for everyone here?”

“Yes, Momma. Look. Look at my toys.”

I saw the unthinkable number of gifts my daughter was gorging on and knew we would be in for a difficult day tomorrow.

“Why don’t you put some of those away and play with them tomorrow?” I told my daughter but suggested to the adults who were spoiling her beyond reason.

“This is only half the pile, Momma.” I groaned when Larry made this announcement.

“Bye.” I kissed my girl one last time and left with my husband.

“Incredible, Sweet Wife. You are the most beautiful woman.”

Once again, I turned bright red, embarrassed at the praise. “It helps when your husband has good taste. Thank you for the outfit. I won’t ruin this evening by asking how much this all cost.”

“Good thinking, Jenna. Let’s go enjoy ourselves.”

 

“Another night out? Xander,” I complained. “Our daughter doesn’t like being pushed off on sitters all weekend. It’s our job to be with her.”

Last night at the opera was stirring on the senses in every possible way. Xander did nothing inappropriate while out in public, but he didn’t and wouldn’t stop touching me. His hand was on me somewhere, everywhere. By the end of the night, I was on edge, wanting to rip his tuxedo off and have sex with him anywhere, everywhere. Damn man knew what he was doing and he enjoyed watching me squirm.

“Tonight will be fun.”

“Every night with you is fun, Xander. Why don’t we spend it at home with Alex?”

“Because, Sweet Jenna, I’m wooing you, and I can’t do it at home with our two-year-old commanding our attention. I need you all to myself.”

“Is that what you’ve been doing? Wooing?” For some odd reason, I had no idea that was his intention. “But why?”

“Lex brought up the fact that you and I have never dated. I don’t know that we have ever gone out to dinner without a fight, and I know that we’ve never been to the movies together. We started backwards and I want right the wrong.”

“Xander, nothing is wrong now. We’re together and I’ve loved every moment of our time. You don’t need to prove anything. I’m fine with what we have.”

“Let me do this for you, Jenna. Had we started off as any normal couple, I don’t think we would’ve separated. In years past, I’ve been too set in my ways. Let me show you that I can be your prince charming.”

As if that was necessary—he would forever be my prince charming. “All right. But, can we slow it down a bit? We have a lifetime for you to woo me. Let’s not try and do it all in one month.”

“Anything you want, Sweet Jenna.”

“Who’s babysitting tonight?”

“Lexie.”

“Speaking of Lex, what was that with your sister and Larry?”

“Which part? The one where he and Lex were asleep, together, on the couch until we interrupted them? Or is it the part where I thought I heard him say he’d be back tonight?”

“What?” I said a bit too loudly.

“He’s your friend. Ask him.”

Last night, we’d come home to find Lex and Larry completely conked out on the sofa. Nothing inappropriate was happening, but it was odd that just the two of them were left alone. Supposedly, according to Larry, his sisters got called away to a party. However, the two single people in question were awkward with one another to a point where Xander and I wondered if anything was happening between them.

“I’ll let them figure it out on their own. They’re grown adults. I’m sure I have nothing to add to a possible budding relationship.”

 

*******

“Xander, what time do you think you’ll be home tonight?”

Shit. I needed to give my wife the bad news. After spending a spectacular weekend together, I hated telling her about tonight.

“I have a business dinner tonight. It’ll probably last long.”

“Yeah? I didn’t realize you were going to be out tonight. When did this happen?”

“A few days ago. I just didn’t want to tell you.” The way my wife looked at me, I had no choice but to tell her the truth. I just hoped it wouldn’t set our relationship back.

“All right…if you don’t want to tell me, I won’t pry. Maybe I’ll take Alex to the grandparents’ and have dinner with them. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

I couldn’t let her walk away wounded. “Come here.” I caught her before she escaped my embrace. “I didn’t think you’d want to know that I had to have dinner with Jackson White at the Downtown Club.”

“Oh,” was all she could say.

“To make this situation even more bizarre, he’s bringing his new wife, Katie-Rose, to dinner.”

“No way!”

“Yes, way.” With my wife’s pouty lips close to mine, she was asking to be kissed. “So you see why I didn’t want to tell you about this Groundhog-Day-gone-wrong dinner?”

“I see.”

“So you’re not mad?”

“Nope.”

“All is good?”

“Yep.”

“Shall I tell Katie-Rose you said hello?”

That’s when my wife lost it and laughed.

 

*******

What were the chances that tonight would happen? Same place, same time, same double-dates, and even the same dress. It took a bit of last minute planning, but I knew this would work out well.

Once I arrived at the scene of the crime, though, I was so nervous, I almost left. In hindsight, maybe my plan was a bit immature, bordering on lame. Perhaps I should go back home?

“Jenna! Hi. It’s been too long. I was so happy to get your call.”

“Hi Katie-Rose. Thank you for doing this. I hope it doesn’t ruin any business that Jackson has with Xander.”

My former roommate giggled. “Jackson and I thought it was sweet when you called and asked for this favor. Let’s go in. I think the men are waiting.”

I followed Katie-Rose into the oh-so familiar dining room and saw my husband’s back. When Katie-Rose’s husband spotted us, he immediately stood and Xander followed, still with his back to me.

“Jenna?” Jackson called.

I looked up and that’s when I saw Xander. He was still the epitome of every sexy adjective in the English dictionary.

Tall.

Dark.

Handsome.

Powerful.

Intimidating.

Enigmatic.

To this day, he was utterly disarming. As it does every time I realize this man is the father of my child, my body went into shock. It was like a thousand chrysalis to butterfly metamorphoses happening simultaneously—wanting to fly away, but trapped in my body. It was like an electric panel about to overload—sparks flying everywhere just before the breakers burst into flames. I felt eerily like a balloon about to burst because the helium tank wouldn’t shut off.

My husband was truly the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. If he were a movie star, he’d be Marlon Brando. If he were an athlete, he’d be Michael Jordan. If he were a CEO, he’d be Steve Jobs. He was the ultimate in every category. What a lucky woman I was.

The man gawking at me, wondering what the hell was going on, made me feel like a woman who’d just met her prince charming.

“This is my business associate, Xander Blane.” Jackson introduced us with a chuckle.

“Hello.” I spoke in a bare whisper, hoping my husband would find tonight to be a humorous recreation of our past.

As if he remembered every last detail of that first night, Xander nodded his head and put out his hand for me. What I was supposed to do with his hand? Would I play the simpering virgin or should I be bold and hold onto him for the next seventy years? I chose to play the young, naïve college student. I spied a small grin as he placed his hand on the small of my back and led me to my seat.

 

*******

What the hell was going on? I dreaded this dinner with a passion, wanting nothing to do with this man, his young bride, and this dining hall that gave me the creeps. When Jackson mentioned meeting here, I almost balked. However, business was business, and I decided to be professional.

I was relieved to see that the wife hadn’t shown. Our talks went so smoothly, I thought maybe I could leave early after only having had drinks. Wrong! What happened next blew my mind.

Jackson suddenly stood up mid-conversation, so I decided to follow.

“Xander?” he called.

I looked up and that’s when I saw her. She would forever be that sweet girl who stood up to an asshole of a dinner date. Tonight, as always, she was everything I wished for in a woman.

Stunning.

Exotic.

Graceful.

Alluring.

Exquisite.

My goddess was alarming. As it did daily, every part of my body stood tall to meet and greet her. Once upon a time, I didn’t believe in shit like love at first sight, but I knew that first night was it for me. Like a sixteen-year-old, I could feel my heart beating faster, my palms getting sweatier, and my body humming to the excitement of saying hello. Even after all this time, she still did it for me and would for the next seventy years.

My wife had the innocence of Audrey Hepburn, and the sex-appeal of Marilyn Monroe.

When we first met, she was a girl. She looked no older than twenty-one, a decade my junior. As I continued to stare, I realized that we were being introduced and it was my turn to make the next move. Putting all this horny teenage bullshit behind me, I walked over to meet my “date.”

“Jenna,” Jackson introduced us with a grin, “This is Xander.”

“Hello.” Her voice was as soft as her skin. I knew I was getting lucky tonight.

As I stared at my wife’s exotic looks, I thanked the Lord above that our daughter looked like her beautiful mother. Part-English, part-Asian, part-American, and part-Israeli—there was no better combination. This night just turned out to be the best night yet.

I placed my hand out for this Jenna who so shyly said hello. Staring at my hand, she inched her right hand forward, then brought it back to her side. I could see her mind churning, wondering how she was going to throw me off my grove. Not tonight, Dear Wife. We were heading back to our first night, to the exact memory that had been burned in my brain.

Taking charge, I placed my hand on her back and led her to her seat. She tensed the moment I touched her. Her taut body was an electric charge to my own. I loved that with every touch we had fierce chemistry. For the rest of our lives, we’d have this magnetic pull.

“Miss? May I offer you some champagne?” the waiter asked.

She politely said no, but I chose to take two glasses on our behalf. “I assume you’re old enough to drink champagne?” I challenged by sliding the alcohol in front of her just like I’d done so many years ago.

She nodded and answered, “The maître d’ carded me before I was allowed in.” She’d remembered her original line, too. “Though I can’t drink tonight, and maybe for the next eight months, I’m hoping I get to eat an entire meal at this fancy place. I was told they make a mean dessert here.”

This was where I was rewriting history. “Jackson, Katie-Rose, it was wonderful seeing you again, but my wife and I will be heading out. Can we reschedule this meeting?”

“Of course.” Jackson had mellowed with age and a younger wife.

“Thank you for everything,” my wife said to the couple. “Bye.”

Before we headed out, I took my bride to the infamous bathroom. Both times she went in there, we did not have good results. Tonight, it was all about to change.

“What’s that?” she asked knowing full well what it was.

“I bought a three-pack earlier and have been carrying this in my pocket all day. I was damn nervous it might fall out. I can’t stand the wait. Please, Jenna.”

She knew what I wanted. After a peck on my lips, she was ready to relieve our curiosity.

 

*******

After doing as Xander asked, I went outside to my husband who waited impatiently against the wall.

“Well?” he asked.

“I thought you might want to see the results together.”

Immediately, he took the stick from me and we both witnessed the + sign. We were having another baby!

“I’m sorry for intruding on your date,” I went back to role-playing mode, “but I thought I’d inform you that I’m pregnant.” Xander’s grin was priceless. I guess I told him. “I don’t want anything less than a lifetime of happiness and a gaggle of kids from you.”

“How do I know it’s mine?” He was playing the asshole role—one he played so well for so many years.

If I was a good enough actress, I would’ve cried, yelled, screamed, and brought unwanted attention upon us. Instead, I laughed and said, “With all the times you’ve made love to me, I have no doubt he, she, it, they are all yours.”

“I’ll take every one of the little buggers you want to give me. Thank you, Jenna. Thank you for tonight, for erasing a god-awful memory, and for loving an asshole like me. There are ten-thousand reasons why you shouldn’t love me. Thank God you chose not to listen to any of them. I love you, Jenna.”

“And I love you, Xander.”