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MARIENNE
I stared up at Erik.
His tall, lean body was stiff with tension, and his arms were crossed over his chest. His whole frame, which had been such a comforting haven to me only a few short hours ago, was now as impenetrable as a brick wall.
Hopelessness threatened to crush me. I scrubbed the tears off my cheeks and whirled around, determined to put some distance between the two of us.
I took a few deep breaths to stop the panic from rising up and choking me.
If my fated mate truly didn’t want me...
Without Erik, my life would be pure loneliness.
My magic simmered in my veins, an ever-present reminder of the reason why I would always be an outcast. It was the one thing that truly set me apart from others. I’d spent my life gifted and cursed in equal measure.
I knew all the stories. Terrible things happened to sorcerers who were rejected by their mates because their magic could never be accepted. When I was a child, the villagers had whispered tales of madness and destruction wrought by those wielding magic when they had been abandoned by the ones who should have loved them.
I heard of sorceresses who flung themselves off high towers out of despair, or leveled entire towns with their magic. At best, if Erik fully rejected me, I could end up powerless. At worst, I could die.
Still, he had every reason to be upset.
I was hardly a desirable choice. Men had always lusted after my magic, but they feared it, too.
Whatever kindness Erik had shown me, it was clear he was no exception. He didn’t see me as a woman, a true partner. He just saw a powerful sorceress who could pose a threat to his reign.
To add insult to injury, I had been Magnik’s queen for years without ever conceiving a child. The castle physicians had all concluded I was barren.
Tears pricked my eyes. It was almost too much to bear.
But I couldn’t let his rejection overwhelm me. I had to focus. Erik, and his kingdom, needed help.
I steadied myself and turned around. Erik was watching me with an unreadable expression. I forced my features to remain neutral in the face of his indifference. Internally, my heart was close to breaking.
“King Damon.” I circled the table, drawing closer to Erik. “There’s no time to waste.”
It didn’t matter how he felt about me right now. I could tell he was still angry, but we had to put aside our differences. We were still allies, first and foremost.
I might not be the queen any longer, but this kingdom is mine as well as his.
He gave a short nod. “How much time do we have?”
I shrugged. “I’m afraid the visions aren’t precise. But...” I bit my lip, thinking hard. “It was snowing pretty heavily, which means it will still be winter when they attack.”
“Very soon, then.” He furrowed his brow as he leaned over the desk, sweeping papers and books aside. “The northern territories are three days’ journey from here, correct?”
I adjusted to the swift change of tone in our conversation. He was addressing me in short, clipped phrases, like I was a member of his council.
Very well. I could keep this meeting professional. Maybe he would even let me stay in the castle, in my suite. Could I learn to live like that, knowing my fated mate was so close by?
Sooner or later, he would take a wife. And on that day, my heart would truly break.
I inclined my head. “By carriage ride, yes.” I looked away, shamefaced. “It would be much faster to fly, but... I have no shifting ability, sire.”
“Really?” he asked, his eyebrows lifting high on his forehead.
“It’s the price of my magic.” I shrugged. “You can’t miss something you never had.”
He opened his mouth, then closed it again.
“I could carry you,” he said. “As long as we keep you warm enough.”
I shook my head again. “Damon’s mountains are dangerously cold. I’m not sure I would survive a long flight in that weather.” Even with my magic to keep me warm. “Plus, it may be smarter to move with stealth. We would not be inconspicuous if we arrived by flight. Your dragon would be too obvious.”
Erik nodded slowly, as though thinking over my words.
“I will lead an expedition to the northern territories.” He stood upright, his jaw set and his eyes firm. “We’ll gather what intel we can, and then go from there.”
A flush of warmth rose in my chest as I looked at him. This man was a natural-born leader. He would make a wonderful king.
“Okay.” I lifted my chin, meeting his gaze with more confidence than I felt. “When do we leave?”
Confusion filled his expression. “What?”
I tilted my head. “Sooner rather than later, I should think. Today, or tomorrow?”
“Marienne...” He shook his head at me. A frown fell over his face. “You can’t really want to come with me, surely? It’s too dangerous.”
I bristled. “Excuse me?”
He swept a hand over his face, his features wrinkling as if with stress.
“It’s the far north, Marienne! We don’t know what we’re up against yet, what kind of danger could be waiting for us. I’m not putting you—I mean...” He shook his head. “Thank you for your help, but I can take it from here.”
Ugh!
“Erik.” I fought to keep my voice steady. “I’m a sorceress. I can take care of myself perfectly well, I assure you.”
“I don’t doubt it,” he replied, sounding frustrated. “Are you always this stubborn?”
I stared at him, saying nothing. A confusing mixture of pleasure and irritation flooded through me when I locked eyes with him. I stayed cool; patient. He clenched his jaw, his gaze heated.
I held on until he gave a huff of defeat and threw up his hands, glaring at the opposite wall.
“Fine,” he muttered.
“Fine,” I echoed, pleased. It looked like I had won that round.
So what if he didn’t want me for a wife? I could be useful to him in other ways.
I ignored the stab of pain at the thought that I would serve this king just as I had my late husband—as a tool to further the betterment of the kingdom. Nothing more.
Erik stalked out of the room. I watched him leave in my peripheral vision. Presumably, he was off to find somewhere to brood until it was time to leave. I sighed internally and sank down into the nearest chair. My victory lasted all of ten seconds, before it occurred to me precisely what I’d signed up for: a carriage journey across a frozen tundra. Alone, for days on end, with the man I craved with every fiber of my being.
This should be interesting.
***
ERIK
Stavrok –
I have reason to believe that my clan is in grave danger. Marienne had a vision: our castle burning, our people dead in the streets. She believes that King Damon is planning an attack. Whatever we discover, I’m sure you can appreciate the urgency of the situation. I’m determined to get to the heart of it; otherwise, I’m afraid my reign might be over before it has even started.
Marienne and I are travelling north to assess the situation. We want to scout Damon’s kingdom before taking any action. I have instructed Magnik’s army—my army—to remain on standby until our return.
This isn’t your fight. But if you meant what you said the last time we met—about our alliance—I thought it best that you know what’s coming.
I pray we meet again under better circumstances.
Erik
Conscious of our time constraints, I’d written the letter while sitting in the carriage, so the handwriting wasn’t great, but I think I got the message across.
I scanned the letter several times until I was satisfied that I’d said everything I wanted. With a grunt, I pulled the signet ring off my finger and pressed it into the inkpad that lay beside the paper. My signature was marked with my family seal, the royal crest emblazoned on the thick parchment.
The ring was a heavy, silver thing. It had been Magnik’s, and my father’s before him. And his father’s. And on and on.
In moments of boredom or distraction I often found myself twisting it back and forth, uncomfortable with its presence on my finger. After stamping the letter, I wiped the ink off the ring and slipped it back on, making a fist while I waited for the bright ink to dry.
Then I folded the letter into quarters and rapped on the closed carriage door. The door opened, and my butler Thomas hovered outside. “Sire?”
I placed the letter into his hand. “See that this gets to Stavrok,” I said, and he gave a short nod.
The cold blast of air into the carriage made a shiver run down my spine, and I yanked the door closed again.
The wind was picking up in earnest, and I wanted to get as far as possible before nightfall. I rapped on the roof of the carriage, and the driver shouted a reply. The horses whinnied as the wheels began to turn, and soon we were well on our way, trundling through the castle grounds at speed.
We had a procession behind us. A sleigh with our possessions and two additional carriages for my men. A small contingent of my army.
I chanced a glance at the seat opposite me.
Marienne sat with her hands folded in her lap. She was staring out at the changing scenery as it passed: dark mountains, trees, the small twinkling lights of the town below us. We weren’t going that way, however; we were taking the road that wound up the rockface. The track was narrow and uneven, seldom used by travelers. It wasn’t well-maintained, and the carriage wheels jolted over every pothole and lump of gravel.
Perhaps the kingdom should have paid to repair this road, rather than furnish gold chains around the elders’ necks.
Marienne didn’t seem uncomfortable to be sharing a carriage in dead silence. Her face appeared smooth and peaceful.
I left her alone with her thoughts. I couldn’t think what to say.
An apology might be a good start.
A guilty prickle traveled up the back of my neck. It wasn’t her fault she was saddled with me, after all.
The carriage was silent save for the whistling wind and the occasional distant rockfall. Unable to help myself, I continued to steal glances at her. Something in my chest tightened when my eyes tracked over her long, black hair. It was glossy, and looked almost blue in the shadows, like raven’s wings. I remembered how soft it was to touch. A lock fell over her face, framing her jewel-bright eyes.
“Can I help you?”
Her voice startled me, and my cheeks heated with the realization I’d been caught out. I was too dazed to think up a good excuse. “I was just... hoping you packed for the weather.”
I gestured lamely to the white skin showing above her low-necked blouse. She arched a delicate eyebrow, and I huffed, looking away.
What was I doing? We were going to be stuck like this for days.
Still, I was struck with a desire to fill the silence. If we couldn’t be civil, we could at least use this time to talk tactics.
“We should be smart about this.” I ran a hand over my jaw and noted absently that her eyes tracked the movement. “There’s no point going in half-cocked. Just in case your visions...”
“They’re not wrong,” she snapped. “I know what I saw.”
“I’m not saying they’re wrong,” I said, before brushing a hand through my hair. “We are mounting this expedition up north based on your visions, after all.”
Her lips pressed together, before she finally nodded. “All right. I’ll give you that.”
“Look,” I said. “There’s too much at stake here—”
“You think I don’t know what’s at stake? If we don’t act now, it will be too late!”
“Unless we get the full picture, we won’t even know who our enemy is!” I growled, narrowing my eyes.
Opposite me, Marienne mirrored my posture. We both leaned in close, getting right into each other’s space. The air between us simmered with heat.
Outside, the wind picked up. It was howling now, and large white flakes thudded against the glass of the carriage windows, building a thick white layer over the ledge. Snarling, I yanked the velvet curtain across the window to keep in some of the heat. Marienne’s flimsy sleeves didn’t look like they would provide much protection.
We lapsed back into prickly silence.
The carriage thundered on for a few more miles. The sky outside was dark with snowfall, and I found myself worrying about the remainder of the journey.
I’d never traveled so far north before. I’d heard tales, of course, but I had no idea what to expect.
Ravenous wolves. Frostbite, culminating in a slow, icy death.
Death at the end of a thick iron broadsword.
I wasn’t afraid for myself as much as the woman sitting opposite me. Though we were now merely allies—and even that label seemed to be hanging by a thread—the thought that I was unknowingly leading her into danger was too much to bear.
For all I knew, we were playing right into Damon’s hands.
The carriage wheels ground to a halt, wrenching me from my thoughts. I made eye contact with Marienne when she looked up at the delay. Our gazes darted away from each other, but it was clear her puzzlement equaled mine.
Why have we stopped?
The plan was to travel until we lost the daylight, then make camp. Unless...
I knocked a couple of times on the roof of the carriage, then slid over and opened the door a crack. The blizzard outside raged and a few stray snowflakes snuck through the gap. I craned my neck, squinting up at the driver. He dismounted and hurried toward the horses.
I called out to him. “What’s going on?”
“The carriage won’t make it any further in this, sire.” He indicated the snow that was piling up against the wheels. “I’m afraid you and the queen will have to travel to your camp another way.”
My alarm increased with every word he spoke. “What do you mean, another way?”
“The wheels won’t make it through the pass in these conditions. You’ll have to make the rest of the journey by sleigh.”
Through the swirling whiteness that half-blinded me, I looked in the direction he was pointing. The snow was getting deeper by the minute.
Behind us, the small retinue of men that had followed us in a second and third carriage, began unfastening the ropes of the sleigh that carried our meager belongings behind the procession. The horses were led around and harnessed to the sleigh, and I glared out at the howling wilderness before ducking my head back into the carriage.
My eyes widened. From somewhere, Marienne had produced a thick cloak with a high fur collar, complete with a muff. She drew the garments around her small frame and gave me a short nod.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I murmured. “You could still turn back.”
She shook her head. Her eyes betrayed no hint of nervousness, but her face was paler than usual. Without thinking, I reached out and took the small hand that extended from her thick cloak. She clutched at me tightly, betraying her concern as clearly as her pale cheeks.
Without another word, I led us out into the storm.
***
MARIENNE
The snow outside fell continuously. I pressed myself up against Erik’s side, using his body to shield myself from the worst of the wind as we hurried toward the sleigh.
The conveyance was much smaller than our carriage, but the men had lit the lanterns that hung inside the compartment, giving it a coziness that I gravitated toward.
Golden light spilled out over the snowdrift when Erik opened the door of the sleigh carriage. His hands found my waist, boosting me up, and I clambered inside, glad to be out of the elements.
Erik lingered outside. I listened to him exchange a few words with the men in a low, urgent voice, and then he slipped in behind me and fastened the door.
The crimson cushions inside were comfortable enough, but I came to the awkward realization we would have to share the bench. It was about the size of a loveseat, and Erik’s large frame crowded up against mine no matter how we positioned ourselves.
He grunted, and his large hands curled around the horses’ reins. He gave them a sharp tug and we were on the move once more.
“The men will rejoin us once the snow starts easing up,” Erik muttered. He stared ahead, his jaw tight and his eyes like flint.
We traveled in silence. Dark, craggy rocks loomed on either side as we approached the pass, and I shivered, grateful for my thick furs.
He huffed, eyes flicking over my form. “Are you cold?”
I shook my head. The little nook had already warmed up due to our shared body heat.
Erik didn’t say anything. His eyes were fixed on the road ahead, but I thought I felt him press a little closer.
“You keep asking me that,” I whispered, eventually. I couldn’t help myself. Despite his obvious lack of interest in me, he still showed the decency to ask if I was all right. “No one ever asked me things like that before you came along.”
He shifted in his seat. “It’s common courtesy.”
“Well, I’ve lived a very uncommon life.” My voice was soft, quiet, but I got the sense that he was hanging on every word. As if he cared.
“Yeah?”
“I’m not used to people asking about me,” I said. “Usually, they want something from me. Magnik...”
His name hung in the air between us. I gave a deep sigh, relaxing into the cushions and the warmth of Erik’s body.
“I was useful to him.” I bit my lip. “But he never trusted me. Not completely. Even when I was a girl, the townsfolk always knew that I... I was... different.”
Erik was silent. My heart thudded in my chest. Had I read the situation wrong? Then he reached out, and I found myself lifted and rearranged, so my back pressed against his torso, firm even through all the layers separating us. He tucked his huge arms around me, taking the reins up in his free hand.
“Well, then.” He gave my shoulders a gentle squeeze. “I guess we have that in common, Your Majesty.”
The tension that had built up between us started to thaw.
Your Majesty.
That title again, which he had said so scornfully the day before... now, it fell from his lips like a pet name.
Something shifted. Despite the storm, and the great, shadowy unknown that loomed from the other side of the mountain range, I felt a kernel of warmth spark inside my chest.
Lulled by the rhythmic sway of the sleigh ride, the thump of Erik’s heart beneath my ear, and the whistle of the wind outside, I drifted off into sleep.
***
I WOKE TO ERIK’S MURMURING voice. My face was pressed against something firm and warm, and I curved in closer, sighing happily.
Once I realized what I was doing in my half-conscious state, I froze.
Blinking rapidly, I withdrew, brushing my tangled hair off my cheeks. The sleigh had stopped moving and Erik turned to me. A smile lingered at the corners of his mouth.
“Ah, Sleeping Beauty is back with us.”
I scowled and rubbed at my eyes, straightening up. “How long was I out?”
“About thirty minutes.” He paused, his eyes lingering over my face. “We’ve made it to camp.”
Camp, I deduced, as I peered out of the window, was a small log cabin built into the mountainside. The snow had thankfully stopped for the time being, but it was over a foot deep in some places.
Erik held out his arms. “I’ll carry you, if you wish. It’ll save you from getting those dainty little shoes of yours damp.”
I shook my head, cheeks heating up. “I’m sure I’ll manage.”
With a boyish grin, he flung open the door and pulled me out of the sleigh, his large hands curving around my waist. Before I could protest, he threw me over one shoulder and began wading through the snow toward the cabin.
“Erik!” I closed my fingers around the hair at the nape of his neck, and gave it a sharp tug to express my displeasure.
He let out a yelp before bursting into laughter.
Despite the depth of the snow, Erik got the door to the cabin open, and we tumbled through the doorway in a flurry of snow and tangled limbs. I righted myself and gave him a shove, and he held his hands up, still smiling at me with that crooked, unrepentant smile of his.
“See, your feet are still dry!” He pointed down, and I huffed, unable to deny that he was right. “I’ll see to the horses and get them under shelter, and then let’s get this place warmed up, shall we?”
While he strode off, I took stock of our surroundings.
The cabin was a simple, one room dwelling, with an adjoining bathroom, and a lean-to at the side where Erik would presumably lead the horses.
A heavy iron stove crouched in the corner, and snowshoes hung in the rafters over the one tiny bed.
Hanging in the corner was a rough-hewn, wooden cradle. I kept away from it, focusing my attention on the narrow bed and the rocking chair with the patchwork quilt thrown over it.
When Erik returned with kindling, he quickly started a fire for the stove while I set one in the hearth. In no time, the room began to warm up.
“Erik?”
“Hmm?”
I turned from the fireplace to see him poking at the stove, which now flickered and glowed. He handed me a piece of bread and I took it.
“Whoever chose this place didn’t think very hard about our sleeping arrangements,” I said wryly.
His eyes followed my gaze to the tiny bed. It was barely big enough for one person, let alone someone of Erik’s size.
He chewed on his piece of bread for a beat or two, before swallowing. “I’ll take the chair.”
“Oh.” Something inside my chest curled. “No. It’s... You can’t...”
There was that crooked grin again. The one that made my heart turn over in my chest.
“Marienne.” He reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. “It’s not a discussion.”
We stared at each other.
Eventually, I sighed. “Very well.”
We ate in companionable silence, positioned close to the stove. Erik even made me a hot coffee, which warmed me as we sat there. The crackling logs filled the cabin with a smoky smell, and I relaxed into it.
How was it that here, in the middle of nowhere with a man I barely knew, I felt safer than I had in... forever?
I laughed when Erik gathered up the quilt and draped it around his shoulders, posing in a mock-heroic stance, his arms crossed over his broad chest.
“Your Highness.” I bowed low, accepting his outstretched hand.
He pressed a kiss to the back of my knuckles. For a moment, I forgot we were play-acting, and my breath caught as his mouth touched my skin.
He dropped my hand, and the laughter died from his eyes as he slumped back into the chair. I perched on the end of the bed, studying him. In the low light, all traces of the stoic warrior I had traveled with vanished. He looked like the young man he was, his hair rumpled, his shoulders set with unease.
“What you said earlier...” He looked up at me, and my gaze dropped. “About growing up... It was like that for me, too. I was always the strongest. The first boy my age to shift. My village didn’t know who I truly was, but they could tell I was different.”
“It wasn’t right,” I whispered. “Your father should have raised you in the castle. You were his son, his blood. It was your birthright.”
He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. “If that were the case, Magnik wouldn’t have allowed me to live.”
As much as I hated hearing that, I knew he was likely right.
His eyes met mine, his gaze lit by and reflecting the heat of the flames. “All I’m saying is, I know how it feels, Mari. To be misunderstood. To have people look at you like...”
He waved a hand. He called me Mari. I liked the sound of the nickname Lucy had given me, on Erik’s lips. I smiled at him, and finished the sentence he’d started.
“Like you’re a powder keg waiting to explode?”
He looked at me sharply. “Exactly.” His serious expression melted away.
“I guess it’s about finding the balance, right?” I wrapped my hands around the warm mug, breathing in the steam.
“How do you mean?”
“Well...” I paused, listening to the fire crackle. “I’m a sorceress, but I’m also a woman.”
His eyes flickered over my face. I saw what he was imagining clear enough, and a heat rose in my cheeks.
“I don’t mean like that. I just mean...” I bit my lip. “My power doesn’t mean I’m some kind of heartless force. It’s part of me, but I’m not driven by it. I want things just like any other woman. Love, companionship...”
Children. I trailed off once I realized what I was about to admit.
Erik gazed at me, his expression unreadable. I shook my head, letting the hair fall over my face to hide my blush.
“The way I see it, your shifter is the same as my magic.” I inhaled deeply, breathing in the intoxicating combination of woodsmoke and the heady scent of Erik next to me. “It’s part of you, so close that you couldn’t imagine life without it. But... you’re more than just the dragon, Erik. And I’m so much more than my magic.”
He huffed, dropping his head down. My eyes traced over the broad span of his shoulders. In the firelight, the muscles in his back were particularly defined; they showed through his thin undershirt in a manner I found distracting.
“Never thought that you and I could have so much in common.” He lifted his head and stared at me. My breath hitched at the look in his eyes.
I wanted him so badly. It would be easy, too easy, to lean in and kiss him.
But I had to respect his wishes. The bond between us was undeniable, but I could ignore it. I had to. I couldn’t tempt him into losing control again, no matter how hungrily he was gazing at me.
“I guess there’s a lot we don’t know about each other,” I said eventually, glancing up at him through my eyelashes.
“I guess so.”
We laughed a little, our eyes lingering over each other, soft and warm. Heat coiled in my stomach.
It was a far cry from where we had started out that morning. Being away from the castle changed everything. All the tension and insecurity had fallen away, dropped somewhere along the road that lay behind us.
In some ways, I wanted it to go on like this forever.
Nevertheless, I couldn’t suppress a yawn when it came. I pressed the back of my hand against my open mouth, but Erik wasn’t fooled. His voice softened, low and quiet against the roar of the wind outside.
“You should get some rest.”
I got up and lit the lantern, then carried it to the bedside. “You’re sure you don’t want to take the bed?”
He shrugged the quilt over his shoulders and nodded. “I’m used to roughing it, Majesty. Besides, I wouldn’t fit in that thing in a million years.”
I shook my head at him, but I couldn’t argue with his logic. The bed was pretty small.
I slipped out of my shoes and pulled my long stockings down, folding them neatly and hanging them over the foot of the bed. Erik turned his face away, staring at the flames: ridiculous behavior, given the fact that he’d seen everything already.
I slid between the sheets, too tired to bother with nightclothes. I curled up on my side, my mind drifting already.
I studied his large frame in silhouette against the glow from the stove. It made for a comforting picture. The image of Erik grew more and more hazy as my eyelids fought to stay open. I was exhausted, but I didn’t care.
Now that he was in my life, I wanted to look at him for as long as possible.
It was stupid, and irrational, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that, if I closed my eyes and fell asleep, he might disappear forever.