March, 2011 - Lauren
With the funeral planned in advance, there wasn’t much to do for the first few days except spend time together. Mark had gone downhill fast, but once the reality of the situation sunk in, they had all worked together to make sure his send-off would be how he wanted it.
Cassie, Sophie and Lauren all leaned on each other heavily in those early days. The days without Mark.
Lauren stayed at Cassie's place with the others. They didn't talk about her going home to the house she’d shared for so many years with Mark. Reminders of him were everywhere, though, and the pain she felt for his loss was so great that it seemed overwhelming. All she wanted to do was bury herself in a bottle of vodka.
Somehow, she kept it together. Patrick was a godsend, running errands for them all as they tried to break free of the fog that descended on their lives. Mark was everything to all of them, and without him, life just seemed empty.
Watching Sophie was the hardest part. Cassie was devastated, but held it together most of the time for her daughter. Sophie didn't know how to deal with it. The last person in her life who had died was Cassie's grandmother, and she’d been small when that had happened.
Now, the man she considered a father was dead, and the grief was overwhelming her. She spent her time between her mother and Lauren seeking the comfort that she needed. Both women were only too happy to take care of her, and Lauren found distraction in caring for someone else.
Somehow her impulsive, irresponsible brother had managed to get himself together for a real relationship with Cassie. If they had ever had a cross word between them, Lauren had never heard it. Although, she was sure Cassie had had plenty to complain about over the years.
She ached for the family she’d never had. Now thirty-five, she'd drifted from relationship to relationship. When Mark had found Cassie, it had given her hope for her own love life. Nothing had come to be.
Time was running out for her to have a family of her own. Her dream of holding a baby, fathered by a man she loved was fading. She was alone.
Flowers and sympathy cards arrived from all over the place. Mark had made so many friends over the years, and he'd been so loveable that even people they barely knew sent their condolences.
She was touched to see the lilies that Patrick's friend Ethan had sent. Patrick had been surprised to see them, but it was clear to Lauren that he'd hurt from Mark's death to have spoken to his friend about him. He was grieving too.
Somehow she got to the day of the funeral without a drink. To get one, she had to leave the house but that just seemed too hard. A few drinks might have solved everything.
Lauren sat in a daze, listening to the memories that Mark's friends had brought to the funeral. There were so many stories, and so much love in the room that day. She closed her eyes, letting the words roll over her and taking in the feeling.
Afterwards, she went outside for some fresh air. She could see someone across the car park, looking at the funeral home. As Lauren drew closer, she realised it was Jess.
The domestic bliss Mark had found with Cassie didn't compare to the relationship he'd had with Jess. Lauren understood the look on Jess's face though. She'd loved Mark in her own way.
"Jess?"
Jess looked up at Lauren, eyes red from crying.
"So it's true."
"About Mark? Yeah."
Jess shook her head. "I saw the death notice. I hoped it was some sort of coincidence. I've not spoken to Mark or any of his friends for so long. When I saw you going in, I knew."
"You didn't want to go in for the service? It was really lovely. So many people had good memories of him."
"Was he happy in the end?"
Lauren smiled. "Very. He fell in love, and was very settled."
"I could never give him that. We were always so screwed up."
"Cassie's great. I'm sure you would be welcome to come in and mingle. There will be some familiar faces in there."
Jess looked at her sulkily. "You're being very nice to me. I know you never liked me."
"I didn't like you with Mark. You were no good for each other. Today of all days I'm not going to pick a fight with anyone."
"I'm not going to come in. If he had a partner, this is for her to mourn him. I'll say goodbye in my own way."
“No problem. You know, Mark did love you, in a way. He was just never very good with love."
She smiled. "Sounds like he just needed to meet the right person."
Lauren watched as Jess walked away. Part of her was glad the woman hadn't taken up her invitation. Another part of her felt sorry as Jess had meant a lot to Mark at one stage in his life. They'd spent three years together in an on-again, off-again, screwed-up relationship that ultimately made them both miserable.
She was glad he had found Cassie.