March, 2012 - Lauren
A year without Mark. One whole year of not hearing him tell her off, not having him around to support her, not being there to laugh with her. Nothing and no one could ever fill the hole Mark's death had left in Lauren's life. At least, that's how she felt.
She could barely remember the sound of his voice, the comfort of his hugs, the knowledge that no matter what, he was there for her, as her brother and her friend.
Cassie was distant, and Lauren understood her feeling of loss more than anyone else. She'd barely seen her in the past year, both of them too caught up in their own personal grieving to deal with anyone else's. She was more empty than ever before as she struggled to get her own life back on track.
Mark wouldn't want you falling apart.
There had been guys along the way. Sometimes a night of companionship was better than being alone. Not that she wanted to let anyone into her heart now; they always left her. She had nothing left in her to give to anyone else.
Leah tried her best to show support, but her idea of support was to go out and get drunk and laid. Not even that kept Lauren's spirits up anymore, and most times she curled up at home with a bottle of vodka to forget about everything. Sometimes, it even worked.
Somewhere out there was Patrick. He was in love with Cassie, and she was sure he was biding his time until Cassie was ready to be with him again. They had spent Sophie’s birthday together. Lauren’s memory was foggy as she’d been at a party before going to Cassie’s place, but she remembered enough that they had been acting as a team, making her promise to ease up on the drinking.
That was months ago, and she’d buried herself in drink often since then.
He'd been nothing but compassionate with Mark, even befriending him as he went downhill. Lauren would always be grateful for the care Patrick had taken with him. Mark's sudden illness had left him alone when his friends couldn't cope with the loss of the loving, generous man that he was.
Of course, they'd all turned up for the funeral, telling stories about the man they all loved. Loved until he was ill and they couldn't cope. Afterwards, Lauren stayed away from all of them, knowing what they'd done. Deserted her beloved brother.
I hate being alone.
She'd promised Cassie she'd ease up on the alcohol more than once now, always intending to keep her word and failing. A year of broken promises, of lying about how bad things really were.
On the anniversary of Mark's death, the headstone had been laid. That was the last day she had any real hope of attracting Patrick's attention, and the day it really sunk in that he loved Cassie. He'd come down to stay with her, and was attentive and caring throughout the ceremony and into the evening afterwards. His sole focus was on her, and when they were gone back to Cassie's for the night, Lauren had drunk more than she had in a long time.
Surrounded by the people she hated for deserting Mark, she drowned her sorrows.
A house full of people, but Lauren was more alone than ever.