CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

Jake turned on his GPS as he neared Deep Creek Lake. He’d never been here, but he’d heard it was nice.

As he approached the cabin, he could hardly believe his eyes. The cabin was a house—a great big house, at that. The home had to be at least six thousand square feet of varied angles, natural wood, and acres of glass. With three decks on different levels, an in-ground pool, and a large expanse of waterfront, the vacation house had to be worth a mint. He wished he were driving a better vehicle. His modest car seemed out of place in the posh, secluded neighborhood.

He threw his duffle bag over his shoulder and tugged the house key from his pocket before mounting a wide, impressive flight of stone steps to the door. Gee, just how much money did Victoria’s mother have?

The key opened the lock with a muffled click. He slipped inside, through the massive foyer, and into an impressive great room. The house was fully furnished with tasteful and, without a doubt, expensive furniture. Tossing his bag onto the olive-colored leather couch, he sauntered to a wall of French glass doors. Walking out onto an expansive wraparound deck, he admired the panoramic view. A sweeping lawn of overgrown weeds sloped down to the lake, where a small dock jutted into the water. Huge trees surrounded the property and added to the peaceful sense of privacy. In the distance on both sides stood a couple of other houses, but they were hard to spot through the leaves on the trees. Wow. What a beautiful place. No wonder Victoria had loved coming here.

A number of chairs—minus the cushions—were scattered around the deck, and Jake took a seat on the one with the best view of the water. He was glad he’d come. He needed to be here. It was way past time.

He sat for a while and enjoyed the display of evening sun glinting on the lake. A year and a half ago, the house had been an early wedding present to Victoria from her mother. The family had bought the house when she was a child, and it had held pleasant memories for her. She had told him how much she’d loved to sit on the dock and fix her eyes on the gently rippling water. The hushed stillness of the place had spoken to her, and she’d loved soaking up that serenity.

In one of Victoria’s rare unguarded moments, she’d shared the treasured holiday memories of when she and her mom would come to the lake. They’d been alone here most of the time. Her sister was already grown and gone, and her father rarely came to the house in the woods. He’d been too busy writing for the newspaper—or something. That had left the two of them, which suited her fine. No tension, no stress, no other people to bother them. Her mom would be inside working or maybe out on the deck writing some big, important research paper. Her mother didn’t care how Victoria filled her time, and for the most part, she was free to do what she liked.

Jake replayed a scene in his mind. They’d been eating dinner in her condo, and her father had made one of his infrequent phone calls. She’d taken the call in her bedroom while her pasta cooled and grew cold. When she finally returned, she sighed and said, “I wish I were back at the cabin where there are no expectations, no pressures, no busyness. Just sun, sand, and wildlife. It’s a very special place, Jake—quiet and peaceful—my own little world where I can rest.”

She’d grown quiet and pensive, even more so than usual, and he’d never learned what had upset her. He suspected it was just one in a long string of quarrels with her father, and she always seemed to come out the loser.

After her death, Jake received a letter from a lawyer. Victoria had named him in her will. He didn’t have a clue she’d even made a will. What twenty-eight year old had a will? He couldn’t imagine what she’d left him—she didn’t have much—but he showed up anyway for the reading. He’d have been glad to have whatever she’d wanted to leave him. Not surprisingly, her parents and sister were also in attendance.

First of all, the lawyer announced that Victoria had given Jake her beloved Lucy. It was somewhat funny in a way. He and Lucy weren’t the best of friends, but by that time, he’d decided to take the crazy cat anyway. For Lucy’s sake as well as his, it was best she stay with him. Interestingly, the Siamese cat had quite a pedigree and appeared to be feline “royalty,” going back many generations. Jake was astounded that the scrawny creature was worth over three grand. Who knew a Titian-haired, eight-pound cat could cost so much? But with an official name like “Lucille Ball ‘o Fun,” he guessed she’d been worth the price. He had gotten rather used to her.

He took pleasure in knowing Victoria had trusted him with the one thing that was most important to her. She’d been devoted to that cat, and she’d trusted him to take care of her darling. What he wished even more was that she’d had enough faith in him to marry him.

The reading of the will continued. Victoria had also left him an antique mirror that had belonged to her great-grandmother. Jake had always admired the century-old looking glass in her apartment. The mirror was oval shaped, crafted from polished mahogany, with beveled glass. He hung the mirror in his bedroom, glad that Victoria had known he would take good care of it.

The lawyer went down the list and distributed all of Victoria’s worldly possessions to her mother, father, and sister. Jake was staggered by many things. He’d had no idea she’d owned her condominium, that she’d amassed a substantial savings account, or that she’d acquired many thousands of dollars’ worth of stocks, bonds, and mutual funds. After all the time they’d spent together, it hurt to think she still hadn’t trusted him enough to share her life with him.

He was preparing to leave when the lawyer announced there was one more item to distribute. To his complete astonishment, Victoria had left him the “cabin” at 13279 Magnolia Terrace. The lake house was his, free and clear. Even the taxes had been paid for years to come.

At the time, he’d offered to give it back to Victoria’s mother. Since the gift of the house had been intended as a wedding present, and since he and Victoria had never tied the knot, he didn’t deserve it. An always generous Mrs. Selby had been adamant that he keep it. She’d insisted they honor Victoria’s wishes, and whatever her daughter wanted, Mrs. Selby wanted. Although it felt strange, Jake had taken the key and gone home. The key had sat unused and forgotten in his desk drawer ever since.

Now, he brooded on the vast deck to the mesmerizing hum of the cicadas. Had he ever really known the woman he’d been engaged to? She’d been full of secrets. Dare he think it? She’d been a woman of lies. Or perhaps what little she had given him was all the openness her damaged spirit could muster.

With an hour until sunset, Jake forced himself out of the chair. He was hungry, but more than that, he wanted some answers. He hopped into his car for a drive to clear his head.

On the way to the lake, Jake had passed a Chick-fil-A a few miles back. A chicken sandwich sounded good, and he couldn’t help but shake his head. The fast food place was one of the few where Victoria would consent to eat. She’d liked the grilled chicken sandwich, saying it was real food without a ton of calories. Victoria had known all about calories.

He yawned as he drove slowly, taking his time, perusing the peaceful wooded area. One didn’t need to be a genius to see why hordes of people came here in the summertime. He rubbed his eyes and yawned again. What a killer of a day, and it wasn’t over yet. He stopped by the side of the road and tried calling Didi, but she didn’t answer. He didn’t leave a message. He’d try again later. His stomach growled. Lunchtime was long passed. He spotted the restaurant and turned into the parking lot.

As he chewed on a waffle fry, his brain went over the accident yet again, trying in vain to make sense of it. At least a hundred times, he’d mulled over how Victoria had died. The envelope he’d brought with him, the one taken from his desk drawer, held the official police report with names, dates, locations, medical records, and information of all kinds. But facts were useless. They didn’t tell him what he needed to know. He knew the how, but he didn’t know the why. Victoria was gone either way, but the why gnawed at his soul.

After these many months, the worst part was still not knowing. How could he ever know for sure? He raked a hand through his hair, stared at the table, and prayed for answers. If God didn’t see fit to grant his plea, he prayed for the strength to accept the unanswered questions.

Since he’d come this far, he might as well go all the way. He grabbed his drink, trashed his half-eaten food, and strode back to his SUV. The scene of the accident was on the other side of the lake, so he’d better get going.

I want to see it for myself—no, I need to see it for myself. Maybe then he’d be able to let it go.

Jake turned right out of the Chick-fil-A parking lot and drove several miles past the turnoff for the house. Deep Creek Lake was the largest lake in Maryland, and he didn’t doubt it. The lake kept going and going. The next turn coming up was a left heading straight for the lake. This was it. Jake had found Lakeshore Drive. Victoria had died on this road.

Do I really want to know what happened? No, but I can’t live with myself if I don’t do all I can to find out.

A hundred yards before the turn was a sight so unexpected it left him stunned. A weathered but eye-catching sign the size of a billboard stood big as life. He coasted to a stop by the side of the road and read the words with disbelief.

Getting married? Let Morningstar Manor custom-design your fairytale wedding. Come see why we’re the premiere party facility in western Maryland...and beyond. Make a left on Lakeshore & continue .6 miles to Morningstar Road.

Had Victoria been going to Morningstar Manor? It didn’t make any sense. She’d left him the note saying the wedding was off. There was no way to mistake the meaning of the words, I can’t marry you. And the implication of have to end this was clear. He gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He read the advertisement again. The police report had failed to reference the road sign. But then, why would it?

In a fog, he made the turn onto Lakeshore Drive and drove on. After a short distance, the lane sloped down steeply toward the lake. Way down at the very bottom of the hill, the intersection of Morningstar Road was visible. Something else caught his attention at the bottom of the incline. Straight ahead at the base of the hill was a tree. The tree. The one that had ended Victoria’s life.

The huge oak tree was the largest he’d ever seen. If Victoria had taken the road too fast…if she’d skidded on a patch of ice…if she’d tried to turn too fast onto Morningstar Road…if, if, if. It had been a frigid February day. Snow was a given in February, especially in the mountains, and the police report had mentioned sheets of ice on the road. Victoria’s death could have been an accident.

Maybe she’d changed her mind. Maybe she’d thought things over. Maybe she’d wanted to have her fairytale wedding. Maybe she’d wanted to live. Jake’s heart raced at the thought.

He turned away from the tree and made a left onto Morningstar Road. Here, miles from home, twilight fell on a lovely May evening, and there was a party going on at the Manor. He parked at the back edge of the lot and drank in the scene just like a benevolent peeping Tom. He didn’t know the wedding guests, but he didn’t think they’d mind him taking part in their happiness.

He drank in the sight of a replica of a grand Southern mansion down near the water. Graceful Doric columns gave the structure a stately elegance, and dozens of people danced behind brightly lit windows. A flagstone patio spilled from the side porch, covered by a pergola strung with tiny white lights. From the porch, wide steps led down to the edge of the lake, enticing couples to walk hand in hand on the beach. A young bride and groom dressed in wedding finery posed for pictures, gazing at each other with stars in their eyes.

This would have been a beautiful place to get married. The ambiance, and doubtless the price, seemed like something of which the Selby family would have approved. The wedding guests sashayed across the broad terrace, drinks and hors d’oeuvres in hand, smiles on faces, laughter rising in the air.

Had Victoria ever been here? Had her curiosity been piqued by the sign, or had she known about this place for years? Had she driven here, imagining what a wedding would be like in this magical place? Jake had come to Deep Creek Lake hoping to find answers. In the end, maybe she’d decided life was worth living and she’d wanted to marry him after all. He would never know for sure, but with God’s help, he could live with that.

As he continued to steep in the surrounding joy, Jake’s mind turned toward Didi. The more time he spent with her, the more he wanted her with him for the rest of his life. He looked forward to their lengthy conversations. He doubted he could go a day without the lilting sound of her voice. When he wasn’t with her, she traipsed through his mind nonstop and he longed to be by her side. Sometimes, he marveled that he’d been in love with her the moment he’d first kissed her. He was drawn to her like Bogie was drawn to Bacall.

She was very different from Victoria. Didi was sunshine where Victoria was sadness. Didi was depth and substance. Victoria had been clouds and vapor. For Didi, the glass wasn’t half full. It was filled to the brim. For Victoria, sadly, the cup had often been empty. Jake had loved many things about her, but she’d never been a truly happy person.

As he observed the blissful couple dancing on the patio, he had his reservations as to whether what he’d had with Victoria had been the marrying kind of love. After his father had taken off, he’d become the man of the family. From an early age, he’d grown up watching out for his mother and kid sister. Had he been doing the same thing with his fragile fiancée? Victoria had been so easily battered and broken he’d done his best to protect her from the world. He’d loved her, but pitying someone was a poor basis for marriage.

He sat back and sipped his soda. What would life be like with Didi? It was too soon to consider marriage, but he wanted a real partner for a wife. He wanted a friend and a lover—a companion and passionate embraces. He wanted to spend his life with a woman he loved and cherished. Jake wanted a woman who made him laugh and think and feel.

Jake wanted Didi.

Pulling out his phone, he called her again. He wanted to tell her the news about his discovery. He could let go and start fresh. Like no one else in this world, she would understand how important this moment was to him. But her phone went to voicemail.

Jake sighed and waited for the beep. “Hi, honey. Sorry I missed you. You’ll never believe where I am, but I’ll explain it all to you tomorrow. Mostly, I wanted to tell you I love you, and I’m thinking of you. I’ll call you when I get back, okay? Bye.”

He drove back to the lake house as the sun descended below the horizon. He was glad he’d remembered the flashlight. The electricity in the house had been turned off long ago.

The lounge chair on the deck called to him. The sun dipped into the water. With eager anticipation, he waited. Tonight, he wanted to gaze at the sky and see what twilight blue looked like. Warmth enveloped him as he imagined Didi as a happy little girl, communing with her father on their deck. She’d been right. There was something indefinably magical about the rich blue sky at this glorious moment of the day.

Jake gazed at the full moon rising. He spent time pondering his future and came to some decisions. It was restful here, and he yawned with contented exhaustion. At around ten, he dozed, head back, long legs stretched out on a footrest. Sometime after midnight, he loped back inside, collapsing in his clothes on the sumptuous sofa. Before he fell asleep again, he reached for his phone to check the time. Shoot. He’d left it in the SUV.

No matter. No one would call him at this time of night except maybe Didi, and he’d left her a message. The couch was comfortable, and it had been a very long day. Jake rolled over and dove headlong into dreamland.