Gone is the easy banter. The sexy grins. No more carefree fun as the wind blows my hair into a whirl. The top is up during the car ride back to the tower, and so is Sebastian’s guard. The first half of the hour-long drive passes in silence, but the air between us grows tense with things left unsaid.
I’m sick with knowing I hurt him, my actions back at the cottage destroying the last twenty-four hours we spent together. He put his heart on the line, went above and beyond to make up for his past behavior. Finally, after all of these months, he opened up and let me see the vulnerable man hiding behind the angry sentinel.
“I’m sorry,” I say, throat constricted with fear.
“For what?”
“For hurting you.”
He doesn’t answer, and the ball of dread in my gut grows denser. “Don’t shut me out again,” I plead.
He grips the steering wheel. “I’m not shutting you out.”
“You’re not talking to me, either.”
“What do you want me to say? You’re still conflicted. I get it.”
“You don’t.” With each mile that passes under us, he slips away a little further. “Yesterday was the most amazing day of my life, Sebastian. I just…I never wanted to hurt anyone.”
“Someone needs to get hurt.” He glances at me for three full seconds, the car holding steady on the road as the progress we made yesterday crashes and explodes. “If it’s me, then it’s me, but I won’t touch you again until you figure it out.” He returns his attention to the highway, jaw hardening with anger.
My own flame of fury ignites. “So it’s okay for you to fuck Lilith without guarantees, but you won’t lay a finger on me until I figure it out? How is that fair?”
Abruptly, he pulls onto the shoulder and kills the engine. His blue eyes narrow with turbulence, condemnation pinning me to the seat. “Don’t talk to me about fair. You’ve wanted Castle from the minute you got here. I know you didn’t object when he put his hands on you.”
“It’s not the same thing!” I glare at him, despising him for putting me on the defensive. “I haven’t slept with Liam, but you had your dick in her.”
“Don’t play the innocent, scorned little girl. The chancellor did everything but stick his goddamn dick in you.”
I open my mouth to argue, but I can’t.
Sebastian’s lips curve into a cruel smile. “You have no room to talk, because from where I’m sitting, you’re caught between twelve men.”
“That’s not my fault.”
He leans toward me, eating up the inches of space between us. “It doesn’t change the fact that after I marry you, a monthly romp in a bed that isn’t mine will take you away from me. Like fucking clockwork, Novalee.”
“Again,” I say through gritted teeth. “Not. My. Fault.”
“Who do you think gets you first after I take your virginity?”
Liam.
His name blares between us, unspoken but no less real.
“It’s all over your face. You can’t wait to spread your legs for him, but getting him means accepting the rest of them.” Another inch of space disappears as he corners me. “After Liam, it’ll be Heath. He’ll take your ass, since that’s his preference. Then there’s Landon. I can’t imagine you’d want to fuck your brother.”
I slap him hard, my palm stinging from the contact.
The assault on his face doesn’t slow him down. He keeps plowing ahead, trampling on my pride like the animal he is. “Landon will come up with a cover story, no doubt, but Vance…” Sebastian snickers, and though we’re trapped in a car barely big enough for two people, he might as well be circling me.
The lion toying with the prey.
“The doctor is into some kinky shit, princess. I’m sure he’ll have someone watch while he fucks your brains out.”
“That’s enough!” Too angry to see straight, I shove my door open and stumble to my feet, blind with heartache and wrath. The driver’s side door slams shut a second later, followed by heavy footfalls that chase me down the gravelly shoulder.
He grabs my arm. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Away from you.”
“Get back in the damn car.”
“No!” I wrench my arm free and make it another three steps before he hauls me off my feet. “Put me down!” I scream, fighting against the arm holding me to his chest. As if I weigh no more than a sack of potatoes, he flings me over one shoulder and heads back to the car.
I dig my nails into his back, hoping I’m leaving another set of marks on his skin that have nothing to do with pleasure. I want to maim, want to tear him apart limb from limb for making me crazy. I’m still flailing when he drops me on my feet.
With lightning quick speed, he grabs me by the nape, fingers unforgiving in their harsh grip. The set of his jaw tells me he’s not messing around. “It’s my month, which means what I say goes.” He yanks me close, bringing our noses together. “And I say you’re going to get back into the goddamn car.”
“And if I don’t?”
“Don’t test me, princess.” He wrenches the door open, giving the passenger seat a pointed glare.
“What? You’ll punish me?” I lift my chin in quiet challenge. “You wouldn’t be the first, and I doubt you’ll be the last.”
“I will if I have to, but I won’t do it in private.” He smirks as two cars fly past. “I’ll bend you over the hood and spank you right here.”
“You were right,” I say, wrenching free of his hold. “You can be an ass.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
We enter a stalemate for a full minute, the rush of vehicles stirring my hair as they speed down the highway. A horn blares. Sebastian’s stubborn stare never falters, same as his will. The open door at my side taunts me. Even if my feet wanted to take me away from him, I have nowhere else to go.
My only ally is the waiting passenger seat.
So I get in, adrenaline spiking through my limbs, and try not to cry—out of hurt or anger, I’m not sure. He pulls the seatbelt across my breastbone and fastens it, tugging until it lies tight over my lap. As he veers back, our eyes meet.
“The next time you decide to hit me,” he says, brushing a hand over the light pink marks on his cheek. “Make it hurt.” With a slam of the passenger side door, he shuts me inside the vehicle.