When Nash walked into the dining room after his shower, he found the table set for five. “Where is everyone else?”
“Your dad had an errand to run before picking up the stone. The rest of the family went home to check on the kids. Spring and Knox went for a walk, but should be back any time.”
“And the fifth plate?”
“For your girlfriend’s sister. I thought maybe she should have a final meal and all.”
“She might find it hard to digest the food if everyone is viewing her with disdain and anger.”
“We’ll keep it to a minimum.”
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”
“No worries. Go get her and help her to the table. I imagine she’s still a little weak. If she prefers, I can fix a plate and bring it to her.”
Nash stepped into the master suite to find Rylee sitting with her back against the headboard and staring down at her sister.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Any change?”
“No. But then, you didn’t expect there would be, did you?”
“Not really.” He sat on the edge of Ryanne’s side of the bed and clasped her hand. “She died in that clearing today, Rylee. When she crossed to the Otherworld, she made it difficult to bring her back. The gods and goddesses don’t like to give up their new souls without a fight.”
“I gathered as much earlier.”
“I suspect it’s why my Uncle Preston suggested the Book of Thoth.” He raised his gaze to meet hers. “When you remove a soul, you have to offer a trade. Isis likes to say, ‘balance in all things.’”
“I get it, Nash, okay? I’m to be the trade.”
“Only if you want to be. None of us will force this on you. This has to be your choice. Ryanne would never understand if I compelled you to do this.”
The defiance fled from her features, and she looked as if she wanted to cry. “I know.”
“I’m going to tell the others that you’re going to sleep on it. If you’re still willing in the morning, we’ll do the ceremony then.” He studied Ryanne’s beautiful pale face for a long moment then turned back to Rylee. “Come on. Autumn made dinner for the family.”
“I’m not your family, Nash.”
“Yes, you are. You’re Ryanne’s beloved sister. That makes you family.”
She did cry then. Big heartbreaking sobs that tugged at Nash’s weary, aching heart. He reached across the body of Ryanne and gripped Rylee’s hand.
“Please don’t cry. I don’t think I can handle it right now. If I break down…” He swallowed hard. “I can’t go there.”
She nodded but continued to cry, and Nash was helpless against her tears. Perhaps if she wasn’t identical to Ryanne, he might have been able to hold out. Instead, he hurried around the bed and pulled her into his arms.
“Let it out.”
He continued to rock her as she released her grief, all the while focusing his gaze on Ryanne’s beloved countenance.
Spring entered the room and brushed a hand down Rylee’s hair. “I can sit with her while you go eat, Nash.”
“We’ll only be a minute longer,” he assured her.
With a pat to his shoulder, she left the way she’d come.
“I’m all right now.” Rylee pulled away and pressed the heels of her palms to her swollen eyes. “I’ll be out in a sec.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
He was halfway to the door when she spoke again.
“Nash? I’m glad she has you. She couldn’t find a better man in all the world.”
Pressing his lips into a thin line, he nodded. Words were impossible.
After dinner, Rylee took a pad of paper and a pen, then disappeared into the guest room. Nash’s cousins were hesitant to leave him, but he insisted they return home to their beds.
Because he was still wary of Rylee’s intent, regardless of her remorseful display earlier, he cast a quick guarding spell on the bedroom door after he closed and locked it for the evening. If anyone entered the master bedroom tonight, they were in for the shock of their life.
Rest. Sleep. Yeah, no. He wouldn’t get any of either. Not tonight. Not when Ryanne’s life hung in the balance. Although they’d been lovers—albeit briefly—curling up next to her on the bed felt like an invasion of her privacy, of her right to lay untouched, so he moved the armchair closer to the bed and settled into it for the remainder of the evening.
Somewhere, on the other side of the veil between the living and the dead, did she sit, watching him? A large part of him hoped she did. Hoped she wanted to come back as badly as he wanted her back. Another huge part of him worried she didn’t. Worried perhaps she had already moved on despite Rylee’s assurances that Ryanne was wandering around the Otherworld as distraught as Nash.
“When you wake up, I’m going to wring your neck for slicing through your vein. Really, it was a foolhardy thing to do. But it was also brave. You’ll fit right in with my crazy relatives, babe.” He leaned forward and rested his forearms on his knees, clasping his hands together. “Oh, the stories I could tell. Like you, they plunge into danger without thinking twice. If they feel it’s right or just, they will fight to the death.”
Resting his chin on his joined hands, he sighed. “I’m not sure I ever felt that strongly about anything before. Certainly nothing before you. Definitely nothing after you. If you leave me, I don’t think I want to feel anything ever again.” He swallowed and sat back. “It would hurt too much.”
Nash awoke with a start. Heart pounding, he glanced wildly around the room. A quick check showed Ryanne’s status was still the same. When all seemed in order, he inhaled a deep, cleansing breath and worked to calm his heart.
The bright morning sun mocked him as it peered through the cheerful purple curtains. He frowned at the material. Wispy and bright, with shimmering threads that caught the light. She loved purple, that much he knew. But those curtains brought to mind the decor of a child’s room and were completely at odds with the rest of her room. Why? A pull from the past? Maybe a nod to her parents, but which ones? Birth or adopted?
A light knock sounded at the door.
“Nash? I’m about to make some breakfast. Are you hungry?”
“I’m good. Thanks.” He was a bit hungry, but the idea of Rylee making breakfast while Ryanne lay in stasis was surreal. To a large degree, it angered him. He and Ryanne should be making breakfast together in her tiny kitchen.
A single second knock sounded, harder than the first. “Calm the fuck down. You’re killing my sister’s plants.”
Ryanne’s houseplants didn’t deserve to suffer for his irritation. With a deep sigh, he sent a magical boost out to reverse the damage he’d done with his anger. He cast a defeated look at the stack of books he’d read last night and, with another wave of his hand, removed the ward and opened the bedroom door.
Exhaustion weighed heavily on Nash. He was only in his early thirties, and yet he felt like he was at least three times his age. If they couldn’t pull off the transmutation spell, he didn’t know what he was going to do. The idea of facing every day without Ryanne across the desk from him didn’t bear thinking about.
“Did you sleep?”
Rylee’s concerned voice startled him from his musings.
“Not really. A bit of a cat nap.”
“You’re not doing Ryanne any good by—”
“Stop mothering me, Rylee,” he snapped, surging from the chair. “Just. Stop.”
“I’m not—”
He slashed a hand through the air. “You are. I don’t know if this is misplaced guilt on your part, but you can’t make up for what you’ve done. Stop trying.”
Her stricken look cut him to the quick. It wasn’t in Nash’s nature to be cruel, but he also couldn’t tolerate her overly solicitous act. Not when she was the one ultimately responsible for Ryanne’s stasis.
“I’ll conjure food when I’m hungry. I have phone calls to make.”
She nodded, cast one last remorseful look toward her twin, and fled.
The air around him altered, and a fizzing pop signaled an incoming group. His cousins Autumn and Spring arrived, bringing Aunt GiGi with them.
“Any change?” GiGi asked as she moved to Ryanne’s bedside.
“Not that I can tell.”
“Is the wonder twin still willing to fix her fuck-up?” Autumn asked.
“Yes, this wonder twin is still willing to fix her fuck-up,” Rylee growled from behind them.
As one, they turned. She stood in the doorway with a plate of food, cutlery, and a napkin. Nash could only assume she intended to feed him regardless of his earlier surliness.
“She didn’t mean anything by it, Rylee. Autumn is just that way.”
“Don’t apologize for me, cousin. I can do that on my own. When necessary,” she added with an arched brow.
“Can we not fight today?” he asked wearily. “I can’t handle any more of this strife. Rylee has already agreed to do what was necessary to help. This animosity isn’t benefiting anyone.”
The hard look on Autumn’s face eased into chagrin. “I’m sorry.” She faced Rylee. “To both of you.”
Rylee took the three steps she needed to reach Nash and shoved the plate into his hands. “I made you something anyway. Eat.”
Her words, actions, and attitude were all Ryanne’s, and that familiarity slayed him. He sank onto the edge of the bed and stared down at the steaming eggs as he fought the gut-wrenching sobs wanting to rip through him.
“I didn’t poison the damned thing,” she snapped before she exited the room in a huff.
Nash set the food aside for two reasons; there was a small part of him that still didn’t trust her not to poison him, and his appetite had effectively vanished with his worry about the upcoming ceremony.
Spring glanced toward the empty doorway and ran a hand overtop the plate. When she was done, the appearance was of a meal three-quarters of the way consumed. She met his eye and gave him an understanding smile.
“Okay, enough messing about. Let’s get this show on the road.” Autumn stepped forward, ready to take command. “Spring, will you let Rylee know we are ready?” She directed her next request to GiGi. “Will you let Uncle Alastair know we are ready to proceed? Have everyone meet back here in ten minutes.”
Autumn placed a hand on Nash’s arm. “I want to talk to you a minute.”
“What’s up?”
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“What now, Autumn?”
“Even if we somehow pull the rabbit out of the hat and bring her back, there may be a part of her that she leaves behind in the Otherworld. It happened to me, and it happened to my mother.”
“And my father too, if I’m not mistaken.”
“Yes.”
“What’s it like? Other than this hard edge it seems to give everyone?”
“It’s like a small part of you can never be warm, no matter how hard you or the people around you try.”
“Do you not feel things as deeply? Love any less?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I haven’t thought to rate it.” She turned her thoughtful gaze on Ryanne. “I love my family. Keaton, Chloe, and Jolyon are my world. I don’t want to live without them. Yet there are moments when I look at them without feeling any emotion at all. It’s like my emotions go on hiatus. It’s fleeting, but it happens.” She shook her head and met his steady gaze. “If we’re being honest, it freaks me right the fuck out.”
“Why?”
“What if those moments grow into minutes? Hours? Days? Keaton has a slight understanding, but what about the children? Do they sense that their mother doesn’t care one way or another? And what might I do in one of these unfeeling moments?”
His big bad cousin looked more vulnerable and frightened than he’d ever witnessed. Without too much thought, he hauled her into an embrace. “You could never hurt anyone you loved, Tums. We all know that. You’re worrying yourself needlessly.”
“I’m not so sure.”
“I am.” He pulled back and framed her face. “When this is over, I’ll do research and see if I can’t find a solution, or at the very least, a way to set your mind at ease, okay?”
She nodded. The grateful smile curling her lips was at complete odds with her standard mocking grin.
“Do you need another minute?”
“No.” She inhaled deeply. “I’m as ready as you are. Let’s do this thing.”