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School quickly became routine. Teachers liked me because I did my homework and had good grades. What they didn’t know was that I never slept and so actually had enough time to do everything they expected me to do. Also, I was quiet during the lessons. I didn’t have anybody in my own grade to talk to. Therefore, I looked forward to lunch, which I mostly spent with Phe, Joe, and Sam. They were happy about any kind of food I shared. I felt like I had found actual friends in them. For everybody else, I soon wasn't such a novelty anymore and they didn’t pay much attention to me, except for that one cute tall guy who caught my eye on my first day.
He was in my history class. In my second week, he finally seemed to have worked up the nerve to talk to me.
“Hey, what’s up?” He said. He was wearing the basketball shirt of the school team, of which he was captain. It set a nice focus on the muscles in his arms.
“School, I guess,” I replied.
“Yeah, you know, we have this game on Friday, and a bunch of my friends are coming to watch it. You should come, too.”
“Okay, I’ll think about it. Maybe my friends will want to come as well.” He wasn’t bad looking after all. If he had a bigger interest in me, I’d better have some support around, who could distract me. In case a good-looking guy weakens the control I had worked up over the past month while being among humans.
“These losers? They are so boring, why would you hang out with them anyway? Sam is about the size of a pet dog; his best friend is a mute and it hurts to look at Phe with all these bright colors. She used to be different in primary school.”
“So, you are a friend of Timothy?” I said coldly.
“Um, yes, why?” His face showed confusion.
“Thought so. Sorry, but I prefer to spend my time with people where I can be whoever I am without being judged. You’d probably be a nice guy too if you wouldn’t feel the need to have to prove something every second.” I started walking away.
“Hold on. Okay, maybe that wasn’t so nice of me.” He held his hands up in defense. “You could still consider the game.” He flashed a smile at me.
“I’ll think about it,” I said.
“Why is it so hard to get a simple yes from beautiful girls?” He demanded to know.
A short laugh escaped me. This was the first time someone I found appealing, openly told me to my face that I was beautiful. I shook my head since I knew now that he was only attracted to me because of my Siren aura.
“What?” He asked.
“Nothing. I’ll think about it. See you.” Time for the next lesson.
“I’ll walk with you for a bit.” He said and came with me. “It starts at seven, and they will be selling very delicious hot dogs, so that alone is reason enough to come.”
“Wow, you don’t give up easily, do you?” I smiled.
“If I gave up easily, I definitely wouldn’t be captain of a team.”
“So, here is my room.” I had math.
“Alright, so see you on Friday,” he said and walked on.
“Maybe,” I called after him.
I walked into the classroom and quickly stopped at Sam’s desk whose face looked like a question mark.
“What did Kyle want from you?” He asked.
“He invited me to come to the game on Friday,” I sighed. “I’d only go if you go.”
Sam laughed. “No, sorry, I don’t see a chance of that. I can tell you a whole list off the top of my head of better things to do. Neatly re-arranging my t-shirts at home is only one of them. But you can go. But probably, if you have seen it once, you would gladly stay home as well.” He warned me.
The bell rang, and I walked to my desk.
“Alone? Where’s the fun in that.” I hissed before I sat down.
Later that day, I became a witness of another episode of Timothy’s bullying. I was walking toward Phe, as she was putting things in her locker, but Timothy was ahead of me. When he was close to her, he pushed the friend next to him, so that he hit Phe and she banged into the front of her locker.
“Ooops, sorry.” Timothy laughed, and all his friends laughed with him. I really felt sorry for Phe, but I was even angrier at him for treating her this way for no reason. Therefore, before coming to her aid, I pretended to walk into the bathroom. Just to dart out again in Siren’s speed. Nobody saw how I repeatedly ran past Timothy until there was a good moment to make him trip. He fell to the floor for what seemed no reason at all. Again, people laughed but this time, at him.
“Man, if Coach would have seen this, you’d be sitting on the bench during the next game,” Dave told him.
I darted back to the toilet and walked out of the door at a normal speed.
“Phe, are you okay?” I asked her emphatically.
She shrugged, “I guess so. This was nothing actually.” I could see she was sad.
I gave her a quick hug. “Well, this has got to stop. That’s more than simple bullying. You could get hurt.”
“It won’t stop. He has too big of an audience.”
“That audience saw how he tripped over his own feet. Karma starts paying back.”
Phe gave a weak smile. “Yes, at least something.”
I definitely would not go to the basketball game.
On Wednesday after school, I accompanied my friends to Boston. Phe drove us in her car. I was excited to go to this city for the first time. Phe had to go to the different schools to present them her portfolio. We didn’t bring the sculpture, though. She just took a few pictures of it, which she glued on a black paper.
The first stop was at Massachusetts College of Art and Design. This wasn’t going to be a sightseeing trip, I realized. We really were looking at schools. Then again, the others had probably been to Boston a million times. I was the only newbie here, but they didn’t know that of course. Either way, it was worth coming. The buildings were beautiful! While Phe had her interview, we walked through the park and imagined what it would be like to attend this school. We admired the students. They looked so sophisticated with their bags, glasses, and books. The awesome thing was that the college was like a little village. There was everything; book stores, small supermarkets, places to eat, coffee shops, and so on. I let go of a sigh when I accepted that I had to wait another year until I would be able to live this life as well.
“Being here somehow makes it a lot more real,” Sam said as we walked through a gallery with paintings of alumni who made themselves a name in this world. “So far it has only been an idea that will eventually become the present. But now, it feels like college lies just around the corner.”
“First, we’d have to apply to some schools,” Joe remarked.
“Sure, but there’s enough time for that, and with our GPAs, I’m not so worried. But imagine all of us in Boston!” Sam said.
“It would be awesome.”
They were so excited about the change that was coming in their lives while I was still trying to cope with the new circumstances I had been thrown into.
“What do you think?” Sam asked me.
“Hm?” I had been completely absorbed by my thoughts.
“About the fact that soon one of us might call this hall their path to lunch.”
“It’s a bit overwhelming,” I said. “But I will have a year more to worry about this anyway.”
“You will have an advantage since you will have us to tell you about how everything works.”
“You’re right. Have I told you that I am glad that you are my friends?”
“No, not yet but don’t think too highly of it anyway. We thought being nice to a stranger would get us good karma for our future.” Sam winked at me.
When we walked outside to wait for Phe we already saw her walking down the stairs with her portfolio under her arm.
“How was it?” Joe asked.
“I have no idea.” Phe’s cheeks looked flushed. “I couldn’t read their faces. They were totally expressionless. They were friendly, but they also asked me weird questions that had nothing to do with my paintings.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“For example, what was an important moment in my childhood that I remember. I didn’t know I’d have to have spontaneous answers ready to cover my whole life,” She said exasperatedly.
“So, what did you tell them?” Sam wanted to know.
“At first, my mind went blank. I couldn’t remember anything out of my past. The first thing that came to my mind was the funeral we had in our backyard when our cat died. Now, they probably interpret that I am a teenager on the verge of depression who likes to dwell in sad memories. Why didn’t I mention a birthday gift when I got my first paint brush or something like that?”
“I’m sure they were just making conversation to get to know you as a person and not only as your pictures.” Joe comforted her.
“Well, they could have picked an easier topic.” She sighed. “What were you up to?”
“We checked out the area. It would be cool if we could visit you on these grounds, so we agree unanimously that you are allowed to go here. Then Nathalie declared her love for us as her friends. You should have been here; it was a very moving speech.” Sam wiped away an invisible tear. I rolled my eyes.
“Aw, thanks, Nat. I’m glad not to be the only female that hangs out with these two dopes anymore.” She grinned and put her arms around their shoulders.
“You heard that, Sam? She called us idiots. Now, let me ask you again; who spent hours to work on projects with you and accompanied you to Boston for moral support? Could it be that you accidentally picked the wrong word? Yeah, actually that’s most likely the case, you have never been the best with proper English language.”
“You know exactly how much I love you,” Phe said looking at Joe, slightly blushing and then also looking at Sam.
“Such a sentimental group today. Maybe it has something to do with the moon.” Joe said.
We needed to get going to the University of Massachusetts to be there in time for Phe’s second interview. The campus was right next to the water, which made it a beautiful place to stroll around. Phe left us again, and we wandered around aimlessly.
“It must be so nice to take a nap under one of these trees in the summer. I think I could study here.” Joe said.
“Yeah, you should mention this in your application letter.” Sam joked.
Meanwhile, my attention was focused on something else. Or rather, someone else. A little ahead there was another building with a glass front on the first floor. It was the wall of a coffee shop and next to the window sat the most handsome guy I had ever seen. He had a strong chest and broad shoulders. I could tell they were packed with muscles from the way his t-shirt was tight around the shoulders but looser in the middle of the back. He could be a football player. There was no fat visible on his stomach. I imagined that it must be nice to lean on a strong chest like his. This had never happened to me before. I had to stare at him for the simple reason of enjoying seeing something beautiful. He was working on his laptop. The little curb between his eyes from concentrating hard was an extremely sexy feature. I had to get to university quickly if they had things like that walking around here. I hadn’t even realized that I had stopped walking.
“What are you waiting for?” Sam turned around. They were already a few steps ahead of me.
“Does anybody else feel like coffee?” I asked.
“I wouldn’t mind a cinnamon bun,” Sam said.
“Yeah, I was hoping one of you would finally suggest a snack break,” Joe added.
We walked into the coffee shop and got in line to order. When I tried to glance over to him inconspicuously, I found him looking right back at me. I was caught off guard and didn’t know how to react anymore, like a dear in the headlights of a car. The even weirder thing was that he didn’t look away either. He kept staring at me with dreamy brown eyes until a delicate smile started to play around his lips. He ran his fingers through his short dark curls, slightly shook his head and looked back into his laptop. I guessed his age somewhere at the beginning of his twenties, but I couldn’t further think about that since the barista called me to order.
“Ah yes, a coffee please.”
“I’d have guessed a chai latte. Pretty ladies as you usually go for that.” He said.
“Really?” I asked slowly. I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t even able to order a coffee without somebody flirting with me. Plus, I was pretty sure that the other guy heard it, too. The barista was one of these people who always talked extra clear and super loud so that you would understand him the first time for sure.
“No, just coffee for me.” I gave a weak smile.
We sat down at a table, and I made sure to have my back to the guy to keep myself from glancing over at him all the time. The boys were enjoying their sweets and talking happily about how they would only eat pastries all day when they were in college. I tried to pay attention to the conversation, but my mind was preoccupied with the other guy. Yes, he was handsome, but there was no reason for this strong attraction.
“What are you thinking about?” Sam suddenly asked and Joe looked at me expectantly.
“Me, why?” I was convinced, if I had recently had a new adrenalin shot, my body wouldn’t feel as if it was struck by lightning whenever I looked at the guy.
“You aren’t even listening to what we are saying, so clearly, your head is somewhere else,” Sam said.
I grimaced. “Don’t look now but do you see that guy behind me?” Of course, they both turned their heads toward him at the same time. “He is so good looking.”
“Ugh, he looks so different from me. And there I thought I had a chance with you, but obviously, I’m not your type.” Sam played to be hurt.
“Not so loud,” I said.
“You are such a girl.” Joe rolled his eyes.
“Well, maybe because I am one,” I stated.
“So, what do you want us to do?” Sam asked.
“Nothing. It’s not important.” I decided that I would walk out of the coffee shop without as much as another look at him and soon forget about him.
“You better change your mind, because he is coming over here,” Sam said just before somebody cleared his throat behind me.
"Sorry, I hope I'm not disturbing you, but I was wondering whether I could borrow you for a moment." The guy from the window was addressing me. Gosh, from up close he was even better looking; strong shoulders and a faint stubble on his chin and cheeks. It was not fair! My knees grew weak because I forgot to breathe for a moment. "I have to do this study about gender clichés. I got assigned to the female side and was wondering whether you'd have time for a short interview. The answers will be made anonymous of course."
I glanced at Joe and Sam.
“Oh, there is some time left. Go ahead.” Joe grinned.
“Yes, take your time.” Sam jumped in. “We will meet you at the entrance.” He flashed a smile at me, and they got up.
"Ok," I said to the guy.
"See you later," I called after them, and Sam showed me thumbs up. They walked out of the café, and I followed the guy to the table. As a human, my heart would have been pounding like crazy. Yet, since I couldn’t feel my heart, my nervousness now expressed itself by shooting my energy level to the moon. I had to stop myself from starting to jump up and down on the spot or running around the block a few times.
He pointed to the chair opposite of him, and I sat down.
"Thanks, that's nice of you, it's always a pain to find enough people." He said while staring at me intensely.
"I know what you mean." Being so close to him made me dizzy.
"Are you studying already?" He asked.
For a split second, I closed my eyes, because I was debating what to tell him. "Yes, psychology." I didn't want him to think that I was sixteen and still going to high school.
"Psychology." He repeated. "That's a subject with 75% of female students. Which means that you would fulfill the cliché of having chosen a typical female branch of study. Were the two guys friends from college?" He had such an agreeable voice; low and soft.
"No, they are friends from high school. They came to visit the university today." I looked at him while he was typing something. He had extremely long eyelashes for a guy. Women would kill for them; they could save a lot of money for mascara.
"Yeah, I thought they appeared younger." He looked directly at me as if he was looking for something in my face and eventually, I had to turn my glance away. "What made you chose your branch of study?" He continued.
"It just interested me. I had the subject psychology in my last year of high school, and I guess I like to listen to people and help them." I answered.
"Do you think these are typical female abilities? To listen and help."
I bit on my lip, since I much rather wanted to kiss him but nevertheless answered his question. "I think guys don’t like to speak about problems as much as girls - but I know many guys who like to talk. A lot." I thought of Sam and couldn't suppress a smile. "So, yes, it's probably more a female thing to listen to people and then try to help."
He nodded and typed more words into his laptop.
"Where do you think you picked up this ability?" Again, he looked at me, splurging me with all his attention. For an instant, I felt as if he and I were the only people in the café. Before I accidentally kissed him, I tried to concentrate on the answer.
"Perhaps from my mom? She usually asked me questions when I got home from school. How was my day, had I met any nice people and so on. And then from my best friends in elementary school."
"Were they male or female?” It was a normal question. And yet the words male and female coming out of his mouth sounded like a sexual invitation. I had to remind myself that my mind was only making this up.
"Female."
"Last question already. Do you also think there are typical female and male study branches, and if yes, which ones?" I drowned in the chocolate pool of his eyes for a moment.
"Yes, math, physics and computer science for guys. Psychology, jobs with little children and languages for women."
"Okay, thank you!" He smiled. "What's your name?"
"I thought it was anonymous."
"It is. Just out of personal curiosity." He grinned.
"Aren’t usually women the curious ones?" I grinned back.
"I don’t think so. Or why would there be all these movies about male detectives that end up saving the world? They are mostly male.” Since I didn’t respond, he continued, “thanks for giving me your time for the interview anyway."
"No problem."
"Do you mind if I ask you where your accent comes from?"
I was taken aback a little. I didn't think I still had an accent.
"I attended high school in Germany."
His eyes opened in surprise. “Oh, that must have been great. Where?”
“Hamburg. Yes, it was good. I didn’t think that I would lose my own language, though," I laughed.
“Don't get me wrong; I like it. It makes you sound very soft and exotic. You have a nice voice." He smiled. "But seriously, I wish I had been to Europe, too. I'd love to go to Spain and Greece.”
"Why exactly these two places?" I asked.
"They seem like the perfect holiday paradise. Beach, good food, interesting languages."
"You speak Spanish?"
"Un poquito. I had it for two years in high school. And you, do you speak German?”
"Yes, and a little French." I would have liked to tell him that I also spoke a very funny language called Swiss German. It's only a spoken language. There is no grammar, so it’s very hard for foreigners to learn.
"Wow, two foreign languages.” He whistled.
“It’s not that hard when you are surrounded by them,” I said. Glancing at the watch in the café, I realized that I should be leaving.
“I have to go now.”
“That’s too bad. I really enjoyed talking to you. “
Me too, I wanted to say but bit my lip. That’s why his next question surprised me even more.
“Do you think we can meet again? Then I could actually invite you for a coffee or something.”
My insides jumped. YES! But rationally, I could also see the many complications that would bring. How would I hide my true identity from him? Would I always be able to resist killing him, if I was very close to him and he was so attractive? And what would my Siren family say? On top of that, I didn’t even have a phone where he could contact me. Neither did I have Facebook or any other social media as Nathalie. I hadn’t virtually established my new self yet.
“I’d like that. But if I’m honest, I have a few things to sort out in my life right now. Therefore, I’m not sure whether I’ll be able to see you again.” I thought that I had handled this situation well and was satisfied with myself.
“Oh, ok. I’m not talking about anything serious if you are worried about your boyfriend. Just coffee to enjoy the company of a beautiful girl.” He smiled.
“I’m not saying a boyfriend is a problem. I just have to figure a few things out. How about you come here again in one week, same place same time and I’ll see whether I can make it?”
“If that’s the best I can get I’ll take it.” A slight disappointment was written over his face.
“Okay. See you next week, maybe.” I nodded at him and then walked off before I changed my mind. I needed to stay away from UMass on the following Wednesday. Only when I saw my friends waiting for me, it hit me that I had never even asked for his name. However, an inner feeling told me that it was better this way.
“I can’t leave you alone for a second. Already finding yourself a college boyfriend.” Phe greeted me.
“I’m not looking for a boyfriend. He asked me a few questions for a project.” My stomach was doing somersaults because I much rather wanted to return to that cute stranger. “But I like that the campus here is right next to the water. I could see myself studying here as well.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure there’s another reason for this sudden interest.” She mocked me. “First Kyle and now him; you are like a magnet, girl.”
“This is very new to me. But it doesn’t matter. I won’t see him again, and Kyle needs to grow up a little first before he could actually catch my interest.”
“Then, you will wait forever,” Sam stated. “But a wise decision that you don’t want to get your brain damaged by staying around Kyle for too long and too close.”
“Alright, I get it, you don’t like him. Anyway, how was your second interview?” I asked Phe to change the subject.
“Don’t ask,” she whined, “it was very short. I don’t think they liked me. These interviews are nerve wrecking. I’m exhausted already, and there is one more to go.”
“Rather you than me.” Joe put an arm around her shoulder.
“By the way, do I have an accent?” I asked and earned a round of laughter. “I’m serious.” I protested.
“Yes, you sometimes sound a bit like a French person.” Sam grinned.
My posture deflated. I thought my English was pretty good.
“Don’t worry; it will go away again. You’ve probably been abroad for too long.”
We dropped Phe off at The New England Institute of Art and drove on to Quincy Market to go buy some dinner. We bought a few takeaway things and then returned to wait for our artist.
“You’re kind of quiet,” Sam told me when we sat on the steps in front of the University.
“Just repassing the day in my head. This has been fun.” I said.
“Aha. Might you be thinking about a certain someone from the coffee shop?”
I bent over and hid my head between my knees. “I don’t want to think about him anymore.” I groaned, and the next thought was that he had such beautiful eyes.
“You have a crush on him.” Sam sang.
“No, I don’t.” Being that attracted to somebody after only about three seconds could only mean one thing; I needed more adrenaline and was looking for a new heart. I had to be careful not to confuse these feelings now.
“Well, if you come back here to see him, bring me one of those cinnamon rolls, they were delicious.” Joe had been quiet so far.
I rolled my eyes. “Is food the only thing you ever think about?”
For me, it was time to think about food as well. So, when Melissa and Luke were both sitting around the kitchen table, that evening, I wanted to ask how I’d get to my next heart.
“How was your day?” Melissa was first.
“Quite alright,” I answered.
“Did you do the Boston freedom trail?” Luke asked.
“No, we had better things to do,” I said snappishly.
“Okay, it was only a question. How did your friend’s interview go?”
“I don’t know. I wasn’t in there with her. We only walked around the campus.” I could feel a change in my mood for the worse.
“I see.” Luke threw a glance at Melissa. “I guess she doesn’t want to talk.”
“I’m sorry.” I sat down. “It’s not you. I’m annoyed by everything.”
Melissa smiled at me. “I guess some things don’t change whether you are a mortal woman or somewhat different.”
“I assume it’s because I need new adrenalin?” I asked.
“Correct,” she said.
“So, where do I go look for a heart?”
“Anywhere, in a remote area and if it’s night, it would be even better,” Melissa answered. “You won’t ever have troubles finding a new heart, though. It’s unbelievable, how many accidents happen. People die every day.”
“Basically, once a month, I wait for someone to get in a car crash, jump off a bridge, shoot themselves or lose their lives in some other unfortunate way?” I stated.
“Yes,” Luke said. “And believe me, there are odd things you will see. Once for instance, we found a guy who had been stabbed by a fallen branch of a big cactus.” Luke shook his head.
“I will come with you the first few times, but I think you will be able to go on your own afterward,” Melissa suggested. “And to gain more practice, you could also come with us, when I go ‘hunting’ with Luke.” She used her fingers as quotation marks.
“You don’t want to leave me too close to a heart that pretty much calls out to be eaten. I would eat the rest around it as well.” Luke grimaced.
“We should go today then.” I looked at Melissa. “It’s no fun feeling so easily irritated.”
On this, like on all the following ‘hunts’ it was the same procedure. Go to a deserted place at night, listen and then run to wherever a heart is at bay.
Melissa and I roamed across North America for a while until I spotted the heart I needed. It was a car accident in Colorado. I was a bit nervous that I wouldn’t know where to apply the needle, but once I clearly heard the heartbeat, it was as if I discovered a sixth sense for that. All I focused on was how to get my shot.
“Good job, soon you can have your own needles and won’t need me anymore as your chaperone,” Melissa said.
“I feel better now but how can you stand looking at these scenes?” I said once my need was fulfilled.
“I know, it’s not a nice sight. It’s easier when you are hungry.” She answered and then rummaged in the pocket of the passenger.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Calling 911 from his phone. Then, he might still have a chance of survival.” She dialed the number and let the phone drop into the car.
“Let’s go. there’s nothing more we can do now.”