Lexi’s Sporting Widow Survival Guide

When you start dating someone obsessed with sport and find yourself in danger of becoming a sporting widow, then the best piece of advice I can give you is to run for the hills! Get out while you still can, before the commentary on football games becomes the soundtrack to your life, and your social calendar looks more like a ‘What’s On’ guide for Sky Sports.

Only kidding. We all know you can’t help who you fall in love with, but if you do end up with a sports enthusiast (and you don’t share his passion), here’s my guide to how to keep your sanity.

1. Leopards don’t change their spots

We all know that you can’t change men. Sure, we can tweak them and buff them round the edges, but it’s pretty hard to get them to undergo a complete personality transplant. You’ll be fighting an ever-losing battle banning them from watching sports. Instead, try to get them to watch less. Agree in advance which matches or sport he’ll be watching over a weekend, making sure you create a balance between what you both want to do. It’ll save so much frustration and arguing on a Sunday afternoon.

2. Keep your arsenal well stocked

When I first met Will, I didn’t own a smartphone, and it was before e-readers. After ending up in the pub too many times when the football/rugby/cricket were on, I soon realised that I needed to carry a book around with me. Now, thanks to the wondrous improvements in technology, I no longer need a ginormous handbag. With my smartphone and e-reader always in my bag, there’s no need to sigh if I’m being ignored in favour of sports, as I’ve always got something to entertain me at the click of a button.

3. If you can’t beat them, join them

I actually don’t mind going to watch live sport – sssh, don’t tell Will. I’m not saying I’d like to go all the time, but it beats watching it on TV any day. Not only is the atmosphere better, but it makes you feel part of the game in a way you don’t get in your front room. Will is always really appreciative if I keep him company at a game, too – earning me massive brownie points. It also means that I’m guaranteed to spend some time with him, even if I don’t always have his full attention. My first sporting preference is cricket, as it’s usually much warmer when you go to watch (or should be) than it is when the rugby’s on. I always pick a Twenty20 game as it’s over more quickly.

4. Misery loves company

You’re not the first sporting widow, and you certainly won’t be the last. If you’re going to be dragged along to some match/game/event, then why not take someone along with you? I still think Josie and Richard would have been perfect for that – but unfortunately it didn’t work out too well . . . It’s also a good idea that if your home turns into man cave central when all the boys come over, that you invite their partners, too. That way you’ve got some company, and once the match is over you can all socialise together.

5. Rules of engagement

As much as I hate knowing all the sporting rules and regulations, I feel that it helps in my relationship. When Will’s moaning about a game, or we’re watching something live, I can have conversations with him – or at the very least I can understand what he’s talking about. It’s being supportive and taking an interest – earning those good old brownie points again.

6. Gift of time

Instead of sitting on the sofa getting the hump that the Speedway is on rather than Corrie, use the time wisely, and I don’t mean by lusting over the lifestyles of non-sporting widows on Instagram. I never would have finished my first book without Will’s dominance of the remote control. Is there a hobby you want to do? A fitness class you could go to, or a run you could go on? Coordinate things so that you have some ‘me time’ whilst your partner watches sports, and then carve out some quality time for the two of you after.

7. Don’t anger the beast

When your partner’s team loses and he’s acting like it’s the end of the world, try to remember that for him it is. Unless you want to provoke him, never trot out phrases like ‘it’s only a game’ or ‘there’s always next week’. Let him wallow for a while, and eventually he’ll snap out of it.

 

Good luck – and may the odds forever be in his team’s favour, so that you have a happy partner!