Chapter Nineteen

 

Soren stared at the small bundle that Ali held against her chest. A tuft of soft blond hair was peeking out and she could just make out her tiny forehead before the rest of her face got lost in a blur of blanket and Ali’s breast.

Emily Grace Kendrix hyphen Carothers had finally decided to grace the world with her presence at 3:54 in the morning on an otherwise nondescript July day. Surprisingly enough, after a pregnancy that hadn’t been the easiest, Ali had only had to survive eight hours of labor, which surprised them all. Still, a day later, Soren could tell by looking at her that she was exhausted, as could be expected.

The birth had brought back a flood of memories, sending Soren on a rollercoaster ride, remembering with vivid detail the night of Olivia’s birth. Her excitement at Emily’s arrival had been somewhat tempered by the pain she would always feel since she’d been forced out of her own daughter’s life. Rather than put a damper on Jordan and Ali’s day, she’d chosen to wait outside the delivery room and only went to see them when she’d gotten her emotions reigned in.

“Ren?” Ali’s quiet voice broke through her reverie and Soren looked up expectantly. “I think Emily wants her aunt to burp her.”

Soren scooped Emily into her arms and propped her up on her shoulder, before settling back into the rocking chair in the corner of the room. For several moments, the only sound in the sterile room was the rhythmic tapping on Emily’s back and an occasional creak from the chair.

She craned her head to look at Emily, inhaling her scent. She smelled exactly like she remembered Olivia, a hint of Baby Magic and powder. Her stomach tightened at the scent and her heart jumped into her throat. She blinked back tears, but instead of sad ones, they were tears of hope. Emily’s birth was a sign that life does indeed move on and so had she. Obviously, she would give anything to get Olivia back, but Soren could finally admit that she wouldn’t change where she had ended up today. Nor would she stress about tomorrow.

“So, are you ready to have another one yet?” Ali asked after several moments.

Soren felt Emily’s warm body wriggle against hers and she smiled. “I think so. I just have to find someone special to do it with.”

“What about your new girl? Jordan says you’re in love already.” Ali teased.

Soren rolled her eyes. “Jeez, what is it with brother and sister big mouth? I swear neither one of them can keep anything quiet.”

“Neither one of who can keep quiet?” Jordan asked as she joined them in the room. She set two bags of fast food on a small table and bent over to give Ali a kiss. “Hello, Mother.”

“Seriously, do not call me that. It makes me feel like I’m sixty years old and living on a farm.” Ali glared at Jordan. “And you can’t keep your big mouth shut.”

“What?” Jordan asked innocently. “I haven’t even been here, what did I do now?”

Soren shot her a glare that matched Ali’s earlier one. “Does everyone need to know about my love life?”

Jordan colored slightly and started to stammer. “Um, no, well, I…” She shot Ali a desperate look and Ali merely laughed as if to say you’re on your own with this one. “It’s not a big deal, Ren. Besides, I only told Ali and a couple of the nurses and maybe the doctor.”

“That’s great, Jordan. Why don’t you just put out an announcement?” She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. “Wait a minute. Why on earth would you tell the doctor or the nurses? And you better have a better reason than you were just making conversation.”

“It just so happens, missy, that one of them was interested in playing some naughty nurse games with you.” Jordan teased. “I figured I would let her know that your heart was already spoken for, but that you may want to borrow a set of scrubs…just in case.”

Soren rolled her eyes at Jordan’s suggestion, but her thighs clenched at the idea of role playing with Merritt. She felt her ears getting warm and she tried to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks.

“I knew it!” Jordan smiled cockily. “You do want to borrow some scrubs. Naughty girl.”

“Maybe. You know, whatever. But you still have a big mouth.” Soren stuck her tongue out at Jordan then turned back to Ali and raised her eyebrows. Ali nodded her head and Soren laid Emily back in the small bassinet beside the hospital bed. “Anyway, as you may have already heard, I did meet someone. And God help me, I am head over heels in love with her.”

Ali waited while Jordan pulled hamburgers and fries out of the bag and passed them around. She took a large bite of the burger and moaned appreciatively. “Man, that’s a good burger. So, you’re in love. How’s she feel?”

Soren dipped a handful of fries in ketchup and shoved them in her mouth before answering. “She hasn’t said as much, but I get the feeling her heart’s already mine. I just know, ya know?”

“Have you told her how you feel?” Ali mumbled around another bite of her burger.

Soren shook her head. “Yeah, kinda. I told her in a voicemail.”

“Wow, romantic.” Jordan teased. “I can’t believe she hasn’t fallen all over herself to be with you.”

Ali punched Jordan in the arm. “Quit it! Like you have any room to talk.”

“I’m romantic.” Jordan countered, feigning offense.

“Ah yeah, sure you are, honey.” Ali teased. “Asking me to marry you over a text message is the epitome of romance.”

“Well, you were married.” Jordan sputtered quickly. “How else was I supposed to ask you when your ex-husband was always around?”

Ali ran her finger lightly along Jordan’s cheek and smiled. “I’m sure we could have arranged some alone time, sweetheart. He was just a minor roadblock at times. But it all worked out in the end. I’m sure it will for you too, Ren.” She said fixing her eyes on Soren.

Soren shrugged. “At the time, voicemail was all I could get. After we sl…after we spent a significant amount of time together, I think it scared her and she ran. I would rather have told her in person, but what are you going to do? At least this way she knows.”

“Has she tried calling you since then?”

“No.” Soren shook her head. “I didn’t exactly tell her not to call while I was here, but I did sort of tell her to take the time that we were apart to figure out where she was and where she wanted to be.”

“It’s going to be a long month.” Ali said quietly. “Are you sure you can go that long without talking to her?”

“I don’t know. One week without talking to her and I’m going out of my mind.” Soren chucked her trash into a waste container with an expert flick of her wrist. “I just hope she’s missing me at least as much as I miss her and it helps her realize she doesn’t want to lose what we have.”

 

#

 

Merritt set her phone down with a loud sigh. She missed Soren terribly, the ache in her chest similar to what she thought it may feel like to suffocate. She felt like her life support had been ripped away from her and the feeling of happiness was a cold, distant memory that had left her needing Soren like she needed air. Again, she had to wonder at her own stubborn foolishness. She knew Soren believed that Sam was stuck here because she hadn’t been strong enough to choose love, and she figured she’d be damned if she made the same mistake. She just hoped when the time came, Soren’s heart would still be hers.

“Looking at it ain’t gonna make it ring.” Gay teased. “Same as the last hundred times you checked. If you want to talk to her, call her.”

Merritt growled. “I can’t, not yet anyway. There are…there are things that I need to say that I won’t say on the phone.”

Gay raised an eyebrow and regarded Merritt quizzically. “Reckon you’re finally going to admit you’re in love with her?”

“I don’t think that was ever in question.” Merritt said quickly and turned the key, letting them into Soren’s house. “Whether or not I would act on those feelings was the issue.”

“You’d be a fool if you didn’t.” Gay pushed the door shut behind them. “So, why are we here again?”

“I want to do something for Soren and I need your input.” She opened the door to the study.

“Sure, shoot.” Gay slumped into an arm chair and stared at Merritt. “What’s your big idea?”

Merritt recounted their conversation about the less than ideal setting that Soren had to use to record her music. She outlined her plan for the study, adding that they would have to hustle since she should be home in just over three weeks. “And big mouth, you have to keep it a secret.”

Gay laughed out loud. “What makes you think I’m talking to her while she’s away?”

“Oh please.” Merritt snorted. “I know someone’s been taking her mail in and watering her plants. Plus, you guys are so incredibly tight, I assume that includes regular chats.”

Gay just smiled cryptically. “Guess you’ll never know, will ya, Cuz?”

Merritt rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Dude, seriously, if you weren’t my cousin.”

“You’d what, tough guy?” Gay quipped. “Don’t take your pent up frustration out on me. I told you to go after her, remember?”

Merritt opened her mouth then shut it quickly. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not your fault, you just happen to be an easy target right now.”

“Darlin’, you need to figure out how to deal with whatever’s going on inside, or you and I are gonna have a rough month. And don’t worry, I won’t tell her our little secret.”