“THANK YOU AGAIN for meeting with me,” James said as he stood, extending his hand first to Beverly and then to Conrad. “And also for your cooperation. I’m sure you won’t regret it.”
Conrad smiled at him, and as James shook his hand, a regretful feeling came over him. Even though he and Laina hadn’t been together long, it was very possible that this man could have become his father-in-law. He couldn’t help wondering for just a moment what it would have been like to look up to him like the father he’d never had, and to have a mother figure in his life after so many years without one.
But of course he knew that could never be. Not only was Laina distant from her family herself, James had blown his chance at any future with her. There was almost zero hope that this well-dressed, gentile couple would ever be anything more than passing business associates to him.
Walking across the graceful white lobby of Atlanta’s St. Regis Hotel toward the valet desk, James took a moment to reflect on the meeting. It had been a success. He’d gotten everything he’d wanted out of it, and now he just needed to make a couple of phone calls to set the wheels in motion. But he still needed one thing from Laina, and getting it wasn’t going to be easy. Since he was certain she wouldn’t take his call or answer his text, a face-to-face visit was the only way to go. But he only had her work address, where she would easily be able to avoid him or maybe even have him hauled off by security. He’d briefly considered asking her parents for her home address, but squashed that thought when he imagined what a creep he’d sound like.
The valet brought James’s rented Land Rover to the curb and opened his door for him. James pulled away from the hotel toward Piedmont Heights, scanning the streets as he drove. He’d left Atlanta for Miami when he was twenty-three, and he’d only returned here a handful of times since. A lot had changed in fifteen years. The streets were mostly strange to him now, full of memories that no longer matched their surroundings.
Or did they?
On impulse, James turned off Peachtree Road toward a nondescript strip mall twenty blocks east. When he arrived, he pulled into a parking space beside a pickup truck and stared straight ahead.
It had barely changed. Same narrow storefront, same long lineup of customers, same retro-looking pink-and-green sign with the name painted across a smiling takeout cup. Sally’s Smoothie Stop, named after his mother. James had known it would be here. He no longer ran it, but he still owned it, even if he hadn’t visited it since shortly after his mother’s death.
He would still build her castle in the sky, even if it would look different from what he’d always imagined.
Taking his phone from his pocket, he pulled up the name he’d gotten from Laina’s parents and typed it into Google.
Locking her office door behind her, Laina left the building and took the stairs down to the parking garage. Coming in to work today had been a mistake. This morning she’d been driven in by the guilt of two projects she’d fallen behind on because of her week on Moretta. But after staring blankly at her computer screen for most of the day, she’d finally given up and left. Life without James not only felt miserable, it made everything else she used to take pleasure in feel pointless—her work, her goals, even her friends. She was shrinking inside her clothing and lying awake for most of the night. And the worst part was she didn’t even want life to get back to normal again, because she didn’t want the normal she’d had before him. At this point, the best she could hope for was that one day, if she was really lucky, she might be able to get back to a dating life filled with lackluster connections and tepid sex.
She’d thought that leaving the island early would help, but if anything it had only made things worse. As the plane lifted off on Saturday night, all she could think of was whether she was making a huge mistake. Whether she was being too stubborn, whether she should have given him the benefit of the doubt. His last sentence to her rang in her ears over and over again: I’d be making mad love to you. The words had punched into her gut, stamped her soul with eternal hopeless yearning. But was it the truth or just more manipulation?
At three o’clock in the afternoon, traffic was horrible. It took Laina an hour to fight her way across town into the heart of Lenox Park, but by the time she arrived at her parents’ house she couldn’t recall a minute of it. She’d driven on autopilot, her brain clattering with thoughts of James in her city. Today, meeting with her parents. It was unbearable.
As she drove into the circular driveway of her childhood home, she tried to remember that last time she’d been there. Christmas, probably, when she’d attended the obligatory family dinner. She felt slightly ashamed as she remembered sitting at the table with her parents and brothers, hating the happy pretense and wishing it all away. How could she have been so unappreciative when someone like James had no family at all?
James. It always came back to him.
“Laina,” her father said when he opened the door. She stepped forward and gave him a quick embrace. “This is a surprise. It’s good to see you,” he said, kindly not mentioning how long it had been.
“You too, Dad. Where’s Mom?”
“Out shopping. She’ll be sorry she missed you.”
Laina nodded as she slipped out of her flats and wandered into the sitting room. Everything was familiar—the Queen Victoria furnishings, the Persian rugs, the original art on the walls. Like a museum.
“I won’t stay long. I just...” Just what? Wanted to grill you about James Ellison? Because that was why she was here, wasn’t it? To feel a little bit closer to him because he’d crossed paths with them today? It was pathetic. “I was surprised to hear you were thinking of selling Hibiscus Heights. Why did you take so long to tell me?”
Her father looked shocked. “I’m surprised it matters to you. You always stay with Kiki when you visit Moretta.”
Laina nodded. “I know. But this last week... I guess I realized what I’ve been missing.”
He nodded slowly. “Well, your mother and I love that house, but things have changed. We don’t use it as a family anymore. When a developer approached us last year, it got us thinking. Bev and I have always thought that more of the world should be able to enjoy the island. James Ellison—he does a lot of work in Florida. He looked like he had the right idea. Nice fellow.”
Nice fellow. Laina didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “I get that change will come to the island eventually, Dad. But it should be done by someone with a record of environmental responsibility. James Ellison might have the right intentions, but if you sold to him—”
“Hang on, honey. I didn’t sell to anybody.”
“You didn’t?”
“No.”
Laina shook her head. “But...you did meet with him today?”
“Yes, though I must say your mother was more excited about the food than the actual meeting. You know how she loves the lunch menu at the St. Regis—”
“Dad, can we stick to the topic?”
“Of course. No deal was made. In fact, he rescinded his offer and withdrew his development proposal altogether.”
Laina’s mouth fell open. “What? Why?”
“He really didn’t say. But I was going to ask how you know this fellow. Because he seemed to know an awful lot about you. In fact, he was asking me some rather odd questions.”
Her heart skipped. “Such as?”
“He was very interested in some blueprints you made up sometime ago. The ones for your final project at Spelman. I told him the units looked a little large for what—”
Laina held up a hand. “Wait. You mean you actually remember those blueprints?”
“Of course.”
“But—but you never said anything! If I remember right, you took a call while I was showing them to you, and then you never brought them up again.”
Her father leaned forward, clasping his hands together. “Listen, honey. I just—passive housing, it seemed so pie-in-the-sky to me. But I didn’t want to be unsupportive, so instead I said nothing.”
“No conflict, right?” Laina said quietly.
Her father shook his head. “We just wanted you to be happy, honey—all three of you. But I see now that trying to fit you into a mold wasn’t fair to you. I guess back then I thought a lot of your interests would change—”
“And become more like yours?”
He laughed. “Or at least like Paul and Wesley’s. But I’m glad they didn’t. And now, what do you know? Green construction is all the rage!”
“Dad—” Her voice caught.
“Yes?”
“Just—” Laina took a deep breath. “I wanted to say thank you. You and Mom gave me so much when I was growing up, and I guess I never really appreciated it.”
Conrad chuckled. “I’d say that makes you like about ninety-nine percent of offspring out there.”
“I know, but still... I’ve acted like a spoiled brat. Changing my name, refusing to stay at the estate. I guess I was able to fool myself into thinking that even though I was still going to the most exclusive island on earth, it didn’t count because I was saving for the plane ticket all year and staying at a friend’s staff cottage. Now that I think about it, it was actually kind of insulting to all the people out there who really do struggle.” She shook her head. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I just needed to make my own way. And I didn’t know how else to do it.”
“Honey...” Conrad grasped her hands. “Listen to me. I am so proud of you. You’ve always known who you are and what makes you tick, and you’ve always stayed true to your convictions.” He sat up straight. “Which gets me to thinking. If that James fellow is so bad, why don’t you teach him a thing or two? I have his number—I could set up a coffee date.”
Laina almost laughed out loud. “Thanks for the offer, but I don’t think so.” She stood up. “I should get going. But it was great seeing you, Dad.”
“You too,” he said, standing with her. “Next time not so long between visits, okay?”
She slipped out the door and closed it behind her, and then she stood on the marble landing for a minute. There was so much to process. Her father’s approval, James rescinding his offer to buy Hibiscus Heights, her blueprints. Why would James probe for information about them? Did he want to try to make things up to her by using her idea for his resort? But he’d never even laid eyes on them, and how would he complete his project without owning Hibiscus Heights? And did he ever stop trying?
No, Laina realized. James hadn’t stopped trying to win her back since she’d unleashed her fury on him at the rehearsal dinner. Now that he no longer had any vested interest in her or her family, he’d proved his sincerity. But what if he’d been sincere about his ignorance the entire time, but had finally given up on her because he simply couldn’t take the rejection anymore?
Laina pulled her phone out of her handbag and gave it a quick glance. Of course there was no message from him—she’d made it clear she didn’t want to hear from him. So he’d listened to her, and who could blame him? After the way she’d treated him, she deserved it.
Oh, God. What have I done?
Propelling herself off the landing, Laina ran to her car and pulled the door open. This was a conversation she needed to have in person, and with a little luck he was still here. Where had her father said they met today? The St. Regis.
She turned her car toward downtown and hit the gas.
Standing at his darkening hotel room window holding his cell phone, James stared down at the passing pedestrians on the street below him. It was a ridiculous way for him to spend his time, looking out for a face he knew he wouldn’t see, but he’d made himself a deal. Here in Laina’s city, tonight and only tonight, he would allow himself to remember her. He would relive every detail of their magical time together—that first kiss on the boat, their earth-shattering encounters in the forest, in his bed, on the beach, and the moment he’d known he was deeply and madly in love with her.
And then, when tomorrow morning came and he got on a plane to head back home, he’d force himself to forget her forever. He’d get on with his life and somehow find meaning in it without her. He knew the truth now, even if he didn’t accept it: Laina was never coming back to him.
It had been three hours since James had climbed the steps to Laina’s office and found the door locked. He’d known she worked on her own, but he hadn’t realized that really did mean on her own—she didn’t even have an assistant. He’d waited over an hour for her, tolerating furtive glances from passing strangers. At one point he’d stepped into a neighboring business to ask about the usual opening hours of Rose Architecture, but they’d claimed ignorance. Finally, as the other offices began to expel their staff at the end of the day, he’d written her a note on a Post-it and stuck it to her door.
I’m sorry I missed you, but I had to try you in person. Please call me. There’s something I want to do, but I need your permission first. James
James looked down at his cell phone for the hundredth time, as if a message from her may have materialized from nowhere. Then he hurled it across the room onto his bed. This was fucking stupid. So he’d done the right thing—rescinded his offer to her parents, scrapped the development, and even ended his partnership with Jennifer for good to avoid any crossed lines in the future. It was nothing he shouldn’t have done a long time ago. And it didn’t change the fact that Laina wasn’t going to call him, that his shiny new idea wasn’t going to win her back, and that there was no reason for him to wait around here any longer like a goddamned fool.
He was never going to see her again.
He looked at his watch, and then he walked over to the desk and grabbed his iPad. There were still plenty of flights back to Miami tonight, and nothing was holding him here. He booked his flight, hurriedly packed his suitcase and left his room.
As he strode down the hallway toward the elevators, the last line he’d written on his note to Laina blinked in his head like a siren. How long had he stood there debating back and forth before finally going with his heart and scribbling it down?
PS I dream about you every night.