You’re late, bitch.
The text from Jaya came through at the exact moment Sierra was paying for her bakery purchases. Cookies ’n cream cupcakes alone wouldn’t suffice. She needed red velvet today. While she was at it, a chocolate marshmallow couldn’t hurt and she also wouldn’t mind a carrot. Some cream cheese frosting right about now might just hit the spot.
But Jaya’s text sent her crashing down from whatever sugar high she’d been set to go on. Forgetting their dinner plans in Knoxville, she’d done everything in reverse. She’d gone straight from the park to the bakery, intending to double back to her house and stay in for the night. Everest was with her, her leash tied to a post in front of the store as she munched happily on a courtesy dog biscuit. How soon she had forgotten the girl-talk dinner she’d organized herself just that morning.
At least Jaya had been running errands out that way, regardless of their dinner plans. If Jaya had gone to Knoxville just to meet her and Sierra was a no-show, she would have felt even worse.
Sorry. Everything went wrong today. I’m still in Green Valley and I’m not even dressed. Some things happened. They’re not good.
Seconds after Sierra pressed “send,” bouncing bubbles took over her phone screen and indicated Jaya’s reply.
Clint Grissom? Jaya wanted to know.
It was a logical guess. Things had been going so well with Forrest, the only one she’d vented to Jaya about lately was Grissom. Every good-faith attempt she’d made to help on the fire investigation, he’d shot down. He’d even taken to scrutinizing her other work. Just that morning, he’d shown up at Greenbrier, unannounced, and grilled her about her watering system pilot. With the questions he asked and the way he asked them, she got the distinct impression he wanted to shut it down.
Things went sideways with Forrest, she wrote back, instead of explaining any of that. It deepened the ache in her chest to write the words. Jaya’s response came in right away.
I’ll order takeout. Meet me at my place in an hour.
Just forty minutes later, parked outside of Jaya’s place, Sierra sat in her idling car, eating cupcakes with Everest next to her. Her dog didn’t seem to judge her for the sad songs playlist but she did seem grateful that Sierra had cranked the air-conditioning up. With every delicious bite, Sierra mulled over how things had gone upside down so quickly. When she’d called Jaya that morning, she’d had visions of boy talk over dinner, of finally admitting there was something serious happening between her and Forrest, and giggling through post-game replays of how good he was in bed.
How hard the fall, she thought miserably, folding up the spent paper of the red velvet and mulling over which one she ought to try next. She knew Jaya would be back with dinner, and Jaya always picked something good. But the siren call of the chocolate marshmallow was proving to be too loud.
I really should’ve gotten some milk, Sierra was busy thinking as she bit into chocolate goodness, closing her eyes to better experience the ecstasy of the first bite. When a hard knock sounded on the driver’s-side window, she nearly jumped out of her skin.
“Holy hell,” she said around a mouth full of cupcake when she set her eyes on Jaya’s face, which managed to achieve a half-alarmed, half-wacky look.
“Okay … What are you doing?” Jaya wanted to know the second Sierra stepped out of her car. It took Sierra a minute to brush off all the crumbs. Some of the gooier, chocolatier crumbs smudged on her uniform shirt in a way that would stain if she didn’t stay on top of washing it. Apparently, today was her day.
“Eating my feelings,” Sierra admitted miserably, holding up the half-dozen cupcake box which only had three left.
“C’mon,” Jaya coaxed, leading her into her home, which was really Jennifer Winston’s mother’s home. Jaya was renting it as an Airbnb. As they walked deeper inside, Sierra was calmed by the aroma of something tangy and something fried. Hand it to Jaya to know what to do.
“You got any bourbon?”
“That depends,” said Jaya. “Are you sleeping here tonight?”
“As in, get drunk and pass out? Probably.”
“What the hell happened?” Jaya demanded, beginning to pull takeout boxes out of the bag. “This morning you made it sound like something happened. Something good. I thought you guys did the deed. Are you already broken up?”
Sierra flopped onto a barstool and groaned. “I don’t know. I mean, were we ever really together? Was whatever we were doing really defined?”
“No talking in code. Tell me what happened.”
Sierra sighed. “He caught me in a lie.”
Over scallion pancakes, Sierra spilled most of the sordid tale, about Jake Stapleton and how it was conceivable that he could have been viewed as a suspect. Over fried rice, she talked about telling Forrest, and how he’d reacted when he found out. Over kung pao chicken, she speculated on what Forrest would do next. He’d asked her for the coordinates of Jake’s camp and said he would “pay Jake a visit” in the morning. That seemed like code for something bad.
“I know I shouldn’t care so much. I mean, I obviously can’t be with this guy. He and I are just too different. It doesn’t matter in our own little world, when the boundaries of our existence are the park, but in the real world, when there’s something important at stake, it does.
“He looks at Jake Stapleton and he sees a bad egg, without even knowing him personally. I look at Jake Stapleton and I see a kid whose real story is worth me finding out. I think I didn’t tell Forrest because, on some level, I knew Forrest would turn suspicion right on him.”
“You think Forrest is pro-establishment,” Jaya concluded.
It made Sierra miserable to admit. “Don’t you?”
“If he was as bad as you’re making it sound, you wouldn’t have even let him get this close. What is this really about?”
Sierra paused. Speaking the only logical conclusion would solidify what she had to do.
“It’s about being realistic. I don’t want to have to fight about this for the rest of my life.”
Jaya’s eyes widened and she stopped chewing. “The rest of your what now?”
Sierra waved it off. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah …” Jaya murmured. “I actually do.”
Before Sierra could backpedal, Jaya wiped her hands on her napkin and pinned Sierra with a “tough love” kind of look.
“Look,” Jaya began. “I’m not saying the guy’s woke, but he cares about you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have been so hurt.”
“He wasn’t hurt. He was mad.”
Jaya shook her head. “He’s hurt. Anger and sadness are two sides of the same coin, just like love and hate are parallel emotions. One gone wrong creates the capacity for the other.”
Sierra scowled, some part of her wanting to stay good and mad at Forrest, but she saw the reason in Jaya’s words. And if she got past her own anger at how quick Forrest had been to blame Jake, she could admit that what Jaya had said was true.
“So what do I tell him?”
“The truth. That you couldn’t tell him about Jake because it would have forced you to come to terms with your feelings. And that you weren’t ready to do that because you were scared. Tell him the fact that you wanted to tell him so badly was what scared you the most.”
Sierra's lip trembled. “But what if—what if he doesn’t feel the same? I mean, I know he likes me, but this is Forrest. He’s always been a showboater and a flirt. He’s got charisma coming out of his ears. Charming people is what he does.”
Jaya threw her a pitying smile, as if she were the daftest creature on earth. “I won’t deny that everyone likes Forrest. But he doesn’t lavish his attention on everyone the same. When are you going to wake up and realize the only person he flirts with is you?”
Sierra did feel dense. Maybe all the fatty calories from the cupcakes and the Chinese had gummed up the gears in her mind. But she tried her best to think. It was true; she’d never actually seen him flirt with anyone else. But they were usually in the company of men.
“I’ve asked around,” Jaya continued. “He’s not a dog. Forrest is one of the most eligible bachelors in Green Valley. Hard to land, and many have tried. He doesn’t date much, but when he does, he’s known to treat a woman right.”
“You’ve asked around?” Sierra asked incredulously.
Jaya waved her hand. “Please. This has been brewing for weeks.”
Sierra quieted long enough to process this new information. “All right. So I apologize. I tell him I’ve grown feelings. I tell him no more secrets. I come clean about Jake.”
“As a start.” Jaya nodded. “Then you go home and think about why you’ve been keeping him at arm’s length all along.”