No one reads acknowledgments, but since you got this far you might as well know who contributed to this heinous piece of work and total waste of trees.
I have to start by thanking Robert Guinsler from Sterling Lord Literistic, who duped me into writing a book in my second language. I don’t know if he really believed in my story or just wanted to get his cut as a book agent. But, dude, the joke is on you, and this horrible book is now on your conscience forever.
I would like to thank HarperCollins for picking up this book to publish. For the life of me I don’t know why a prestigious establishment like you guys would risk their reputation for this. At HarperCollins I had the privilege of meeting real people. Yes, believe it or not they don’t have automated phone service. They have real human beings who actually guided me and who had to endure my horrible English and lack of creativity to produce this book. If you think the book is bad, you should have seen the earlier drafts. I was told that many quit their jobs at Harper, quit the book industry, and gave up on life when they had to review the book. Matthew Daddona, for a year you guided and edited this book. Thank you for your patience. Jeanie Lee and Karen Richardson, I don’t know who you are but I guess you were the last two copy editors standing who tried to make sense of what I wrote. I can only imagine how you were suffering while editing this book, as you witnessed your mother language being murdered over nearly three hundred pages by a Middle Easterner like me. Now that, my friends, is real terrorism. Thank you very much.
I wanted to thank Lara Thomas Ducey, a beautiful soul and human being who really helped to transform this book from a collection of primary school–level writings into something that could be almost passable for adult-age readers. Thank you for being patient and accommodating and above all for being an amazing friend.
I didn’t realize that getting original photos and obtaining permissions and licenses would be that hard. My friend Doaa Sultan from Egypt tracked down every photographer to get that out of their cold, dead hands. Thank you for all your lovely work.
Dear beautiful reader, I appreciate you being part of my journey within the pages of this book. It was a bittersweet experience for me to relive some of those events again. Thank you, my friend. I hope you didn’t regret paying for the damn thing, or that you can find a way to claim a tax deduction come April.