Just when I thought I’d left the madness behind me, I came to America to find the Orange Menace taking over your country. Is it me? Am I bringing bad luck everywhere I go? Am I a dictator magnet?
My wife was sitting next to me as we watched Trump win. She looked at me with this incriminating stare, as if she was asking me, Is this what you brought me to?
Right between us was Nadia, our four-year-old daughter, sleeping and totally unaware of all that mess.
I looked at her and wondered if her beautiful brown skin and her curly black hair will cause her any trouble in this new country.
Did I move her from a country that would attempt to crush her will, independence, and free thought to a country that would judge her as an outsider, as an alien, as a threat?
So, America, I hope you do something about that Trump. Consider this book a warning for what is yet to come. Honestly, I am running out of places to go, and Canada is too fucking cold.
I couldn’t help but look back at the past five years, the turmoil I have gone through, and ask myself, was it really worth it?
The scene might look disturbing and the whole “Arab Spring” concept might look like it was a failure, a step backward, and an unnecessary disaster, but I don’t think I have any regrets. I have had an incredible journey. I went from being a heart surgeon to being the host of the most popular show in the region’s history. Our little one-hour weekly show exposed a whole system that was founded on fear and brutal force. I am flattered to see religious figures who were considered holy go after me. I feel tickled that military leaders were shaken to their core over a few cleverly written jokes. I managed to “get under the skin” of a baseless authority, even if it was just for a little while. In a society that is programmed to say “yes, master” I bucked the system and firmly said no. And I said it with a smirk and a wink and a nod—and that pissed the hell out of them. I did that hoping that my daughter will also follow suit. She will not be told what to do. She will grow up and if she chooses to say no it will be said without fear of being reprimanded or judged for it.
I might not be strong enough to continue to tell jokes against my oppressors right now, but maybe we were not meant to see the result or the victory that we hoped for. Maybe it was for another generation, for our children . . . for my daughter.
I see how my work inspired millions of young people around the Middle East to make their own contributions. With every video, vine, and meme, I see the youth using the Internet to challenge the hideous propaganda machine. They are finding ways to make fun of these brutal dictatorships, and in a small way I feel that my show is still going on. A revolution is not just an event, it is a long process. And the process might start with those young people losing respect for the establishments that controlled and brainwashed their parents through religion and fake nationalism. Those young people are questioning everything. Nothing is off limits and nothing is taboo anymore. Questioning in itself is a prequel to a revolution. The fall of the social, religious, and military idols that controlled the Middle East is already happening. Those idols are losing their most important asset, being respected and being revered. The young generation is not taking this bullshit again. They may rule for a while with fear and brutality but the respect is long gone. It is just a matter of time.
But again, I am no political analyst, no global thinker, and no credible source of information. And I don’t have to be any of those things to recognize that the Middle East still looks pretty messy. So now that I have some distance from my experience there and can put things into perspective, I can’t help but wonder: Was there ever any chance for the revolution to succeed? I mean, I still think it was worth it, but was there any hope at all?
And I found that the best way I can answer this question is through physics.
If you are familiar with quantum physics you might have heard of Schrödinger’s cat. This is a thought experiment in which a cat is placed in a metal box with a radioactive material and a capsule of poisonous gas. If the radioactive material decays, this will lead to the release of lethal gas that will kill the cat. But until you open the box, your knowledge of the cat’s fate is inconclusive. It could be dead, alive, or some other outcome your consciousness has yet to perceive. You won’t know until you open the box. This experiment opens the door to the idea of multiple universes with endless possibilities and scenarios. A universe with a live cat and a universe with a dead cat.
In our case, we could have had multiple scenarios, depending on power shifts and the intended or unintended consequences of each action. There could have been a multitude of universes with unlimited outcomes different from the one we are living in now. But I can firmly state that in all the possible outcomes for our universe, the one remaining constant is that the Arab world will always be fucked!