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So I'm not the only one with a life alterin' secret. J.D. is a fuckin' werewolf. Not like thinks he is, and is crazy. He actually turned into a wolf in goddamn front of me and Violet. Which of course outed my being female issue completely. The best part of this nightmare? Apparently the thing that grabbed me was one too, which means that Jimmy's whole gang is probably the same fuckin' thing, and so am I! Fuck! Shit! Damn it to all Hell!
Seems he even suspected it but didn't tell me because until the horse reacted he couldn't tell. He's defective, got nothing for a sense of smell. Say's that the senses get heightened, which explains the last few days to me. Why I felt like I could feel the trail, hear all those animals so much better. Why the food smelled so good raw and bloodied. I just thought I'd been on the trail too long and was startin' to lose my wits cuz I was gettin' closer to my goals.... Jesus Christ!
***
“IT'S HARD BEFORE THE first turn. The moon has its pull stronger then. After that you can control it. Keep it in check or unleash it at will. It can come in handy, but your horse is gonna need coaxing. He senses the wolf and is scared. He needs to be reassured you won't hurt him.” He pauses a moment. “Are you even listening?”
“I hear you J.D., I'm just havin' a hard time of it. You gotta give me some time to deal with this.”
“Like the time you let me think I was something I wasn't because you were pretending to be something you’re not?”
“That's not fair, I lied to protect myself from harm.”
“And I haven't? You could decide to murder me in my sleep because I'm a monster.”
“So am I.”
J.D. sighs heavily. “You know what I mean. I'm not angry because I'd already resigned myself to how I feel about you. You're the closest thing to a best friend I've ever had, and more. I can't say I forgive you for lyin' about being a man, because I get it and there's nothin' to forgive. I just hope you can feel that way too.”
Fuck, he's got a point and I hate that. I want to be mad at him. I want to shoot him in the foot to be precise. Just a toe, he'd be okay. I pull my colt and shoot at the ground just grazin' the tip of his boot. He jumps up with a yowl. I missed, but I feel better and that's all that really counts.
***
SO WE MADE A DEAL. J.D. will teach me what it is to be a wolf and I in turn will teach him what it is to carry those big guns he admitted he had never had to use. He is a rancher and a mechanic. He once worked on the wind turbines that littered the wind belt in the lower valleys, pushing electricity across the New Western States. But times were still tight and his wolf had wanted to roam after the death of Molly and Melissa. That's what had him headin' out to California, picking up work here and there.
He'd only used his guns to shoot bottles and was only an okay shot. I promised to fix that and he promised to make sure I wouldn't have to deal with my first change alone. I took a weird sort of comfort in that.
He explained to me about the issue with his sense of smell, and told me how he blamed himself for his family. I listened intently as he told Violet and I the truth of it. It really wasn't his fault of course. But it was hard to convince him of that. For his honesty I came clean about the photo of Mike. Even cried a bit, couldn't be helped. But what can you do? I loved him and I lost him, I earned the right to cry for him.
***
WE ARE ALL SITTIN' around the fire, which has begun to blaze and makes me a little nervous. He can see it and comes and sits beside me. Puttin' an arm around me, he motions for Violet to come do the same. Havin' them both so close is odd, and mildly erotic.
“It's okay. The sudden fear of the fire is natural. Just as the horse being scared is natural. Your wolf has its own instincts and fire happens to be one thing that it fears. But only at first.”
I lean into them both. It is strange to feel so vulnerable in front of others. But again sort of nice. It has been so long, since I put on the tough guy act. I sort of miss bein' the other me. I don’t say anythin' and they both seem okay in that.
***
IT TAKES US ABOUT ANOTHER week to make it through to the next outpost in Lower Angels. It used to be a part of the Great Los Angeles Valley, but the people changed it years back. I'm guessin' they were tired of all that spellin’ but what would I know? I only half listened to mamma when she was teachin' history. I always wanted to be outside. Such was my education. Anyways that week puts us just two days before the full moon. We've been together a month, J.D. and me. Time has a way of flyin' when you’re chasin' ghosts. I send Violet and J.D. off to the hotel with some cash I got at the bank.
Bein' a Bounty Hunter pays well, and I never miss a deposit, so anywhere there's a bank I can get money. One of the perks of the New West. We didn't lose all of our technology. I mean we don't have laser guns like the yanks and south Easter’s but they also were still huntin' oil and gas to keep runnin'. We harness wind and solar and now with California open, there's opportunity to invest in aqua power, and plenty of work buildin' the machines to get it up and runnin'.
I'm headed over to the Sheriff's office to announce my arrival, like I do at any law abidin' post. We Bounty Hunters are independent, but there are some laws we have to abide by. If a bounty says alive for instance and we kill without witness of aggression we have to pay a hefty fine and sometimes find ourselves doin' a few days in jail. I didn't think that my little knifin' in Columbine Spring would travel so fast, but no sooner have I walked in than I am tossed in a cell. I try to explain who I am and whatnot but they don’t want to hear it. They have me on description for a murder and they are gonna keep me until the Marshall comes in on Tuesday. The Problem. It's Saturday.