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They are all just starin' at me and my hand. I am feelin' very exposed all of a sudden. “What's the starin' for?”
“When were you nipped?” Maria asks me soundin' really confused.
“Like seven, eight months ago now. Before that I was what you call a normal. Had a job, a husband, and parents. Lost all that. Got a new vocation and after three years of that I got nipped, been downhill ever since,” I answer straightly. Was no use in mincin' words. I am less than thrilled with my whole situation as of late. I am startin' to regret these people, yet I feel at home with them as much as I did with Violet and J.D. It is just a different kind of home. A very uncomfortable home, as they are quiet, and starin'.
“Why ya’ll lookin' at me like I shot yer horse?”
“We were all under the impression that you were Wereborn like the rest of us.
“Uhh... No. Didn't know that happened until I met Aiolos and all of you.”
I ain’t used to bein' the very center of the conversation. I often try super hard to be the least noticeable one in any talk... Now I know why. It's fuckin' uncomfortable to hafta answer all the questions, not actually havin' any good answers. Really fuckin' uncomfortable. I think I'd rather be force fed sand and water.
“You're not kiddin' with us?” Davis asks with wide eyes.
Yeah, most definitely, take the sand and water. “Wish you'd all just spit out why you're all amazed and whatnot. Cuz ya’ll are makin' me mighty squeamish.” I stand up holdin' on to myself, their eyes feel like embers from the fire burnin' me all over.
“There are stories about wolves like you. It just doesn't happen often. Wereborns whose wolf is called by a nipping. Most don't survive it. But those that do are said to be Natural Alphas. Callin' the wolves to um.” Maria tries to explain. Standin' and comin' over to me. She looks me in the eyes, and smiles. Then nods to the group. “Your eyes glow blue as fire. Most of our eyes change color when we stress. Usually goldens and greens regardless of color. But Natural Alphas? They keep their true colors.” She squeezes my shoulder softly. “It's nothing to be afraid of. You've always been something of a leader, yes?”
I nod.
“This is why. You were born to this. One of your parents must have been a wolf or at least descended from them. They might not have known themselves. Were either of your parents orphaned?”
“My mother. Her parents died trying to get to Neutah during the war. She was found on the steps of a fire house.”
“Smart to hide her among the Normals. She was probably where you got it then.”
My heart jumps, and I turn to them “You said that a violent death can call the wolf. My mother died in a most violent way. Could she be alive now?”
“Only if she were intact. How violent?”
My heart shatters again. “It was a mess, a pack of men who I have since found out were wolves tore the shop apart. My parents included for trying to help.”
“The odds of you and your mother surviving a nipping are astronomical. I'm sorry Danny.” Orion hugs me as I sit. I lean into his arms and cry. The entire group of them pile on to me. Trying to console me, knocking me off of my feet. To say this is an affectionate group is puttin' it softly. It is awkward, but they eventually have me laughin' and feelin' more like myself.
***
“WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO be a Natural Alpha?” I sit with Maria who like me sleeps very little these nights. The boys, as she and I have fallen to callin' ’em are huddled up together in wolf form to keep their heat. The mountain pass we took into Barin Island is cold at night. Fur is helpful. I've been avoidin' the transformation, afraid I will lose myself again. I can’t afford to do that, not with so many relyin' on me now.
She lets out a small laugh “To ask me that, is to ask me what it's like to be a man. Without the experience I couldn't really tell you.”
“I know what that's like. I've lived as one for a couple years. It's how I managed to become a Bounty Hunter. It's the Alpha thing I don't get. Why can't I just say no and be done with it?”
“I know this. The wolf is a pack animal. Normals are truly pack animals too. Sure they go times alone, but flourish and are their most true selves when together. It is the same of the wolves, the Coyotes too. Some are born to lead, others to follow. For the Natural Alpha its leading quality is said to have mystical properties.”
“How do you mean? Who says these things?”
“My people. They spoke of the coming of a lone she wolf. That this wolf would be a Natural Alpha that she would bring the lone wolves together. They would be drawn to her and her to them until she had found her pack. There is talk that she would be able to make any wolf submit to her will. Even other Alphas. That none would be able to refuse her. That she would fight for those wronged and eventually bring an end to the feuds of the Werenations.”
“That's a lot to ask of a stranger,” I quip.
“It is legend, but one must remember that all legends are steeped in some fact. Even if minuscule.”
“I'll do well to remember that. I think I'm gonna try and get some sleep.” I get up from the fire and go over to the sleepin’ bag Blaine had given me. No sooner than my head hits the pillow than a sleep of darkness and cold takes over. Ah sweet oblivion.
***
I WAKE UP WELL BEFORE sunrise to find that I am comfortable and warm. Surrounded by everyone, who had piled on me in the night. Their fur is soft against me and for the first time in a long time I feel safe. There is a sense that this is what family is supposed to be. Everyone lookin’ out for each other. Not like I have been livin', everyone out for themselves. It is a different way of thinkin' and it scares me. I pull myself out from the pile and walk down to the water’s edge. The beauty of nature and the mountains is all around us. Barin Bay is a small detour from San Francisco, but has access to the Port if we can find the paths.
Accordin' to Maria, her family once ran free through the parks that had been maintained by Normals until the war. Now it is over grown and taken back by the land. Statues and buildings are in ruin, trees and moss cover everythin’ in waves. The water is clear blue. I've never seen anythin’ like it. The shores in Los Angeles are pretty, but crowded so I stay away. Besides I'm not a good swimmer. I strip down and wade into the water just deep enough to cover my girlie wiles and then dip my head under. It feels good. The cool water helps to loosen my aching muscles. The sun is comin' up over the backs of the trees. I find an outcroppin' and settle against it, lettin' the sun shine down on me. I let out a heavy sigh, feelin' at peace.