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Luke
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WHEN BREE HAD CALLED yesterday, I’d been thrilled. It was hard to stay away from her. I found myself sitting outside on the small patio in front of the cottage. I kept looking towards the house, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. With the shrubs and the trees, it was impossible. I may as well have been three blocks away. I had a feeling that was why Paul wanted me there. I would be nearby, but he could keep an eye on me. He said he gave us his blessing to be together, but I got the feeling he wasn’t really on board with it. He had said what he needed to say to make Bree happy.
I walked around the pool and through the back door. The housekeeper was in the kitchen, earbuds in and singing her little heart out. I waved at her and headed for the dining room. Bree was alone at the table, the room completely silent. The only noise was the sound of the housekeeper singing.
“Hey,” I greeted.
“Hi.”
“Where’s your dad?” I asked, surprised he wasn’t with her.
“He had to go out of town for a couple days.”
“Oh,” I said with surprise. I assumed that meant I was officially on duty. Paul could have given me a heads up.
“You don’t have to stay here in the house,” she said.
“Are you sure? Your dad said there was a guest room.”
“I’m positive. I’m not an invalid. I need to start getting used to being alone.”
“Do you still want to talk to Ellis?” I asked.
She offered me a small smile. “I do. I am willing to hear her out.”
“She’ll be here in an hour,” I reminded her.
“Great. I’m going to go shower then. Help yourself to breakfast.”
I watched her walk out, happy to see she seemed to be in better spirits. I hoped that meant she was willing to listen to Ellis. I had noticed she seemed to be a lot more guarded when her dad was around. I knew Paul loved her, cherished her and maybe babied her just a little too much. She wasn’t fragile. I had a feeling she was struggling to be the independent woman she was, but her father’s need to control and run her life was making it difficult. She told me she didn’t want to disappoint him. I understood that and respected it, but she needed to stand up for herself and do what was best for her.
Picking up the dishes, I carried them into the kitchen. Ellis arrived ten minutes early. I already had Bree seated in the living room, wanting her to be as comfortable as possible.
“Good morning Bree,” Ellis greeted her.
Bree got to her feet. “Hi. Thank you so much for coming.”
Ellis reached for Bree’s hand and gave it a squeeze. I watched Bree closely. I felt like I knew her better than I knew myself some days. She relaxed a little. I stepped next to her and gently pulled her down to the couch. Ellis sat in the chair across from us.
“Thank you for giving me the chance to talk to you a little more about this surgery. I know it sounds terrifying and I suppose if it were my eyes and my face, I would be a little afraid as well.”
Bree nodded. “Just a little. Why do you think you can do this surgery and no one else can?”
“I know I can because I’ve done it before. I’ve watched it done. I’ve done it a hundred times in the simulator. It will become standard procedure one day, but it has to start somewhere. We have the technology, in fact, we’ve had it for some time. It’s just about tweaking a few things to make the procedure work for situations like yours.”
Bree was chewing on her lip. I could see her nervousness. “How many times has it not worked?”
Ellis looked at me. I nodded, telling her to be honest. Bree needed all the facts. “I don’t have the exact percentage, but I would think it’s about twenty percent.”
I winced. That was a pretty high number. “What does that mean?” I asked. “The patients didn’t get their sight back or what?”
“In a few cases, their sight improved slightly, but they did not regain twenty-twenty vision. In some situations, only one eye regained sight.”
Bree seemed to be taking it all in stride. “And what about complications?”
I resisted the urge to take Bree’s hand in mine. I knew this was the biggest concern. She had good reason to be worried. Ellis looked at me, her eyes going wide. I nodded, encouraging her to answer the question.
“There are potential complications, most are mild. There is a chance there could be retina separation, but that can generally be fixed with another surgery. There can be allergic reactions to the saline.”
“Death?” Bree whispered. “Is death a complication?”
“Bree, death is extremely rare and it wouldn’t be caused by this procedure.”
“But it can happen?”
“It’s never happened on my watch,” Ellis told her. “Any time anesthesia in involved, there are risks. But since you’ve successfully had anesthesia, I wouldn’t be worried about a problem of that nature.” “I understand that this is a terrifying thing to go through. And you have been through a lot. I’ve read your file, but I would like to know you, the person. I’m not trying to push you into this because I’m a doctor, but because I can see the life in you. Luke has given me some background about you and I can see a smart young, beautiful vibrant woman in there, fighting to get out. Your blindness has imprisoned you and it doesn’t have to.”
Bree slowly nodded. “If I get the surgery, you mean?”
“No! Even if you choose not to get the surgery, you do not have to live in that prison. I worked at the Institute for the Blind, shadowing some of the best doctors in the world. It wasn’t all about bringing the blind into the seeing world, but helping the blind adapt to life in their world. The key is live. Not feel like they were stuck or that their lives were over. Some of the people in there didn’t have the option for a surgery. Some had been through numerous surgeries with no more hopes of regaining sight.”
Bree took a deep breath. “You’re saying I need to appreciate the fact I have a chance. A slim chance, but a chance and others would kill to have that chance.”
Ellis softly laughed. “I like that you are a straight shooter, so I’ll be straight with you. In a nutshell, yes. This is a real chance for you. A chance that everybody doesn’t get.”
Bree seemed to respond to that. “I appreciate the honesty. I can’t give you an answer right this minute but you have given me a lot to think about.”
We talked for another ten minutes before I walked Ellis to the door. “Thank you for coming by.”
“You’re welcome. I like her. She’s a fighter. She’s going to have to be a fighter to get through this no matter what she chooses to do. You’ll be here for her?”
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
“Let her know that this isn’t a fix, this is just an opportunity to see again. She isn’t broken. You need to make sure she understands that.”
“I know. I will. I’m trying.”
Ellis put a hand on my arm. “Good. I have no doubt that she’s in good hands.”
I went back to the living room to find Bree leaning back against the couch. “Is she gone?” Bree asked.
“She is.”
“She’s nice.”
I took the seat Ellis had been in. “She is nice. Do you feel any different about the surgery?”
She blew out a breath. “I don’t know.”
“The risks seem pretty minimal compared to the potential reward,” I told her.
“I suppose.”
She was shutting down. I didn’t understand what was happening. She’d been engaged with Ellis. She had sounded interested. She sounded like she really wanted to do the surgery. “What’s going on here?” I asked her.
“Nothing.”
“Bree, don’t do that. Don’t shut down on me. What’s going through your mind?”
She put her hands over her face. “Do you want me to get the surgery because that will make me more attractive? Make me worthy of being with you?”
My jaw dropped. “What? What are you talking about?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t have the right to unburden my soul on you. You’re my caregiver. Nothing more.”
“Bree that is not true. Not true at all. I am here for you.”
“You’re here, but you’re here as my caregiver, not my boyfriend.”
I regretted giving into the desire. I should have kept my hands to myself. She didn’t need any extra stress. “I may not be your official boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I still feel the same way. None of that has changed.”
“Would me being able to see make it easier on you? Like for us to be together?”
I got up and moved to sit beside her. “No. The only thing that would be easier on me is for you to be in a good place. I don’t care if you can see that place or not. I want you in a good place up here.” I tapped on the side of her head. “Good headspace.”
“I’m not a basket case,” she retorted.
I so wanted to kiss her. I was dying to kiss her. “I’m not saying you’re crazy.”
“Oh, Luke, I want to do the surgery, I really do, but I am having a hard time believing it’s as easy as she says it is. I don’t understand why no one else can do it. She swoops in with her little bat-cape to save the day. I just don’t know what to think.”
“She doesn’t wear a cape, but this is a chance. This is a chance for you to get your sight and do all those things you told me you missed doing. If you truly don’t want to do it, then I’m okay with that. I will talk to your father about replacing me and you and I can see where things go.”
“You guys have given me a lot to think about.”
I laughed. “Good. That was the goal. You need all the information. You need to be able to weigh the pros and cons and come up with your decision. Please, feel free to talk to me about anything. Sometimes it helps just to say what’s on your mind. You can tell me anything. We were friends before anything else, right? Can we still be friends while we navigate this thing?”
“I would like to be your friend,” she said with a smile. “I’ll make up my mind. I promise. I’m close, but can I just have another day or two to think on it. Besides, I’m sure I have to be healthy before I can get surgery anyway. I still have this cold lingering.”
I frowned, so glad she couldn’t see me at that moment. She didn’t sound like she had a cold. I hoped she wasn’t planning to use that as an excuse. “I’m not sure a cold will keep you from eye surgery, but we will absolutely talk to Ellis about it if you choose to go that way. You don’t have to do it right away. If this cold kicks into gear, then we wait until you’re over it.”
“Hopefully, it doesn’t go to pneumonia.”
I burst into laughter, assuming she was joking. The look on her face said she was serious. “You’re going to be fine. Trust me. You’ve got me as your nurse and I won’t let you get pneumonia.”
“Did they pass out capes in that med school of yours? You and Ellis both have some serious god-complexes.”
I knew she was joking then and I touched her leg. “Maybe. But I wouldn’t be doing my job if I let you get deathly ill on my watch. I’m too good at my job for that to happen.”
She groaned. “Humble, too.”
