Chapter Three: Wedding Day Bliss

Chase

I sit in the small holding room near the side entrance of the hotel in a black tux. I told Ava I had a chapel reserved for our wedding ceremony. But once she agreed to marry me, I knew she deserved so much more than a scripted performance in a wedding chapel. I had to call nearly everyone I knew to pull this off, and I owe Barton my life. He knows someone who knows someone at the Bellagio and was able to make this happen.

Dad and Mom flew in for the wedding. They’ve been vacationing in the south of France. They never wanted children and as soon as I was old enough to go to boarding school, they took off and continued their life, childless. I hold no ill feelings toward either of them. I met some amazing kids and thankfully, their parents took a liking to me. My parents took care of me financially, and I was thankful for that. I had my family’s money, and my friends’ parents provided the nurturing and love I didn’t get from home. I don’t feel too bad about my upbringing. But maybe my upbringing was one reason why I was reluctant to tell Ava I love her. That is something I definitely feel bad about. Since I know what not to do, I’m in a better position to give Ava everything she needs and wants.

Ava asks and expects nothing from anyone. So, starting today, right this minute, I vow to make her life amazing — as amazing as she is, if that’s even possible.

“Chase, they’re ready,” Marshall says. 

I stand and inhale deeply. I’m not nervous, but I am fearful about screwing up my wedding vows. I think it’s impossible to verbally tell Ava how I feel about her, so I vow to show her for the rest of her life how much I love her. 

I walk out into the courtyard that overlooks the water show. The ceremony must be perfectly timed and everything has to go as planned for this to be executed. I want this to be something Ava will feel in the deepest part of her soul for years to come.

I follow the white runner sprinkled with red rose petals to the front of the podium. Mom, Dad, and Claire are our only guests. I wouldn’t have cared if it were just Ava and me present. I wait, staring at the entrance and waiting for my bride to appear. When the door opens, I watch as Drew escorts Skylar down the makeshift aisle before taking his spot beside me as my best man. 

The music plays, announcing my bride. I stand straighter and taller. Ava and her dad walk toward me to the sound of the traditional “Wedding March” from Felix Mendelssohn’s music for A Midsummer Night’s Dream. She’s wearing a white Cinderella-style, princess ball gown, with a sweetheart neckline. She’s holding two red roses. I squint my eyes to try to see her face hiding beneath her veil. It’s futile.

I step forward to greet my bride sooner than I’m supposed to. I hold her hands, expecting her to be shaking but she’s as calm as I am. When you know something is right, I guess calmness settles within your core. The preacher doesn’t ask who is giving the bride away because Claire and Marshall aren’t giving her to anyone. Ava is freely joining her life with mine. Marshall takes his seat beside his wife, and Ava and I move the few feet to stand in front of the podium.

We didn’t discuss wedding vows, but I already had the words embedded in my heart. I just needed the right time to say them to her.

Ava goes first. She faces me as we hold hands. “Chase, the feeling hit me the moment we first made eye contact. It was so immediate and powerful—far deeper and inexplicably beyond any calculation of time and place. You can’t describe a feeling like that. You also can’t replicate it or force it. You just let it flow in and around you. You follow where it takes you, and I cannot wait to love you every day for the rest of my life.”

I swallow. This is really happening. There’s no way I can compete with her words. Now it’s my turn. “Ava, I see these vows not as promises but as a privilege. I get to laugh with you and cry with you, care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk beside you, build with you and live with you. But mostly, I get to celebrate your triumphs, and I cannot wait to love you every day for the rest of my life.” 

I try to peek beneath her wedding veil and she swats my hand away. I reach into my breast pocket and remove the wedding bands. I chose our bands and now I wish I had checked with her before making the lone decision on which rings to get. I chose the gold and diamond infinity matching wedding bands because I’ll be in love with her forever. When I finally place the ring on her finger, she seems pleased with my decision.

“I love it,” she whispers.

Finally, I’m instructed to kiss my bride. I lift her veil and reveal my beautiful bride. “You look absolutely stunning,” I say. She blushes. I lift both of her hands and step back to admire the full package. She’s breathtaking. I spin her around so I can see her from all angles. Everyone laughs, except Ava and me. Now I understand why she hid her beautiful face beneath the veil; I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate on anything else. When she completes her turn, I bring her to me and kiss her.

As soon as we are introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Chase Braxton Murphy, I kiss her again. The fountain lights up, the water sprays and dances to the song “A Thousand Years.” Ava watches in amazement, and I watch Ava; I can’t take my eyes off of her. As soon as the song is over, the display of fireworks begin. Ava’s face lights up, not from the lighting, but with happiness. Her eyes sparkle and her face glows.

“I love you more than life.” She looks at me and brushes away the single tear that escapes my eye. I’m not ashamed to cry, and I’m not ashamed to show her how much I love her. “There’s isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

I watch her as the fireworks continue over our heads reflecting off the now calm water of the fountain. She looks up at me with a serious look on her face. “I have something for you,” she says. I watch as she unties a wedding band from the silk ribbon on her small bouquet. She slides the wedding ring onto my ring finger. It’s a wide solid-gold band that complements the band I bought to match hers. “This is because I should have married you first.” She cries and I wipe the tears from her cheek. “I love you more than you could ever imagine.”

“Ava, I will always love you.” 

After the fireworks, Mom and Dad congratulate us and Dad hands me an envelope before leaving. They have a flight to catch and they’re worried they’ll miss it. I tuck the envelope in the breast pocket of my tux. I already know the envelope holds a check for a significant amount of money. I call it a guilt-free gift. It’s their way of feeling less guilty for not being here for me. Whatever helps them to sleep better at night. I’m sure Ava and I will find good use for the money. I do wish they would get to know my new bride.

After the fireworks and while we’re still outside, the water show starts back up again. This time the water sways to the sound of “I’m Proud to be an American.” It’s just as powerful as I remember. The lights in the fountain light up red, white, and blue. Drew stands at attention and his eyes glisten with unshed tears. Skylar stands next to him with her arm wrapped around his waist. Remembering his injuries during combat, I imagine this is more meaningful to him than to any of us. Ava, Claire, and Skylar sniffle.

“That was something,” Marshall says.

“You truly have to see it to believe it,” Drew says, wiping his eyes. 

We have dinner in a private dining room at the hotel. Marshall and Claire pre-ordered everyone’s meal so the salads are waiting for us when we’re seated. Ava smiles a lot, and I can’t recall a time when I’ve seen her so happy. I move my finger and admire both wedding rings. Since Ava placed them both on my finger, I don’t have the heart to take either of them off. So, I’ll be a man who wears two wedding bands. Why? Because my wife loves me twice as much as anyone else’s.

Our dessert is a small two-tier white cake with a bride and groom topper.

“Sorry, it’s all they had at the last minute,” Drew says.

“It’s perfect.” Ava beams.

Ava and I stand to cut the cake. I was expecting a small tiny piece that we would feed each other, but Ava has other plans. She cuts the cake in full-sized pieces. Picking up as much of the piece as she can with her fingers, she gets a mischievous grin on her face.

“That’s how you want to play?”

She nods, taking a stance like she’s getting ready to tackle.

“Okay.” I also pick up a large piece of cake. When a crumb falls, I pick it up off the table and eat it. “Mmm, this is good.” 

Skylar counts and on three Ava shoves it in my face and up my nostrils. I not so graciously smear it on her face. Everyone laughs and we stand there trying to lick the cake off of our mouths.

“This is good,” she says.

I step forward and swipe my finger across her cheek collecting as much icing as I can before eating it.

“That’s mine, get your own,” she teases. 

Marshall and Claire make a toast to the happy couple and Skylar and Drew toast to a long and happy life. Marshall hands Ava an envelope and tells her he has something to show her. I know what it is, but I was sworn to secrecy.

“You didn’t have to get us anything for our wedding.” 

Claire smiles. “It’s not really a wedding gift, just something we wanted your opinion on.”

“Do you know anything about this?” she asks, looking directly at me. Promising I would never lie to Ava, I only do what I know to do. I raise both hands and shrug my shoulders. I also shake my head. That’s not considered lying, is it? 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She smiles and opens the envelope. Inside is a folded piece of paper. When she unfolds it, she looks confused. “This is nice.” She shows everyone a picture of a pale yellow cottage-style home with a white picket fence and “haint blue” color shutters and doors.

“Your dad and I are thinking of buying it and having him retire sooner rather than later. Do you like it?” 

“I love this place. This house is a short drive from the inn. I drive past it every time I go to the store.” When she realizes they are seriously considering moving to Savannah, she squeals, “You’re moving down the street from us?” 

She stands up and hugs and kisses her parents.

“We didn’t buy it yet, Ava,” Marshall says.

“You’ll call tomorrow to make an appointment to see it, right?” 

Claire says, “Actually, we already looked at it.” 

“Then you’ll call tomorrow to place a bid on the house.” It’s not a question, but an order. 

“Yeah, I guess we will,” Marshall says. 

Ava

Chase carries me across the threshold of the honeymoon suite. My eyes follow the trail of red rose petals leading from the front door to the bedroom. The room is lit up with candles casting a soft glow throughout the room. He secures the door before he carries me into the bedroom. On the white duvet is a heart made from more red rose petals. Candles are also lit throughout the bedroom. There’s a tray of fresh fruit, cheese and crackers, and chocolate-covered strawberries sitting next to an ice bucket holding champagne, bottled water, and fruit juices. 

Chase slowly lowers me, never taking his eyes off mine. “You are absolutely exquisite.” 

How can a girl not melt at those words? “Thank you.” 

He removes the clasp that’s been holding my hair up, and my hair falls into a curtain over my back and shoulders. I can’t move. His eyes have me pinned in place. He twirls me around as he stares at me. I don’t think anyone has ever looked at me the way he does. When I make a complete turn, he lowers his head as he claims my mouth with his. We’ve never made love before and this is something I’ve wanted since I got my memory back. He fingers my zipper and gently and ever so slowly slides it down the length of my back, as if he’s unwrapping a piece of fine china. As if in slow motion, Chase ghosts his fingers up my arms and watches the dress slowly fall from my body, gathering into a pool of white tulle and satin at my feet. Holding my hands at arms’ length, he admires my body in appreciation with lust-filled eyes. In a deep husky voice, he says, “I’m going to worship every inch of your beautiful body.” And he does.

The next day we stay in bed, order room service, and make love. It’s been a wedding night to remember. He says things to me only a man in love could say. He doesn’t promise me things he can’t keep. He doesn’t promise me the moon and the stars or unicorns and rainbows. He does promise to be true to me and to love me every single day of my life. He promises me to never hurt me and to forever be my best friend. He also promises me bumps in the road and curvy turns in a not-so-smooth ride that he’ll try to smooth over as quickly and efficiently as he can. And you know what? I believe him.

He opens up the envelope from his mom and dad, and I’m surprised at the amount of the check.

“Unless you need this, we’ll bank it until we decide what to do with it,” he says.

“No, I don’t have anything I need to purchase.” 

 He folds up the check and puts it in his wallet. “We’ll make the deposit when we get home.” 

At dusk, we decide to have dinner with our family and friends.

“We have some news. I’m not so sure Chase will think it’s good news, though,” Dad says.

“You got the house?” I squeal.

Mom says, “We got a call a little while ago, and they accepted our offer.” 

I look at Chase and he’s smiling. “That’s great news. I guess that makes us neighbors.” He reaches his hand out to my dad.

“Not meddling neighbors either,” Mom says. “I promise to give you your space. I just want to be able to see my daughter from time to time.” 

I know that when I was married to Connor I wasn’t allowed to see my parents or anyone else for that matter. And this is Mom’s way to make sure that I’m all right. I wonder if the fear she feels will ever go away. Chase is not Connor; I feel it down to my core that he could never hurt me. Hopefully, Mom will see it in time, too.

Chase says, “You’re free to come over as often as you want.” 

“Thank you, Chase. I’ll try to remember to call first.” 

“Claire, you never need to be invited or announce your arrival. Our door will also be open for you or anyone else who wants to come over.” 

Mom looks at him with relief. “Thank you, Chase.” 

After dinner, we go to the casino and gamble. The girls play slots, while Drew and Dad play the tables. Chase and I walk around, taking in the view. Even in the casino it’s breathtakingly beautiful. I’ve never seen such elegant décor in my entire life.

I hold his hand and lean into him. “I’m having a great time; thank you for planning such an amazing trip.” 

He lowers his head and kisses me. “You’re not disappointed about not planning your own wedding or having a say in anything?”

“I had a say in the most important part.” 

He looks confused. “What was that?” 

“I said, yes.” 

After dinner I ask Drew if I can talk to him in private. Everyone remains at the table as we walk out into the foyer.

“What’s up?” he asks.

“I feel like I owe you an explanation.” 

He looks confused.

“About what?”

“Xander.” 

He swallows at the sound of his brother’s name. “I’m listening.” 

“I liked Xander a lot. I may have even loved him.” I choose my words carefully. “I know this wedding seems fast, but the truth is, I didn’t know how I felt about Chase until my memory returned. But that doesn’t mean my feelings toward your brother weren’t real, because they were.” 

“Ava.” He takes a step forward. “I know that you cared for Xander; I never doubted that. He would want this for you. I know that he would want you to be happy.” 

“Thank you.” 

Over the next month, we’re busy trying to find Chase a building he can use as an office for his law firm. We’re also trying to get Mom and Dad moved into their new house, and making our separate lives work as one. The small living quarters that Skylar and I shared, we are now sharing with Drew and Chase. Although I wouldn’t have it any other way, it’s proven to be more difficult than I thought. I guess Skylar and I didn’t think it through when we decided to buy the inn. The inn definitely takes both of us to run, which means we both need to be in close proximity to it.

Chase says while opening his beer, “I think I might have a solution to the crowded living quarters.” 

Drew pretends to squeeze through the kitchen as he opens the refrigerator to get himself a beer. “Crowded? I don’t know what you mean.” 

“It’s not terribly uncomfortable here, but it does tend to be a little cramped at times.” Skylar takes a seat at the bar stool and sips her glass of rosé wine. “It could be worse. Makes you appreciate that we all get along.” She giggles.

“That’s for sure,” I say, laughing at Skylar. “What’s your idea, Chase?” 

“We have the carriage house out back that’s just taking up space.” 

“You want to tear it down?” I ask, trying to hide my disappointment. I like that old building. Not many homes have a carriage house anymore. Obviously, this is a rare find in any state across the United States, considering that carriage houses started out as buildings that were used for horse-drawn carriages before being converted into a dwelling.

“I’d like to restore it and turn it into a livable space for Ava and me.” He tries to judge my reaction before continuing. “We could keep the outside as close to its original state as possible, but change the inside to make it a two-bedroom house. The living quarters at the inn will be yours and Drew’s.” 

“Can you do that?” Skylar asks. 

Drew says, “People do things like that all the time.” 

“I personally can’t. But we can hire someone who can. Like Drew said, people restore old barns and houses all the time.” 

“You already have the structure, utilities, and plumbing onsite.” Drew talks directly to Chase. 

I look at Drew, Chase, and then Skylar. “That isn’t cheap. We don’t have the extra money to do that.” 

“We still have the wedding gift from my parents. We could use that.” 

Skylar says sadly, almost as if she’s embarrassed, “I don’t have that kind of money, Chase. I’m sorry. There’s no way I’ll be able to help pay for that.” 

“I wouldn’t expect you to pay for it, Skylar. But I do think it’s a necessity for us. What if we get an estimate to see if this is even a possibility for us?” 

“I think it’s a great idea. It’ll add value to the property,” I say.

“I’m pretty good with this kind of stuff. I’d be glad to help in anyway I can.” 

Chase nods. “Thanks, Drew. I appreciate that.”

Chase

This should be the last trip we make to Lake City. We found a building to lease for the law firm, and I’ve moved the last of my things out of the condo.

“As soon as some people from the women’s shelter come to pick up the items from the storage unit, we’ll be ready to go.”

Ava holds my hand and I add, “We’ll take this truckload back to Savannah and our ties to Lake City will be done.” 

“I’m ready to move on to the next chapter. It’ll be nice to not have to make the trip here anymore.” 

“Now, we can focus on the renovations on the carriage house.” I hold Ava’s hand and notice her relaxed features.

“This will be exciting.” 

Once the storage unit is emptied, the woman says, “Ava, everyone at the shelter will certainly make good use of your donations.” 

“Good, I’m just glad they’ll get used. It seemed a waste just having them in storage.” 

“We sure do appreciate your generosity. Thank you, again.” 

“You’re welcome.” We stand and wave as she and her driver pull out of the storage area and onto the main road. “That’s the last of it.” 

I know Ava is talking about her life with Connor. I’m glad to see the last of her life she shared with him is gone. “You ready, princess?” I never had a pet name for Ava before. Since our wedding and the things surrounding it were done in a princess-style theme, I decided that was a perfect name for her. 

She loops her arm in mine and says, “Let’s go home.” 

When we arrive home, Skylar is on the couch, crying. My eyes scan the house for Drew, but I don’t see him.

“What’s the matter?” Ava asks softly. 

I don’t want to jump to conclusions, so I wait impatiently for her to respond.

“We had a fight,” she cries.

“I’m sure it was nothing.” 

“He left. He just walked out, not saying a word.” 

I wait. I need Ava to ask her the magic question. 

“Did he hit you?” Ava asks as she places a caring hand on Skylar’s shoulder.

Bingo. That’s the question I was waiting for. 

“No, but he was so mad.” 

I motion to Ava that I’ll be in the bedroom. She nods. 

Fights happen all the time. I’m sure it’s nothing and he’ll return later this evening. While Ava is talking to Skylar, I store the chirping bird CD in the drawer and put the CD player in the closet. Thankfully, Ava’s dreams have stopped. I decide to keep the battery-operated candles and the tableside waterfall out. It’s soothing and Ava seems to enjoy them.

When they talk longer than I expect it would take, I tell Ava I’m heading over to do some work at the office. She nods as she consoles Skylar.

“Should I pick up dinner?” I ask.

Skylar lifts her head and says, “Pizza. Would you mind getting a pizza for dinner?” 

“Sure, no problem.” 

I turn to leave and she says, “And some pretzels and some of those ice cream sandwiches.” 

I line my brows. “Sure, anything else?” 

“Some of those cream horns would be nice. You have to get those in the bakery.” 

Ava interrupts, “We’ll text you a list.” 

Good, because there’s no way I’ll be able to remember all that. “Okay, good idea.” 

Just before I close the door behind me Skylar says, “Whatever you do, don’t get cashews, Captain’s Wafers, or string cheese. Those were Drew’s favorites.” She cries harder than she was before. 

I decide to just leave. The pain she’s feeling even hurts my heart. Maybe I should call Drew. He needs to know how much she’s hurting. Hell, I’m sure he’s hurting, too.

Once I’m at the office I file some charts, rearrange the desks, and hang some photos. The phone lines are already connected and ready to go. Barton will be here to help with the opening on Monday along with two other attorneys who decided to transfer out of Lake City. 

The bells chime over the door and in walks Drew. He looks like hell… in fact, he might even look worse than Skylar did when I left her. I didn’t call him, but I sure am glad he’s here.

“Hey,” I greet him. 

“Hey. This place is really coming together,” he says, looking into each of the rooms. 

“I’m pretty happy about that. What’s going on?” My phone chirps, alerting me about a text message. I quickly look at it and it’s a three-page grocery list of junk food. I will buy everything or almost everything on the list, but I am tempted to also buy one fresh spinach leaf so they at least have something healthy to look at as they gorge themselves on junk food. Ava ends the text with an SOS. I chuckle before responding. 

Chase: I’ll hurry.

“Just trying to clear my head,” he says. “How’s Skylar?” he asks.

“She’s upset. I left so she and Ava could talk. Is everything okay with the two of you?” 

His hair is disheveled, and his five o’clock shadow is older than five o’clock.

“Dude, I don’t even know what happened.”

I sit down at my desk and motion with my hand for him to sit.

“It happened so fast. It seems like one minute I was making love to her, and the next we were talking about children.”

Not seeing what the problem is, I remain silent.

“She wants kids,” he finally says as he runs his hands through his dark hair. 

Most women do. “You don’t?” 

“God, no. I just lost my brother to cancer. If that were my child, I don’t think I’d be able to survive that. Honestly, I have no idea how my parents are making it. I call home and Mom’s always crying, Dad’s depressed to hell, and I’m here with Skylar trying to pretend all is right in my world.” 

He hasn’t had time to mourn. “Have you talked to her?” 

“I just need some time. I need some time to figure this shit out.” He stretches his legs out and runs his hands over his face. “One minute I’m single and living the life, and the next I’m head-over-heels in love with a girl I just met. I can’t think of anything else. She consumes my every waking thought.” 

He’s definitely love struck. “What are you going to do?” 

“I have to do it. I don’t have a choice.” Please don’t break her heart. Please don’t break her heart. “I have to return home. I need to think and I can’t do it with her there.” He stands and walks to the door. “Tell her… tell her I love her.” And with those last words, he’s out the door.

I lean back in the chair and release a long breath. I hate this for Skylar. I text Ava. 

Chase: He’s gone. How much ice cream should I get? 

Ava: Sending new grocery list. 

Chase: Be home soon. 

The night was long, and so are the next few weeks. Drew left without a final goodbye to Skylar. She’s heartbroken and devastated. Every day is a struggle. I do what I can, but I’m glad to have a day job to go to. Her sadness is heartbreaking for everyone who knows her.

When I come home from work tonight, I see smoke when I pull into the driveway. My first thought is something is seriously wrong until I see Ava standing on the front porch.

“What’s up with the smoke?” 

“Follow me.” 

I walk around the house, following closely behind Ava. I see Skylar feeding the fire what looks like clothing. “That’ll teach that dickhead to hurt me.” 

“Are those Drew’s things?” I whisper. 

“Yeah, she’s already burnt everything of hers that reminded her of him.” 

This is bad. “Is there anything left?” 

“Her bedroom set. She has that up for sale on Craigslist. Someone’s coming to look at it in a bit.” I thought this morning when I left, that she was getting better. She looks thin — which is a miracle, considering how much junk food I’ve been buying — and she has dark circles under her eyes. “She still cries over him. I don’t know what to do.” 

“I’ll talk to her.” 

“I’ll wait in the house with the fire extinguisher.” 

Skylar

I see Chase walking toward me, and I try to act normal, although inside I feel like I’m losing it. “You okay?” he asks, sitting in the chair beside me. 

No. “I’m fine. Just burning some memories. Thought it was time I got rid of the rest of Drew’s things that he left behind.” 

“I’m a little worried about you.” 

“I know.” I’m worried about myself. I hold back the sobs. “I’ve never been in love before, and it sucks.” 

“It can.” He shifts in his seat. “You need to snap out of this. If you need some medication to help you through it, we can find you a doctor.” 

“How long has it been since he left? A year or two?” I ask.

“Two months.” 

Is that all? It feels like my heart’s been shattered for a lifetime. “Tomorrow. I’ll feel better tomorrow. Two months is a long time to be hurt.” 

“It is. It’s too long to be sad.” 

“I’ll burn the rest of these, then I’ll shower. I’ll allow myself one more night to be sad, then tomorrow I’ll feel better.” I have no idea how I’ll pull that off. If he’s worried about me, Ava must be, too. 

“Go ahead and shower now, and how about we donate these to the Salvation Army?” The USA is a rich country, but no one ought to destroy something of good quality that another person can use. 

I look around the yard at the mess I’ve made. I’m totally losing it. “That’s a good idea. Thank you, Chase.”

“Anytime. Go shower and then we’ll eat.” 

I shower and wear a pair of Ava’s pajamas. I’ve burnt almost everything I own. I sold my bedroom set and realize I have no place to sleep tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch since all of the guest rooms are full. Just as I said I would do, I’ll allow myself one more night to grieve over Drew. One minute I love him, and the next, I hate him. I’m heartbroken, and it’s truly the worst feeling ever. I cry as I search my phone and read over texts, and browse the photo gallery. I should delete them, but I can’t. It’s all I have left to remember our time together. I’ve burnt, destroyed, or given away everything that reminded me of him. I promised Chase that tomorrow I’d be better. How am I going to pull that off? 

With little sleep, I shower at the butt crack of dawn. Before Drew, I would have said the crack of dawn. But I’m so mad and so sad that the negativity shines through. I’m exhausted, and I’m tired of being sad. Thank God I didn’t throw my makeup away. It doesn’t remind me of Drew. Probably because I never wore any when he was here. We were always in bed, going to bed, or getting out of bed. God, I miss him. I miss the great sex we had. I miss his laugh and his smile. He’s in my past and I’m moving on without him, whether I want to or not. I promised Chase yesterday that today will be different and I meant it. I shove my phone in the back of my closet and put it on my list to get another one sometime today. I wear a dress, since it’s the only thing I have that doesn’t remind me of dickhead. I also vow to never speak his name again. He doesn’t deserve to have his name run across my lips. Dickhead. I smile. It my first smile in what feels like five years. That name suits him perfectly. I say it again to myself. Dickhead, yes, I think I like that name for my ex.

As always, Chase is up with Ava, helping with the breakfast. He’s dressed in a suit and tie and she’s dressed in jeans and a white blouse.

“Good morning,” I say, sounding more chipper than I feel. 

“Good morning,” Chase says, looking a little longer at me than necessary.

He’s trying to gauge my mood. I smile for good measure. He doesn’t verbally acknowledge my mood, but I know he notices it. Good. This is all for them. They don’t deserve to see me upset. They’re newlyweds and this is still their honeymoon.

“You have court today?” I ask, pouring myself some coffee. 

“I do. Not until 10:00 so I can hang out here for awhile this morning.” 

“I broke my phone last night,” I lie. “Would you mind helping me shop for another one?” 

“Do you want me to look at it and see if I can fix it?” he asks.

No, because it’s not broken. “The screen busted so I just threw it out. Thanks, anyway.” I lift the mug to my lips and blow.

“You have an iPhone, right?” 

“I do. I was thinking of maybe trying a Droid or a Galaxy this time.” 

“Sure, we can shop for one this morning.” 

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

When Chase walks out of the room, Ava smiles at me. “You look nice.” 

“Thanks, it’s all I had left in my closet.” 

“We’ll shop online for clothes today if you want.” 

“Sounds good.” 

I make the turkey bacon and biscuits, while Ava gets the buffet ready. I feel better today than I have. Even faking happiness feels better than wallowing in self-pity. Of course, the nights are the hardest.

I keep myself busy with online shopping and working the tea. I told Ava she could leave and have lunch away with her parents. She’s graciously carried my weight the last ten years — that length of time may be a slight exaggeration — while I mourned over my relationship with dickhead. I smile at the customers and it feels good. I forgot how much I like being an innkeeper. Can you fake happiness? If you can, it’s short lived because every time I think about my real life, I instantly have a heavy heart. 

Over the next few days, my new phone arrives with my new number, and I get a few other deliveries for clothing and new bedding. Chase said he found a Salvation Army store to donate the rest of the items to that I didn’t burn. It’s a shame I didn’t think to donate that stuff sooner. I destroyed more than I gave away.

It doesn’t take long to enter the few phone numbers into my new phone. I add only the numbers of my family, Chase, Nichole, and Ava. I also add Claire and Marshall’s number just in case. I take a selfie so I have a photo in my camera. Not bad.

“Do you want to go outside and see the progress on the carriage house?” Ava asks sweetly.

Just the thought of its completion and having her and Chase move out and leaving me here alone adds a sharp pain in my already broken heart. “Sure, I’d love to.” I can never let her know how I feel. How truly broken I am. Ava would put her entire life on hold until she knew I was all right.

“I can’t believe the difference in it already.” 

Now that the structure is secured, the inside isn’t taking long at all. It has an upstairs loft with two bedrooms downstairs. It’s an open floor plan and from the way it is right now, in its raw form, I can tell it’s going to be amazing. Hardwood floors, shiplap walls, and large windows add to its beauty. 

“Once you and Chase move out, I was thinking of moving into your bedroom and turning my old room into an office/den. What do you think?” 

She looks sad. “Oh, Skylar. Are you still sad over him?” 

“No,” I lie. “My room has more windows and it’s brighter. I thought it would make for a great den.” And maybe I won’t be reminded of the time I spent with dickhead. I’ve been in mourning over him for twelve years — that length of time may be a slight exaggeration. Shouldn’t it be getting easier? 

She studies me, trying to read my face. I look away, pretending to admire the solid oak floors.

“My room is definitely darker and will make for better sleeping.” 

“When will the carriage house be done?” I ask. 

“In a couple more months. I want to be in it before the baby comes.” 

“That’ll be nice.” Baby! Wait! What? A baby? “Baby! You’re pregnant?” 

“I just found out. Chase doesn’t know yet.” 

I hug her as tightly as I can. Tears stream down my face. Happy tears this time. This year, Ava has gotten everything she has ever wanted and she deserves every speck of happiness that comes her way.

“An aunt, I’m gonna be an aunt. You’re gonna be a mom!” I laugh and for the first time in fifteen years — that length of time may be a slight exaggeration — I’m truly happy.

“I know. Can you believe it!” Ava smiles and it lights up her whole face. 

“No. I can’t. I’m honestly thrilled for you, and for him. Chase is going to explode with happiness.” 

“Thank you, but I need your help with something.” 

“With what? I’ll do anything.” 

“I need to find a way to tell him. I want something special, something subtle, something sweet.” 

“Maybe Pinterest will have some ideas.” 

And just like that, Ava’s happiness is all I need to get out of my seventeen-year depression — that length of time may be a slight exaggeration — that was caused by dickhead. A Baby. We all should have one. And then I get a sharp pain right in the center of my already shattered heart thinking about dickhead. 

Ava

I also wasn’t sure about asking Skylar to help me. I know about the fight she and Drew had before he left. Skylar wants a baby. Not today, but sometime in her life she wants to be a mother. We both have for as long as I can remember. Well, maybe not that long, but for sure since high school I knew motherhood was supposed to be a part of my life.

I’m glad she was happy when I told her. I’ve been so worried about her. Maybe this will take her mind off of Drew. I was just going to tell Chase over dinner one night, but I know Skylar is a big practical joker and this might be just the therapy she needs to get over her sadness. I also was aware it could backfire on me and sink her further into depression. 

So today, after the tea, Skylar and I googled ways to announce a pregnancy and some of them are hilarious. Some were subtle and one is exactly what I was looking for. I didn’t want a sign that said, “Hey look at me, I’m pregnant.” No, I wanted something that said, “Wait, is this? Nah, it can’t be.” He’s an attorney, he can figure it out, right? Skylar and I start introducing baby hints to Chase, and I’m excited to see how long it’ll take before he actually catches on. 

I text Chase before he leaves his office.

Ava: Can you stop by the store on your way home? 

Chase: Anything for you. 

Ava: Thank you. I just need pickles and ice cream. 

Chase: Anything else? 

Ava: Nope, that should do it. 

Chase: See ya in a bit. 

Ava: Thank you. 

If he thought my request was odd, he didn’t let on. Skylar went to the store with her own list while I start dinner. The first thing I do before I forget is to put a hamburger bun in the oven. I don’t turn it on, I just leave it there. Chase always checks the oven for dinner when he gets home. Maybe he’ll catch on when he sees a bun in the oven. I laugh to myself thinking about his reaction.

Chase comes home and puts the ice cream and pickles away as I stand at the stove cooking. I wait anxiously for him to say something about the short grocery list, but he doesn’t. I look at Skylar and she rolls her eyes. I smile and stir the pot of pasta. Sitting beside me on the counter is a glass jar of Prego Spaghetti sauce. “We’re having spaghetti?” he asks, looking at the jar of sauce on the counter. 

I smile. “I thought we’d have something different for a change.” My heart beats faster at the thought he’ll put everything together. 

“Let me change and then I’ll help with dinner.” 

Skylar says as she’s standing near the refrigerator, “If you could put the garlic bread in the oven, that would help.” 

“Yeah, I can do that.”

I step back from the stove with a huge smile on my face. Skylar closes the refrigerator and stands there watching. Chase picks up the cookie sheet with the garlic bread and opens the oven door. “What’s this?” he asks as he removes the hamburger bun from the oven.

Trying to hide my smile, I look over my shoulder. “What is it?” 

He puts the garlic bread in the oven and closes the door. “It’s a hamburger bun.” He looks confused as he tosses it in the trash.

I exhale loudly. 

“Who in the hell would put a bun in the oven?” Skylar asks, putting emphasis on “bun” and “oven.”

“Do I have time to shower before dinner?” he asks.

Attending to the pasta cooking on the stove, I say, “Sure, you have time for a quickie,” I say putting emphasis on “quickie.”

He leans in and kisses the shell of my ear. “You look radiant today. I’ll make it a quick one.” 

I kiss him back. “Thank you. Dinner won’t be long.”

He walks out of the room and Skylar blows a huff of air out of her mouth. “You didn’t marry the smartest attorney, did you?” 

I laugh. “It doesn’t look like it.” I shake my head. “I’m glad we have more hints to drop later this evening.” 

“And tomorrow, if we need them,” Skylar adds. 

“Surely, he’ll catch on sometime today, right?” 

“We can only hope.” 

After dinner and when everything is cleaned up, I sit on the couch and read with my feet stretched out and resting on Chase’s lap. He absent-mindedly massages my feet while watching CNN. I look over my book at Skylar, who is applying lotion to her hands.

“Can I use some of that?” I ask.

“Sure.” 

“Chase, catch this for your wife.” She tosses him the large bottle of Baby Magic Baby Lotion.

He does and hands it to me. I apply a small dab of lotion on my hands, inhaling the unique scent of the lotion. “This smells good,” I say honestly. 

Chase continues to massage my feet as he watches the news.

“It’s baby lotion,” she says. “I wanted to try something new and someone suggested this brand in the baby aisle.” 

My heart quickens and I become hopeful when Chase looks at Skylar and then at the pink bottle of lotion I’m holding. I smile and tilt the bottle in his direction so he can see the name written across the top.

“That does smell good,” he says before looking back to the television.

Releasing a sigh, I stand, hand Skylar her bottle of lotion, and walk into the bedroom. Feeling more tired than usual, I wash my face and change into one of Chase’s tee shirts and a pair of shorts. I thought telling him about the baby would be easier. Are the hints too subtle? Baby lotion? No, that’s not subtle. This is going to be exhausting. Maybe I should just tell him?

Skylar walks into the room and laughs. “He’s a freaking idiot.” 

I laugh, too. “No, he’s not. He’s just not…” 

“Smart enough to pick up on the hints,” she says, laughing. 

I start to walk out of the room as I say, “I’m just going to tell him.” 

Skylar reaches for my hand. “Not just yet. One more day. We still have some things to try for tomorrow.” 

I nod. “Tomorrow. If he doesn’t pick up on the hints tomorrow, then I’ll tell him.” 

“If he doesn’t get the hints tomorrow, you’ll have to tell him. I just hope he’s smart enough to understand the words you speak.” She laughs and walks away, mumbling beneath her breath, “He really is an idiot.” 

Chase is anything but an idiot; he’s just slower today than normal. 

Skylar and Chase eat ice cream, and I eat dill pickles and ice cream.

“That’s an odd food craving,” he says. 

Deciding not to get my hopes up, I ignore him. 

Chase leaves for work in the morning, and Skylar and I put into action phase two of the baby announcement. I just want this to work. After the noon tea, I text Chase our dinner menu. 

Ava: I thought we’d have baby back ribs for dinner with baby carrots and baby lima beans. How does that sound to you? 

Chase: Sounds great. Do you want me to stop at the store on my way home? 

Ava: No. Skylar went earlier today. 

Chase: Okay, I’ll see you soon. 

I decide to add another subtle hint.

Ava: Bye bye. 

After a few minutes, I give up waiting on a reply.

Before Chase comes home, Skylar and I place a few items around the house that to me scream BABY!, but to Chase may merely suggest a home in disarray, casual reading, or a recipe for disaster.

We have dinner, and Chase compliments us on how good everything is. It’s nice to see he likes everything we prepared. I look at Skylar and she nods. I inhale deeply and say, “I was reading this recipe today I found online; it said to mix all the ingredients together, pre-heat the oven to forty weeks, and bake for nine months.” I stick a few carrots with my fork and say as seriously as I can, “Isn’t that weird?” 

He looks like he’s thinking and once again I feel hopeful. “Yeah, it is.” He moves his food around on his plate and says, “Maybe it’s a good idea to not use online recipes. It seems to me that anyone can and will post anything on there.” 

Exhaling heavily I say, “Maybe I should get some cookbooks.” 

Skylar shakes her head and mouths “idiot.” I look away before I laugh. “Sounds like someone who had something else on her mind wrote that recipe.” 

“Sure does,” he agrees, taking the last bite of his baby back ribs.

Skylar and I meet in her room and discuss what to do next. “I should just tell him. By the time he catches on, I’ll be showing.” 

“Not just yet. He can’t be that stupid, can he?” She doesn’t wait for me to answer. “We still have one more thing we need to try. If he doesn’t catch on to that, then you should probably show him pictures or spell it out on index cards for him.” 

“Okay. Do you have pictures and index cards?” I ask with a giggle. 

“Come on. This should do the trick,” she says.

“I hope.” 

We walk out into the living room, and Chase is in our bedroom with the door closed. The pregnancy magazine we left out on the coffee table is opened and is now lying on the couch. Do I dare hold out hope that he got the hint?

“You should go to him.” Skylar nods to our bedroom door. 

Pulling all the air I can into my lungs, I nod. 

Opening the bedroom door, I watch as he slowly sets his cell phone down on his bedside table.

“Hey,” I whisper with a slight smile.

“Hey.” He watches me without saying a word. 

“I have something to tell you.” I sit carefully at the foot of our queen-sized bed. 

“I already know. I saw the magazine on the coffee table.” 

I was hoping for excitement or at least a smile. “I figured as much. How do you feel about this?” 

“It’s big news. I have to admit I’m a little shocked.” 

“I wasn’t sure how to tell you.” 

He sits beside me on the bed. “What’s she going to do?” 

She? “Who?” 

“Skylar? This won’t be easy for her.” He runs his hands through his dark hair. “We can help out as much as possible, but I don’t know if it’ll be enough.” 

I don’t know what to say. He thinks Skylar’s pregnant? I think about all the hints we laid out around the house. Maybe Skylar’s right about him. Maybe he’s not as brilliant as I give him credit for, but at least he wants to help Skylar. That’s so sweet.

“Chase,” I say sweetly talking his hand in mine. This is the last hint I have for him. I pray he catches on to this. “Skylar’s not the one who’s pregnant.” I sit back and wait for it to register in his head. I can almost see the wheels churning.

“Skylar’s not pregnant?” 

I shake my head. A huge smile spreads across my face.

He smiles and I know now that it’s finally registered. He looks at my belly before saying. “We’re having a baby?”

I can only nod, my smile grows bigger.

“You’re having my baby?” 

“Yes. I’m pregnant.” 

Chase

Ava’s pregnant. I think about the last two days and all of the hints she’s been throwing. I’m an idiot to not have interpreted them correctly. A hamburger bun in the oven, baby lotion, and the recipe for a length of pregnancy. I’m truly an idiot. But that doesn’t matter. Ava’s pregnant.

I stand and pick her up and kiss her. “I love you. I love you so much, princess.” I kiss her again and she giggles. “SHE’S HAVING MY BABY!” I scream loudly.

Skylar runs into the room and laughs. “Now you get it. It’s about time.” 

I laugh and turn my attention to Ava.

“I love you,” she whispers.

I kiss her with all the love I have inside me. I can’t believe it. Before the mood turns intimate, Skylar leaves, closing the door behind her.

I make love to her ever so gently. I don’t want to hurt her or my baby. Ava sleeps peacefully as I lie awake. Watching and listening to the sounds she makes, I promise myself to be the best dad there is. I promise to be true to her and to love her every second of the day. I pray and thank God for giving me everything I ever wanted. I thank Him for giving me the patience to wait for her. I think about the choices I could have made in the last few years, and I’m grateful that I knew, without a doubt, that Ava was the one for me. I’m married to the girl of my dreams, and I couldn’t be happier.

A baby? If this is a dream, I never want to wake up. I never want to go back to her memory loss and being just friends. I’d rather be just her friend than never be with her. To have Ava out of my life would literally destroy me. A baby. Everything I ever wanted in my entire life is lying right here beside me.

I kiss Ava on her cheek before I stand to get a drink of water. As I walk through the living room, I hear Skylar crying. I try to ignore it as I down a glass of water. When she continues crying, I walk to her room and pause. Should I knock or just return to my room and ignore it? I knock. After a few long seconds, she says, “Come in.” 

I say, “Skylar, it’s me,” before opening her bedroom door. I don’t want her to be partially dressed expecting to see Ava.

“You can come in, I’m decent.” When I open her door, she’s lying on the floor in a makeshift bed. Her bedroom suite still hasn’t arrived. Her eyes are red and swollen and used tissues are scattered around her. “I thought you’d still be celebrating the pregnancy.” 

“Ava fell asleep. It’s amazing news, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah, pretty amazing. I’m really happy for you. You deserve this. Hell, you both do.” 

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” I look around the room before asking, “May I sit?” She motions with her hand for me to sit on the floor since there’s no other furniture in the room. “How are you doing?” 

Her lip quivers. “I’m sad.” A tear falls. “I’ve never been in love before. Now I know why. I never knew love could be so painful.” 

“Yeah, it can totally suck.” 

“I know. I don’t know how you did it, waiting on Ava and admiring her from afar for as long as you did.” She releases a long steady breath. “I don’t know how I can go on without him. I miss him. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep.” Another tear falls. “I have to force myself to shower and to do the shit that needs to be done on a daily basis. If I didn’t make myself do those things, I would just sit here and die a long, slow, painful death.” 

“I wish I had some magic pill to help you. I don’t know how I did it. I just knew that Ava was the one for me, and no one else could take her place in my heart.” 

“Drew’s gone. He’s gone forever and I’m heartbroken. I don’t know when or if I’ll recover from this.” She wipes her nose with a clean tissue. “All because one day I wanted to have children and he didn’t.”

“Did he tell you why he didn’t want kids?” 

“No. He just freaked out and left. Just someday in my life I want to be somebody’s mom. It’s my destiny. It’s in my blood. It’s who I am.” 

“He told me that he was afraid to have kids because of losing his brother to cancer.” 

“I figured. But he just left. No explanation. Nothing.” 

“I’m sorry. Skylar, you’re a prize. If he doesn’t see that, then that’s his loss.” 

“Thank you. When will this feeling go away? I just want the pain to go away so I can feel like myself again.” She wipes away her tears. “I’m so happy for you, but I’m so sad for myself. Is that even possible? To be happy and sad at the same time? I feel like I’m going crazy.” 

“Maybe it’s time for you to consider seeing a doctor. I honestly think antidepressants will help.” 

She nods. “I don’t think I can do this on my own.” 

I lean over and hug her. “I could throat-punch him for you if that’ll help.” 

She gives a slight laugh. “That might actually help a lot. Thank you.”

I stand up and look around the room. “When’s your new furniture coming?” 

“Tomorrow. I got rid of everything, thinking it would remove all memories of Drew, then I realized the dickhead is embedded in my soul.” 

“Could have saved yourself some money, huh?” 

“Oh, yeah. Lesson learned.” 

On the way to work today, I think about what Skylar said about being happy and sad at the same time. I’m beyond happy for Ava and me. Ava deserves this. Hell, I deserve this, too. Yet at the same time, I feel bad for Skylar. I have to believe that Skylar will return to her old self sooner rather than later. I miss the fire that lives within her. I have an idea that might just be what she needs to find her spark. A little online dating may be just what she needs. Speed dating might also be fun. That way she’ll have a variety.

I text Ava throughout the day to check up on her. She was going to make an appointment with an OB/GYN today. I can’t wait to get an official confirmation and a due date. As soon as we get confirmation, we’ll tell our family about the baby. Until then, only Skylar will know. I get a text and am surprised to see that it’s from Skylar.

Skylar: What do you think of these? I bought them for ChAva. 

Attached is a photo of a pink and of a blue sleeper. They both say “I love my Daddy” in white letters. How can I not like them? 

Chase: I like them, but who’s ChAva? 

Skylar: It’s your and Ava’s kid. 

I think I can feel a spark of her old self resurfacing. Only Skylar would think of combining my and Ava’s name to make our child’s name.

Chase: I like the clothes, but I’m not so sure about the name. 

Skylar: Then I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t ask your opinion about the name. 

I decide it’s best to not reply. I hope this means maybe she’s feeling better. 

At work, I’m in an exceptionally good mood. I think it’s too soon to buy baby clothes or anything else for the baby. It’s still too early in the pregnancy to make such preparations. But if Skylar can buy a couple of sleepers, maybe it wouldn’t hurt for me to buy bibs or booties or something. I don’t have to show anyone; I can always store them in my desk drawer at work.

During the work day, Nichole stops in the office unannounced. She’s smiling. “I hope this is a good time.” 

“For you, it’s always a good time.” 

I stand and walk around the desk to greet her. Although she’s Connor’s mom and Ava’s ex-mother-in-law, I like her and in no way do I blame her for what’s happened to Ava, or for how her son turned out. 

“Between spending my time in Lake City and trying to form a relationship with little Connor, it’s the first chance I had to stop by and thank you.” 

“You’re welcome, but that isn’t necessary.” I take a seat at my desk. “Now that your house is sold and the divorce is final, are you able to concentrate on your relationship with the baby?” 

Her face lights up and she smiles. “Oh, yes. If everything goes well, I may be able to take him home as early as next week.” 

“That’s great news.” 

“That’s why I’m here today. I need to get his room ready and get some toys and clothes for him. It’s been so long since I had a baby, I’m not sure what all he’ll need.” 

“Ava’s home, maybe she and Skylar can help.” 

“Would she mind? I’m still concerned about how she’ll feel about him. I know he was conceived during her and Connor’s marriage, but this little boy is so sweet. I pray she won’t have any ill feelings toward him.” 

“She’s said before she was fine with it, and I believe her. If she wasn’t, she would have said something.”

She looks at her watch and says, “It’s time for their afternoon tea. I think I’ll go over there now.” 

I stand and then walk around my desk. “I’m glad everything’s working out for you. It’s good seeing you happy.” 

She turns to look at me. “I will always be grateful to you for everything you’ve done to help us.” 

Us. I know she’s talking about her, Ava, and little Connor. “I’m just glad it all worked out for everyone.” That’s the God’s honest truth.

She leaves and I go to court. 

On the way home from court, I stop by the store to browse the baby section. Sadly, I had to ask where that section of the store was. I’ve never had a reason to shop in the baby department before. I pass by the larger items such as beds, car seats, and strollers, and go to the items hanging on the wall. The booties, socks, onesies, and sleepers look like they are made for a baby doll. I look at the sign again, and it says, “Newborn.” Can this be right? I place a pair of newborn socks in my hand and it doesn’t cover my palm. Are babies this small? I’ve seen kids. I’ve seen babies, and every one of them I saw was far bigger than this. I decide I’m in the wrong section and ask for help.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for the newborn section,” I ask a young sales associate. 

“This is it,” she says, stocking the diapers onto the shelf.

“Newborn babies?” I ask.

She raises a brow. “Yes, that’s right.” 

Maybe she isn’t understanding my question. “Not for baby dolls?” 

She giggles and stands. “First-time father?” 

“It’s that obvious?” 

“Yeah. It’s okay. What are you looking for?” 

I run my hands through my hair. “I have no idea.” She raises a brow. I sound like an idiot. “We just found out she’s pregnant. It seems like I should buy something. I want to buy something, but I had no idea everything was so small.” 

She walks to the other side of the wall and I follow. “When my husband found out I was pregnant, he bought a hair bow for a girl and a pair of booties with trains for a boy.” She picks up each item and hands them to me. “Of course, I didn’t know this at the time, but he later told me he kept them in his car and would look at them throughout my pregnancy when he was alone.” 

“Your son or daughter could fit into these when they were born? They seem so small.” 

“She had to grow into it. Although this says it’s a newborn size, they fit big. Same with the booties.” I can feel my eyes get big before swallowing hard. “It’s okay. It just seems scary at first. My husband was scared to death in the beginning, but as soon as our daughter was born, he was a natural. I think that’s why he bought these items — so he would be prepared.” When I don’t answer, she says, “You have nothing to worry to about, you’ll be fine.” 

I thank her and then head to the toy department. I try the bow on several dolls before I find one that fits. It’s tiny, not much bigger than a football. I decide to buy the doll, too. Suddenly, I’m scared. Am I ready to be a dad? I’m a man scared of a baby. I need time to process this whole baby size, height, and weight thing. 

I place the bag of baby stuff in the backseat and drive to court. I try to concentrate on my client and the case, but my mind is on Ava and the pregnancy. Thankfully, this case is an easy one. Anytime a man fathers a child with another woman during his current marriage, the judge almost always rules for the wife.

While sitting in my office after court, an old client of mine walks in. I stand to greet her.

“Chase, I heard you moved to Savannah and I was in the area. I hope this is a good time.” 

“It’s a perfect time, Carey. You’re not here on business, are you?” I ask, motioning for her to sit down.

“Nope, I’m here on vacation. I stopped by your Lake City office and Barton told me you were here.” She looks around the office. “I shouldn’t be surprised to see your business is growing and you had to expand.” 

“Thank you. Is everything all right with you since your divorce?” I watch her closely.

“It’s great and I’m fine. I’m actually here to thank you.” 

To thank me? “For what?” 

She sits up straighter in her seat. “Let me finish before you say anything.” 

“Okay.”

“I have to admit that when a friend of mine recommended you, I was a little leery in the beginning.” I want to say something but I let her finish. “You have a very soft exterior and you’re very soft spoken. I wasn’t sure you were the right divorce attorney for me.” I’ve heard this many times from other women I’ve represented in the past. “But I was pleasantly surprised to see that in the court room, you’re more ferocious than I ever imagined. I think people aren’t prepared for the ability to attack that’s hidden behind your youthful and innocent good-boy look.” I don’t say anything, but I do laugh. “You’re quite the bulldog in the courtroom, and I’m thankful to have had you in my corner.” 

Bulldog? “Thank you.” I think. “I’m glad to hear that I was able to help you.” 

“Chase, you did more than help me. You got me everything I asked for plus some things I never expected. But most importantly, you exposed my ex-husband for the lying, cheating bastard that he is.” 

Sadly, I have a lot of experience with these kinds of cases. Anytime a woman is a victim, it unleashes the beast inside me. “I’m just glad it all worked out.”

She stands and reaches her hand out for mine. “I just wanted to thank you again. I know I thanked you in the courtroom, but now that things have calmed down and I’m finding a new normal for my daughter and me, I wanted to thank you again.” 

“Carey, one thank you was enough and you’re very welcome.” 

“I’ll be recommending you to everyone I know in need of a good attorney.”

“As long as it’s not criminal law,” I say.

She laughs, “There’s a thin line there. Are you sure you don’t want to cross over it? I’m sure there’s some innocent people who could use your bull-dog antics.”

I’m sure she’s right about that. “Yeah, I’m sure.” I walk her to the door and we say our goodbyes.

Skylar

“ChAva? I don’t know, Skylar.” 

“Ava, I like that name. It’s perfect for a boy or a girl.” 

“ChAva? You can’t be serious. It’s like what they call Ben and Jennifer: Bennifer. It’s just… ugly.” 

“Well, you and Chase can call the baby whatever you want, and I’ll call it ChAva.” 

She giggles and says, “Please don’t.” 

I would never do it, but it’s fun to say that I would.

Ava gets quiet. “So, are you faking it or are you feeling better?” 

I sigh. “I’m a big fat fake.” 

“I was afraid so. What are you going to do?” 

“Die an old lonely woman with a house full of cats. I am now one of the Forever Alones.” 

Ava crosses her arms. “I’m not even going to laugh at that.”

“I feel better during the day, but the nights are still hard.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“Me, too. But after talking to Chase last night, I think I’m going to see a doctor. I never thought I’d need medication to get over some dickhead.” 

“You talked to Chase last night about this?” 

“Yeah, you were asleep and he must have heard me crying.” She frowns. “Drew’s afraid to have kids. I still think he should have stayed and talked it over with me. Nope, he just ran.” I wipe away a tear. “Obviously, you aren’t scared to have children.” 

We both laugh.

“No, that’s not true. Did you ever see that episode of Friends where Rachael was pregnant and she watched that video on childbirth?” 

I laugh loudly. “She said it was like shoving a pot roast through your nostril or something?” 

Ava clenches her thighs. “Yeah, that’s about how scared I am right about now.” 

“Really? You shouldn’t be. Babies are so tiny.” 

“That might be true, but compared to a vagina, they’re huge.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. Like a pot roast compared to a nostril.”

Ava rubs her nose and lines her brow. “What about the pain? That’s gotta hurt.” 

“You get some good drugs to help you through the pain. Doctors also say a vagina stretches.”

“Well, that’s great, but do they go back to their pre-baby size? Or does the next child just fall out while you’re walking?”

Now I clench my thighs. I don’t think I want kids now that I think about it. “I don’t know.” I don’t think so. How am I supposed to know?

Ava stands and walks away, mumbling something about changing her mind.

Nichole shows up and asks for help in shopping for clothes, toys, and bedding for little Connor. Ava eagerly sets up her laptop and shops for things little Connor will need. I have no idea how she knows what a one-and-a-half-year old boy will need, but she seems to know what she’s doing. After buying several outfits, pajamas, shoes, socks, and bedding, Nichole leaves for Lake City. 

The bedroom furniture didn’t arrive until just before 5:00 pm. I about gave up on them and was expecting another sleepless night on the floor. Ava helped me to get the sheets and bedding on the bed before she left for a celebratory dinner with Chase. She decided to wear a black dress. I think she’s in mourning over losing her normal-sized vagina to childbirth. I make a mental note to google that shit once she’s gone. This will play a huge role in my decision to adopt later in life. If my vagina doesn’t return to its pre-baby size, I may never have sex again. 

The bell over the main door chimes and I stand to greet our guests. They’re the only ones who use the front door of the inn. Our family and friends usually use the back door to the living quarters. “Hi, may I help you?” When I see who’s standing there, I freeze. My broken heart drops to the pit of my stomach. 

“I need to see you.” 

“Get out, Drew.” He looks just as shattered as I feel. How can that be possible? It was his decision to leave. He walked out on me, without saying a word. Nothing. I’m so confused. Part of me wants to go to him, while the other part of me wants to push him out the door. A part of me wants him to pick me up and tell me he’s sorry, but at the same time, another part of me doesn’t want to hear anything he has to say.

“Skylar, we need to talk.”

“No, we don’t.” I lower my voice to not bother our guests. “You said everything you wanted to when you ran out on me.” I turn to walk out of the foyer to return to the main living quarters. If he thinks I’m going to talk to him, he has another think coming.

He runs up next to me and grabs me by my hand leading me to the back of the inn. “I have something to say and I’m not leaving here until you hear me out.”