TIPS FOR GETTING THE MOST OUT OF THIS BOOK
We didn’t design the principles you’ll explore in this book as a stress-management tool or a means to mindfulness. We also haven’t designed them to be like a medication or clinical technique to lower unwanted “symptoms,” although, grounded in serious science, they offer those potential benefits—because building one’s agency through these seven principles delivers important homeostasis, or equilibrium. People we work with report feeling more balanced, calm, and less stressed as they gain greater confidence and conscious control of their decision-making in their daily lives. Medical and psychological symptoms like headaches, elevated blood pressure, worry, agitation, and fretfulness—all of which are exacerbated or caused by stress—decline. We believe this is because agency, and the practices that help develop and maintain it, protect you from overexposure to overwhelm. Your body goes through a great many negative reactions when under such pressure.
We designed the principles to address all parts of yourself and all the areas of your life so that you have one effective system or protocol to follow—the most powerful strategies and tools at your disposal for most every challenge and need you encounter.
Here are tips that will improve your reading of this book and make developing human agency easy and most effective:
1. Find a good spot to read, listen, and think.
Choose a quiet, private spot to read, a place where you can avoid being interrupted and can listen to your own thoughts. Remove devices—it’s not enough to turn them off because they’ll still distract you. Listen to music (without words) or white noise on earbuds if it helps you shut out distractions. You need a clear head and the space in your mind to begin building your agency.
2. Make notes.
Circle, underline, highlight, make notes as you read. If you’re listening to this book, have a notepad handy devoted to all your ideas and reactions. This is important because so much of our best thinking can happen in the moment and be forgotten once we have moved on to something else.
3. Read with your shields down.
Borrowing from Star Trek lingo, it’s important to have your shields down—that is, to keep open to the possibility that the principles in this book can help you as they have helped others. It’s perfectly natural for negative or defensive thoughts to enter your consciousness (for instance, “I’m too lazy to keep this up” or “I couldn’t possibly make time for that”). Don’t judge yourself for feeling that way; just allow the thoughts to occur and let them go.
4. Pace yourself and build momentum by starting with less challenging principles.
We recommended starting with one principle that feels easily attainable; reading the chapters in order isn’t entirely essential. We have found that this order tends to be optimal for our clients, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only way to proceed.
5. If you get stuck, learn to relearn.
If you’re struggling with your focus—feeling you’re not getting into it or find yourself drifting—you may want to start with chapter 4, “Learn Always and in All Ways.” For some of us, it has been a long while since we’ve been active learners. Learning can be thrilling, but it does tax the brain, and sometimes the brain pushes back against what’s new or different. But, like riding a bike or having once played an instrument or spoken another language, it comes back as you push through. Chapter 4 will orient your brain back to the days of being an active learner.
6. Keep data—record and plot your progress and setbacks.
Devote a small, simple agency notebook to keeping track of how things are going as you read and try out the principles. Daily diaries of progress—just a few lines—are terrific and valuable. With this data, you will be able to see trends, areas for improvement, and obstacles to address.
7. Share the experience.
Share your insights and experiences of the principles with people you trust. As you talk about human agency with family, friends, colleagues, coworkers, and close neighbors, you are committing more to the principles you’re working hard at. You may also help someone else who wasn’t aware that they, too, can have greater agency in life. People will share their experiences and stories with you. You may learn something new about yourself in the process. You won’t feel you’re the only person on the planet with the desire to improve yourself and gain more control and happiness in your life. Talking about the principles and showing people the real efforts and changes you are making will reinforce your gains and encourage you. You will integrate them into your life, and soon, they will become more organic—a part of you.