The next morning, Thomas let himself into the apartment and joined me on the balcony, where I watched Elle as she painted below in the private garden.
He leaned on the wrought iron railing next to me and cuffed me affectionately on the shoulder. “G’morning,” he said.
We were quiet for a minute as we stared down at the woman we loved. I was about to leave her with him once more, and though it was for just one evening, it was still a tough pill to swallow.
“I’m proud of you, Will. You’re a good husband, and you’ll be a damn good father.”
Thomas was demonstrating that he could be trusted, his words focusing on him and me rather than on Elle. He was the one person other than Elle who knew how to manage my suppressed anger.
I rotated an empty coffee cup in my hand. “We’ll see, Thom.”
“John and I have your back in all things, always. Listen, I’ve decided to spend some time in New York after the family is settled again. If you need me, I’ll be one phone call away. You only need to say the word, and I’ll grab a jet and get home.”
We still watched her.
Elle’s hand guided the brush she held over the canvas in the same gentle rhythm she used whenever she created imaginary works on my chest. Goose bumps rose on my skin at the thought of her touch. I couldn’t hear it, but I could see by the way her full lips were set together that she was humming a tune. She never failed to take my breath away.
The garden below our apartment had low boxwood borders and a smooth granite square in the center. A couple of benches for occupants seeking peaceful reflection. Mature tree branches reached over the square and met in the middle, their fluffy cherry blossoms merging into one large canopy. An iron staircase led from our balcony to the garden.
Elle smiled to herself, causing my own lips to curve.
“Let me make this hit for you, Will. I’ll head back to London and take care of Devon Parker, according to plan. Your place is here by Ellie’s side. Stay in Paris with your wife and your babies.”
I turned to him, finally making eye contact. “I need this one, Thomas. I need the closure. You’ll keep them safe until I return in the morning. When Parker is dead, I’ll have one last debt to pay, and as it happens, that job is in New York. We’ll discuss it when I get back.”
He agreed with a nod.
“John will stay with me over the summer holiday,” I added.
“He’ll be glad for the time with you. You’ve been like his father all along, you know. He respects you, loves you more than he ever loved our father or Ethan.”
My gaze went back to Elle. “They never gave him enough attention.”
Elle looked up at us, smiling at me, waving hello to Thomas. “I’m done for now. Can you come down and get the canvas and easel?”
“Be right there, baby,” I told her.
Thomas cut in, “I’m going back to the hotel, so you can have some time alone. Ben is due to arrive on the continent no later than six o’clock. I’ll be back here at seven. And, brother, prepare her this time, goddamn it.”
“She understands.”
Thomas walked away, leaving me with images in my head from the past. I’d hurt her more than once, leaving her each time without an explanation, believing that I was protecting her. The scars on my body reminded me every day about how badly I had fucked things up.
Never again.
After moving Elle’s painting supplies back inside, I led her by the hand into the bedroom. Our bedroom, no matter the location, was the foundation for our connection, where the world round us burned down but we survived together as one. I wanted her to feel us that way while I explained where I was going. I needed her to feel how unbreakable we were.
Elle stood before me with her eyes locked on mine. I removed the soft blue scarf from her neck and lifted it to my face to inhale her scent. Then, I wrapped it tightly round my fist.
Green eyes. Unshed tears. A sharp rush of air hit her throat, and she choked on it. She understood my message.
When I arrived back in England later that evening, pent-up rage would consume me, and I would become a killer again.
She understood that I would take Devon Parker’s life with my fists.
“Elle, I’m leaving with Ben on the helicopter for London at seven. You’ll remain here, inside this flat, with Thomas. You have my word that I’ll return before the sun rises. You will not leave Thomas’s protection or this apartment for any reason. I need to know that you are here, waiting for me. Do you understand me?”
“I do,” she whispered.
“Do you also understand how much I love you and how, when I’m away from you, I am a lost soul?”
“Yes. It’s the same for me.”
I stuffed her scarf into my pocket.
Elle took my hand and placed it on her face, her luminous skin soft and warm as she brushed it against my palm. Her eyes burned, never leaving mine. “Come back to me whole, Will.”
I understood, just as she’d understood me. Her words were a demand for me to return to her as the same man who stood before her at that moment, not as a man broken again by his sins. My rage had to die in London with Devon Parker.
“You are mine, Elle. I will always come back to you.”
She smiled. “You’d better because I love you madly.”
My wife’s lips came to mine, and I opened my mouth, allowing her to lead us into a passionate kiss. After our kiss, I rested my forehead against hers and told her again how much I loved her. Saying it would never be enough.
“Will, we should talk before you leave. There’s something else.”
“It can’t wait?” I placed another kiss on her lips.
“No, I think this is the right time. It has to do with Ethan and Isobel.”
“Ah, so you believe I’ll have more anger to purge later.” I was teasing, but when the seriousness in her eyes confirmed it was actually the truth, my stomach shot up to my throat.
“Yes,” she said. “There was one last lie.”
“And this is what has been troubling you, baby?”
Elle nodded and took both of my hands, entwining her fingers with mine. “I’m ready to say the words out loud to you.”
I wiped the sweat from my brow and stared at my wife’s mouth as she stumbled through the sentences. We could do this together, she was telling me. It wasn’t as bad as it might sound. Something beautiful was the outcome. I should focus on the present and forgive the past transgressions of Ethan and Isobel. My brother. My sister.
Elle went to the closet and came back to the sofa with her purse. She pulled a square photo out of a small white envelope, one she’d never shared with me. “Do you know this woman?”
I took the photo from her hand. I recognized the woman.
“Rebecca something or other. Hill, I think. Rebecca Hill. She worked for David Nielson’s father years ago. You know David and his wife, Caroline, of course. Where did you get this? Caroline?”
Elle didn’t say a word. She wanted more from me.
“You want me to tell you about some woman who I met one time? She meant nothing to me. I don’t follow this, Elle. Let’s get back to the matter at hand—my lying brother and sister.”
“We’ll do that, but first, tell me what you know about Rebecca Hill.”
It wasn’t like Elle to ask about my past encounters with other women, but the determination in her expression was relentless.
“There’s not much to say. I met her at one of Mr. Nielson’s dinner parties. Ethan and I were working on our business plan for the firm, and Nielson had connections.”
“More,” she said. “I want to know more about this woman.”
“There isn’t much more that I can tell you about her, Elle. David and I went outside to get high. Rebecca followed. I hooked up with her after dinner, and then she chased me round London for months. I didn’t care for her lifestyle. I wasn’t interested. That is all.”
“What do you mean when you say, ‘her lifestyle’?”
I tossed the photo onto the table. “What is it you discovered about Ethan?”
She narrowed her eyes and waited for the answer to her question.
Fuck. I dropped my face into my hands and pinched the bridge of my nose. I’d never told her about the drugs.
“She was using cocaine, and it was a day-to-day compulsion from what I could see. For me, using was a means to push through the levels of chaos when there was little time for sleep as we built the company. I haven’t touched it for quite some time, Elle.”
It was how I controlled my demons before I had you.
“I see.” She paused, and it felt like days before she spoke again, “So, you slept with Rebecca Hill that night?”
“Yes.”
Elle was quiet again.
I found her hand and squeezed it. “I should have told you about the blow. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t need an apology. I don’t care about that.”
This angel, she would forgive me for my shit over and over.
“Then, what is this about?” I asked again.
“The woman in the photo. Her real name is Sarah Parker.”
I jumped to my feet and met my wife’s eyes. “What?”
Standing up, Elle reached out for me, placing her hands on my forearms. “Please listen to me,” she said.
I stared at her.
“I will explain, I promise. Will, I’m begging you to consider everything we have right now, all that’s at stake for us, before you react. I need you. Give me your word that you’ll listen and process and work through this with me.”
“You’re scaring the bloody fuck out of me, Elle, but I trust you, so yes, you have my word.”
There was a faint sparkle in her eyes right then.
“The lie, it’s about Lissie. She’s your daughter. Yours, not Ethan’s.”