• • • Production History • • •

Scar Tissue received its world premiere at Company of Angels (Armando Molina, artistic director) in Los Angeles, California, on January 7, 2011, as part of Fatigued (Amelia Worfolk, Daniel Muñoz, Juanita Chase, and Joshua R. Lamont, producers). It was directed by Nathan Singh; the set and light design was by Ivan Acosta; the sound design was by Howard Ho; the costume design was by Laura Quiroz; the projection design was by Tamika Simpkins; fight choreography was done by Gwendolyn Druyor; and the stage managers were Jenefer Perez and Raquel Muniz. The cast was as follows:

CLAUDIA, Monica Sanchez

ALMA, Carolyn Zeller

LEE, Chris Hampton

Characters

CLAUDIA, heart surgeon. 50s. Attractive. Cold.

LEE, her patient. Mid-20s. A veteran. He is a ball of nervous energy. He always knows where any exits to any building are. Tall buildings make him uncomfortable. He avoids bright colors as they make him a target.

ALMA, a ghost. Claudia’s daughter. Early to mid-20s, but needs to be able to “be” everything, from an infant to a teen to a young adult...

The Time/The Place

The then and there, the here and now. USC Medical Center, Afghanistan, and inside the depressed mind of Dr. Claudia Torres.

Author’s Note

This play should focus more on pace and theatricality than “reality” and fact. A projector is needed. Live drumming (perhaps a cajón or tumba drum) is preferable for many of the beats or effects in the play. If this is not available, drumming should be scrapped and sounds should be replaced with engineered, surreal sounds. Timing of projections should be altered to best fit the production and staging.

• • •

[Rhythmic drumming in the darkness. The drumming produces projected images: a ragged doll, an opened envelope, a game of Operation, Clifford the Big Red Dog, an American flag, toy soldiers, a little girl. These images repeat a few times in different orders at different speeds. The drumming becomes a heartbeat. The images stop circling and settle on a heart. DR. CLAUDIA TORRES sits with her patient, LEE GARDNER, in her office. DR. TORRES uses a laser to point to different areas of the projected heart. ALMA is dressed like a research assistant. She sits across the room taking notes. She seems unnoticed.]

CLAUDIA Mr. Gardner...this really—

[LEE scans the room.]

Are you listening?

LEE Call me Lee.

CLAUDIA Lee. This really seems like the best option to me, given your age and prior health problems.

LEE What about medication?

ALMA Carvedilol? Quinapril? Zoloft?

CLAUDIA You haven’t responded to the medications prescribed, and if we don’t act soon—

LEE My neighbor, he had this thing where they used a balloon, and he was fine in a couple days.

CLAUDIA Mr. Gardner, You’re referring to a balloon angioplasty. With some patients, we can insert a catheter into the blocked artery (she demonstrates) and inflate a small balloon—here—in order to compress blockage and allow for better blood flow.

LEE Why not try that?

CLAUDIA It’s like stepping on top of the trash instead of taking out the garbage. It’s a quick fix. That procedure wouldn’t help you long-term, and it wouldn’t address the second problem.

ALMA [Writing.] Taking out the trash....

LEE What second problem?

CLAUDIA Atrial fibrillation.

ALMA Uh-oh.

LEE What’s that?

CLAUDIA You have an irregular heartbeat. See, your brain sends electrical impulses to your heart in such a manner that your heart’s rhythm is disrupted, further reducing blood flow.

LEE And that problem’s not related to the other?

CLAUDIA They are two separate problems; however, I think we can address both in the same surgery.

LEE You’re going to operate on my brain?

CLAUDIA No, Mr. Gardener—

LEE Lee.

CLAUDIA Lee. I operate on hearts. We’ll start with the coronary artery bypass—here.

[The heart on screen becomes a game of Operation.]

We will take small portions of veins or arteries from other parts of your body and transplant them—here. While we have you opened up, I can also address the irregular heartbeat, via the Maze procedure.

ALMA Mazes are always tricky.

LEE I don’t understand.

CLAUDIA Do you work on cars?

LEE Yeah.

CLAUDIA If my pressure plate went out, and you were fixing my car, what would you suggest?

ALMA Xanax?

LEE Well, I’d take a look at the clutch, because it’s probably about to go too, and if I’m taking everything apart anyway—

CLAUDIA Exactly my point.

ALMA Splendid metaphor.

LEE You said it was in my brain.

CLAUDIA I’ll make small incisions here and here, which will create scar tissue.

LEE Why?

CLAUDIA Scar tissue doesn’t conduct electricity. It’s like electrical tape. It prevents unwanted surges, thereby regulating your heartbeat.

ALMA Electrical tape. Nice.

LEE You mean to tell me that you plan to fix my heart by fucking it up?

ALMA Such is life.

CLAUDIA I don’t know if I’d call it “fucking up”—

ALMA You don’t need those parts anyway.

LEE What would you call it? Because where I’m from, if someone’s cutting up your heart, it’s called fucking it up. And it sounds like you want to fuck it up for the sake of fucking it up.

CLAUDIA I’d call it your best chance. Sometimes your body needs to handle a little damage before it can properly fix itself.

ALMA ACE!

LEE So with one surgery—

CLAUDIA With one surgery, we could fix two problems.

LEE Is it risky?

CLAUDIA Any procedure of this magnitude is risky, Mr. Gardner.

[LEE bangs on the desk, then composes himself.]

LEE Dr. Torres, it’s a small thing I’m asking for. I been overseas for two stints. And I’d be there again if I wasn’t defective. Over there, I’m Gardner. Here I’m...call me by the name my mother gave me. I’ve earned it.

CLAUDIA Lee. I think you should think about it. Talk to your family. I wouldn’t consider your case urgent, but it should be taken care of sooner rather than later.

LEE While I was in Afghanistan, I got my divorce papers. That’s the closest to family I got.

CLAUDIA Oh. I’m sorry.

LEE It happens.

CLAUDIA We can get you a second opinion.

LEE This is my heart we are talking about.

CLAUDIA I understand that.

LEE What’s the long-term prognosis?

CLAUDIA ...Not great.

LEE So you’re saying I’m fucked. Funny, because when I brought up the balloon—

CLAUDIA I SAID that this is a better option than the angioplasty and I stand by that. This is your best option. Period. But if you want a second opinion—

LEE Wait...

[He scans the room.]

I’ll do it.

CLAUDIA Okay. If you’re not sure—

LEE I’m not one of those who comes home ready to die, understand?

CLAUDIA I didn’t say you were.

LEE I want to live. And if I don’t have a ton of time left, I need to get on with it. I looked you up. They say you’re the best.

CLAUDIA I am.

LEE So if you say this is what I need...you’re probably right.

CLAUDIA Okay. We’ll get you scheduled.

[LEE shakes CLAUDIA’s hand and gets up to leave.]

Lee?

[LEE turns to face her.]

You’d really go back?

LEE You’re damn right I would.

[LEE exits. CLAUDIA sits for a bit. The drumming returns. Softly at first. ALMA whistles a Marine Corps cadence. CLAUDIA grows more and more uncomfortable. A series of pictures of a little girl decorate the screen. None of these pictures feature CLAUDIA. ALMA stops and watches. The drum creates a “knock” at an imaginary door. ALMA clears her throat.]

ALMA January 17, 2010—

[CLAUDIA opens a bottle of pills. She pops a few. ALMA sits and looks stoned. ALMA “transforms” into a one-year-old little girl. She props herself up, wobbles, and starts to walk, perhaps for the first time. She staggers to an invisible person as CLAUDIA’s pager goes off.]

I WALKING!

[CLAUDIA turns off her beeper and watches ALMA.]

CLAUDIA Yes, you are!

[ALMA ages. She is now ten. She is a contestant in a spelling bee.]

ALMA A-N-T-I-D-I-S-E-S-T-A-B-L-I-S-H-M-E-N-T-A-R-I-A-N-I-S-M. Antidisestablishmentarianism.

[ALMA smiles. A bell rings. Applause. She produces a medal from her pocket and puts it around her neck. She looks over at CLAUDIA. CLAUDIA’s pager goes off.]

I won. I won. I WON!

CLAUDIA I knew you would.

ALMA Let’s celebrate.

CLAUDIA I’ve got surgery.

ALMA You’ve always got surgery.

[ALMA ages. She is now thirteen.]

Oh my God. Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygodohmygodohmygod—

[CLAUDIA’s pager goes off again.]

CLAUDIA I’m working!

ALMA I’m bleeding.

CLAUDIA Did you disinfect it? There are alcohol swabs in the cabinet. Peroxide might be better. Get some cotton—

ALMA No. I’m bleeding.

[She turns to reveal that she has started her period.]

CLAUDIA Oh. Check under the sink.

[ALMA pulls a tampon from her pocket.]

ALMA But how...

CLAUDIA Alma, I’m working. This is not an emergency.

ALMA You’re...right. I guess...it’s...not.

[CLAUDIA and ALMA both sit in a trance. ALMA eventually moves to CLAUDIA. ALMA studies CLAUDIA, waives her hand in front of CLAUDIA’s face, and prods her. CLAUDIA is asleep with her eyes open.]

You’re working?...You’re working....You’re working?!

[CLAUDIA snaps out of her trance as ALMA (an assistant again) escorts LEE onstage in a hospital gown. He is sheepish. CLAUDIA approaches LEE, rarely taking her eyes off her clipboard.]

CLAUDIA Okay, Mr.—

LEE Lee.

CLAUDIA Sorry. Lee. We’re going to run a heart cath. I’m assuming the results will support what we found in the preliminary tests, but we need to be sure.

[ALMA produces a long, pointed tube. LEE looks at her strangely and offers her his arm.]

ALMA Huh-uh.

[LEE opens his mouth.]

Nope.

[CLAUDIA puts on rubber gloves.]

CLAUDIA We go in through the groin, Lee.

[LEE grabs his balls.]

LEE You’re shitting me.

CLAUDIA What’s the matter, soldier? You’d go back to war but you’re afraid of a little tube?

LEE You’re a bitch.

CLAUDIA We will sedate you.

[ALMA gets LEE to a gurney and injects him. She straps him down as CLAUDIA lubes the catheter up and runs it up his gown.]

LEE What the fuck?

CLAUDIA Lee, relax. I’ve seen it before.

LEE You said—

CLAUDIA Sedated, Lee. But I need you awake. You won’t feel anything.

[ALMA checks LEE’s pupils. CLAUDIA straps on an X-ray vest. LEE can only stare at it.]

I’m going to inject you with what you might call a series of markers, which will show up on an X-ray. That way we can monitor blood flow and get a firm grasp of the sorts of blockages we’re dealing with.

ALMA This will take a while. Try to relax.

[LEE is sweating.]

LEE I’m...this is fucked.

CLAUDIA Lee, I can’t cut blind. Be brave.

ALMA Ready?

[ALMA slides LEE into the “machine.” As she does, we see his face on the screen.]

CLAUDIA You are going to hear a clicking sound. It’s normal.

ALMA Here we go.

[ALMA turns the machine on. A drum beat becomes the “clicking” of the machine.]

Hold still, Lee.

CLAUDIA Lee, I need you to slow your breathing a bit.

[LEE closes his eyes. On the screen we get flashes of pictures in his mind: a Hummer, a desert sunset, a child’s drawing, a soldier’s boots.]

LEE I think there’s something wrong with the machine.

CLAUDIA Try not to talk.

[On the screen we are back to LEE’s face. He’s sweating.]

ALMA Lee, I can’t get a read unless you hold still.

[To CLAUDIA.]

Do something!

[CLAUDIA eyes ALMA, then reluctantly takes LEE’s hand.]

CLAUDIA Lee, I want you to take a deep breath and hold it.

[He does. She snaps a three count.]

One. Two. Three. Exhale.

[He does.]

Again.

[He does. She snaps again.]

One. Two. Three. Let it out.

[LEE calms. CLAUDIA adjusts his catheter. As she does, we see different pictures of hearts on the screen. These should vary from medical pictures to valentines to children’s drawings. They should be interspersed with shots of LEE’s face and pictures of soldiers, dolls, and sunsets. The drumming settles into the beating of a heart. ALMA becomes a student who reads a comic book. CLAUDIA watches the screen but is also very aware of ALMA. CLAUDIA’s pager goes off.]

ALMA The heart doesn’t feel pain. At least, not directly. Its fibers are wired in such a manner so that pain is routed differently. Right?

CLAUDIA It’s not so simple.

[ALMA seems impressed that she’s got a piece of CLAUDIA’s attention.]

ALMA When something’s wrong with your heart, it goes a little haywire and it becomes electrically unstable. So you feel pain in other places: fingers, back...jaw....Sometimes, there’s no pain at all. If the nerve fibers never cross, people might not have a clue until it’s too late.

CLAUDIA Hold still, Lee. Don’t be so reductive. That’s usually limited to diabetics or elderly. It’s not as simple as—

ALMA Ironically, when your heart is in pain, it’s the rest of your body that feels it. Right?

CLAUDIA There it is.

[ALMA approaches CLAUDIA.]

ALMA Sometimes a person with 90 percent blockage is better off than someone with 50 percent. Your body learns to expect it and finds new routes. Like if you’re living in Los Angeles, and every day the 405’s a parking lot. And you know it’s a mess, so you plan new routes. You know all the side streets, and you’re always on time. But if you’re new to the area and, say, there’s an accident. You’re fucked.

[The image on the screen stops on a little girl. CLAUDIA looks at ALMA.]

If you work at it enough, if you plan, you might forget the 405 exists at all.

[As if on cue, CLAUDIA pops a couple pills. ALMA wilts.]

Mommy...why do you work so hard to forget me?

[CLAUDIA just stares at ALMA. LEE fights his constraints. CLAUDIA’s attention is torn between LEE and ALMA. The screen is racing with dolls, drawings, Hummers, boots, vests.]

CLAUDIA It’s not you I’m trying to forget.

[ALMA becomes the assistant.]

ALMA Dr. Torres?!

CLAUDIA I saw what I needed to see.

[A few days later. LEE dresses himself in a hospital room. He has an open textbook near him. CLAUDIA walks in on him. ALMA follows as her assistant.]

Physical therapy?

LEE I’m going to work with disabled vets.

CLAUDIA Medicine-lite. Good for you.

LEE Excuse me?

CLAUDIA The tests confirmed what I had thought. We can schedule the surgery in a few weeks. Give your kidneys a chance to rest. In fact, I think you are an ideal candidate for the da Vinci.

LEE I’m lost.

CLAUDIA A machine. We can reduce your recovery time, so you can get to your studies.

LEE I don’t think it would kill you to start with, “Hey, Lee. How you feeling?” or “I know running a tube up through your groin isn’t comfortable. Can I get you anything?”

CLAUDIA You think I should kiss it and make it better?

LEE Like prostitution-lite?

ALMA Damn...his was funnier than yours.

LEE I heard about your bedside manner.

CLAUDIA You didn’t come to me for bedside manner. I cut. That’s what I do. You want stickers and a pat on the head, pediatrics is on the fourth floor. I have a job to do.

LEE That doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole.

CLAUDIA Yes. It does. You of all people should understand, soldier.

LEE You can kiss my ass, Claudia.

CLAUDIA It’s Dr. Torres. I didn’t go through medical school—

LEE You wouldn’t have gone to school at all if it wasn’t for people like me. I’m Lee. You’re Claudia. Get over yourself.

[Before CLAUDIA can respond, ALMA rhythmically snaps her fingers.]

CLAUDIA You’re right, Lee. I shouldn’t...you know. It’s not professional. I’m trying to understand some things.

LEE Understand what?

ALMA What’s it like to fire a gun? Do you know you’re a puppet of the government? Do you support the war on terror? Did you kill anybody?

CLAUDIA Why would you go back?

LEE You can’t understand that.

CLAUDIA You think I’m stupid?

LEE No. I think you’ve got a nice car to park in a nice house where you eat nice food. You’ve never needed anybody else unless they are washing your nice car or cleaning your nice house....I think you don’t notice that half the nurses on this damn floor wear bright-ass colors that make them targets. And they insist on opening the shades no matter how many times I close them. You don’t see that the parking garage would be an excellent fucking place for a sniper. You don’t notice these things because you’ve never had to notice these things. Wars are started by people like you, but they are fought by people like me.

CLAUDIA So that’s it? Money?

LEE No. Like I said, you wouldn’t understand. Your robot surgery. You want to do it because it’s best for me, or best for you?

CLAUDIA Both.

LEE At least you’re honest.

CLAUDIA As your doctor, I’m saying it’s what’s best for you. As head of this department, I’m saying it’s what’s best for the hospital.

[LEE splits. ALMA shakes her head in disbelief.]

ALMA You don’t listen.

CLAUDIA Will you stop?

[ALMA pretends to read a letter. CLAUDIA faces her and doesn’t see LEE come back for his jacket.]

ALMA We regret to inform you—

CLAUDIA ENOUGH! I can’t do this right now.

[She pops a couple pills.]

ALMA Then when can you do this? You don’t see—

CLAUDIA I see you everywhere, Alma.

ALMA You went years without seeing me.

[ALMA points to LEE. He and CLAUDIA just look at each other for a moment before he grabs his jacket and leaves. On the screen, a picture of Leonardo da Vinci. CLAUDIA checks her watch.]

You’ve got work.

[CLAUDIA gathers herself and moves downstage for her presentation.]

Unbelievable.

[ALMA preps CLAUDIA. She takes off CLAUDIA’s coat, places goggles on her face, and places handles in her hands. ALMA then moves behind CLAUDIA. ALMA becomes an extra pair of robotic hands. She hums.]

CLAUDIA The da Vinci robot can allow us to perform complicated procedures.

[As she “operates,” ALMA begins to march in place. ALMA goes into cadence at different times in CLAUDIA’s speech. She should repeat each line (like call and response) as needed.]

CLAUDIA As you can see, this procedure is dramatically less invasive than CABG, and as a result requires far less recovery time. The da Vinci surgical system allows a surgeon to get a closer view of the heart and mimics the surgeon’s movements. In addition, it compensates for minor, involuntary motions, which would otherwise make the procedure impractical. In addition to controlling the arms, the surgeon can also control the scope of his or her view. “Zoom.”

The most difficult part of the procedure is the attachment of the blood vessel to the aorta. While the standard procedure allows the surgeon to use her hands to sew the tissue together, the da Vinci model uses a different method.

[She demonstrates.]

It punctures a small hole, here, and anchors the vessel similar to how a small rivet would work.

You’ll notice the heart is still beating. This procedure, in most cases, is performed off pump, which is ultimately safer for the patient. What’s more, the surgeon doesn’t even need to be in the same room as the surgery. He can perform the procedure from his office with other attendees in the OR.

This is the future, ladies and gentlemen.

ALMA I wanna be an airborne ranger. Saving lives of perfect strangers.

Keep me out of the drop zone.

[ALMA demonstrates.]

[ALMA moves beside CLAUDIA.]

[Louder, faster]

My girl’s a pretty girl.

She’s a LA city girl.

I’d buy her anything.

To keep her in style.

[ALMA steps back behind CLAUDIA, then to her other side.]

[Frantic.]

She’s got black wavy hair.

Just like a grizzly bear.

I’d give most anything.

To watch her smile.

[ALMA moves back behind CLAUDIA.]

This is the future, ladies and gentlemen.

CLAUDIA In ten years, standard coronary bypass will be obsolete.

[CLAUDIA sets her instruments down. ALMA moves to the crowd and poses as different doctors with questions. She moves about the crowd with each question.]

ALMA Dr. Torres, the cost for such a machine, as you’ve listed in your notes, is dramatic. In your opinion, is it worth it?

CLAUDIA While the da Vinci machine is not cheap, we can expect to recover costs in twelve to fifteen months. At which point, it actually becomes a very cost-effective procedure.

ALMA Doctor, you mention a reduced recovery time for patients based on smaller incisions. Are there any other benefits to the patients with this procedure?

CLAUDIA The recovery time with this procedure is cut by 25 percent. What’s more, since it is performed on a beating heart, the patient does not need to rely on a heart and lung bypass machine. As you know, the use of these machines has been called into question as some studies have shown a correlation between them and long-term depression.

ALMA Dr. Torres, while the da Vinci machine seems to enhance precision and recovery time, it also creates an even greater distance between doctor and patient. You mentioned being able to perform the procedure from your office. Do you really think it is wise for a doctor to be that far from his patient when something could so easily go awry? It seems to make the patient a video game instead of a person.

CLAUDIA We are in a result-oriented profession, doctor. If the patient lives, we have succeeded. If not, we’ve failed. So far, nineteen surgeries have been performed with the da Vinci machine. Zero have died. In fact, all of them have recovered at an extraordinary rate. We are not motivational speakers or therapists. We are not kindergarten teachers or priests. We are not paid to be people’s friends. We are paid to do what most other people can’t do: save lives. And this robot does that incredibly efficiently. I’ve selected the twentieth Da Vinci patient. You are welcome to observe. Once you do, I think you will agree that this machine should be a fixture at USC medical.

[ALMA marches in place.]

ALMA You never even told them.

CLAUDIA This meeting is finished.

[CLAUDIA’s pager goes off. ALMA, now a teen, bursts into her office. ALMA is a mess.]

What’s wrong?

ALMA I used to sing him to sleep, you know that?

CLAUDIA Who? Wha—

ALMA He had trouble sleeping and I’d sing him songs till he fell asleep, you know? Even if it was over the phone.

CLAUDIA It damn well better be over the phone—

ALMA He’s going to Florida. And he says he will meet so many new “people.” And that it “isn’t fair to me.”

[She starts to hyperventilate.]

He just wants to set himself up to get as much ass as he can get. It’s not about what’s fair—he said he loved me!

[CLAUDIA slaps her on the cheek.]

CLAUDIA ALMA!

ALMA What? Are you seriously—

CLAUDIA Take a breath and hold it.

[She does. CLAUDIA snaps her fingers with each count.]

One. Two. Three. Exhale. Again....One. Two. Three. Exhale—give it three seconds, then you let it go. Let whatshisname go to Florida. You stay here and focus.

ALMA You don’t even know his name? He broke my heart.

[CLAUDIA wipes ALMA’s face and cleans her up.]

CLAUDIA Here’s what I understand. People break your heart because you let them. Because you think you need them around to be complete. So then you start to give up pieces of yourself to keep them around. It’s bullshit. Sometimes you need to know that all you’ve got is you. And if you know that, you don’t let anybody break you. Don’t let people see you cry. Don’t be that woman. A weepy woman will never make it in a man’s world.

[ALMA just looks at CLAUDIA like a kid who knows she’s been ripped off.]

Be brave, Alma. Be brave.

[ALMA leaves. CLAUDIA’s pager goes off again. ALMA appears with a graduation cap. She looks around the crowd for CLAUDIA. CLAUDIA watches from her desk.]

I’m so proud of you, baby.

ALMA You’re working....

CLAUDIA I do this for you. Do you know the opportunity...

ALMA Heidi Fleiss’s dad is a doctor. Did you know that?

CLAUDIA You’re a smart ass.

ALMA I’ve made a decision. I’m a woman who is going to make it in a man’s world.

[CLAUDIA is beaming.]

I joined the army.

[ALMA reveals her fatigues. (Note: ALMA should be in her fatigues for the rest of the play). CLAUDIA stands stupefied. ALMA splits. LEE walks into CLAUDIA’s office.]

LEE Excuse me?

CLAUDIA What are you doing here?

LEE My therapist says a lot of soldiers lash out at people. Not because they deserve it, but because we have trouble...verbalizing. So the other day, even though you were being an asshole, I shouldn’t’ve said it.

CLAUDIA ...I don’t know if that is what your therapist meant. Is that an apology?

LEE I used to be afraid to go home too.

CLAUDIA I’m not af—

LEE Fine. Let’s not get in another pissing contest. I know what it’s like. We’ll leave it at that.

[He looks around the room as if he sees something/someone we don’t.]

CLAUDIA You really notice all those details daily?

LEE You have no idea.

CLAUDIA What’s it like?

LEE You know when you were little and you wound a jack-in-the-box and you cringed when you thought he was about to pop out? It’s like that. Always.

[ALMA appears with blood on her hands. CLAUDIA just watches her.]

Hello? Torres? Are you listening to me? Look, I’ll give you some time.

[He gets up to leave.]

CLAUDIA When I was a resident, I had a man wake up on the operating table. He woke up. His chest is open, he’s got catheters running in from different directions....He’s trying to scream, but there’s a tube down his throat.

[ALMA screams silently.]

And I’m frozen. Terrified. Pissing myself. Literally. Because I’m feeling so bad for this sonofabitch. I should have been doing something, but I was too busy feeling bad.

LEE What happened?

CLAUDIA They medicated him somewhere into next week so he wouldn’t remember. But I couldn’t forget.

LEE You shouldn’t be telling this to someone you are going to cut open.

CLAUDIA Emotion gets in the way of the job I do. Feelings are mistakes. Mistakes can be fatal.

[LEE nods in understanding.]

LEE Who were you talking to?

CLAUDIA I wasn’t talking to anybody.

LEE She looks like you.

CLAUDIA You can see her?

LEE She’s why you want to know why I’d go back?

CLAUDIA Maybe.

[ALMA looks over at LEE. He sees her.]

ALMA Tell her.

LEE No.

ALMA Please.

LEE No.

[ALMA leans in to tell LEE a secret.]

ALMA Help.

[She salutes him. He waits for a while before reluctantly returning her salute. ALMA grabs a helmet and an imaginary gun.]

LEE Whenever we’d caravan through villages in Afghanistan, we’d get crowds. Little kids especially. Why the hell parents would let their kids near...I don’t know. But we were a show. And everything is a mess, understand? You’ve never seen a mess like this. And everything is a threat. A speeding car...threat. Open window...threat. An abandoned car on the side of the road: big fucking threat. But one day we get word from our CO That—

ALMA The haji have started putting IEDs in dolls.

CLAUDIA Dolls?

LEE Dolls!

[The screen transitions to show a child’s drawing: a stick-figure family.]

CLAUDIA Oh God.

LEE What kind of fucked-up shit is that? And he’s cold when he says—

ALMA Eliminate. Threats.

LEE And I’m not like him. I lay awake at night and my stomach hurts. My back hurts. Because I’m afraid I might have to obey an order I have no business obeying.

ALMA There’s no such thing as a warning shot around here. Either there is a reason to shoot, or there isn’t. Warning shots only serve to warn haji of your position.

LEE But my brothers, they got children too. I was there when one of them got baptized. And they’ve got dolls....And no way can I let them see their daddy in a box.

CLAUDIA Did you—

LEE So we roll up, and sure enough here come the kids. And we start waving our arms for them to get the hell away—

[LEE and ALMA wave their arms in unison. The picture on the screen transitions to a little girl.]

—but the haji, when you wave your arms, they think it’s an invitation to come closer. And right about then I see it. A girl. Her doll. And a mangy-ass dog that won’t shut up.

[Clifford the Big Red Dog lights up the screen. ALMA growls.]

You know how they get? When they got their tail tucked between their legs trying to look brave?

[The drumming intensifies as the pictures on the screen move from a doll to a drawing to toy soldiers to a dog.]

He won’t shut up. He won’t—SHUT UP!

[ALMA stops. She raises her rifle.]

I can’t tell you if it was an accident. I can’t tell if it matters....I squeeze.

[The drum bangs as ALMA fires. The screen goes blank.]

I shot his bottom jaw clean off.

[ALMA holds her jaw.]

CLAUDIA You did what?

LEE He makes these noises.

[ALMA lets out a high-pitched, low-volume squeal.]

The girl drops the doll. And it’s just a fucking doll. And all I can see is this girl trying to put pieces of his mouth back on. And I freeze.

[ALMA freezes.]

My CO pulls a pistol and puts the dog out of his misery.

[ALMA pulls an imaginary pistol and fires quietly.]

I told you, he’s a bigger man than me. And the girl’s come undone. He takes off his watch and gives it to her.

CLAUDIA Why?

LEE Because what the hell else are you gonna do? And that’s that. We move on.

[ALMA turns and marches away.]

CLAUDIA That’s why you want to go back?

LEE I’m the son of an alcoholic.

CLAUDIA What does that have to do with anything?

LEE I always made friends with other sons of alcoholics. Because I’d have to pick him up from bars when I was thirteen. And they knew what that was like. Back there...they understand what it’s like. Problem is, they’re there, and I’m here....

CLAUDIA Defective.

LEE Yep. Out here, people aren’t accountable. They don’t understand the—

CLAUDIA Cost of living. To do your job—

LEE To heal—

CLAUDIA Or to hurt.

LEE Means you have to be a little—

CLAUDIA Less human. People don’t get it.

LEE We’re not that different, me and you.

CLAUDIA I save lives!

LEE What the hell do you think I was doing?!

CLAUDIA You’re...right.

LEE You think you’ve got ghosts?

[LEE motions around the room.]

CLAUDIA Lee, crazy people see ghosts.

LEE The pills don’t help.

CLAUDIA Excuse me?

LEE Or the booze. Or the drugs....When I got back, I had a lot of time on my hands and a fair amount of money. It didn’t work. If they have something to say to you, they’re gonna say it. And they’re gonna say it and say it and say it.

CLAUDIA So now you’re here to fix me?

LEE You aren’t crazy, Claudia.

CLAUDIA Of course I’m not.

LEE And you are going to have to forgive yourself.

CLAUDIA For what?

LEE For her.

CLAUDIA How dare you.

LEE We’re like alcoholics’ kids, me and you.

[She backs him down.]

CLAUDIA We are not anything.

LEE Weird thing is, I get you.

[She starts to shove him.]

CLAUDIA You don’t get shit.

LEE You pushed her away, didn’t you. That’s why you’re scared to go home?

[She tries to slap him. He catches her wrist. She tries with the other hand. He catches that one too. He pulls her arms to her sides. She fights. They wrestle.]

CLAUDIA Let go of me. Let go of me!

[CLAUDIA is frantic. She fights. LEE restrains her. ALMA returns to the stage. ALMA plops down to the floor and opens a letter. Some photos fall out.]

ALMA Alma, I hope this finds you.

[The photos from the box appear on the screen. Most are of a stoic CLAUDIA.]

I watch the news and hunt the Internet to find stories about your unit and have found nothing. I guess that’s a good thing.

[CLAUDIA fights. She is ferocious. Feral. LEE holds her strongly. Gently. He turns her to watch ALMA.]

Not much on this end to update. Just me. We had a Marfan patient the other day. Tall, lanky kid. He saw his doctor complaining of joint pain. Luckily his doctor was bright. I cut. We prevented aortic rupture. He’s now pretty upset that he won’t be playing football anymore, but he’s alive. Anyway, I’m sure I’m boring you. Like I said, it’s just me.

[Finally, CLAUDIA submits. The struggle transforms into a hug. One of the photos shows CLAUDIA in the background smiling.]

They had a little birthday party for me at the hospital and that was okay, I guess. They took pictures, so I sent them to you.

CLAUDIA That’s not what I said.

[The screen zooms on CLAUDIA.]

That’s not what I...meant.

ALMA Be brave. Come home! Mommy.

[The screen zooms again, showing only CLAUDIA’s smile. ALMA smiles and kisses the picture. LEE holds CLAUDIA for a moment.]

LEE I should get a second opinion.

CLAUDIA Because I’m—

LEE You’re not crazy...but you’re not right.

[CLAUDIA looks like she might challenge him, but thinks better of it.]

CLAUDIA That’s logical.

[They sit quietly. Eventually CLAUDIA pulls out her pills.]

LEE They are not going to help.

CLAUDIA I’m the doctor, remember?

LEE What happened to her, if you don’t mind me asking?

CLAUDIA I mind you asking.

ALMA You didn’t tell anybody. You didn’t even take off work.

LEE You didn’t?

CLAUDIA This is none of his business.

ALMA You want me to tell him?

CLAUDIA Alma! Some things are private.

ALMA And some things aren’t. Be. Brave.

CLAUDIA Parents of soldiers know they’re fucked when three strangers knock on their door. One to deliver the news.

ALMA Two. In case you faint.

LEE Three. In the car. In case you get violent.

CLAUDIA They have it down to a science.

[CLAUDIA hands LEE a letter. He opens it and reads silently. ALMA opens an identical letter. She opens it and reads aloud.]

ALMA January 17, 2010. We regret to inform you that late last night Sergeant Alma Torres was involved in an ambush attack just outside of Kandahar. She was fatally wounded. The details of this conflict are sensitive and cannot be given at this point. Please know that her actions were heroic. Her ultimate sacrifice is acknowledged by your government, and it is with our deepest sympathies that we send you this notification of her death. You will be put in contact with a grieving coordinator who will help you with funeral arrangements and grief counseling. Please contact him with further questions.

[LEE folds the letter and gives it back to CLAUDIA.]

CLAUDIA [To ALMA.] You happy now?

[CLAUDIA is about to take a few pills. She considers, then puts them back.]

I can refer you to Dr. Kwong. He’s good. Thorough. You’ll be in good hands.

[LEE grimaces and grabs his jaw. CLAUDIA has turned away from him and can’t see him.]

Not as good, of course, but more than competent. He hasn’t been trained on the da Vinci, so—

ALMA Mommy—

CLAUDIA Also...I hope you will use some...discretion.

[LEE has fallen to the ground.]

ALMA CLAUDIA!

[CLAUDIA sees LEE on the ground.]

CLAUDIA Goddamnit.

[ALMA helps LEE offstage, then pushes him onstage prepped for surgery as CLAUDIA “scrubs in.” The sounds of an operating room (heart monitor, etc.). CLAUDIA walks over to him, ready to operate. Drumming returns as a heartbeat.]

Lee, you went into arrest. We almost lost you. We revived you, but we need to do the surgery now, or we risk significant damage.

ALMA Mr. Gardner, I need you to count backwards from ten.

LEE Ten. Nine. Eight. Sev...

[He’s out. The drumming heartbeat is replaced with the beeping of a heart monitor.]

CLAUDIA Scalpel.

ALMA Scalpel.

[ALMA and CLAUDIA stand on opposite sides of the gurney. They spin in circles. The spinning accelerates with each revolution.]

I arrived in a C-130. Combat landing. Meaning we got up high and corkscrewed to the ground to avoid AAM’s. I felt sick when we landed and the world was orange. Someone next to me said, “Welcome to Mars.”

CLAUDIA I’m working, Alma.

ALMA The sand gets in your teeth. The water stinks. And you can’t open your eyes in the shower....Mars....And I was thinking, as a medic, I’d never see battle. But that’s the way it is on Mars. One minute, you are “safe” and the next you are in the middle of shit.

[An explosion. ALMA falls to the floor beneath the gurney.]

CLAUDIA GODDAMNIT!

[CLAUDIA assesses the damage and tries to fix the bleed. ALMA uses the gurney like a bunker.]

ALMA Oh my God. Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygodohmygodohmygod —I’m bleeding.

CLAUDIA Alma, please...

[CLAUDIA manages to stay focused on LEE even with ALMA at her feet. The screen shifts to show toy soldiers. ALMA talks on her radio.]

ALMA Raptor Six, this is Three-Two. Requesting backup. Over. Raptor Six, this is Three-Two. Requesting backup. Over.

[ALMA looks up at CLAUDIA. CLAUDIA finally plays along.]

CLAUDIA Three-Two, what is your situation?

ALMA Caravan lead has been blown up. Then the rear. Haji are coming out of the street like roaches.

CLAUDIA What is your grid?

[Another explosion. LEE flat-lines.]

I need the paddles.

ALMA Send help!

[CLAUDIA mimes defibrillation paddles.]

CLAUDIA CLEAR.

[LEE’s body bounces. So does ALMA’s. Still no pulse.]

CLEAR.

[LEE and ALMA bounce again. Nothing. CLAUDIA tosses the “paddles” aside and reaches in to pump LEE’s heart with her hands.]

Lee, please...

ALMA There’s someone out there. He’s wounded worse than me.... Mommy, I can help.

CLAUDIA Take care of yourself.

ALMA Breathe, Alma....Breathe.

[ALMA takes a deep breath and snaps three times.]

One. Two. Three.

CLAUDIA Beat, you bastard. Alma, stay here.

ALMA Again.

[She takes a deep breath and snaps three times. She seems calm.]

Be brave.

CLAUDIA Goddamnit, do not be brave. Be a fucking coward and—

[But it’s too late. ALMA has scampered off.]

Come home to me.

[The drum bangs. ALMA falls to the floor.]

COME HOME TO ME!

[CLAUDIA re-gathers herself and pumps LEE’s heart.]

Beat, you motherfucker. BEAT.

[ALMA rolls over.]

ALMA You should call it.

CLAUDIA I’m not done fighting.

[ALMA understands and moves to the side.]

ALMA Fight. Five minutes.

[Waiting.]

Ten minutes.

[Waiting.]

Fifteen.

[Waiting.]

Twenty-two minutes before you hit the ground.

[Exhausted, CLAUDIA stops pumping the heart and slumps.]

CLAUDIA Time of death...

[She can’t finish.]

Did you know?

[ALMA shrugs.]

You bitch.

ALMA I did this for you. Sometimes you need to handle a little damage before you can properly fix yourself.

[CLAUDIA pulls her pills out of her pocket.]

Be brave, Mommy.

CLAUDIA It hurts. So. Bad.

ALMA Be brave.

[CLAUDIA drops the pills.]

Be. Brave.

[ALMA watches CLAUDIA, though CLAUDIA can no longer see her. CLAUDIA gasps like a patient waking up in the middle of surgery. The drums pick up with a heartbeat. On the screen we see pictures of toy soldiers, boots, a game of Operation, a doll, a sunset, an envelope. Clifford the Big Red Dog, a drawing, and a girl. A girl. A girl. CLAUDIA takes a deep breath and snaps her fingers three times. With each snap, we zoom on the face of the girl. CLAUDIA exhales as lights begin to fall, and she starts to cry. Softly at first. But the tears build. Lights go out as her cries turn to sobs.]

• • •