Contents

Epigraph
1

It is a truth universally acknowledged that crazy things happen…

2

Back in L.A., Stephanie asks me about the wedding and…

3

I’m just finishing a “Where Are They Now?” story on…

4

I’m in Brian’s office, griping about how I pitched something…

5

“Can we please concoct some reason we have to move…

6

When I wake up later that afternoon, things seem a…

7

While I really did convince myself that Chad Milan could…

8

My first instinct when I see Stephanie standing at my…

9

I read everything I can find about Kane on the…

10

Kane has one of those video camera doorbell things that…

11

“It’s completely unfair,” I say to Mom. “I mean, I…

12

I’ve always heard about how people come to and have…

13

When we pull up at Pledges, I marvel over what…

14

I’m trying to focus on reading the Pledges book when…

15

I’m not sure when rehab starts to seem like the…

16

The day I’m getting out, I decide to check the…

17

“Would you like to have your lawyer look over the…

18

I’m sitting at the Starbucks smack in the middle of…

19

“Tres belle,” Jean-Paul coos as his camera snaps away. Three…

20

I’m dreaming about signing autographs—and in the dream, my handwriting…

21

“Oh, you’re adorable!” a brunette in a wraparound Diane Von…

22

“Here we go,” Tim says as the Town Car pulls…

23

“I can’t imagine doing all of that sober,” Stephanie says…

24

When I walk in the door after a pre-Emmys party…

25

“I need to talk to you,” Justin whispers in my…

26

It’s a Sunday night, arguably the most depressing time of…

27

“He didn’t call me back,” I say into the phone…

28

“Here you go,” Stephanie says, reaching through a throng of…

29

When I come to at about three in the afternoon…

30

I spend the next week writing down my resentments, only…

31

“Amelia, we already went through this—on our hike, remember?” Stephanie…

32

“You’re something else,” Joy Behar says after she takes a…


Acknowledgments
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