The next morning when the alarm sounded I fought to get out of bed. I stumbled into the shower, a cascade of memories flooding my mind as water, cold and stinging, jetted onto my face, bringing me to something resembling consciousness. With nothing on my schedule more official than working with Brandon, I fabricated comfortable clothing and a huge breakfast; activities with Pamela required serious refueling.
Feeling human and happy, I strode to the office, master of my domain. Even communications from Jones failed to sour my mood.
Armed with Pamela’s name, I initiated a network search. While the computers crawled through colonial databases, records, and files, my slate beeped with incoming communication.
Seiko.
I answered and her beaming face filled the screen.
“Good morning, my love, light of my life,” I said. Some would think that I was being disingenuous but they would be wrong. I loved Seiko but I simply couldn’t resist Pamela. Later there would be time to sort out the whole mess.
“You seem happy,” Seiko said, answering my grin with her own.
“Everything is right with the world.”
She blushed. “There’s a new dance class tonight. It’s part costume ball and part formal pattern dance. Do you want to give it a try?”
“With you, I’d try anything.” I even managed to say it without a double entendre.
She bounced on her toes with excitement. I enjoyed the dances, but truly Seiko lived for their movement. There were times when I wondered if it were some repressed sexual urge. We chatted for several minutes and then she hurried off to her work, overseeing an entire bank of artificial wombs where babies gestated until ripe.
Humming a fast little tune, I went back to the network search.
There was no Pamela Guest in any colonial database.
Okay, she might have been lying about her name, but I didn’t think so. Clearly her methods for avoiding the Administration’s notice worked. Luckily I was a member, albeit a very minor one, of the Administration and that gave me access to a more powerful set of tools. I scanned through the external security recordings until I found her climbing into the car. Armed with the exact time, I used my access to obtain basic car logs. Privacy regs shielded names and precise destinations, unless I had a security services order, but I should have found a basic record with at least the general area where the car took her.
Nothing.
It’s impossible to lose yourself from the colonial database. There were constant rumors of people living outside of the Administration’s unsleeping eye. Maybe those rumors weren’t so far-fetched. She had made the Administration’s own records vanish but I couldn’t conceive how that was possible.
I pulled out my slate and looked at her contact information, which had no address, but there was her name and colonial ID number. Was that colonial number a phony? If I entered it would it connect or throw up an invalid recipient message?
Steeling myself for the worst, I called. After several tense moments with my heart slamming hard against my ribs, she answered.
“Jason.” She looked bleary eyed, her long black hair a tangled mess as she leaned up on one elbow from her bed. “It’s early.”
“I didn’t expect to miss you so much.”
“That’s sweet.” She sighed, exhaustion overpowering her charms. “But dear, after last night I need my beauty sleep.”
“That you never need.”
Smiling at the compliment, she said, “All feminine beauty is illusion. I’ll call you later, my big man.”
She blew me a kiss and the slate went dark.
I sat there holding the slate in my hands, pondering how I made a network call to someone the network didn’t know existed. The slate was still in my hand when Brandon arrived. I set it down a bit too quickly and it slammed into the desk as though I were angry.
“Good morning to you too.”
“Sorry,” I said. “You surprised me.”
“You look a bit tired.” He crossed to the office fabricator and set it making his morning tea. “Though I have to say it suits you.”
“What?”
“You look happy, contented.” He picked up the tea, polluting it with an obscene amount of sugar and cream. “I guess Seiko’s making you an honest man has worked out.”
I laughed, too nervous to say anything.
He moved to the terminal and started activating our work programs. “Nothing’s up. What have you been doing?”
“Well,” I said, “I did call Seiko and wasted too much time.”
He nodded, accepting the half truth.
We spent the day working, but under the chitchat and jargon my thoughts never ventured far from Pamela. I wanted to tell him everything. Not to brag, but because he was my best friend and I wanted to shout my happiness. He’d never accept it. Even as a kid he always obeyed the rules, always did exactly as others expected. He’d never forgive my transgression.
* * *
After lunch my slate buzzed and I snatched it up from the desk before Brandon noticed Pamela’s name flashing. I held it close to my chest and stood.
“Seiko?” he asked, not bothering to look up from his mass-media summaries.
“Yeah,” I said as I hurried for the door. He looked up with suspicion and the door closed behind me.
I hurried across to my apartment. The slate buzzed in my hand as I stepped inside and locked the door. Beating my mail recording, I answered.
“Hi, darling.” She looked more like her usual self. Perhaps this woman’s beauty was an illusion. If so, I never wanted reality.
“Hello.”
She sat sideways in a chair, one of those large comfortable ones that people usually reserve for guests, her long legs draped over one arm. Wearing only a long shirt undone down to her navel, she radiated sensuality.
“My, aren’t you chatty?” she teased. “First you call me before noon, a sin in my book, and then when I do call back, you’re as mum as a priest at an orgy.”
Nervous laughter exploded from my lips. I quickly bit down. Even through the apartment and office door Brandon might investigate.
“This morning I just wanted to make sure I had your contact. After all, the Admin databases don’t list you at all, sweetheart.”
“I told you. I don’t like them poking their noses into my business.” She smiled and her eyes lit with all manner of promise. “Or should I hope ‘our’ business.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “Our business.”
“And speaking of that, I need to see you again tonight.”
Need – I liked the sound of that. Not want or might, but need. She needed me the way I needed her. My mood crashed as I remembered my date with Seiko.
“I’m busy tonight.”
Her smile collapsed. “Jason….”
“I can’t break it off. People will get suspicious.”
“It’s her, isn’t it? Your fiancée.”
I started to lie, but I couldn’t. We locked eyes and separated by God knows how much distance and with only an electronic screen connecting us, still she commanded my soul.
“Yes.”
“I have to accept it,” she said in a tone that indicated she wanted to do anything except ‘accept it’. “I’m the other woman. I’ll take her scraps.”
“It’s not like that at all.”
“Jason, you don’t have to lie to me. I came into this with open eyes.”
“I’m not lying. If you had asked me this morning….”
“She has to come first.”
“That’s not it.”
Pamela reached for her slate, ready to switch off.
“Don’t!”
She stopped with her hand paused just out of the camera’s range. I acquiesced. “I’ll see you tonight. Early.”
Before I knew it, we had our illicit plans finalized.
* * *
Brandon and I worked through the afternoon, rushing to get reports ready for the committee. At least tonight I wouldn’t have to worry about a film performance – the singing troupe needed the space for more rehearsing.
“Jones came by yesterday,” I said. We had finished for the day and we relaxed with coffee and tea.
He sighed but said nothing.
“She thinks I put you up to it.”
“Not entirely surprising.”
Brandon let his head fall back on the couch, looking up at the ceiling. “I hoped she might blame me, but she really wants to pull you down, Jason.”
I said, “I think she wants to put Karl here.” Jones’s favoritism for her brother was a well-worn topic. “At least you’re out of danger. She’s not going to come after you.”
“I hear the Administration is still going to decommission the DSN.”
I shrugged. My slate buzzed and without thinking I threw Seiko’s call up on the main screen. Her sad face filled the screen.
“What’s happened?”
“I’m sorry. It can’t be helped.”
From the couch Brandon raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
“I already reserved our positions.” Her voice caught and I heard a threatened sob in her throat. “I already printed my dress. It’s beautiful.”
“I’m sure it is. I’m certain it’s as beautiful as you are, but Jones is riding me hard and I have to get everything done before tomorrow.” Brandon’s expression darkened and I wished I had shown the good sense to take this privately.
“Backing Wolf is making things a bit rough right now and I need to work really hard to keep her happy.”
I stumbled through my explanation, my lie. Seiko’s eyes narrowed.
“Jason….”
“Really,” I said, working hard at sincerity. “It’s just work. I promise to make it up to you later. I promise.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
With tears in her eyes she switched off.
Brandon was silent and seconds passed into minutes. Several times I started to speak, but in my head the words sounded inadequate.
“It’s not really my business,” he said.
“No. It’s not.”
He stood and walked over to my desk and towered over me. Anger flashed in his dark face.
“But you involved me with that stupid lie about work. Are you expecting me to cover for you?”
I pushed away from the desk and walked over to the window. Looking down to the empty lobby, I kept my back to him. “It’s not going to come to that.”
“And how would you know?”
“I just changed my mind. I didn’t want to waste hours learning another pattern dance. Is that a crime?”
A moment of silence drew out, but I didn’t hear either footsteps or the door sliding.
“No,” he finally answered. “That’s not a crime, but that’s not what’s going on either. Who called earlier?”
“Seiko,” I lied. “That’s when we made the date.”
“Bullshit.”
Shocked by his sudden profanity, I turned and faced him.“Are you calling me a liar?”
“I don’t need to, I just watched you.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I wish I knew how many lies you’ve already told.”
Speaking louder and a lot angrier than I intended, I said, “Didn’t we finish here?”
“Yes,” he said, not angry but disappointed. “I guess we did.”
He moved to the office door, but he paused before he opened it. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell me what’s going on?”
I almost did. Brandon had a level head and never gave in to temptation. Maybe he could have helped or maybe he could have walked me back from that precipice. Instead I said nothing – and he walked out.