Rex inhaled deeply right as Bertha Alcott opened her stateroom door. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" she said in a not too pleased tone.
Rex hustled past her, dragging Viv by the hand. "We wanted to say goodbye before the day of confusion and debarking begins."
"I suppose I should feel honored," Bertha said in a dry voice, closing the door behind them. "I'll call Cricket to bring us some snacks."
She reached for her room phone as Viv looked around.
Bertha's voice cracked with authority. "Yes, dear. Champagne too. To celebrate our last time together."
"So this is your place. I always wondered what a permanent stateroom would look like. I noticed walking in that the entire section has been set aside from everyone else; feels like a ship within a ship.
Bertha explained. "There's even a separate bar and lounge and dining room for people like me who travel consistently from one cruise to the next. And for any celebrities who require more privacy."
"I'm surprised you ever come upstairs to hang out with the regular people," Viv mumbled.
Bertha gestured toward her chintz-covered sofa, giving Rex a chance to glance over Bertha's head at the wall behind the sofa. It had been painted in the dark blue signature color of the cruise line brand. Photographs lived an inch apart, surrounded by black frames.
"I can see from all of these photos that you've known more than your share of captains. Look at those stripes. How many skippers have you met over the years?"
"Seven," she replied snappily. "Captain Barclay is new but so far he's my favorite."
Viv piped up, "He handled the memorial quite well, considering Sandi's unexpected departure."
"He did, didn't he? Poor young woman. She seems, if you don't mind my saying so, a bit unstable. And then those rocks. No one suspected she was faking.” But the tone of Bertha's voice made Rex think she suspected all along.
"She's not the first," Bertha continued to explain. "I've met a handful of fake mourners in my lifetime. Three on cruise ships, as a matter of fact. Sandi would make the fourth." Bertha's lips held a faint smile.
"The reality is that a cruise memorial is a public event. Since Aloha wants to accommodate its passengers, they provide food at no extra cost. And then there are the advantages. After the service the goodbyes are very clean. No one need know you were just pretending.
"I noticed immediately that Sandi glowed when she got attention. People stopped to chat with her as she toted that wooden box around.”
Rex observed Bertha's face carefully, wondering if he'd underestimated the clever old woman. Before he could ask more questions, a knock came to the door.
Robert Redford walked inside. Allison Thompson followed right behind.
Then Rex blinked because Cricket came next, holding a tray with an ice bucket and five champagne glasses.
"We thought we'd join the party to raise a toast to a remarkable voyage," Robert said.
All three of them in the same room with Bertha. Something's up…
Cricket slid the tray on the table. She made her way to leave.
"Aren't you staying?" Rex called out.
"Stewards don't imbibe with passengers. See you later." But before leaving, she hurriedly told him under her breath, "I’m sorry. For everything."
She closed the door behind her with a thump.
"Why don't you pop the cork and do the pour," Allison instructed Rex. Then she continued to speak. "We can toast the unforeseen opportunity of finding you right on our passenger list that first day. If you need a recommendation…" She smiled to finish her thought. When Rex didn't move to pour, Redford did the honors. He raised his glass.
"But now it's time to say goodbye. I've posted your paycheck. It will arrive within twenty-four hours in your account. Lots of cash to spend in Honolulu. Take your lady to a luau and a sunset cruise on us.
"The return flight has been comped for you both. And we've upgraded you to first class." He sat down and leaned back with a look of satisfaction on his face, along with a forced smile.
He thinks he's done. With no acknowledgement that they were using extra perks as hush money. Neither he nor Viv reached for a glass.
"Hot nuts," Viv said.
"Excuse me?" Robert looked toward her with a confused expression.
"That's what I like best about first class. They heat the nuts."
Rex hid a smile. Leave it to Viv. Hot nuts indeed.
Allison picked up the conversation with a smooth tone. "As part of our hospitable service and by way of saying mahalo, we'll have your steward collect your bags and escort you off the ship right after the final lunch." She cleared her throat to add, "Before the others. That way you can catch the private limo to the Hilton Hawaiian Village and check in before the scrum."
She sat back against the overstuffed cushion, the liquid in her glass splashing onto her lap. "Oops," she giggled, taking a sip.
So that's their plan, Rex thought. They've offered up all kinds of upgrades and special deals. But what I want to know is how they found out where we're staying.
"How did you know our destination, the Hawaiian Village?" Rex asked.
"We have our ways. And you'll find an upgrade there as well. Arranged by Captain Barclay, again as a thank you for helping us out."
Rex narrowed his eyes. "So we're both getting all of those perks—the upgrades and the special limo etcetera—and what do we owe you in return?"
Redford's mouth hardened. "That has to be obvious, Redondo. Keep your mouths shut. Both of you. That's what you owe us. Take the extras and go about your business as usual.
"No one needs to know about the body. And how about I make it even more clear? If you or that one"—he pointed to Viv—"say a word, I'll make sure the cops will hear about how you made a nuisance of yourselves during the cruise.
"How you were caught in the morgue snooping around. Maybe covering your tracks. How you ran nearly naked in the corridors. Not exactly a recommendation for sanity, now is it? Even if there's no real evidence, the police will keep you for questioning and ruin the rest of your holiday. We'll be long gone by then. Inconveniently floating in the international waters of no-man's land."
Viv spoke up. "The police aren't dumb. Being a nuisance isn't cause for arrest. Otherwise half the passengers would be hauled away. You're going to have to come up with something more threatening than that."
Rex spoke quietly, with a surprising change of subject. "I wonder how you'll all look in those new red uniforms."
"What do you mean?" Redford thumped his glass on the table. He rubbed at his eyes.
Allison gave Redford a quick glance. "We have no idea what you're talking about."
"Yes, you do!" Bertha spoke up. "I don't know how he found out, but he did." She glowered. "Aloha has sold their shares of the company. The new cruise line will be taking over right after this voyage. All the employees have been fired. And I, an old lady, will be forced to vacate my stateroom."
She held her hands tightly in her lap.
In a flash, Rex understood, right as Viv's fingers dug into his forearm. "So that's what all of this is about," he stated calmly. "You dumped Jon Jon Mulroy to keep the cruise ship authorities in the dark about yet another death.
"The late-night parties and the cavorting finally cost you. Maybe upstairs was working well, until Jon Jon crossed the staff-passenger line. But the basic infrastructure was falling apart bit by bit."
"Just a change of business practices," Robert mumbled. "You don't know how hard it was after the pandemic. No one was booking cruises and it was nearly impossible to hire any help. We loosened up on our staff guidelines to attract and keep employees. It worked for a while…"
Allison corrected him. "It helped keep employees, but passengers were still complaining."
"What kind of complaints?" Rex asked.
"Well the last-minute no-show of the mentalist unsettled people. Once word got out that the guy we've been advertising for months didn't show, we had to do something. That's why we were so eager to sign you on. Hoping no one would complain.
"And then some of the staff started to ask for extra tips. Our employees had their hands out despite the gratuity policy. Word got back about that. We deflected the first complaints but passengers went over our heads.”
"I'm beginning to understand why you were so defensive with me," Viv mumbled.
"And then there were actually four deaths," Bertha said in a tart voice.
"Four!" Rex exclaimed.
"Not that it's any of your business." Redford glared.
Allison took up the explanation. "Before this cruise," she began in an earnest voice, "there were three other deaths in the past three months. Adding another was out of the question. They hired another captain with the hope things would get better. But we were informed in no uncertain terms that one more body on our watch and we'd be fired."
"None of it was our fault," Redford insisted. "The first three were picked up by the shore police. Coroners determined one death was from alcohol poisoning. And then the next two… That was a bitter divorce situation. The custody battle brought them to blows one night. Both died of head injuries as people watched. The passengers wouldn't stop talking."
"Keeping a job is important, but so is justice," Rex remarked.
"You don't understand. So by the time Jon Jon lost his balance on the elliptical and hit his head in the gym, Robert and I knew. We had to clean that up by ourselves. Otherwise everyone’s jobs would be at risk.”
"So the only way out was to get rid of Jon Jon," Rex muttered.
"We shoved all of his gear into the body bag and off he went. Overboard," Allison said very matter-of-factly.
"Since he had no next of kin it wasn't a bad plan—until that one." Redford glowered at Viv. "When she wouldn't give up her claim, we needed another plan.
"Told her she was imagining things. Insinuated that she might be having memory problems." His eye began to twitch. "Once we separated you, we figured we'd be safer. You can convince one woman that she's seeing things, but not when her boyfriend believes her."
"But then she got the idea you weren't feeling well. I knew she'd try to reconnect, so we came up with another plan," Allison said. "Keep her looking and guessing, and then escort her off the ship."
"That's why you had me locked in the morgue," Viv muttered.
"Your bodyguard found you soon enough," Allison scoffed. "And he kept you busy."
"I suspected that you deliberately disconnected my ship Wi-Fi." Viv's anger lurked beneath her words.
Redford spoke. "Once we did some research, we saw that you didn't have a cruise travel plan with your provider. That helped our situation a lot."
"I suppose you poisoned Rex." Viv glared. "Was that also part of your plan to keep him in his cabin away from me?"
"Hey, wait a minute," Rex interjected. "Did you poison my food or something?"
To his surprise, Robert and Allison looked genuinely confused.
Robert cleared his throat. "No, we didn't make you sick. I have no idea how that happened. The last thing we need on a cruise is someone claiming they have noro or some other virus. I noticed you were off your food and staying in your room. So we told Cricket to keep a closer eye."
"And that's how I ended up in the infirmary…" Rex rubbed his hand over his arm. The itch is still driving me nuts! But it wasn't them.
"I woke up in the infirmary next to another guy in a bed," he protested. "Then he disappeared. Was that by any chance—"
"Jon Jon was brain dead. But we decided to keep him on a respirator until we figured out the details of dropping him overboard," Robert explained. "Once that was settled we pulled his plug and removed him to cold storage."
Rex felt confused. His mind fell back into guilt. I abandoned Viv to fend for herself with these dangerous scammers. I'll never forgive myself.
He grew quiet, digging his nails into his shirt.
Something about abandoning Viv triggered a memory…
"What I want to know…" Viv held her hand over his. "Stop scratching," she whispered in his ear. Then she continued.
"When did you realize Aloha had already been bought by another cruise line? And that all of your machinations and treachery were for nothing?"
"Had no idea until yesterday," Redford said. "We thought we were home free after the last dump of the body bag."
Dumping. Like a human life is no more than trash. Rex rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. The acrid scent of smoke and metal filled his nostrils. He coughed into his elbow. Just like Afghanistan…
Rex swallowed back a lump in his throat as Redford kept on talking.
Viv looked perplexed. "What I still don't understand is why Jon Jon was using the passenger gym in the first place. That was off limits, right?"
"Jon Jon was always pushing boundaries. He didn't need the job for money, so he'd show up on the passenger side whenever he felt like it. That's why we had so many rules in place. Basically to keep him in line."
"You could have just fired him," Rex said.
"This was his last cruise under his contract. So he knew he had one more opportunity to make us pay," Allison said bluntly.
"Disposing of a dead body, illegally dumping it into the sea—those are crimes," Viv reminded everyone. "But that's not the worst. Your big cover-up plan got in the way of figuring out how Jon Jon actually died. Did he lose his balance and topple over, or did someone give him a shove?"
She's got this, he thought. She didn't need me or Fernando to protect her. Glancing away, his eyes settled on the Old Lady of the Sea.
Bertha Alcott tapped her cane impatiently. She looked worried.
"What do you think, Bertha?" Rex's eyes narrowed. "About Jon Jon's fall?"
With one more thump of her cane, Bertha spoke. "Oh all right. I did it. I gave that scoundrel Jon Jon a shove with the tip of my cane. I was taking a stroll as the passengers were coming aboard. And then I saw him breaking the rules. No one else was there, so I casually walked over and gave him a good thump in the leg with my cane. He deserved it.
"I watched as he fell over, and I walked away. Imagine having sex every night with whomever he pleased. Cricket and Tonya are like family to me. And all that nonsense with the panties at his insistence. And then I found out…" She lifted her cane to jab Allison's leg.
"You were the Friday, Saturday, and Sunday girl. I bet those panties are still in your possession. Three women on board, having coitus with the same man, and no one to call Jon Jon out for his unconscionable behavior. And Jon Jon? What kind of a name is that! He's not a child. One Jon should be enough for any man."
Allison's face grew bright red. "Stupid old woman," she snarled.
Bertha sat back against the cushions with a huff, her cane resting over her knees.
Images began to spin in Rex's head. He turned to Robert. "How did the other people die again?"
"The first man had been drinking all day in the bar. That night he lost his balance on the lido deck and sustained a head injury. He bled out before the doc arrived.
"Then the quarreling couple got into a physical fight," Robert explained. "Passengers crowded around them as they screamed at each other. Then he toppled over in a rage. He fell into her. She lost her balance as a result. Her head hit a glass table. A shard of glass got lodged in her neck. She bled out before we could help.
"When the husband tried to stand up to call for help, he fell back down. His head bounced off the deck like a ping-pong ball. He never regained consciousness. Something about a brain aneurism. Very sad."
Rex felt a tingling up his spine. "So three people, including Jon Jon, lost their balance and fell over."
He shot a cold stare at the Old Lady of the Sea.
"All of those people flagrantly abused the tenth commandment." Bertha gripped both hands around her cane. "All that coveting. Everywhere I turned, one of them was making eyes at someone else's wife. And then trying to compete in the casino, playing craps, drinking to excess. Disgusting. All of those people required a reset—comeuppance for their behavior. I didn't kill them. I only meant to make life difficult," Bertha argued.
"She reminds me of my grandma," Robert sighed. "Quoting the commandments by heart.”
Rex was speechless. That innocent old woman. He glared at Redford. "Surely you're not saying that your grandma was a cold-blooded killer, using scripture to back up her misguided interpretations."
Viv butted in. "You must have known Bertha was part of the problem," she stated firmly. "I think you gave her special license because of her age."
"Bertha didn't mean it," Allison insisted. "She was at the wrong place at the wrong time. She couldn't help that people trip over her cane."
"Oh, I intended it." Bertha thumped her cane against the floor. "Someone has to care about the morals of the ship. This is my home, don't forget."
Rex looked at the cane in her hand. So that's the weapon, he concluded. She tripped people, which didn't kill them, but it certainly put things into motion that led to the deaths of four human beings.
Before he could warn Bertha about her right to an attorney, Viv asked, "Did you trip Sandi with her cane? Is that why the box went flying at the memorial?"
"Of course I did. Silly child. She pretended her father passed for attention. I noticed right away how she preened and giggled every time someone stopped to chat with her. Disgusting. Pride goes before the fall." Bertha smirked.
Rex held up his hands. "I recommend that you don't say anything more until your lawyer is present." Bertha's face grew pale. She began to object when Rex's phone rang. He reached into his pocket.
"Hey, boss," came Sutton's voice. She sounded uncharacteristically subdued.
"We got a confession," he told her, loud enough for everyone to hear. "It was Bertha Alcott. And Robert Redford and Allison Thompson as accessories. You can make that call now."
"I alerted the precinct. Just needed to fill in the blanks," came Sutton's response. "And tell Viv I'm on the other thing. Take care of yourself," she added in a soft voice before disconnecting.
Discomfort rose in Rex. Sutton's acting oddly. Where's her usual banter? Has she gone soft on me? He turned to Viv. "Sutton said to tell you she’s on the other thing. What did she mean? And what is this about her seeing me soon?"
"That's for Sutton and me to know and for you to find out. But right now I want to get out of here. I don't suppose these three are going anywhere, unless they want to swim to shore." Viv stood.
Once they got to the door, Rex turned around. "Give me a second," he told Viv.
He lifted the cane from Bertha’s hands. "I'm confiscating this as evidence. Now that you confessed your involvement, the CCTV footage may pick up more evidence. The truth will set you free," he told her. "That's also in the Bible. Somewhere in John 8, if I remember correctly."
Viv took his elbow as they left the room.