It took everything Lazarus had not to fall on his ass. The shakes racking his entire body wouldn’t let up. He’d never been that close to losing himself, had never stared through the eyes of his demon like that, feeling the darkness taking hold and knowing there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Eve continued to hold his hand, and somehow, despite how small and soft and so obviously weaker than his it was, it was that connection, her tight grip, that was holding him up. The only thing.
“You’re burning up,” she said and wrapped her arm around his waist.
She led him to the bedroom and he followed, struggling, trying desperately to find the words to tell her how he felt. How grateful he was. Christ, that she’d saved his life.
Eve pulled back the covers and turned back to him. She looked worried.
“I’m okay,” he managed. “I’ll be fine.”
Her eyes were wide as she gently ushered him to the bed, making him lie down. “You need to rest.”
She started to move away, but he grabbed her wrist, stopping her. “Will you stay with me?” Fuck, she was beautiful. And not just on the outside. Her inner beauty shone through so damn bright he felt the warmth of it soaking in deep, right down to his bones.
“I’m just getting you a drink. I’ll be right back.”
He tracked her as she left, couldn’t bring himself to look away from the door until she was back. She handed him a glass of water and he drank it, then he held his hand out, asking her without words to climb in with him.
She didn’t hesitate and slid in beside him, wrapping her arm around his waist. The heat of her skin soaking through her clothes, the weight of her body against him, was comforting. If he had the strength he’d pull her closer.
She tilted her head back looking at him. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “This was my fault. You needed me. You needed me and didn’t feel you could come to me. You almost lost yourself trying to protect me.”
Lazarus stilled. What? “No, Eve. God, no. None of this was your fault. None of it. I fucked up. In every damn way I could have. Yeah, I was trying to protect you, because I’d hurt you and I was ashamed of myself.”
She pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “I think we need to work on our communication skills. This, what’s happening here, is new territory for both of us. I think that allows for mistakes.”
He shook his head in awe of her. “I’ve never met anyone like you. Christ, you…you make me feel things that scare the shit out of me. Have me questioning everything…doubting things, things I thought I would never falter on.” He felt her heart beating faster against his side as he buried his nose in her hair and breathed her in. The action, her scent, her warmth, soothed him instantly.
A vision of Tobias doing the same to Scarlet flashed through his mind, along with a large dose of pain. Because, fuck, he got it. If he hadn’t before, he did now. The woman in his arms was the most important thing in his world and he’d do anything to protect her.
“What happens now?” she said softly.
“I don’t know,” he rasped.
Her finger traced one of his tattoos. “I don’t either, and I think that’s okay.”
They were quiet again for several seconds.
“Eve?” he said into the silence.
“Hmm?”
He didn’t know what happened next, how to get there, but he did know what he wanted. He also knew what taking it, keeping that happiness would cost him. He didn’t deserve it, but right then, lying with Eve, he didn’t think he had any other choice but to reach for it. “Hold me tighter, sweetheart,” he said into her hair.
She didn’t hesitate.
He’d never felt anything like it in his life. No one had ever taken care of him like Eve had, like she was now. He was a warrior. His brothers were warriors. All they knew was fighting and blood and pain.
The angels had screwed them over in so many ways. Except in this.
This was a reward. A gift.
And, God, he realized at that moment just how much he wanted to keep her.
“I want to show you something,” Lazarus said as he led Eve up the stairs to the rooftop the next evening. They’d spent the day together and he wasn’t ready for it to end. He’d have to go out and continue his search for Tobias soon, but first, he wanted to give Eve something in return for everything she’d given him.
He used his senses to feel for demons, for anything that could cause Eve harm. The coast was clear. She was laughing by the time he pushed through the door to the roof, the sound high and breathy and one of the most beautiful things he’d ever heard.
“Wow, the view up here is…it’s gorgeous,” she said, beaming up at him when he pulled her to a stop. “Thank you for showing me.”
“This isn’t it,” he said, a smile teasing his lips.
She searched the rooftop. “Where is it, then?”
He shook his head. “It’s not down here. It’s up there.” He pointed to the sky above them.
Her eyes widened. “You mean…”
“You in the mood for some night flying?”
She bit her lip. “So you’re going to…” She motioned to his back. “And we’ll…”
“Yes,” he said, chuckling. “You game?”
Her face lit up. “Um…yes, I’d love that.”
Lazarus grinned, couldn’t help himself. The look on her face was sheer delight. He tugged off his shirt, tucked it in his back pocket, and unfurled his wings.
Eve stepped toward him, her gaze moving over his charcoal wings. “Can I touch them?”
He had to swallow, his mouth suddenly dry. “Yeah, of course.”
She moved around him slowly and the feel of her eyes on him had his skin feeling too tight for his body, had tingles sliding over his scalp.
And then he felt it, her hand moving over the inner arch of one of his wings. No one had ever touched him there, not once in his whole life, and he shuddered at the sheer pleasure the sensation shot through him. How it only intensified the more she touched them, petted them.
“The feathers, they’re so soft,” she said.
He shivered at the sound of her voice. It was like everything grew more sensitive while she touched them. Just her voice lifted goose bumps across his skin.
His cock pulsed hard against the zipper of his jeans.
“No one’s ever…” He had to clear his throat. “No one’s ever done that to me before,” he said.
“Do you like it?” The little rasp to her voice said she already knew the answer to that question.
“Yeah, I like it.” He reached back and tugged her around to his front before he disgraced himself, and kissed her, hard and deep, then he lifted her in his arms, spread his wings, and took flight.
Eve gasped, her arms tightening around his neck as he shot higher, carrying her over streets and rooftops until they were high enough to take in the whole of the city. Her arms were still tight around him and she’d pressed her cheek against his.
He wanted to see her face. “Do you like it?”
“Like it?” she whispered. “This is…it’s…” She laughed, the sound so full of joy and happiness Lazarus’s heart pounded harder. “There are no words. Thank you.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you so much for this.”
“Any time, sweetheart,” he heard himself say.
They were up there for a while. He was reluctant to take her back. He loved the feel of her in his arms, the way her breathing quickened, her soft gasps, her laughter, as he flew through the sky at speed.
He wanted more of this. More nights like this. More nights with Eve…
Lazarus gasped, squeezing his eyes shut as a sharp pain sliced through his skull.
“Fuck.”
“What is it?” Eve asked, sounding panicked.
He kept hold of her and headed back to the club as fast as he could.
“It’s Tobias,” he said. “I can feel him.” He’d sensed his brother in this city many times since he’d been here, but he’d always covered his trail.
Tobias wasn’t hiding now. He wanted Lazarus to find him.
It had to be a trap. Of course, it was. There was no other reason Tobias would open himself up like this. It didn’t matter. This could be Lazarus’s only chance.
They landed back on the roof and Lazarus rushed Eve to the safety of their apartment.
“What are you going to do?” she asked, watching him as he strapped on his weapons.
He met her blue eyes with his own. “End it.”
Before he walked out the door she called his name. He turned back to her.
“Please. Be careful.”
For the first time in a long time, there was someone he wanted to come home to. Someone who made all of it, his long life of nonstop fighting, of struggling, bearable. He rushed down to the club and found Brent, instructed him to watch Eve, but left out his destination. The guy would want to come, and right then it would be more helpful knowing Eve was safe. There was no way he could focus if he thought she was at risk.
He left Brent and headed out to the alley. The narrow space didn’t allow much room, but managed to lift off without effort, taking to the skies.
Lazarus followed the invisible trail his brother was showing him. He felt it like a rope attached to his chest, reeling him in. He let it; didn’t bother resisting its pull. He hovered above a building below, taking a few minutes to send out his senses, to gather his control.
Tobias was alone.
Not what he’d expected.
He tucked in his wings and dropped, gravel crunching under the soles of his boots when he landed a little way back from the building.
He kept to the shadows and scanned the area. There had been several lights outside, but all were broken. The place was a rundown apartment complex, abandoned, unused, and according to the big sign nailed to one of the boarded-up windows, scheduled for demolition.
The front doors were boarded as well, so he made his way around the perimeter, searching for another way in. Several loud bangs came from the rear of the building, and on silent feet, he moved toward it. An open door swung on rusty hinges. A strong gust sent it crashing into the frame before swinging back once more.
Pulling the door wide, he entered the pitch-black interior. His eyes strained, trying to adjust to the inky darkness. Most demons had advanced sight. Laz was the only one among his brothers who hadn’t inherited the ability from his demon father, though his other senses made up for the lack. Both facts Tobias knew.
What he assumed was broken glass crunched underfoot, and the only other sound was his own shallow breaths.
He followed the sense of dread prickling the back of his neck, a dark malevolence that turned his stomach and excited him all at once. A door to one of the ground floor apartments hung open, an obvious invitation to enter.
He stepped inside and tensed as a wave of hatred slammed into him, covering him like a thick shroud.
“Nice of you to pull your dick out of that demi long enough to stop by.” Tobias’s voice echoed through the gloom.
Lazarus swung around, trying to follow his brother’s voice. It seemed to come from all directions and he couldn’t pinpoint his location.
“You wanted me to find you,” Lazarus said. “So let’s get this over with.”
Tobias’s mirthless chuckle lifted the hair on the back of his neck. “You’ll wish you hadn’t.”
He strained to see, trying to make out shapes in the darkness. “We were your family once, T. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” he called into nothingness, purposely using the nickname. Tobias’s hiss and bellow of rage made it clear he’d hit his mark.
“My family is dead. You killed her,” he roared back, his hatred echoing off the walls.
“Then hurt me, not the others. Why are you doing this, T?”
“Stop calling me that,” he roared, his panted breaths harsh and raw. “And you know exactly why I’m doing this. I want you to suffer like I have suffered. I want you to watch everything that is important to you destroyed.”
The pain in the other man’s voice shook Lazarus to the core. With his demon in the driver’s seat, he shouldn’t be capable of feeling any emotion that didn’t go hand in hand with hatred. “They were important to you once, too. Your brothers would have done anything for you. You loved them, T. Don’t do this.”
Images of Scarlet and her mate flooded his mind. The way they’d looked at each other, loved each other. Was that male truly gone?
This was his fault. Lazarus was the reason Tobias had chosen to succumb rather than continue to fight. His reason for living was gone. He got that now, more than ever. Lazarus had taken her from him.
“Shut up,” Tobias seethed. “You’re wrong. I only cared about Scarlet. She was my mate, my strength, and you couldn’t fucking stand that. You couldn’t handle that with us mated, I was stronger than you, my powers greater. So you took her from me.”
“I was happy for you, and for Scarlet.” Arms outstretched, he began feeling his way along the wall, following Tobias’s voice. His eyes had adjusted slightly, but it was still too dark to see much more than faint outlines.
“Bullshit.”
Lights flashed on, blinding him for a few seconds. He blinked against the harsh brightness before he spotted Tobias a few yards from him. He wore jeans and a plain white T-shirt. His long blond hair was neatly tied back. His handsome face was smooth, showing no outward sign of emotion.
The only way he could tell this was no longer the male he’d once called brother was the large unwavering black irises staring back at him and the deep jagged scar on his forearm where he’d cut out his angel’s brand.
Then he spotted the woman a short distance from Tobias. Tied to one of the building’s exposed support beams, a young demi stood motionless. Her head was slumped forward. Rust-colored streaks of drying blood stained her clothing and smeared the length of her bare calves and feet.
The evil inside the male before him, a male he had once loved, still managed to rock him to his soul. “What have you done? Why would you do this?” He barely recognized his own agonized voice.
Tobias slid his fingers under the female’s chin, lifted her head, and brushed back her blond hair to reveal her face. His nostrils flared and for a moment he looked as surprised as Lazarus by her features. She was so like Scarlet that her name whispered past Lazarus’s lips.
Tobias’s black eyes turned back to Lazarus, an expression on his brother’s face he had no hope of reading.
Finally, he made a mirthless rusty sound that didn’t hold a trace of humor. “Apparently, I’ve been searching for a replacement. Unfortunately, it looks like this one didn’t make the cut.” He paused, taking in the deep slices marring the petite female’s pale skin. “Or maybe she did. Just not in the way either of us hoped.”
Lazarus couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Scarlet wouldn’t want this. She would despise what you’ve become.”
“Do not speak her name. You know fuck all about that female and what she would want.”
Lazarus took in Tobias’s cold expression, the blood of an innocent demi drying on his hands, and fought to stay upright. He was so close to falling to his knees under the crushing weight of pain and regret pressing down on him. He’d grieved the loss of this male, a male who had once been his brother. Deep down, he’d held the smallest grain of hope that maybe he wasn’t completely lost to them.
That hope shattered the minute the lights came on. Tobias had succumbed to his demon long ago, and though Laz wished otherwise, was beyond help.
Lazarus fought to maintain control as his demon howled for release. He held on with everything he had, and keeping Eve at the forefront of his mind helped. He had to keep her safe.
“Maybe I want my power fully restored,” Tobias said. “The kind I can only get from another mate. The kind you…” His gaze bored into Lazarus then his head tilted to the side as if he were focusing on something. He barked a harsh laugh. “You haven’t taken her as your mate yet. Still a fucking coward, then?”
And just like that, calm settled over Tobias. The easy grin he flashed Lazarus offered a painful glimpse of the male he’d once been.
“I have to go now, Laz, but we will catch up again soon, yeah? I promise you that.” He motioned to the lifeless female at his side. “I’m kinda busy at the moment. I hope you don’t mind cleaning up.”
The lights went out again, followed by Tobias’s retreating footsteps. Lazarus tried to follow, but he was too late. Tobias had vanished into the night, once again covering his trail.
With his demon clawing at his psyche, Lazarus used what was left of his dwindling power to incinerate the demi’s limp, lifeless body, unable to summon the strength to do anything else for her.
His control had all but disintegrated, and there was no stopping it at this point.
He needed Eve.
Wanted her.
God help anyone who tried to get in his way.
He sprinted from the building and took flight.
By the time he reached the club, he was barely hanging on by a thread. He rushed in, snarling and growling, shoving people aside to get to her.
His knees went weak as a rush of energy hit him. Fuck, he could feel her.
Close.
She was under his skin. Pumping through his veins.
So close.
Lazarus pounded up the stairs. He just had to hang on a little longer.
He used his powers to unlock the door, and it swung open with a bang. The small living room was dark. The only light was flickering from the television, casting a colorful wash over a surprised Eve.
She sat on the couch dressed in an oversized T-shirt, her smooth legs bare, and Christ, he got a tantalizing glimpse of pale blue panties.
She shot to her feet. “Thank God you’re okay. I was worried out of my mind.”
He couldn’t answer.
She stared at him wide-eyed, her pupils enlarged as she strained to see him clearly through the dim light, trying to see the condition he was in.
“Lazarus?” she whispered. “Are you…is everything all right?”
“Come here,” he choked.
“What’s going on?”
“Now,” he ordered.
Her breath hitched and she took a step closer.
That was when he got a trace of something, something that tightened his already hard cock to painful proportions. Even in the dim light he could see her face darken with desire—there was no mistaking it. He just hoped like fuck there wasn’t fear there as well.
His demon senses came alive. He could hear her heart racing behind her ribs, the way each exhale rushed from between her parted lips. Smell the intoxicating scent of her arousal. Her body seemed to be responding to his need.
Thank fuck.
He stalked over to her, chest pumping with every labored breath, and gripped the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head.
She gasped.
“I can’t stop,” he choked.
Her tongue darted out, licking her plump lower lip. “It’s all right. I’m here.” She pressed a soft hand to his chest. “Take it, Lazarus. Take what you need.”
He growled at her shakily spoken words, the unmistakable need in her voice, and fisting a handful of her sexy, tousled curls, he hauled her up against him and took her mouth in a hard kiss. He nipped and sucked the tender plump flesh, demanding entrance, and she opened for him without resistance or hesitation. Her heart thudded against his chest, and he moaned at the sweet taste of her, the exquisite sensation of her mouth under his.
He wanted more, so much more.
Lazarus pulled back and spun her around, holding her back flush against his chest, her ass nestled against his hard cock. He walked her forward until they reached the small dining table in front of the windows overlooking the busy city below.
He wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck and bent her forward over the wooden surface then ran his palms down the smooth expanse of her bare back. The feel of her warm skin soothed his demon somewhat, but not enough.
The urge to taste her was overpowering, and he dropped to his knees, unwilling to deny himself any longer. Gripping the sides of her underwear, he tore through the fabric. Her startled cry drew his gaze to hers, had him freezing in place, terrified that he’d frightened her. She watched him over her shoulder, but there was no fear there, only need, hot and intoxicating. Sexy as fuck.
She wanted this just as much as him.
“Open for me,” he forced out past the lump in his throat.
She didn’t hesitate and spread her legs farther apart. Her scent hit him hard, and he groaned. He’d been craving her, desperate to taste her again.
He parted her tender flesh, and the sight of her glistening and ready nearly unmanned him. He leaned in to taste her fully, lapped at her arousal greedily, drinking her down. She tasted fucking amazing.
Eve gasped and pushed her ass back in an attempt to get closer. Uninhibited, needy. And her sexy little moans had him growling his approval.
He worked her clit with his fingers, fucking her with his tongue, and he didn’t let up until her body spasmed and she cried out. She came hard against his mouth, but he wasn’t finished. Not slowing, Lazarus continued to lick her and didn’t stop until he’d wrung every last bit of pleasure from her trembling body.
When she collapsed on the table, he stood and ripped open the front of his jeans, freeing his cock. “Hang onto the edge,” he said, voice raw with lust.
He fisted his shaft, and skimming past the full cheeks of her lovely ass, plunged into her hot, wet pussy.
She cried out, and for a split second he worried that he might have hurt her, but then she pushed back, trying to take him deeper, and any worry disintegrated under a red haze of lust.
He gripped her hip and pulled out inch by painstaking inch, tormenting them both. Loving the way his cock glistened with her juices, proof of her desire for him.
The tiny thread of control he’d been hanging on to for all he was worth snapped, and he thrust home, taking her like a man possessed. Which wasn’t far from the truth at that point.
The table scraped against the tiled floor as his brutal thrusts drove it forward. Eve arched her back and cried out when her second climax took hold, squeezing repeatedly around his cock, driving him damn near insane.
“Shit.” He panted hard. He didn’t want to come yet, wanted to take her over the edge once more. He needed to make this good for her. He’d fucked everything else up. He wanted to at least do this right.
The silvery thread was right there, calling to him, crying out for him to make Eve his mate, but he forced himself to ignore it.
Sweat slicked his skin from the effort of resisting, from holding off his own release. God, he wanted to fill the female writhing beneath him with his seed, mark her with his scent. Reaching around her body, he began to circle her clit with firm, even strokes.
“Oh God. I…I can’t,” she whimpered.
“You can,” he growled, his voice desperate even to his own ears.
Then the first ripples of her orgasm began teasing his cock. He gritted his teeth and held onto her hips tight, thrusting hard, fucking her with short, deep strokes. Eve screamed as she went over moments later, and he exploded, going with her, gripped by the most powerful release of his long life.
When he was wrung dry, he collapsed, resting his forehead against her back. “I’m sorry, Eve,” he panted over and over.
After a few minutes, she whispered, “Please, don’t be.”
He barely registered her words, but didn’t miss the hurt in her tone. His cock was still achingly hard, his hunger for her not even close to being sated. He reluctantly pulled out of her warmth and standing her up, eased her around to face him.
He brushed the hair back from her face and cupped her chin, lifting it so her gaze met his. He leaned in and captured her mouth with his own.
The kiss was slow, claiming, and when he finally pulled back, she looked up at him, flushed and sexy as all hell.
He ran his thumb across her swollen bottom lip. “I’m going to carry you to that room and I’m going to have you again, not because I need you to quiet my demon, but because I want you again so bad I can’t think straight. Because every part of me craves every part of you.”
It was all he could manage before he lifted her off the ground and strode to the bedroom.