Once inside his house, Drew started to take off his boots and Chloe reached down to unlace her trainers.
‘There’s no need for that,’ he said firmly. ‘These are my work boots and they probably have oil and tar on them.’
She straightened up, fascinated by this glimpse into Drew’s home life. The small but smart modern semi was situated on a quiet street opposite the memorial hall. She’d always linked him with the romantic charm of the Marisco and it seemed odd to think he spent any time in such ‘ordinary’ surroundings.
She also couldn’t help noticing a cherry-coloured coat hanging next to Drew’s own waterproof. She was sure it wasn’t Drew’s colour and anyway, he wasn’t a size ten. Maybe it belonged to ‘Caitlin’ although Drew hadn’t taken her bait when she’d hinted about his current love life. The only woman he’d spoken about so far was Katya.
‘I’ll get us a drink,’ he said warmly. ‘Why don’t you make yourself at home?’
He delved into a sideboard behind her while she took in the surroundings. The sitting room was neat but minimally furnished although there were some interesting contemporary paintings of Porthmellow and seascapes that enlivened the magnolia walls. She didn’t think the place was minimal by design; she guessed Drew simply didn’t need extraneous ‘stuff’, especially as he was away for a fair amount of the week.
There were a few framed photographs on the mantelpiece and side table. One was of Drew with the lifeboat crew he used to volunteer with, another showed him sitting outside the Smuggler’s with his parents who Chloe had met at a festival fundraising event. The third photo must be of his son, Connor. Drew had his arm around the boy – almost a teenager – and he certainly had Drew’s fair hair and smile.
Glassware chinked and Drew emerged from the rear of the sofa and held up a couple of bottles. ‘I’ve got beer, gin – the bog-standard kind – some lemon liqueur that I don’t recommend and some single malt, which I do.’
‘The malt sounds great.’
He put it on the coffee table in front of her. ‘My thoughts entirely. I’ll fetch some glasses from the kitchen.’
He came back with two plain tumblers and a jug with some water. ‘I’ve got some dry ginger if you’d prefer it.’
‘A splash of water’s fine,’ Chloe said.
He smiled and poured her a generous measure, followed by a dash of water. He then poured his own drink and they chinked glasses. ‘Here’s to … whatever.’
‘To whatever,’ said Chloe. She sipped the whisky, and its warmth bled into her veins immediately. However, far from feeling relaxed, she was beginning to get cold feet about having a heart to heart with Drew.
Chloe took a larger sip of whisky. ‘Is that Connor?’ she said, pointing to the photograph. It felt far easier to focus on his life than her own.
He nodded and took it down from the mantelpiece for Chloe to see. Close up she saw he had finer features than his father. They both held fishing rods and had broad smiles on their faces.
‘He looks like you and you both look very pleased with yourselves.’
‘We’d been mackerel fishing. Got a good haul. He loves fishing. I take him out in the Marisco when I’m over Brixham way.’ He laid the frame on the coffee table.
‘Will Katya really move back to Poland?’ Chloe asked.
‘Maybe. She’s an accountant,’ he said. ‘There’s a job waiting for her back in Krakow with her brother’s firm. Connor already has dual nationality and experience of a new country is something I’d never try to take away from him. Katya’s made it clear I can visit whenever I like and it’s only a couple of hours’ flight from Bristol but it’s not the same. I’m gutted, to be honest, but I want what’s best for my son. My needs have to come second.’
Drew stopped and took a sip of his whisky. She could almost feel the anguish he was suppressing.
‘I think – in fact, I do know what you mean … it was hard when Fraser and I went through the divorce. Hard for us and for Hannah. In fact, I got over it a lot faster than she has.’
He looked at her. ‘A rift like that is never easy. It takes a long long time and the ripples go on and on, catching you unawares when you least expect it …’
‘Yes. The split itself was painful and disruptive; I missed Fraser like mad. I still do miss him, but … I hadn’t realised how unhappy I had been until the burden was lifted. Poor Fraser, fancy describing him as a burden. Makes him sound like an old sofa I needed to take to the tip.’
Drew laughed. ‘Was he?’
‘Oh no. He was – still is – tall, dark and handsome and charming. Surrey’s most eligible bachelor in his youth. He ended up in our local county mag once. Even offered himself up for auction for charity. That was all before he met me, I hasten to add, but you know, I think he still likes the attention.’ She laughed, and surprised herself. She still fancied Fraser but for the first time, she genuinely thought she wouldn’t take him back even if he offered.
Drew rolled his eyes. ‘You’ll forgive if I’m not impressed.’
‘I forgive you but I have to be honest. I liked being married to this tall, dark, handsome bloke who only had eyes for me. Or so I thought.’
‘Playing away, was he?’
‘Not all the time.’ Chloe smiled, but it was gallows humour. ‘Sometimes he brought her round the house while I was away at events. Saved him money and he didn’t have to worry about the bills appearing on the bank statements.’
Drew swore softly. ‘What a louse. Didn’t the neighbours notice?’
‘Maybe, but they weren’t the kind of neighbours to tell me. We lived in a nice road in the semi countryside with big trees around the houses. One side never actually got round to moving in at all. The other side was a reclusive literary author who didn’t like speaking to people. I did try to get her to join a book club when she first moved in but when she found out we’d chosen Fifty Shades of Grey as book of the month for a laugh, she made it quite clear she wanted to be left alone. So, you could have had Bacchanalian orgies every night and opened a crystal meth factory and one neighbour would never have known – and the other side wouldn’t have cared.’
Drew laughed. ‘Sorry for laughing. It’s not funny.’
‘Oh but it is, in a way. Now I have the benefit of some distance.’ Chloe sipped her whisky. ‘It’s not Fraser that I miss now, though I did move partly to get away from the bad memories in the house. Also, of course, because I couldn’t afford to stay there, but I don’t care. I have far less money now, but I’m happier in other ways. I’m genuinely better off without him. I’m not always wondering if he’s having an affair. I like my own company and I love Porthmellow. I like being able to chat to the neighbours every time I buy a book of stamps.’
‘But?’ Drew said over the top of his glass.
‘I’m very very lucky.’
‘I didn’t ask if you feel lucky, punk.’ He said it in a Clint Eastwood way that made Chloe giggle. He really was a lovely guy. And his choice of malts was top notch if this warm and peaty Laphroaig was anything to judge by. This stuff was as relaxing as a massage in a top health spa.
‘I don’t miss Fraser at all, but I do miss Hannah.’ She tapped her chest. ‘Right in here. It’s a physical ache sometimes. So what you said earlier, about wanting to do what was best for Connor. I know how that feels, I wanted what was best for Hannah …’ she began, clutching her glass tighter. ‘And I’m afraid it split us apart.’
Drew let her breathe before he responded. Fraser had never let her breathe.
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ he said softly. ‘Do you mean that a problem with Hannah split up you and your husband?’
‘No, Fraser and I were already well on the rocks when the issues with Hannah began. I mean that trying to do our best – or what we thought was our best – caused a rift with Hannah. In fact, we … don’t have much contact at the moment.’
His eyebrows twitched in surprise. ‘You talk about her all the time. I thought you spoke with her every day?’
‘In my dreams. I’m afraid I’ve also been economical with the truth about my contact with Hannah.’ She let out a sigh, wishing she hadn’t lied or at least hadn’t kept her friends in Porthmellow so much in the dark. ‘We’ve been, I guess you call it estranged, for well over a year now.’ She paused again, wondering how the months had flown by so fast. ‘I can’t believe it’s been so long. She has a little girl called Ruby. I’ve never met her. Hannah lives in Bristol now with Ruby and his father – a guy called Jordan Rees. Hannah met him at uni. He was a mature student, though mature’s the wrong word for him.’
‘I’d no idea. I’m sorry to hear this, Chloe.’
‘I haven’t wanted to tell people. It’s too much to deal with myself sometimes and mostly, I don’t know how to explain it. You’re supposed to have a happy relationship with your kids, aren’t you? There’s Sam and Zennor who are so close, and they lost their mum. I don’t want to moan to them. And Evie and Troy have such a loving relationship and family. I’m new here and I can’t face all the explanations and questions, especially knowing that I – and Fraser – contributed to the rift. The committee need me to be capable and organised and professional. Not moping about.’
Drew was silent for a few seconds. Then he reached out and touched Chloe’s arm. ‘You don’t have to pretend or put on a front with me, or anyone, but I can understand that it’s too painful to talk about your personal life. I try to keep mine as private as I can, though God knows that’s hard enough in a small place like Porthmellow. Come on, you’ve started now. Tell me about this Jordan bloke, though I have to say I don’t like him already.’
Chloe allowed herself a smile. ‘Jordan’s not a monster … far from it. He’s good looking, and he can be charming if he wants to, but even from the first moment Hannah brought him home, we took against him. He liked to put her down, make sarcastic remarks about her clothes and hair, and our “mega mansion” and “the middle classes”. He picked a fight with everything we said, sneered at the décor, the sofa – even the cushions – and generally made Hannah feel guilty for being our daughter. I really tried to see his point of view for my daughter’s sake. She seemed to worship him and think he was some kind of Che Guevara figure.’ Chloe rolled her eyes. ‘He even wore a Che beret once, not that it’s a crime.’
Drew rolled his eyes. ‘He sounds like a right tit to me.’
His grim humour made Chloe smile. ‘Oh he’s a tit, all right, but a very clever tit.’
‘Hmm. I guess things went downhill from there?’
‘Yes. At first Fraser took the head-in-the-sand approach. He couldn’t stand Jordan but thought Hannah would see the light and leave him.’ Chloe paused for breath.
‘But she didn’t.’
‘Nope. She moved in with him. The irony is that Fraser found out Jordan’s father is a multi-millionaire. Jordan has a trust fund. In fact, he isn’t even called Jordan. He’s actually called Gideon Jordan Rees-Carew.’
Drew snorted. ‘Oh, for God’s sake.’
‘Not that pretending to be something you’re not is a crime either. I wouldn’t mind, but Jordan – Gideon – goes home and lives the life of luxury when he’s not with Hannah. He leaves her in a scuzzy little bedsit with Ruby and has a whale of a time. Henley Regatta, Ascot, polo … and poker matches. He’d been gambling on horses and playing for big stakes in the card games. Hannah was never invited to the events and, in fact, I’m not sure she even knew. No matter what she claims.’ Chloe paused. ‘I’m sorry for unleashing this on you. I’ve never discussed it with anyone except Fraser before, not even Sam. Now I feel guilty for keeping her in the dark. She’s a good friend and I should probably share it with her too, but she has her own problems and …’ Chloe let out a very inelegant hiccup. ‘Maybe I should shut up now.’
‘No, you shouldn’t. And I’m sure Sam would be sympathetic. But God, how do you know all this?’ asked Drew.
‘We heard that she was pregnant – again through a third party – and we were so worried.’ Chloe paused, having to take a moment before she confessed to an act she deeply regretted now. ‘We … we actually hired a private detective to spy on him.’
Drew sucked in a breath. It wasn’t the reaction Chloe had hoped for, but probably the one she’d expected. ‘Oh.’
‘We were desperate. She looked so terrible and so battered down mentally when she did come to visit. Fraser had been throwing himself into his work, staying later and later, and eventually, confessing he was having an affair with Coffee Girl. But even though we were in the throes of divorcing by then, we stuck together on this. We both love her so much, we had to try and do something. Fraser had a business contact who knew Jordan’s father and he told Fraser the truth so we hired a PI to gather evidence. We had photos and videos of Jordan living the high life and even of the amount he’d been spending on poker and betting.’
‘Did you show it to Hannah?’
She gulped down her whisky before replying. ‘Yes.’
‘And I’m guessing it didn’t end well?’
Chloe cringed at the memory of the scene that had ensued when Hannah had found out what had been going on. ‘She went berserk. She said she knew all about it and so what? She said we’d been spying on her and that we’d always stifled her and we didn’t respect her choices. We were petty minded, obsessed with money – which was so unfair, I could hardly speak. She said we were boring and conventional and she was ashamed of us.’
As she lifted her drink to her lips, her hands weren’t quite steady around the glass. ‘She said that she knew about Jordan’s real life and he was ashamed of being born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but had to go home to keep his parents happy – as his mother was dying. She said he’d said she could go with him, but she’d hate it.’ Chloe sighed. ‘His poor mother does have a long-term illness, but she’s certainly not terminally ill.’
Drew screwed up his face in disgust. ‘Wow. Nice bloke. I loathe him already and I’ve never had the misfortune to meet him.’
‘I tried not to, I really did and I tried to convince myself he had issues, but you know, some people are just vile. Fraser was less sympathetic and hit the roof and called him all the names under the sun and said Hannah was naïve and childish for staying with him.’
‘Ouch.’
‘I was furious with Fraser for that. It alienated Hannah even more and entrenched everyone’s positions. She told us never to contact her again. I lost my cool and said I’d rather Jordan had been destitute and homeless rather than a feckless manipulative con merchant.’ Chloe closed her eyes, recalling every word she’d slung at Jordan and the look of absolute devastation in her daughter’s face.
‘For a moment, I saw in her eyes that she believed me. She knew I was telling the truth about him. I’m convinced of it and that’s why she reacted so strongly. The truth really does hurt. In fact, it can utterly destroy a person. Sometimes it hurts so much it’s not worth even seeking it out. I genuinely wish I’d never known about Jordan, or at least never told Hannah about him. If I’d left things as they are, she might have come round in her own time but now I – and Fraser – have destroyed the thing we all love most in the world.’
Drew had been quiet for some time, letting Chloe go on but now he spoke:
‘I don’t know what the right thing to do was, or is. I can’t help, but I know one thing. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of loving your child or doing what you thought was best. Or of telling me – or Sam, or anyone you trust.’
‘I don’t know what to do now. Hannah has totally wiped me and her father from the face of the earth. Fraser’s responded by being angry and he says it’s up to her to contact us first but I’m not so sure. Someone has to hold out the olive branch, even if it keeps getting slapped down.’
‘When did you last try?’ he asked.
‘A few weeks ago. She answered her phone to me, which was a miracle, and we started to talk – sort of – but then Jordan came into the room and she broke off the call. I’ve emailed her again saying she can contact me any time, that I’m always here for her. I keep hoping she’ll get in touch when he’s not around.’
‘You think this git is controlling her?’
‘I don’t know if he’s physically controlling her, or using emotional pressure.’ Chloe shuddered. ‘Either way, it’s very hard not to jump in the car and confront him.’
He nodded sympathetically. ‘I must admit, I have sympathy. I’d want to do the same, but Connor’s only a child and Hannah’s an adult. Do you think that pride won’t let her leave Jordan or that she’s genuinely scared?’
‘I don’t know. She’s in a difficult situation, even if she wants to get out. Leaving will prove us right – though God knows I’d never ever say “I told you so”. I only want her and Ruby to be safe and happy.’
‘I’m very sorry to hear it. I can’t imagine – I daren’t imagine – what it would be like to lose complete touch with Connor, or be stopped from seeing him. Do you think there’s any chance Hannah might come to your birthday? After all, it is a special occasion.’ He smiled. ‘It’ll be my turn soon enough and I reckon you’re only forty once so enjoy it.’
‘I doubt it,’ Chloe muttered and knocked back the rest of her whisky. It burned her throat and she coughed.
‘You never know. It might be just the excuse she needs to get in touch.’ Drew held up the bottle. ‘Top-up?’
‘I didn’t realise I’d drunk the last glass so fast.’
‘Nor me.’
The empty glass in her hand surprised her. Maybe a drink in the pub and a whisky weren’t the best ways of rehydrating after a Zumba class. She’d had no dinner either. If she stayed for another, she might end up answering more awkward questions. Drew must already be wondering that she was a very young granny, but be too polite to say so.
‘I should be going.’ She stood up and felt decidedly wobbly. It really was time to go. ‘Thanks for listening.’
Drew got to his feet. ‘You too. I don’t often talk about Connor. Or my love life.’
He hadn’t really talked about his love life at all. Neither of them had. They’d talked about relationships and family but not love in the romantic sense. Which was both a relief and a shame, because even though she’d been scarred by her experience with Fraser, it hadn’t totally put her off men. Gabe was gorgeous but out of bounds. Drew had a girlfriend and an ex-wife. If she’d moved here for a simple life, she would be disappointed. Porthmellow was just as complicated as Surrey, only with big waves.
‘You can talk to me about this – or anything – any time. Just call me Uncle Drew, the agony uncle.’
‘You don’t really want to hear all my woes.’
‘I hear everyone’s woes on the Marisco. When these city types are hauled out of their cocooned worlds, and suddenly all their tech and strategies aren’t worth a flying fart, excuse me. It’s them and the elements and you see them in the raw. It makes my day.’
‘I bet.’ Chloe laughed. How had she known Drew for the best part of nine months and not seen what a great guy he was? A little rough around the edges, but that was part of the attraction.
Drew softened his tone. ‘Most of them have far less to worry about than you do. Pick up the phone or call round whenever you want.’
‘Thanks. Bye.’
Chloe reached up and kissed him impulsively, aiming for his cheek but he moved at the last moment and the kiss ended up on his lips. He kissed her back – or she thought he was kissing her back, and she threw her arms around him before suddenly coming to her senses.
She wanted the floor to open up and swallow her when she realised she’d smacked him full on the lips with a definitely-not-platonic kiss.
‘My God. Fuck. I’m sorry. Sorry for saying fuck and sorry for that … it … the thing happening.’
He was gracious enough to smile. ‘Don’t be. It … the thing was lovely but this really isn’t the greatest idea. I like you, Chloe. I really like you, but now’s not the best time for either of us, is it? From any point of view.’
‘No, don’t go any further. I’ve made such a fool of myself. I have to go.’ It was terrible. Not the kiss, but the fact he might have a girlfriend, not to mention the fact that he was over a decade younger than she was … both of which somehow had conveniently escaped her notice while she’d been kissing him. Damn, she’d have been at college and partying when Drew hadn’t even left Porthmellow Primary School. How would he feel if he knew that?
Well, she certainly wasn’t going to tell him now. There’d been enough confessions for one night.
‘You don’t have to run off now. Why don’t I make you a coffee?’ he said.
‘I’m not drunk,’ she blurted out.
‘I didn’t say you were, I only meant, don’t leave like this. Please.’
‘I do really need to get home. Look at the time.’ She pointed at the clock in the hall. and reached for the door lock.
‘What? Half past nine?’ Drew said.
‘Late enough,’ Chloe muttered, fumbling with the top lock and wrenching the handle. It rattled loudly. Shit, why were other people’s doors always so difficult to open? Especially when you were desperate to get away.
Drew reached in front of her and twisted the knob. ‘You have to turn the Yale at the same time.’
He had a half-smile on his face but her cheeks burned. ‘Thanks.’
‘You’re welcome.’
‘Right.’
Chloe burbled something as she exited the house but it definitely wasn’t ‘bye’. She didn’t actually run away; she had the presence of mind to realise that hurtling out of Drew Yelland’s house, with tears running down her face, at nine thirty on a Tuesday evening might possibly arouse suspicion – especially with the town band emerging from the Dame Doris Thurlow Memorial Centre and the ladies’ rowing gig returning from practice on the corner of the road.
She gathered her dignity, what was left of it, and held her head high, walking briskly through the village and up towards her house. When she got back she gave her dignity a massive slap round the chops and threw her keys on the counter top. They’d probably leave a lovely dent.
She caught sight of herself in the polished steel of the cooker. So that’s why they called them ‘eye-level ovens’. She wished she hadn’t cleaned it so well because in the mirror-like surface, she could see every shameful detail. Her mascara had smudged, in fact it now looked like two spiders had done a painting under each eye. What a day. She’d poured out her heart about Fraser and Hannah. She’d made a pass at a much younger man who was in a relationship and who’d tried to let her down gently because he was a lovely guy. She felt needy and a hopeless mess. Well, she had to pull herself together.
She would henceforth return to her previous status: not getting involved with anyone, however charming, sympathetic or sexy. She’d reached rock bottom and rebuilding her relationship with Hannah and the festival were the only things she would focus on from now on. Before then, deep joy, she had her ‘special’ birthday coming up, but even that was soured by the fact that her friends had no idea quite how ‘special’ it was.