“What was up with Detective Hard Ass yesterday?” Benji asked by way of greeting as he strode out from the back room. “I thought his glare was gonna burn me alive.”
Kinsley finished cutting up the limes for the busy night ahead. The last customer had left five minutes ago, but soon, the bar would be full again, all to watch the folk singer who hailed from New York City. “Oh, I’m just pregnant with his baby, so he’s getting…moody.”
Benji froze mid-step. He blinked and then slowly lowered his foot to the ground, his mouth wide open.
Kinsley burst out laughing. “I’m surprised you hadn’t heard already. Mary Jane overheard me talking to Remy about it yesterday at the market. I thought for sure everyone would know by now.”
“No, man, I hadn’t heard.” Benji glanced at her belly before his gaze lifted again. “Pregnant, whoa.” He blinked again. “So, are you two a thing now?”
“Lord, no,” she replied with a dry laugh. “He only found out the other day.”
Benji shook his head, obviously clearing the shock away, then approached her. “Well, he’s certainly handling the news well, and stepping up, considering he fixed your bar last night.”
“He’s an incredible guy. I’m just glad everyone’s finally seeing it,” was her carefully worded reply.
Benji chuckled softly. “An incredible guy is not exactly how I think anyone in town would describe Rhett.”
Playboy. Tough. Those probably sounded right to everyone in town. “Yeah, but you don’t know him like I do,” she replied.
Benji kept quiet after that, and she grabbed the rag from the sink to wipe up the condensation left from the last customer’s beer. The bar wasn’t hers anymore, or at least it didn’t feel like hers, but soon, once her insurance claim was processed, she could get decorating. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner about the baby,” she said to Benji, suddenly feeling terrible about that. “It’s just been a whirlwind.”
“Hey, no worries, Kins, this had to be a mega shock.” Benji dropped his backpack under the bar then enveloped her in one of his warm hugs. “Are you happy?”
“Happy and scared,” she admitted, leaning into his comforting embrace. “And everything in between that.”
His hug barely lasted three seconds. It didn’t take much to realize he feared Rhett walking through the door and seeing them again. Oh, the power Rhett had. Kinsey was sure he’d find Benji’s reaction amusing.
Benji organized the liquor bottles in the way he preferred them, switching out an empty bottle of vodka for a new one. “I guess that explains why you haven’t been working as many late shifts.”
She nodded then took her purse out of the drawer. She’d already grabbed her winter coat from the back, and quickly slid into it. Outside, the sun was already setting, the long dark nights of winter ahead. She wrapped her scarf around her neck. “I just can’t do it anymore. I’m so tired all the time.”
“Well, that’s what you’ve got me and Lola for,” Benji said, giving her a nudge toward the door. “Go rest. I’ve got everything here for the night.”
She let him lead her around the bar but paused before leaving. “If anyone comes in tonight who feels off to you or anything, call Boone. He wants us to keep an eye on the customers.”
“Sure, no problem.” Benji pointed at the door. “Goodbye, Kinsley.”
She blew him a kiss then left through the front door. Many nights, she’d seen people come into the bar and take for granted the good people in their lives. Once, she’d overheard one man boast about his wife at home with their kids, when he came in every night to the bar after work. That mistake wouldn’t be one she made. She knew how good she had it, and that’s why she didn’t have lingering trauma where her mother was concerned. She’d spent ten years in therapy after her mom left. The good was all she wanted in her life, and everyone in her life brought something wonderful to it.
When she stepped out, the cold night and a dark sky of sparkling stars greeted her. She drew in the brisk air. With all the cloudy days lately, she hadn’t seen the stars in a while. Those little twinkling lights often reminded her of how small she was, and how life could sometimes be full of magic. She reached into her purse for her cell phone, discovering that Rhett was twenty minutes late in picking her up.
The rookie, Cameron, sat in his cruiser. He was the youngest rookie on the force, only twenty-one. Cute, too, with his all-American blond hair and blue-eyed good looks. Kinsley approached him, and after he rolled down the passenger side window, she said, “I’m going to go meet Rhett at the station.”
Cameron nodded. “I’ll keep an eye on you while you do.”
“Thanks.” She smiled. “Have a good night.”
“You, too.”
She turned away from him, tucking her cell phone back into her purse.“Once a cop, always a cop,” she muttered, heading down Main Street. Being late, sadly, came with the job description.
A few minutes later, she entered the station and was greeted with smiles and waves. Every set of eyes went straight to her belly, telling her they’d all heard the news. But only Doreen, the receptionist, made a move toward her.
Doreen had worked at the station for as long as Kinsley could remember. “Oh, my dear, Kinsley, I heard about yours and Rhett’s exciting news. A baby!” She threw her arms around her tight. “Your father was just beside himself when he told me. How are you feeling?” she asked, leaning away, bright eyed.
“Better every day,” Kinsley answered. It was partly the truth. She’d lost her breakfast immediately after she ate it this morning but then she ate another meal an hour later and was totally fine. Progress.
“Wonderful news,” Doreen said. “You’ll let me know if you need anything at all?”
“Thanks, I will,” Kinsley said with a smile. “I’m actually here to see Rhett. Is it okay if I go back?”
“Not a problem, dear,” Doreen said. Kinsley cupped her hands, looking properly pleased, then gave a quick wave and headed off.
She felt more weight vanish off her shoulders that she didn’t know was there. Everyone who needed to know she was pregnant knew, and everyone seemed happy. Well, Rhett still seemed tense, but things were moving in the right direction. She walked past her father’s empty office and found Rhett sitting behind his desk, his head down as he studied the papers scattered around him.
“You’re late,” she said.
Rhett jerked his head up and glanced at his monitor. “Shit.” He jumped to his feet, guilt raging in his gaze.
“It’s okay,” she reassured him, pointing at herself. “Kid that grew up surrounded by cops, remember?” Rhett looked torn between leaving and finishing whatever he was working on, so she sat in the client chair. “I take it this is my case.” She waved her hand at the papers on his desk.
Rhett nodded, returning to his seat and rubbing his hands over his face. “I got sucked in. Did you walk here alone?”
She nodded, and at his deep frown, she added, “The street is really busy tonight. Perfectly safe. And Cameron’s sitting at the bar in his cruiser. He kept a good eye on me. What have you found out?”
He angled his head, watching her. She knew he couldn’t tell her everything about her case, even if her father was the chief of police. He finally said, “We’re drawing closer to identifying one of the suspects.”
“That’s good,” she said.
He nodded, his gaze sweeping over the documents like he could find all the answers there. “I’ll feel much better once we know the reason why your bar was trashed. The unknown…” Those dark intense eyes met hers again. “It’s an unfavorable position.”
“You’ll figure it out,” she said with a confident smile. “You guys always do.”
He inclined his head then searched through his papers. “Do me a favor, though,” he said, finally handing her a photograph. “If you ever see a guy with this tattoo on his wrist, don’t approach him. Just get somewhere safe, all right?”
Her heart skipped a beat, her hand falling to her belly. His oath to the badge made it impossible for Rhett to disclose direct information about the case, but that sure sounded like a warning. “Is he someone I should be afraid of?”
Rhett’s mouth tightened before he said, “He trashed your bar. Which means he is a threat to you. Promise me you’ll stay away.”
She held his intense stare, which was also oddly filled with a new warmth she saw in him. “Okay, I’ll stay away.”
“Good.” He tidied up his papers and put them in the file, which he then shoved into his desk drawer before locking it. “Want to grab some grub on the way home?”
She’d been thinking about this all day. “Actually, I thought we could grab some fast food and then you can show me what you do for fun.”
He frowned. “Why?”
She rolled her eyes. “Is it really so awful to show me something I don’t know about you?”
“No, it’s not awful at all,” he said, reaching for his winter coat on the back of his chair. “But you’re not going to like what I do for fun.”
“Oh, yeah, try me.”
* * *
A half an hour later, Rhett dodged the first fist coming at his face, but the second landed squarely on his jaw, sending him flying back against the boxing ring padding.
“You’re right, I don’t like this.”
Rhett turned his head and gave Kinsley a bloody-mouthed grin, while she sat on the bench, arms crossed, one leg bouncing over the other. He turned back to his target, and longtime friend, Theo, and hopped to his feet. He charged forward and took his opponent down with his forearm pinned to Theo’s neck.
Theo had retired from the Navy a few years ago and opened Sailor’s on the outskirts of Stoney Creek, but Rhett had known him in high school. Theo filled the void that many military guys needed filled. Most people thought that adjusting to civilian life was a challenge because of the painful memories they took home with them, and while Rhett had his own nightmares and knew that his time in the military fundamentally changed him, one of the hardest parts of returning to civilian life had been the adrenaline. He’d spent his days and nights being on alert, looking for that threat that would kill him or his men. Letting go of that adrenaline had been impossible, which only fueled the nightmares. He knew the pregnancy was why his dream had come back the other night. Any change brought the nightmares back. But that’s why he came to Sailor’s, to get control of himself, and the adrenaline coursing through his veins.
Once a warehouse, now the boxing ring was in the center, with a weight area off to the right, and on the other side were a few punching bags. Theo gave members a keycard to gain access to come and go as they pleased. Only a soldier understood a soldier, and nearly all the gym members came from a military background.
When Theo couldn’t break the hold, he tapped Rhett’s shoulder, and Rhett lurched to his feet. Theo followed. “Leave her at home next time,” Theo said with a grin, his dark blue eyes laughing. “You fight better with her here.”
Rhett wiped his mouth with his forearm then caught the blood there. “I’m not the only one showing off here.”
Theo grinned. “Bring me a pretty lady and a guy’s gotta do what a guy’s gotta do.”
Rhett shot forward with a front kick, but Theo blocked the hit and reciprocated with a body grab. Rhett shifted, latched on to Theo’s wrist, and escaped the hold, sending Theo slamming down hard on the mat on his back.
His laughter boomed in the open space all the way up to the exposed rafters. “Prick.”
Rhett grinned and offered a hand. Theo accepted it and was on his feet a second later. Rhett’s chest felt lighter, his tense muscles slowly relaxing. Only one other thing made him feel so quiet, so calm, and he felt that same tug to get close to Kinsley again. Her soft moans brushing over his body. The scent of her, a pleasing scent he could still smell now. It had been on his mind all day. He’d had sex. A lot. He loved sex, but with Kinsley, sex was…different. Addictive.
Theo bent at the hip, catching his breath, sweat coating his flesh. “And now that my pride has been beaten into the ground, I better get home to the wife.” He cupped Rhett’s shoulder, his hand wrap rough against Rhett’s sweaty skin. “You better go fix up that lip.” He grinned. “Looks like I got a good one in.”
“Please. It’s barely a scratch.”
Theo laughed. “Sure, let’s go with that.” He strode off toward the change room.
Fighting, using muscles and skill for combat, Rhett had trained for years to hone this abilities. The soldier in him needed to be fed, kept in control, and sharp, and he felt perfectly aligned when he turned back to Kinsley. She still sat on the bench with her arms crossed. The old factory lighting flickered, but there was enough on her to let him see her. A brunette beauty in a grungy place, and yet she seemed to suit the place too.
He stepped through the ropes then moved down the stairs, beginning to unwind his hand wraps. When he met her at the bench, she asked, “Seriously, you honestly think that getting the snot kicked out of you is fun?”
“Yes, it’s fun, and I also don’t recall losing the fight, so I’d say I did the snot kicking.”
She slowly shook her head, frown in place. “Honestly, how that is fun is beyond my comprehension.”
Rhett grinned, knowing there was blood in his mouth. “Getting physical and sweaty doesn’t seem like a good idea to you?”
She cringed. “Ew.” His face was in her hands a second later. “Do you need to see a doctor?”
“Yes,” Theo yelled from the other side of the gym as he walked out of the change room. “Maybe get him his blankie too.”
Rhett gave him a rude gesture and Theo barked out a laugh. He headed out the front door with a wave, and it slammed shut behind him. Rhett faced Kinsley. “I’m fine. Give it a few minutes and the bleeding will stop.”
“What about that is seriously fun to you?” she asked, pointing to the ring.
He shrugged. “Just burns off adrenaline, and I’m good at fighting. Would you ask a tennis player why they like playing tennis?”
She hesitated. “Okay, I see your point…sort of.” She scanned the area and asked him, “Does Theo own this place?”
Rhett got a good look at the cleavage in the vee of her shirt before he nodded, and once he’d finished unwrapping his left hand, he moved on to his right. “He doesn’t make money off the gym. He holds a fund-raiser every year to buy new equipment and pay for the space.”
“Really?” she asked, glancing around again, reassessing. “Why?”
Rhett shrugged. “He gets that military guys need this when they come home.”
Her brows shot up. “To fight each other?”
“To readjust to civilian life,” he countered. “You train for years in the military to be a fighter, to respond on instinct, to always be on the alert. It’s difficult to turn that off when you come home. This helps.”
“Oh,” she said. Then soft understanding crossed her face. “Okay, I guess that actually makes a lot of sense.” He liked how she seemed to get him. More than anyone else. “It’s good you all have this,” she added softly. “To come to a place to be together.”
Rhett gave a firm nod then tossed his hand wrappings into the trash can. He turned back to her and took a step closer. He saw the hitch of her breath, and fuck, he got that. Whenever he got close to her, his body responded. Being around her spoke to a very primal part of him. “Other than this, I’m either at work or with your brother and Asher or at a bar.” He took that last step, closing the distance between them, then glanced down into her pink-cheeked face as she looked up at him with those blue beauties. He tucked her hair behind her ear, and the way she leaned into his touch slowly unraveled him. “But there is one other thing I also do for fun.” He lowered his voice. “One other thing I’m very good at.”
Her lips parted, inviting him in for a kiss. But then she blinked, and the heat faded a little from her gaze. A sudden softness crossed her face that had him wondering what was on her mind. “Not interested tonight?” he asked.
“I never said that, but later.” She gave him a little push. “Go shower.”
He held his ground, not moving an inch. “Why?”
“Because you’re gross, sweaty, and stinky, and your mouth is still bleeding.” She tried to push him again. “I want to take you somewhere before I forget I want to take you there.”
He didn’t budge. “Is it going to involve that show you and Remy watch…Housewives of…something?”
“The Real Housewives of Orange County?” She stopped pushing and laughed softly. “No. Why would you even think that?”
“Because you and Remy talked about that show for two years straight.” It had been a punishment to everyone who had to endure it.
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine, we do love that show, but no, I’m not going to make you watch it.”
He grabbed her shirt and yanked her closer, loving the hitch of surprise in her breath. “Does it involve bubble baths?”
“No,” she rasped, wide-eyed.
He dropped his head and dragged his nose along her neck, drawing in her scent, which called to him on every level as a man. When he leaned away, he grinned at the heat burning in the depths of her eyes. He lifted an eyebrow. “Long talks about girly things?”
“Oh, my God, Rhett, you’ll see,” she said, giving him a final hard shove. “I promise it won’t be painful. Go.”
“All right.” He began to turn but then stopped to scoop her up in his arms.
“Hey!” she exclaimed.
“I’ll go shower,” he said with all the heat he felt burning between them. “But you’re coming with me.” And then his lips found her neck, permanently ending the conversation.
* * *
With a steaming hot chocolate take-out cup in her mitten-covered hands, Kinsley sat on a blanket next to Rhett on the tailgate of his truck an hour later, with another cozy blanket over her lap. Her body still hummed from their shower together, and luckily, no one had come in and disturbed them. Rhett wore his black winter hat and leather gloves. She, her cute slouchy winter hat. Acadia National Park was south of their location, but she’d taken him up the summit to a parking lot that led to one of the hiking trails.
“I gotta admit, I wasn’t expecting you to find this place fun,” he finally said after many long minutes of silence.
“Well, there’s probably a lot you don’t know about me.”
Unusual softness reached his eyes. “I’ve got no doubt that’s very much true.” He watched her a moment longer then asked, “Maybe we should change that, so why don’t you tell me what you love about this place so much?”
She tore her eyes off the stars shining down on the Atlantic Ocean. “It’s just…quiet. The type of silence I can’t find anywhere else.” She had started coming here when she was old enough to drive. When she really started dealing with her mom’s absence. The tourists didn’t know about this place, and for the most part, no one else came to this parking lot atop the mountain, unless they were hiking the trails throughout the day.
Rhett drew in a deep breath and exhaled a cloud, leaning against his leather-covered hands. “It is quiet. Peaceful.”
She nodded at him, figuring he would like this too. Rhett’s world seemed so small. Work, fight, go out with friends when they asked. Her heart couldn’t help hurting a little at that. Soldiers were brave and strong, and the world owed them a great service, but there was a price to be paid, and Rhett had paid that price. Hell, he was still paying it. “Whenever things get heavy, this just lessens that load.”
He tipped his head back and his gaze went somewhere else when he looked up at the sky. “If you like this view, you would love the stars in Afghanistan. I’d never seen so many stars like I did in the sky there.”
“God, over the desert, the sky must have looked so black.”
“Yeah,” he agreed with a soft nod. “The blackest black I’ve ever seen. The stars were so bright. The whole world looked different there.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Nothing like here.”
She sipped her hot chocolate, wondering over all the things he’d seen, all the missions he’d taken. “Do you miss the military?”
He tipped his head to the side, his curious eyes on her. “Why do you ask?”
She shrugged. “You were in the Army for a long time. You must miss it.”
He loosened a breath and stared up at the stars again, his jaw bunching. “Yes, I miss it.”
“But are you happy being a detective too?”
“It’s satisfying.”
She swallowed another sip of hot chocolate then laughed softly, shaking her head. “That was a piss-poor attempt at dodging the answer—you realize that, right?”
His mouth twitched before he looked at her again. Their gazes held for a beat. Then a haunting darkness fell over his expression. “I might miss military life, but I also can’t trust myself anymore.”
Her gut twisted at the raw pain in his expression. “What do you mean?”
He glanced back up to the sky, his brows drawn together, and his eyes grew distant, going back to a different time. “I couldn’t trust my shot after I got wounded,” he explained. “I’d go back to Afghanistan in a second if I could repair my shoulder enough to know that if I fired off a shot, I wouldn’t miss. Being a soldier was my calling.”
Her heart squeezed tight. “Even with the nightmares you suffer, you’d still go back?”
“In a heartbeat,” he said in an instant. “I’ve never felt purpose like I did when I was a soldier. To protect, to defend, to lead, I lived and breathed that life, and I was very, very good at my job. But the injury has made my reflexes slower. That could kill the men I’m trying to protect.”
“So, you’re saying that being a detective is second best.”
His head fell to the side again, those intense eyes landing on her. “It’s not second best. It’s just another life, not the one I thought I’d have.”
The pain in his eyes was palpable. It hadn’t been there before he went off to the military. She wished she could remove it. “Well, I think you did your job. You saved lives, and they got a good eight years of your service. But considering how you came home, I’m not so sure that it was a bad thing you got shot.”
His brows rose up. “You wanted me to get shot?”
“No,” she said, nudging her shoulder into him. “Of course not. All I’m saying is that you were different when you came home, and if you’d stayed longer, I’m not sure how that would have been for you, you know?”
“I never thought I’d come home.” His lips clamped shut, like he hadn’t meant to say that.
She pushed, feeling her blood heat a little. And not in good way. “Ever?”
He gave a firm shake of his head. “I thought I’d die in those deserts,” he said, so cold and distant. “I almost did.”
She reached for him, placing her hand on his arm, and she was so damn glad when he didn’t pull away. “Did you want to come home?”
There was a long pause. He didn’t even look like himself when he glanced at her. “No.”
“Oh,” she whispered, suddenly feeling like the air had been knocked out of her.
He took in her expression then slowly shook his head as if he hated himself for making her look like that. “You have to understand, Kinsley, that when I left for the Army, that had been the life I wanted. It suited me. The brotherhood, the cause to make this world a little bit safer, and to fight for those who can’t fight a bigger evil, it was all I wanted to do, but there was a cost, and that cost was that you turn off a part of yourself to get the job done. You don’t see faces or genders or ages. You see killers wanting to kill the brothers beside you.” His voice changed then, growing harder. “I trained. Hard. I did my job. And I was good at that job. This civilian life…I never thought I’d ever come back to it. My life in Stoney Creek ended when I entered the military.”
She swallowed the emotion that clogged up her throat. He didn’t need to fill in the missing pieces. The short affairs with women while he waited for a new mission. The danger. The risky adrenaline rush. That was Rhett, through and through. And when he returned home for good, he’d been forced to be something he never wanted to be. She nearly kept quiet, but something in her gut told her to push. “So that’s why it was hard for you when you got back?”
“Just changed the direction of what I thought my life would be.” He paused and gave her a quizzical look. “Out of curiosity, what did you notice that seemed hard for me?”
“Smiling,” she said.
He gave her a look that revealed a whole lot of his raw emotions without saying much at all. “Smiling?”
She nodded. “It’s just…different now.” Haunted. When he silently watched her, she added, “Do you remember when you saved my ass at a bush party one night?”
He shook his head.
Her throat tightened. She wondered how many happy memories had gone away. “I’ll never forget that night. You came to the bush party and picked Harry Sanders up by the back of his pants, hooked his belt hook onto a tree branch, and left him hanging there.”
Rhett’s brows drew together. “I don’t remember that.”
“No?” She chuckled at the memory. “We were in the forest down by Old Man Butler’s. Harry had been feeding me shots all night. I guess you and Boone got wind of my being there and being drunk, and suddenly you came over and had Harry hanging like he was a two-year-old.” Warmth touched her at the lightness in Rhett’s eyes that night. It’d been a long time since she’d seen that. But that had been the first night she’d suddenly looked at Rhett differently. Hell, she thought at that time he looked at her differently too, protecting her when he really didn’t have to, considering her brother was also there. But the moment Boone marched up and glared at a very drunk Kinsley, Rhett shut off all emotion on his face.
A cloud of air escaped from Rhett’s mouth. “Shit. Right. Yeah, I remember that now.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I’d never seen you like that. Or Boone so pissed.” His gaze fell to hers and he broke into a smile. “I gave you a piggyback ride, and you laughed the entire way home.”
Her breath caught in her throat. “See,” she said, pointing to his face. “That’s it. Right there.”
The smile stayed in place. “What’s it?”
She nudged his shoulder with hers again. “That’s the easy smile you used to have. I think that’s the first time I’ve seen it in a really long time.”
He stared at her for a long moment then turned his head and looked up at the stars again. She did the same, thinking that this was the first time in a very long time that Rhett looked comfortable.
Long minutes went by, and she thought that would be the end to the conversation, but Rhett surprised her. He took her hand in his then lifted it up to his lips. Eyes on hers, he pressed his mouth to her hand. “Thank you, Kinsley. For that story. For sharing this place with me.”
Warmth touched everything cold. “You’re welcome.”