Jimmy woke up to Norman knocking on the door.
‘Jimmy? You awake? I’m going over to Mikey Pat about the timber. You want to get up and get the breakfast going?’
‘Yeah. Yeah. What time is it?’
‘Half eight.’
‘Right.’
‘I’ll be back in half an hour.’
‘Grand.’
‘Tell Aesop to set the fire.’
‘Yeah. Seeya.’
‘Good luck.’
Jimmy heard him go out the front door and then the van started up. He lay there with his eyes closed, frowning when he stretched and smacked one foot off the wall. Bloody bunk bed. This was the room where Norman’s young cousins slept and since he was the last one to arrive, he was stuck here. He’d forgotten to close the curtains and the sun was coming right in the window. The wind last night must have blown all the clouds away. There was no sound at all in the house. Not even in his head. The few days off hadn’t done much yet to set a spark to any of the latent music he hoped was buried in him somewhere. He’d had a laugh last night playing a few of his old favourites with Aesop, but his own holy well was still bone dry.
He tried to stretch again in the cramped little single bed and got a sudden feeling of having lost his bearings. Like vertigo. Like the room was spinning. It wasn’t right. The bed seemed to be moving on its own or something. Earthquake? He opened his eyes and was greeted by the sight of two white legs and a bollocks hanging off the top bunk and dangling right in front of his face.
‘Jesus!’ he shouted, pulling his head back and lashing it off the wall. ‘Aw …’
‘Morning Jimmy.’
‘What the fuck are you doing up there?’
‘Well, I couldn’t sleep in the other room. And I thought, hey, maybe badgers can’t climb, so …’
‘Me fuckin’ head.’
‘What?’
‘I’m after banging me … will you either get up or down off that bunk? Do you think that’s what I want to see first thing in the morning when I open me eyes?’
‘Am I near the ground? There’s no ladder on this yoke.’
‘Yeah. Just get down, you fucking tool.’
Aesop dropped onto the floor and walked over to the window.
‘It’s nice this morning, isn’t it?’
‘Lovely. Any chance you could put a pair of jocks on? And get away from the window before someone sees you.’
‘Who’s going to see me out here?’
‘Well I don’t want to see you. Put some clothes on.’
Aesop turned around.
‘They’re in the other room.’
‘Well fuck off and get them then. And Norman says that you’re to … what are you after doing to yourself?’
‘What?’
‘Did you shave your … self?’
Aesop looked down.
‘Ah yeah. Sure that’s all the rage now. Chicks don’t dig foliage these days, Jimmy. You need to take a trimmers across the chest, and then from the belly button down to the bean bag. And that’s a special job in itself. Do you not do it?’
Jimmy just stared at him. Aesop came over, grinning.
‘Do you not do it?’
He started grabbing at Jimmy quilt.
‘Give us a look.’
‘Go away Aesop.’
‘Ah c’mon. Show us your bush Jimmy.’ He had a fistful of quilt now and was trying to yank it away.
‘Will you … stop … will you fuck off, Aesop? Go away …’
‘Just a quick look …’
‘No! Fuck off. I don’t shave, only me face.’
‘You dirty big ape. Women are mad for shaved minges now on blokes. Sure they’re all doing it themselves and everything. It feels deadly man. Well, once you keep doing it. Cos if you let it come back … aw man, the itchies will drive you up the wall. You should try it. But, c’mere, make sure and grab a hold of your balls up and out of the way when you’re doing your hole, right? You don’t want to catch them, I’m telling you.’
Jimmy still had his quilt wrapped around both hands and pulled up to his chin.
‘Thanks. Will you go and get dressed now? And you’ve to set the fire, Norman says.’
‘Yeah yeah. But do you want to borrow me trimmers? I swear, Jessie will be down on you like a felled tree. I have it with me. Do you want to try it?’
‘No.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘After you shaving your hole with it? I’m grand, thanks.’
‘But Jessie …’
‘I’ve never even met Jessie, Aesop. Is that how I should introduce meself to her? Walk up, stick her hand down me pants and tell her I heard she likes them glossy?’
Aesop looked off to one side for a minute.
‘I don’t think she’d like that, Jimmy. She’d probably rather just … happen upon them, y’know? In her own time, like.’
‘If you don’t put jocks on right now, Aesop, I’m telling Norman you slept in the kids’ bed in the complete nip.’
‘What’s wrong with that?’
‘Do you want to see if Norman thinks there’s anything wrong with it?’
‘Eh … no. Not really. He’s already pissed off at me over last night. Jaysis. He’s like eggshells these days.’
Aesop moved to the door.
‘Don’t forget the fire.’
‘What’s for breakfast? I can’t eat any more eggs. I think I’m after making meself allergic.’
‘Fruit salad. We’re in training from now on, Aesop. The tour’s in less than a month.’
‘Do we have any papayas?’
‘Papayas? In Cork? In the middle of winter? Of course we do. Isn’t there a field of papaya trees next door. Go out and pick a few and I’ll throw them in.’
‘I do like papayas. Ever since Thailand. Remember that? You never see them here.’
‘It’s far from fucking papayas you were rared.’
‘I used to love the way they were all juicy and …’
‘Aesop …’ said Jimmy, pointing. ‘Jocks? Please? Go away and let me get dressed and then I’ll see what exotic delicacies from the Far East Norman picked up with the salad cream last night.’
*
‘Is he still out there?’ said Aesop from the couch. ‘Is he not freezing?’
Jimmy was doing the dishes and could see out the window.
‘Yeah. Actually, I think he’s enjoying himself. I asked him could we help, but he just said he was grand. And that you’d only get in the way.’
‘How does he know how to make a door anyway?’
‘Ah, Norman learned all kinds of stuff in the army.’
‘Oh that’s what they do in the army, is it? Ah, right. Well that’s good. I was worried that if we were ever in a war we’d have to make do with guns and tanks and helicopters. But woodworking skills … Jaysis, that can be the difference between defending our borders against invasion and all of us having to learn Swahili.’
‘We’re going to be invaded by Uganda, are we?’
‘You can’t trust them Ugandans, Jimmy. South American bastards …’
‘Anyway, wasn’t Norman in Turkey that time? Remember when they had to help rebuilding a village or something after the earthquake? Villages need doors.’
‘I don’t remember that.’
‘He was gone for four months, Aesop.’
‘Ah, I could never keep up with the mad places that fucker used to go. I only remember the ones where he brought me back a pressie.’
‘Well anyway, he’s grand out there, look. It nearly looks like a door already.’
‘Will we go out and take the piss out of him? He’s far too happy out there with his hammer and his bucket of nails. C’mon …’
Aesop walked out the door and Jimmy saw him through the window lighting up a smoke and saying something to Norman and Norman giving him the finger back.
His phone rang. Dónal.
‘Heya man, what’s the story?’ said Jimmy. ‘Were you able to get hold of Norman’s bird?’
‘Yeah, no problem. She was in the book, so I just called her and told her that everything was grand and no one was hurt or anything.’
‘Brilliant. I’ll tell Norman. She must have been freaked out, was she?’
‘Well, when I told her who I was she went a bit quiet. I think she’s a bit suspicious about anything to do with Aesop at this stage. A mouse was it?’
‘So Norman reckons. He didn’t see it, but I’d still take his word for it over Aesop.’
‘He’s some gobshite.’
‘Stop. You should have seen him. You’d swear Norman’s Granny was back from the grave and chasing him around the room.’
‘Well Trish sounded okay after a bit. She’s working this afternoon she said, but I gave her your number so that she can ring when she gets a minute.
‘Cheers man.’
‘No problem. So anyway, how’s Cork. Relaxing?’
‘As much as it can be with Aesop around. Do you miss me?’
‘I do, yeah. But c’mere, I’ve a job for us.’
‘What’s that?’
‘We need to go to London. All of us.’
‘For what?’
‘Senturion want to start talking about extending the contract. They’ve a few ideas on the marketing side, and they said they want the bass-player thing sorted out too. And they want to talk about America. Plus, we sent over the Leet EP and they’re interested in that as well. Oh, and before I forget, I got a mail from Shiggy.’
‘Yeah, he mailed me too. He’s in Dublin next week for work.’
‘Well, we’ll see what Senturion have to say and then we can talk to him.’
‘Cool. So, when do we need to go?’
‘I’m thinking Thursday. Can you get back here? Or you could just fly straight from Cork or Shannon if you want and I’ll meet you there. Up to you.’
‘Well we’ll see what the craic is. All of us … you mean Aesop too?’
‘Yeah. We should all get together in the same room. If it’s contract stuff, he should be in on it. Anyway, it’d be good for him to meet everyone. He’s only met the head honchos once.’
‘Okay, I’ll tell him.’
‘Will you ask Norman to come too? Maybe he can keep the other bollocks out of trouble.’
‘I don’t know if anyone can do that Dónal. But he’s probably our best bet all right. Right. That’s grand so. I’ll book flights for Thursday morning?’
‘Grand. I’ll email you the details and the hotel and all.’
‘Cool. All the best, man.
‘Jimmy, before you go, there’s something else … eh …’
Jimmy caught something in his voice.
‘What’s up Dónal?’
‘You and that girl in London … Susan, right?’
‘Yeah. But I don’t think that’s happening any more. I talked to her a few days ago and I think she’s had enough. Wasn’t a happy camper.’
‘Oh. Right. Did she say why?’
‘No. Not really. She sounded pissed off though. Wasn’t like her. I s’pose it just sunk in that being with me was going to be a pain in the arse. With the band and all, y’know? She probably had the hump that she’d been wasting her time. It’s a bit of a … what about her anyway?’
‘Jimmy, I … I think I know what her problem might have been.’
‘What? What are you talking about?’
‘You know we have that clippings company working for us?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Well this morning they sent me all the latest reviews and stuff for the album, the tour dates, all that, right?’
‘Yeah.’
‘So they sent me a clip from one of the English papers.’
Jimmy was getting uneasy now. He sat down at the kitchen table.
‘Yeah.’
‘Jimmy there’s a photo of you in there. With Aesop’s sister.’
‘Jennifer? From where?’
‘I don’t know. I think it was just after the Vicar Street gig. You have your arm around her and she’s kind of reaching up to kiss you.’
‘What the fuck?! She was just thanking me for “More Than Me”. Marco was right next to her!’
‘Yeah, but he’s not in the shot. And the caption … eh …’
‘Oh fuck. What about the caption, Dónal?’
‘Well, it kind of says …’
‘Yeah?’
‘Will I just read it to you?’
‘Yeah.’
‘It says … “Collins’ new friend”.’
‘Jesus …’
‘Friend is in quotes. And then underneath, it has … “Jimmy Collins of Irish rockers The Grove is seen above leaving a popular Dublin nightspot with an unidentified brunette. Collins had been dating Susan Plester (27) of Kent since their meeting on idyllic Thai island Koh Samui last Summer, but is this the end of their whirlwind romance? A source close to the band says that Collins and Paul ‘Aesop’ Murray, drummer with The Grove, have been thoroughly enjoying the trappings of their new-found fame. Ms. Plester (below) was unavailable for comment.” It’s only a small little thing in the gossip section, Jimmy, but …’
‘Fucking hell! Bastards! Dirty fucking scumbag cun …’
‘And then there’s a picture of Susan and you underneath.’
‘What?! Where the fuck did they get a picture of Susan and me?’
‘I don’t know. But she’s not smiling or anything and the caption under it says, “Plester … not amused”.’
‘But Dónal … but … and what source close to the band is telling them this shit?’
‘No one is, Jimmy. It’s just a way for them to say any oul’ shite. They make it up.’
‘Pricks! I’ve known Jennifer for twenty bleedin’ years! What paper is it? We have to get on to them and … and …’
‘Jimmy, I know you’re pissed off, but even though it’s all bollocks it’s the kind of thing that happens. You’re not to go mad or anything.’
‘But it’s not even true! We have to sue them or something. Can we? Is that … eh … libel or … ?’
‘Probably not. They didn’t actually say anything that isn’t true, except for the bit about the source and they can easily get away with that. And anyway, something like this is tiny compared to some of the shit they can pull. It’s not worth it. I’m only telling you because I didn’t want you to see it first. And I know how you feel about Susan.’
‘Jesus.’ Jimmy had his free hand on his face. ‘Bastards …’
‘Yeah. Well anyway, you might want to give her a call. I’m very sorry about this, man. I hope it doesn’t mess things up for the two of you, but it sounds like she already saw it.’
‘Well it would explain the last bleedin’ phone call I got anyway.’
‘Man, I have to run. I’ll scan the piece and email it to you. Or I’ll just bring it to London?’
‘Can you email it? Now. I’ll go into town and find an Internet café or something. We’re in the middle of nowhere out here.’
‘Okay. I’ll do it when I hang up. Listen, I’ll catch you later, right?’
‘Yeah. Thanks Dónal. Seeya.’
‘Seeya Jimmy.’
Jimmy put the phone down and looked at it for a minute, biting at his knuckle. Then he picked it up again and put on his coat. She probably hated his guts now but he had to call her and apologise. To tell her it wasn’t the way they made it out too, of course, but more importantly to apologise for scandalising her on the pages of some crap rag. But he wasn’t going to do it here where the other two were hanging around. She had every right to be absolutely livid. Of course she did. Christ, at least Jimmy was getting used to being in the public eye. But Susan didn’t deserve this.
He went out of the house and looked over at the others. He had to tell them about London and about Dónal getting in touch with Trish earlier.
‘No Aesop,’ Norman was saying. ‘Along the grain.’
‘I am.’
‘You’re not. Here, I’ll show you again.’
‘I can do it.’
‘You’re making a balls of it.’
‘Leave me alone Norman. I can do it.’
‘You’re going around in circles!’
‘Will you fuck off! I can paint a bleedin’ door.’
‘I keep telling you, it’s not paint. Here … just let me …’
Jimmy sighed and went over to his car. He’d talk to them later.
‘Lads, I’m going out for a bit,’ he called back.
‘Can I come?’ said Aesop.
‘Yeah, Jesus,’ said Norman. ‘Will you bring him, Jimmy? Please. He has me tormented here.’
‘Sorry man. I have to sort something out. Seeya in an hour or so.’
While Norman was distracted, Aesop made another grab at the paintbrush. The can of wood stainer went flying off the bench and spilled onto the ground.
‘Oops.’
‘You fuckin’ little …’
Norman was looking down at his ruined shoes.
‘Norman … now Norman … deep breaths …’
Jimmy shook his head and sat into the car. In the back window he could see Norman chasing Aesop down the garden.
Twenty minutes later, he pulled in and parked on the main road of Kanturk. His head was still going a million miles a minute, so he decided to walk back down to the river and sit down for a smoke. It was lovely there, with the water folding over the rocks and clouds racing in the sky. When he was sure the email would be in from Dónal, he went back and found an Internet café. Two minutes later he was fuming again, the small scanned article on the screen in front of him.
‘Bastards …’ he muttered. He sighed and pulled out his phone. He had to call her. Had to.
‘Hello?’
‘Hey Susan. It’s Jimmy.’
‘Oh. Jimmy. Jimmy, I’m in work.’
‘Can you talk? Is there somewhere you can … eh …’
‘Well … look, just hang on a minute, can you? I’ll see if the conference room is free.’
‘No problem Susan.’
He heard a few muffled clicks and scrapes as she moved and used the time to take a couple of big breaths. That seemed to go okay. She didn’t sound like she was going to read him the riot act anyway.
‘Jimmy?’
‘Yep. Still here.’
‘Good. I wanted to talk to you.’
‘Yeah? Great. I really wanted to talk to you too. The last time we …’
‘It’s not about us Jimmy,’ she said. She was trying to sound all business-like. ‘I was just wondering if you or Aesop had heard from Amanda.’
‘Amanda? No. I don’t think so. Why?’
‘Well, it’s just that I haven’t heard from her for a few weeks and she said she’d keep in touch.’
‘She’s in Paris, isn’t she?’
‘I think she was, but she might be in Ireland now.’
‘Right. Well, I haven’t heard from her. And Aesop hasn’t been on email for a few days. We’re down in Cork taking a little break. Norman’s Granny’s old house.’
‘Oh.’
‘Why do you think she’s in Ireland?’
‘Well it’s just that the last time she called me, I could hear all these people swearing in the background, so … y’know …’
‘Eh … okay. Well I’ll ask Aesop to check his messages and let you know.’
‘Thanks. I’m sure she’s fine and all, but I just wanted to ask you if she’d been onto you. She was talking about Aesop a lot before she left. I think she’s still hung up on him.’
‘God. Listen Susan, you should probably tell her that he’s not worth getting hung up on, y’know?’
‘I know. I have. But she’s kind of got it in her head. And she really wasn’t herself before she left. She might have the idea that, well, there might be something there and try to see him. It was all, “I must send Paul an email” and “I wonder how Paul is getting on” and all that. She never calls him Aesop. It’s like a special thing they have between them.’
‘They don’t have a special thing, Susan, sorry. And it’s nothing to do with Amanda. She’s just barking up the wrong tree with that fella.’
‘So I gathered. Okay. Well anyway … what did you want to talk about? Jimmy, I kind of said everything I had to say last time.’
‘Yeah. I understand. But I just got off the phone with Dónal. Remember Dónal? Our manager?’
‘I remember.’
‘Well he told me about what they put in that newspaper over there. And he emailed it to me. I’m looking at it right now.’
She didn’t say anything.
‘Susan, I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe those bastards did that. I’m so sorry. I understand now why … y’know … the last time we spoke …’
Nothing.
‘Listen … I mean I’m only starting to get used to all this stuff myself, but I do know how you must have felt. Please, I … it was a horrible thing to have happen to you. And I’m sorry. Really sorry. Susan? Are … are you still there?’
‘Yes.’
She was crying. He could hear the sniffles. Fuck.
‘I got such a shock Jimmy.’
‘I know.’
‘I felt so … God, it was like the Twilight Zone, but there I was on the page.’
‘I’m sorry. If there’s any way to get the pricks for doing that, I’ll find it. I swear.’
‘Everyone knew. Everyone knew I was seeing you. I know it was hard, with you being in Ireland and all, but I was so proud, Jimmy. You’d come on the telly or they’d play your songs in the pub and everyone would look at me and give a big cheer. I was so proud of you. Like a bloody fool. Thought I’d bagged a real live rockstar! God, I’m so stupid …’
‘Listen Susan, before you say anything else … listen, right?’
‘What?’
‘That girl in the picture was Aesop’s sister. Jennifer. Remember I told you …’
‘Oh Jimmy don’t. Please …’
‘I swear to God, Susan. It was Jennifer. I’ve known her all my life. I’m going to be the best man at her wedding this year. Marco is my mate. We worked together for years. He’d be right next to her in the picture if the bastard that took it didn’t cut him out. You would have met her in Dublin except she’s in Galway every other week for work. Really, Susan. That whole bullshit article was nothing only some idiot’s idea of a gossip column.’
‘She’s kissing you.’
‘She’s like my sister, Susan. I’d just given her a wedding present and she was kissing me to say thanks. I don’t know what fucking hole the photographer crawled out of at that particular moment, but that’s the picture he published. And I don’t know where the other one came from either. Jesus, they must really hide behind hedges or something, the fu …’
‘Jimmy …’
‘Yeah.’
‘I … how many girls have there been since I was in Dublin?’
‘One. You.’
‘Please Jimmy … don’t …’
‘I swear.’
‘But why? For God’s sake, we’re not even together! We were just … barely clinging onto it.’
‘I know that. And I know that it’s my fault. Susan, I’m going to be on the road for at least six months this year. I’ll be in the studio for four at least when we get back. How can I ask you to …’
‘But you haven’t asked me, Jimmy! You just figured it all out on your own and decided what was best.’
Now it was Jimmy’s turn to say nothing.
‘Jimmy, I had my mother in tears on the phone over that newspaper piece.’
‘Aw fuck. I’m sorry.’
‘My twelve year old niece was crying because I promised her that she could meet you when you came over to visit. My Dad wants to murder you and you don’t want to know the things my sister says about you. These are people I love, Jimmy. Do you understand what this last week has been like for me?’
‘Yeah. I do.’
‘Jimmy, I can’t wait around for twelve months so you can sort yourself out. I actually thought I might be able to, but I can’t. After this? What would happen? I fly over to see you for a few days, get snapped leaving your hotel some morning? Another notch on the rockstar’s bedpost?’
‘What?! It wouldn’t be like that at all Susan. I’m not like that.’
‘Well, maybe I can believe that, Jimmy. But you’re public property now and I’ve got other people to think about. What would your Mum have thought if it had been an Irish paper? Smutty stories about her darling son. Well I’ve got a family too, Jimmy. I’m not putting them through that. I haven’t been able to go out for a week since that picture came out. I go home from work and watch the TV. That’s it. I was so embarrassed. The groupie. That’s what they all think I am now.’
‘No one thinks that, Susan. That’s only …’
‘Jimmy, please. I’m sorry I gave you a hard time last time we spoke. I thought … well, I s’pose you know what I was thinking. And I’m sorry for thinking it. But no more newspapers for me. It’s not who I am. I don’t do socialite slut and I won’t be your half girlfriend either. I’m sorry Jimmy.’
‘Susan, listen, I’ll be in London this weekend. For work. Why don’t we …’
‘No! Jimmy, please don’t call. Please. I’ve made up my mind. This isn’t working and we need to let it go before it gets worse.’
‘But if we just … this weekend …’
‘No Jimmy. No. God, I can’t see you now.’
She was crying again.
‘But why? Susan, listen, we can have the whole weekend. I don’t have to be back until …’
‘Bloody hell, Jimmy, can you not … not just leave me alone?’
‘No. I don’t want to.’
‘Please. Don’t call when you get here.’
‘Why?’
‘It’s too hard. It’s too hard.’
‘But it’s just a weekend. We can talk … why does that have to be hard?’
She was barely audible now through the sobbing, but Jimmy heard the next thing she said and it was like a punch in the chest.
‘Because I love you Jimmy!’
And then pinpricks of cold marched up his back and into his hair.