‘So you’re really thinking about it?’ said Aesop. They were sitting in his hotel room the next night, drinking beer, having gone another round of meetings with Alison and her lads over at Senturion. ‘I’d have put money on you telling them to fuck off.’
‘Well that was what I nearly did straight away. But I’ve sat around enough tables like that in me life, Aesop. The best thing to do is chill out and think about it. The worst thing you can do is go flying off the handle and telling people to get fucked.’
‘But … joining Leet? I mean, we’ve come this far on our own, haven’t we? Why do we need to do that? I just don’t understand why they’re doing it. One minute everyone thinks we’re brilliant, songs in the charts and everything, and the next minute we’re a couple of oul’ fellas and we won’t sell records. How the fuck did that happen?’
‘We’re selling those records because Senturion want us to, Aesop. They’re pushing them. It all depends on how many records we want to sell. We keep going the way we’re going, without Senturion, and there’s a good chance that we end up being just another band that a few people like. She’s got loads of them bands. She wants U2.’
‘But, Jesus, we can’t all be U2.’
‘I know.’
‘Well … listen, Jimmy, this is all a bit mad for me to be making decisions. I don’t know what to do. Whatever you do, I’ll go along with it okay?’
‘Aesop, it’s too big for that. You need to make your own mind up this time. Really.’
‘But I’m not doing it on me own, man. Joining Leet, y’know? Without you? It wouldn’t be any fun.’
‘Fun? Being rich and famous and touring the world and having every chick on the planet trying to give you ball-hummers wouldn’t be fun? Since when?’
‘Ah Jaysis, Jimmy. Sure that’s practically happening already, isn’t it? I’ve only two balls and I can’t keep up with the girls as it is. And I’m not really there in me head anyway these days, with Helen and all. But c’mere, I meant to ask you … what about me gaff? That’ll still be paid off, won’t it? Even if we don’t go ahead with the contract.’
‘Yeah, that should be grand based on the album. But that might be all you ever have out of it.’
‘But it’s more than I ever had. I’d still be up on the deal. And we’d still get money touring as The Grove. Even if we’re only playing Vicar Street and all that. And there’s always the chance that we might get another record deal. Y’know? So it’s not like we’re bollixed if we don’t sign.’
‘Yeah, I know all that Aesop. And you’re right. But …’
‘But you don’t want it any more?’
‘No, I do. But not like this. Just handed to us, y’know? This way they just press a few buttons and the next thing we’re headlining Reading, y’know? Out of the blue.’
‘But Jimmy …’
‘Yeah, yeah. I know, I’m never happy. You think I’m a fussy bastard, don’t you?’
‘You are a fussy bastard, Jimmy.’
‘I s’pose. But this’ll be like joining another company, Aesop. I just got out of all that shite. I did it for years and I don’t want to go back to it now. Y’know what I mean? That contract went into a lot of details, and all the control goes to Senturion. I’d just be back being someone’s gimp.’
‘But you’d be a gimp with a fleet of Ferraris.’
‘And no self-respect.’
‘Ah, fuck self-respect. And you don’t know it’ll be all that bad.’
‘I’ve an idea how it’ll be. And it’s different for me as well, man. I’m a partner in Sin Bin, okay?’
‘Yeah.’
‘So, either way, I get a pay out. Join Leet, and it’s the big time. Don’t join Leet and I’m still getting my cut of Sin Bin’s twenty percent. Plus production credits on the albums. I’ll probably play a bit on them too. Maybe even contribute a song or two along the way. Y’know what I mean? I’m sorted. Whatever about The Grove, I’m looking good on the business side whichever way this works out. It’s not the same thing at all for you. If you don’t join Leet, you’ve got this album and whatever The Grove can come up with down the line.’
‘And that’s grand, sure.’
‘But Aesop, who the fuck knows where The Grove will go? You need to think about that.’
‘Where’s it going to go?’
‘I’m just saying, Aesop. What happens if me working for Sin Bin takes over? Say we have a rake of bands that we’re managing, producing, all that. Say I’m called over to LA to produce a Leet album this time next year, and I’m gone for six months. That’s six months with The Grove doing fuck all, y’know? You scratching your bollocks.’
‘So … are you saying that you’re going to be giving it up? Packing in The Grove? Either way?’
‘No I’m not. But it might happen some time. You never know, that’s all. In fact, it will happen some day. Aesop, the fuckers are right about one thing. We aren’t kids any more. No one does this lark forever.’
‘But we’re only getting bleedin’ started!’
‘I know, I know. All I’m saying man, is that this is an opportunity for you to clean up while you can. You sign that deal and you never have to worry about another fucking meal for the rest of your life. You need to think about that.’
‘But …’
‘Dónal and me are going to advise Leet to sign on. As their business managers, this is fucking huge for them. And us. Right place, right time, jammy bastards, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. And c’mere, I’m not just your mate or your bandmate. I’m your business manager too.’
‘Me bollix.’
‘Yeah, well I am. And purely as your business manager, I’d tell you to sign it.’
‘What? Without you signing it?’
‘Yeah. Listen Aesop, I’m not trying to insult you here, but playing drums is what you do. You’re not exactly going to be Ireland’s first astronaut, are you?’
‘I don’t like heights.’
‘You’re too good a drummer to starve, man, but this chance is once-in-a-lifetime to go way past that. You need to think about it. Sober.’
‘A bit late for that.’
‘Well, you don’t have to give your decision tonight.’
‘And what about you?’
‘I’m leaning towards no.’
‘Not signing it.’
‘No. I don’t think so.’
‘Because. …’
‘I don’t know. Because I’m a fuckin’ eejit, probably.’
‘So the way you’re leaning, and what you’re advising me to do … it all means no more Grove. No more Aesop and Jimmy keeping it real.’
Jimmy stood up and went to the fridge. He grabbed the last two beers and threw one to Aesop.
‘Aesop, you should sign it.’
‘But …’
‘Really man. I’m not just saying this. You need to sign it. This is a lot bigger than The Grove. This is your chance. Sign it.’
Aesop opened his beer.
‘And what happens to Jimmy Collins if I sign it?’
‘Jimmy Collins becomes a famous producer.’
‘Is that what he wants?’
Jimmy took some of his own beer and shrugged.
‘At least working for Sin Bin means doing things my way. That’s always better than being a gimp.’
‘Ah right. But it’s okay for me to be a gimp, is it?’
Jimmy laughed.
‘They don’t want you to be a gimp, Aesop. That’s the point.’
‘What do they want me to be then?’
‘They want you to be Aesop! Why mess with perfection, right?’
‘But … so I’d just be kind of a hoor then?’
‘Yeah. Your dream job.’
‘But … ah, fuck sake, this is hard. Are we out of beer?’
‘Yeah.’
Aesop leaned over to the bedside table and picked up the phone.
‘Ah yeah. Hello. Is Jonathon there? Tell him it’s Aesop … right, thanks.’
‘I’m a bit full of beer Aesop,’ said Jimmy.
Aesop nodded.
‘Jonathon? How’s it goin’? Listen, what whiskey do you have? Ah, I don’t know where the menu is, just tell me. Right … right … okay … is that all? Hang on …’
Aesop put a hand to the receiver.
‘Jimmy, they only have Tullamore Dew.’
Jimmy shook his head.
‘Okay Jonathon, Plan B. We’ll have to go with scotch. Can you just send us up a bottle of Glenfiddich? Grand. Yeah. That’s grand. I’ll seeya in a minute so. Cheers … oh c’mere, can you get us a couple of hookers as well?’
Jimmy looked up.
‘Aesop …’
Aesop held up a hand at him and kept talking.
‘Yeah. Grand. I’ll have something dark. Not mad hairy though. I’m not in the mood for cross-country this evening. Yeah. No, that’s fine. And … hang on … Jimmy?’
‘Will you fuck off Aesop, I don’t want a hooker! What are you doing?’
‘Ah … no, he’s just a bit shy Jonathon. Why don’t you just call Julie from last night? She was nice. Yeah. That’s lovely, man. Yeah. And the Glenfiddich. Seeya in a minute so.’
Aesop hung up.
‘Sorted.’
‘Aesop, what the fuck are you doing?’
‘You don’t have to ride them, Jimmy. It’s just a bit of company. You want to sit here just the two of us all night?’
‘Aesop, you can’t charge two brazzers to the room. Alison will have a canary. And anyway, I’m not into that. And since when are you into paying for it?’
‘Sure, I’m paying for fuck all.’
‘But … and what about Helen?’
‘Amn’t I after saying that you don’t have to ride them? Hookers know how to have a good time, that’s all. We’ll have a laugh, watch. And they don’t let skangers into this place. They’ll be classy.’
‘Classy hoors? I’m getting the fuck out of here, you mad bastard. And who the fuck is Julie?’
‘Don’t be such a big girl, Jimmy. We’re rockstars now.’
‘I don’t care, you can fuck off.’
Jimmy stood up and grabbed his room key from the bed.
‘I don’t know what kind of …’
Aesop couldn’t keep it in any longer. He started breaking his bollocks laughing.
‘Look at the fuckin’ face on you!’
‘What?’
‘There’s no hookers, Jimmy. Jonathon was already after hanging up. I was only having a laugh.’
‘What? Are you sure?’
‘Yes! And don’t I keep telling you that I’m in love?’
‘Bastard.’
‘How could you think I’d be ordering hookers on room service after all the things I keep saying about Helen?’
‘Prick.’