I have finally come to terms with the loss of my previous life. I now understand that Gabe and the beach house were nothing but a raft to hold on to while waiting for my real life to start, and not one lived vicariously through a famous fiancé.
I am my own person, finally, free of all the anger and pain that up and until now have influenced my every decision. Luckily my snarkiness has saved me from many a tumble.
It had taken me quite some time, but now I also understand that a house is not just about feeling warm and secure in myself. A house will never be a home until it is filled with real life, problems, tribulations, but also laughter, plans, but most of all, it must be the hearth of selfless, unconditional love on behalf of both partners. With Gabe, I had been the only one making sacrifices. But Henry is the complete opposite. Henry is selfless. And any home that Henry and I choose for ourselves and Orson will be just that.
Smiling, I sit and join my friends and family who form our wedding party gathered around the wedding table in our back garden. We wanted something simple, in our new home in Starry Cove, a tiny village further down the coast.
There’s Hope, my matron of honour along with Jowen and Orson as our ring boys and Verity as our flower girl. My beloved coastal girls and Thea are my bridesmaids. All the people who count for us are there, from Henry’s huge family to my muscle men – Bill, Bob, Mike and Paul – and their respective wives, to Vanessa with baby Grace.
They are, mother and daughter, in absolute awe of each other. The baby’s eyes are wide open and she’s staring at Vanessa as if she had a set of lime green horns on her head (which, in the past, wouldn’t have seemed so strange for her).
‘Hey,’ I coo as I take a step towards Vanessa and the pink bundle in her arms.
‘Hi…’ she says, angling the baby so I can see better.
‘She’s grown,’ I marvel, caressing her small head.
‘Say hello to Auntie Fi, Grace…’ Vanessa whispers.
I swallow and look at the tiny human being swathed in a delicate lace blanket. Vanessa and Gabe’s baby. I used to think I’d feel bitterness. But, go figure, looking down at this beautiful little girl, love is suddenly pouring out of me in waves, and not only that, it’s coming out of my eyeballs, too. Because Grace is a very lucky little girl. She has only arrived a few months ago but is already loved by many, me included.
I am so blessed to be here with all the people who have held me up during this amazing journey of self-discovery and finding love. My sister, Hope, my coastal girls and my loyal crew. And Trixie and Bopper. Who knew that the elusive duo of design would become very good friends of ours? Even Travis. I didn’t move to New York, as you can imagine. Because this is my home, and these are my people, in what I know will be our forever home.
All we have to do now is renovate it.
*