13

 

Throughout the drive to the hospital, Niamh kept a worried eye on the sky. Even in the car with the windows closed, she and Patrick could smell burning. She got out of the car as Patrick finished parking.

Thick black smoke hung over the town and the entire northern sky was orange. She wrinkled her nose as a waft of fuel blew across on the wind. Maybe it was a pile up on the motorway.

Patrick locked the car and smiled at her. “Good job we’re not going to the ED. They’re going to be busy.” To emphasize his point, several ambulances shot past the car park.

“Yeah.”

“Ready to go in?”

“No. I hate hospitals. Always have, but the clinic is the worst. Hours of sitting and waiting to spend three whole minutes with the doctor.”

“But if you lose the cast it’ll be worth it. Right?”

“Guess so.” She walked slowly down the hallways to the fracture clinic. She smiled at the receptionist. “Niamh Harkin to see Mr. Smyth.”

“Take a seat.”

As they walked to the only spare seats, Patrick nudged her. “Where shall we take the seats? Maybe they’d fancy a coffee?”

Niamh giggled. “You’re silly.”

“I do my best. Is he on time?”

“Sometimes. Not always.”

“Can I get you a coffee?”

“I don’t drink coffee anymore. I prefer tea, but no thank you. I’m fine.”

Twenty minutes later they were still there.

Patrick’s phone rang. He shot the receptionist an apologetic look and pulled it from his pocket. “I meant to turn this off.”

“I turned mine off before we left the house. I’m a good girl.”

“Yeah, right. Wonder what Liam wants?” He flipped the phone up. “Hey, bro. What’s up? Can’t chat. I’m in the fracture clinic with Niamh. Receptionist is giving me the evils…” The color drained from his face and the joviality vanished from his voice. “That’s why her phone’s off.” He handed Niamh the phone. “It’s for you.”

Niamh took the phone. “Liam?”

“Niamh, I just had a call from the ED.” His voice was quiet and laden with emotion. “They rang me because they couldn’t get hold of you.”

Niamh’s entire body went numb. Her heart fell into her shoes and her stomach twisted into a hard knot before plunging after her heart. “The…the fire? What happened? Is Jared hurt? Why’d they ring you?”

“Jared named me as his second next of kin if no one could reach you. They rang me when you weren’t home or answering your phone. They didn’t give me any details. I think you should get over to the ED. I’m on my way, and I’ll see you there.”

“Kay.” The phone dropped from her hand. “Jared’s in the ED. He was hurt in that fire. He’s in the ED.” Bile rose and for a horrible moment she thought she was going to be sick. “I have to get down there.”

Patrick stood. “Let me cancel your appointment and we’ll go.”

 

****

 

The ED was heaving when they arrived. Niamh made her way to the desk. “I’m looking for my husband—Jared Harkin. He’s a firefighter. He was brought here from the fire.”

“Take a seat. I’ll get someone to come and see you.”

Niamh nodded and turned. There wasn’t an empty seat, as it was so busy, but that didn’t matter. A voice called her name and she looked around. The man standing there was in firefighter uniform, coat undone and covered in soot, his arm in a sling. He looked familiar but she couldn’t put a name to his face.

He held out his unbandaged hand. “Phil Rodgers. I’m Jared’s watch manager.”

“What happened? Is Jared all right?”

“I don’t know. He wasn’t conscious when they brought him in.”

“Was he burned?”

Phil didn’t answer.

“Please…no one is telling me anything. Did he get hurt in the fire?”

“Yeah, he was on fire when we pulled him out. That’s how I did this.” He moved his injured arm. “We got to the shout to find several houses as well as the petrol station on fire. Jared went up the ladder into one of the houses, searching for the children trapped inside. He found the little girl, passed her through the window and went back to look for the baby. The heat and ferocity of the flames were like nothing we’ve seen in a while. He handed the child out and then the floor collapsed.”

Flames shot out from every window in the burning house. Glass shattered, the fire roared and crackled, destroying everything in its path. A sickening crashing came from inside, then two screams—one high-pitched and childlike, the other the cry of a man she knew so well.

“Daddyyyy…Mummmyyy…”

“Dayna…Nooooooo…”

Terror and shock flooded her. The cry of mummy she heard in her dreams was the dying scream of her daughter. The last thing Dayna ever said was Mummy. Everything spun. Her stomach turned and plummeted. The blood rushed from her head and she closed her eyes.

Strong hands gripped her and guided her to a seat. Someone pushed her head between her knees. “Deep breaths, Niamh.” The voice belonged to Patrick. “Can we get a doctor over here?”

Niamh tried to take the deep breath, spots flickering in front of her eyes. Voices echoed around her. She opened her eyes to find a pair of black shiny shoes poking out from navy blue trousers.

Footsteps…footsteps, blue trouser legs, black shoes. Always the bringer of bad news.

 

****

 

The soil was soft under her fingers as she dug out spaces for the new flowers. Pansies and marigolds sat in trays next to her. A splash of color to chase away the late winter gloom. She’d already planted white alyssum and red tulip bulbs which would bloom with the daffodils a little later on.

A car drove slowly down the road and pulled up. Car doors closed far quieter than they normally did. Footsteps echoed up the path. Two pairs. She wasn’t expecting anyone. It's probably the sales people again. They never could take no for an answer.

She put down the trowel. Then she saw the two polished shoes and navy blue trouser legs standing next to her. Her stomach plummeted. An official visit by uniformed officers could mean only one thing. She looked up, time slowing. ‘Please, no,’ she whispered silently, recognizing them.

A fire engine carrying a coffin decked in a Union Flag. A hat rested on top of it, with several hundred men in dress uniform walking behind as the procession wound its way through the streets, pausing outside the warehouse where the six men had lost their lives.

Six coffins.

Six funerals.

Six men dead in the line of duty. Giving their lives selflessly to save those of others.

 

****

 

“Niamh?”

“Mrs. Harkin?”

Niamh opened her eyes. “Why am I lying down?” She struggled to sit.

“Lie still for me.” A man in a white coat took gentle hold of her wrist. “You passed out in the waiting area. I’m Dr. Price.”

“I’m fine. I came here to see my husband.” She pushed up, taking a deep breath. “How is he? Can I see him?”

“He’s in Resus being treated right now. He has a couple of burns, lots of scrapes and bruises. He’s also got smoke inhalation.”

“They said he was unconscious.”

“He came around briefly, but we want to keep an eye on him for a while.”

“I have to see him.”

“In a few. Have you ever fainted before?”

“Not that I can remember. I lost my memory in a car crash a few weeks back.”

He smiled. “I remember you from when you came in. How are you doing?”

She sat up slowly. “Remember bits and pieces. Like just now when I heard Jared was hurt. It just took me by surprise. Really, doctor, I’m fine.”

“Well your pulse is normal, and your color is a lot better. You can wait here or in the relative’s room.”

“I don’t want to take up one of your beds when someone else needs it.”

Patrick helped her to the relative’s room, where Liam was already waiting. She fell into her twin’s arms, barely keeping the tears in. “Been here before,” she sobbed. “I remember black shoes, navy trousers. I was gardening and they came for me. There were a lot of coffins, several funerals.”

Liam rubbed her back. “The warehouse fire. They came to tell you that Jared had been seriously injured before you heard about it on the radio or the television.”

“And I remember the fire that killed Dayna. But I didn’t come here then.” She looked up. “I really hated Jarrie, didn’t I?”

Her brothers nodded and she cast her gaze downwards.

“I was a fool to ever let him go. I love him.”

Liam looked at her. “So tell him that. I know you are dating as friends, but if you want more then go for it.”

“What about the divorce? I know he didn’t want it, but I found papers saying I’d filed regardless.”

“Stop it,” Patrick said firmly. “Before it goes any further.”

“It’s too late.”

“It’s never too late. Not as long as there is breath in the both of you.” He pulled out his phone and pressed it into her hand. “Ring your lawyer and stop it.”

Niamh took the phone. “OK.”

 

****

 

Jared opened his eyes, pushed up on the bed and pulled off the mask with a bandaged hand. He didn’t need to be here. The slight movement set off a coughing fit, wracking his body with one paroxysm after another. The taste of smoke, ash and fuel made him retch and cough again.

A nurse appeared at his side. “Why do all firefighters think they are superheroes? Lie down and put that mask back on.”

“Because we are superheroes,” Jared protested, grateful to be pushed back down on the bed. “I just prefer to wear my pants inside my trousers.”

“And you need to recharge your batteries before you take your next flight. Your cape needs washing.”

“I need to go home.”

“You need to wait for the doctor to come and see you. OK? You also need to wait until the IV has finished. We have to replace all those fluids you lost.”

“OK.” Jared leaned against the pillows. It hurt rather more than he was going to admit but the pain meds would take care of that. As soon as they gave him some. He’d already had both hands examined and x-rayed and wrapped. Now he just wanted to go home so as not to worry Niamh by not being there when she got back from the clinic.

Had she heard the explosion and seen the smoke? It was certainly the biggest shout he’d attended in a long time. Since the warehouse fire earlier in the year which had claimed the lives of several of his friends. Had this one done the same? He closed his eyes and prayed that everyone was safe and accounted for.

“Just going to give you the pain meds into the IV. They’ll kick in pretty quickly.”

He coughed as he tried to remember actually rescuing the kids, but he couldn’t. He just remembered climbing into the building, and then waking on the grass with two paramedics and his fire crew standing around him.

He coughed harder, tasting the foul residue of the fire in his mouth. He waved off the nurse, insisting he was fine and just wanted to go home. But the coughing got worse and finally unable to catch his breath, he didn’t argue when he was pushed back onto the bed and the oxygen mask slipped back over his face. He closed his eyes feeling the pain meds start to kick in.

 

****

 

Niamh slowly swung herself across the room. Her eyes were fixed on the figure lying on the bed. His hands were bandaged and he wore an oxygen mask. She moved over to him, barely hearing the nurse next to her. “Jared?”

He opened his eyes and pulled off the mask. He pushed himself off the bed and into her arms, wrapping himself tightly around her.

She didn’t say anymore, there was no need. He was here and safe. That was all that mattered. She held him tightly, tears in her eyes. She’d almost lost him. She knew without a doubt that she was in love with this man. She had no idea what she had felt for him in her past life, but here and now, she loved him. She held him as another coughing fit wracked his body.

“I hear you’re quite the hero.” She knew they’d just sedated him, and he wouldn’t be awake for long.

He coughed. “No, just did my job.” He slowly let go of her, struggling to keep his eyes open.

She laid him down and kissed his cheek. “Sleep, Jarrie. Let us protect you for a little while, huh?”

He nodded, his eyes closing as the meds took effect and knocked him out.

Niamh looked up at the doctor as he came over. “Is he going to be all right?”

Doctor Price nodded. “He’ll be fine. I want him to stay in for observation for a couple of days as he inhaled a lot of smoke and fumes out there. The burns are first degree and should heal, with little or no scarring within a few days. It won’t affect his career or his ability to work in any way.”

Niamh nodded then turned her attention back to Jared. She’d sit here until he woke and stay with him as long as she could. How would she cope if she lost him? Not now she finally realized and admitted to herself how she felt.

She loved him. But he loved her too. It didn’t matter to him that she was scarred. He loved her and she loved him. Her heart, which had gone through the wringer of so many emotions was now singing and dancing within her. She’d wait until she had written confirmation from the lawyer before saying anything to him about the divorce. Or rather, the lack thereof.

 

****

 

During the two days Jared was in the hospital, Niamh had spent most of her time at his bedside. They talked non-stop. The more time she spent with him, the more she loved him. She just wished she could remember more about him. But, she decided, stuff the old. Time to make new memories.

She walked with him to the car, Patrick having driven her in to collect him. She needed to talk to him and Patrick had promised to put the radio on to give them some privacy.

As Patrick drove them home, she glanced at Jared. She was ridiculously giddy in his presence, just like she’d been as a teenager every time Simon Jansen had looked her way in math class. “Jared,” she began.

He smiled at her. “Out with it,” he said lightly.

“Huh?” she asked.

“That’s your ‘I have something to tell you and you’re not going to like it voice’.” He paused. “So just out with it and get it over with.”

Niamh took a deep breath. “This is weird,” she said. “You know me better than I know myself.”

He shot her a quick grin. “It’s called an unfair advantage.”

“Very unfair, I’d say.”

Patrick shot her a wicked grin and wink via the driving mirror.

She scrunched up her nose at him. “You all have—you, Li and Pi.”

“But just think of the ammo you have on your brothers. Stuff that they’ve forgotten about, you remember as if it were yesterday.”

“Very true. Hadn’t thought of it like that.”

Jared grinned. “See, every cloud has its silver lining. But what did you want to say?”

Patrick put the radio on and turned it up loud.

Niamh leant close to Jared. “I rang my lawyer when you were admitted to hospital.” She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart.

Jared’s eyes clouded over. “Oh.”

“No, no, nothing bad. I stopped the divorce.”

There was an audible sharp intake of breath. His eyes widened and he blinked several times. “You…you did?”

Niamh nodded. “Yeah. I kind of like having you around.”

“I see.”

“That’s not a very good way of putting it. I suddenly realized that I, whoever I was before the car crash, was a fool to let you go. I like having you around the house, talking with you, being with you. When I heard you were hurt, something…” She pushed a hand through her hair. “I remembered a fire before and lots of firefighters in uniform and coffins draped in flags. I don’t want that to be you.”

“What are you saying?” He frowned. “You want me back but under certain conditions? Do you want me to quit my job?”

“No, I don’t want you to quit your job. I’m making a mess of this. I don’t want you to move out. I want to date you properly. Have you live in the house, after all it’s your house too, and it’s big enough for the both of us.”

Jared put a bandaged hand onto hers. “I’d like that.”

She looked down at their hands for a moment and then raised her gaze to hold his. “I know things are different now, but,” she paused. Color rushed to her cheeks.

“Hon, I’m not asking you to sleep with me until you’re ready. If that means waiting years or never, that’s fine.” He looked at her. “I can wait, I promise.”

“Thank you,” she whispered, a huge burden falling from her mind. It wasn’t just that she didn’t remember the wedding, it was more she didn’t feel married. She was dating this guy nothing more. At least not yet. They’d just have to wait and see what happened, if anything did come of it at all.

“I put dinner in the oven before we left to get you. It should be done when we get back. It’s nothing special, just shepherd’s pie, but…”

“It sounds wonderful.” His eyes creased for a moment, then cleared. “No crutches or splint?”

She shook her head. “Got rid of them yesterday. You mean you only just noticed?”

“Well, you kind of side-winded me with the ‘I’ve cancelled the divorce’ thing.”

“That was afterwards…”

“And I had this really gorgeous woman come and pick me up.”

She smiled. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

Jared leaned forward and kissed her gently. “Made you smile though. And I happen to like your smile.”

“Like yours too.”

She left her hand in his and rested her head on his shoulder for the rest of the drive home.

 

****

 

By the time they got home, dinner was ready. Jared somehow managed to balance the fork and eat despite his bandaged hands. He was grateful Niamh had made something easy to eat. Had she done it on purpose? Either way, shepherd’s pie was one of his favorites. “This is amazing. Even better than mum’s.”

“Seriously? The amount of time you spend raving about your mum’s cooking, I didn’t think anyone could hold a candle to it.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Do your hands hurt very much?”

“A little, but I’ve been here before. It’s just minor burns. Keep them wrapped for a week, keep them moving to keep the skin supple and back at work in no time. We’re off the next four days anyway, so don’t need any more time off sick.”

Her smile lit her eyes. “Just glad you’re home and OK. Well, relatively OK.” She hesitated for a moment. “Jarrie, I…”

He set his plate down and took her hands in his. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s right. At least I hope it is. I love you.” Her eyes glistened with hope and the fear of rejection.

His heart filled and exploded within him. Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her tightly. “I love you, too.”

Jared smiled. He could hardly believe he was blessed enough to have her fall in love with him twice. Now he just had to romance her before proposing again. Because he would. Then he would remarry her and they could start over. Just the two of them, the way it should be.