“I was stuck,” Theo continued. “I wasn’t telling myself the truth about what was going on, and my view of others had become distorted. I was self-deceived.”
Tom made a skeptical noise and leaned back into his chair, remembering how Theo had claimed they all had the same problem.
Theo either didn’t notice or didn’t mind. “Even though the term sounds theoretical or philosophical, self-deception isn’t an academic issue. It’s at the heart of the people problems we grapple with every single day. It helps explain how and why we sometimes cause or amplify our own challenges but seem to be completely unaware that we are doing so.
“But before I get ahead of myself, what do you think? How could I be utterly convinced I was dedicated and self-sacrificing in San Francisco when everyone else on the project could see that I was distracted and disengaged?”
Ana spoke up. “Well, it’s not like you didn’t have any valid reasons to be distracted or even resentful, right?”
“I certainly felt justified.”
Ana’s brow furrowed. “It sounds like you’re saying that the circumstances didn’t matter, like you should’ve been able to perform at your best despite the conditions or how you were treated. But people aren’t robots, right? Isn’t it illogical to expect your work to be unaffected by your situation?”
“It’s a fair point, Ana. Employee well-being and productivity are impacted by many different factors, some of which are simply outside of an individual’s control. I didn’t choose that project deadline, and it wasn’t my fault that everyone couldn’t fit comfortably on the same floor.”
Ana nodded.
“But there were things I could have done differently,” Theo continued. “Instead of isolating myself and indulging in my self-pity, I could have reached out to the people it was my job to coordinate and collaborate with. I can’t have been the only one having a challenging time, and I certainly wasn’t the only one who was working hard. And just think of how much sooner I could have learned about the catering if I had gone upstairs where the teamwork was happening!
“I wasn’t seeing things clearly. I was focused on myself and making excuses. Those are all symptoms of what we’re talking about—self-deception. And there’s no way to begin to change if you can’t see the problem.
“Here’s what I’d like you to do,” Theo said, looking from Ana to Tom. “It’s been about a month since we hired you, Tom, and about a month since the merger brought you to us, Ana. I think that’s been enough for you to see this issue at play here at Zagrum. Take a minute to think about where you’re seeing this happen. Are you running into people who are self-focused, disengaged, or causing issues that they seem to be unaware of? Have you experienced any of this on your teams? Write down what you’ve noticed.”
Ana uncapped her pen and pulled out a notebook. In the center of the table was a small stack of company-branded notepads and Theo slid one over to Tom.
Both Tom and Ana wrote slowly at first and then picked up steam.
“Okay,” Theo said after a few minutes had passed. “Let’s hear what you’ve got. Why don’t we start with you, Tom?”
“Oh, I didn’t realize we’d be asked to share,” Tom said, then cleared his throat. “I’ve been impressed with everyone here, for the most part. It’s a great company.”
“But that’s not what you wrote down,” Theo said, smiling.
“Right. Well, to be honest, I’ve been hearing about problems being caused by the sales team.”
Ana’s posture stiffened. Tom didn’t seem to notice. “I know this isn’t the first time you’ve heard this, Ana. My team says there’s more than one sales rep who keeps promising a deliverable or pricing that’s out of touch with reality. And I hear they get pretty wound up when we try to set them straight.”
Ana glanced at Theo, torn between the need to defend her team and the awkwardness of arguing in front of a senior executive.
“Don’t you think that’s an oversimplification, Tom?” Her voice was strained.
Tom waved a dismissive hand. “We’ve already talked about this. Your people are so eager to close a deal that they don’t consider realistic timelines or restraints, and then they expect us to somehow make it all happen.”
“I know your product team doesn’t like feeling rushed,” Ana said, “but if we don’t capitalize on the momentum of this new product line, our sales will tank.”
“Everything is going to tank anyway if we keep offering people custom features that we can’t support.”
“That was one single deal for a special client that I personally—”
“Okay!” Theo’s booming laughter filled the room. “Things are getting interesting!”
Tom’s face closed, and Ana looked down at the table as they both realized they were arguing in front of Theodore Jefferson.
“Sounds like you two have had this conversation before,” Theo said with an unfazed grin. “How’s it been working out?”
Tom grunted.
“This might surprise you,” Theo continued, “but I’ve been in a fair share of conflicts over the years. And you know what? Blame and defensiveness never seem to get me where I’d like to go.”
“I’m sorry,” Ana murmured.
“Oh, I’m not looking for an apology!” Theo responded. “This is exactly what we’re here for.”
To verbally duke it out? Tom thought.
“It’s my job to help you become the kind of leaders who invite collaboration and unlock the potential of others,” Theo continued. “And, if there are problems, to help you work through them and get unstuck. But, unfortunately, there’s no leadership tactic, communication technique, or secret formula that will make any real difference in solving this issue between your teams, or in your ultimate success for that matter.”
“Come again?” Tom asked.
Theo grinned. “What I mean is that there’s no behavior you can engage in as a leader that will make any lasting difference unless you see yourself and the people you impact clearly. If you’re going to be successful leaders, the first and most important step is learning how to see.”