“So,” Theo said, “let’s review our premise thus far. One of the most pressing problems that a leader, organization, or individual faces is self-deception. It is a condition where your perception is systematically distorted in your favor. We also call it having an inward mindset. Most of us won’t even see that we have this problem because we need the twisted perception to feel justified when we fail to see and respond to the humanity of others. To find justification, we tend to view ourselves as either better than or worse than the people around us. All clear on that?”
Ana nodded, and Tom reached for a snack.
“To prop up our distorted view,” Theo continued, “we use logic to accuse others and make excuses. The more plausible our blame and excuses are, the better they fuel self-deception. ‘I shouldn’t be expected to reach out and introduce myself. I’m the new hire around here!’ or ‘I can see that there’s an issue here, but addressing it isn’t in my job description.’ Or even ‘I’m not going to intervene; they need to learn the consequences of their actions.’
“We blame others by focusing on their faults or exaggerating our own virtues. But it’s all fodder for justification, a means to excuse our own self-betrayals.
“Now, our excuses can be pretty sophisticated. We’ll claim that certain values like efficiency, or fairness, or common sense constrained our choice. We try to make our self-betrayal look rational, understandable, or even virtuous, as though placating a jury of our peers.”
“So how do you tell whether you’re justifying a self-betrayal or just considering extenuating circumstances?” Tom asked.
“Great question. In fact, Ana and I talked about that this morning. I think one indicator is how willing I am to take responsibility for my own contributions and choices. When we’re pursuing justification, we tend to either deny all responsibility or make a strategic, partial concession with a large caveat attached. ‘I may have messed up, but…justify, justify, justify.’
“Another difference between justification and context is what we pay attention to: Are we trying to deepen our understanding of where others might be coming from? Or are we grasping for anything to prove they deserve to be blamed?
“But mostly, Tom, it just feels different. I know what it feels like to be defensive, and I know what it’s like to simply explain what happened. I know the difference between acknowledging what led to a mistake and dodging responsibility.”
Tom nodded. “Yeah, those do feel like different things for sure.”
“Some of the most common indicators of self-deception are blame and excuses,” Theo said. “They rapidly infect a culture, turning our focus away from results. All the time, energy, and creativity that could—and should—be going toward problem-solving, collaboration, and innovation gets funneled toward justification instead. It leads to the kind of downward spiral that crippled Zagrum in the company’s early days.
“The good news is that accountability can spread in a culture, too, especially when it’s modeled by a good leader. Can I tell you about one of my role models?”
“Of course!” Ana said.
“Her name is Gia Chen. She’s a federal judge now, but I met her when she was a fourth-year attorney and my project supervisor. One of our firm’s biggest clients was looking to acquire land for a high-density housing project. The location they wanted was occupied by trailer parks, so my job was to become an expert in California mobile home law to make sure we weren’t blindsided by anything. It seemed pretty straightforward: the project had local support, even among some tenants of the park, because the area wasn’t well managed at the time.
“It was an important and fraught time in Gia’s career. By your fourth year, you’re supposed to be seasoned, trustworthy, and competent. Any mistakes at that point could ruin your chances of making partner in the firm. So the pressure was on.
“I started researching, and it was all good news. I wrote a hefty memo about why it wouldn’t be an issue to acquire the land. Gia was happy. Our client was happy. I felt good.
“But two weeks later, Gia and I were going over some detail or another when she said, ‘Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask: Did you check all the pocket parts during your research?’ And my gut sank.”
“Pocket parts?” Tom questioned.
“Yes,” Theo said. “Legal books can be hefty and expensive to print, so back in the day, to reduce the costs of frequent updates, most books included a pocket in the back where relevant legal changes were stored.
“When Gia asked about it, I felt sick. I hadn’t checked the most up-to-date information.
“We ran to the firm’s library and, sure enough, the laws had changed in a major way. I had given our client a green light for a path leading right toward a legal, financial, and bureaucratic nightmare.
“We went back to Gia’s office, and she called the lead partner on the project. ‘Jerry, you remember that expansion analysis? Well, I made a mistake. It turns out that the law has recently changed, and I missed it. Our expansion strategy is wrong.’
“I was dumbfounded. It wasn’t Gia’s mistake. It was mine. But she—with a lot on the line—was taking responsibility for the error. Not once on that call did she blame me.
“After she hung up, I said, ‘Gia, I was the one who didn’t check the pocket parts.’
“She smiled at me. ‘That’s true. You should’ve checked them. But I’m your supervisor. Several times during the process, I had thought to remind you but didn’t get around to it. If I had done that, we wouldn’t be here. You made a mistake, but so did I.’”
“Wow.” Tom whistled. “That’s impressive.”
“Right?” Theo said. “She had obvious reasons to blame me, and she would’ve been totally justified.
“But what’s truly remarkable is the fact that she didn’t need to be justified. She wasn’t afraid of being defined by a mistake or fixated on protecting her own image.
“She kept sight of the fact that she and I both were fallible humans. She focused all her energy on correcting course and minimizing damage. And, by acknowledging her own minor contribution, I felt about a thousand times more willing to take responsibility for my much larger mistake.” Theo shook his head. “I would’ve walked through a brick wall for Gia.
“Later that afternoon, I wrote Jerry a long email about how the whole thing had been my mistake and how incredible Gia was as a supervisor.” Theo smiled. “Jerry read some of that email to the firm a few years later at the party we threw when Gia made partner. She had earned the firm’s unanimous support.”
“She sounds like a great boss,” Ana said.
“She was,” Theo said. “And that’s the kind of leader we need you to be too. We want to be a blame-free organization, but that requires a remarkable level of accountability. And it starts with leaders.”
“No pressure, right?” Tom said to Ana.
“Nothing you can’t handle,” Theo said. “Let’s break for an early lunch today. When you come back, we’ll dive into how self-deception spreads and what to do about it.”
“Sorry again for delaying things this morning,” Tom said.
“Believe me,” Theo said. “What you are doing to try to put all this into practice outside of this room will be far more important than anything that happens in this room.”