Ana was thinking about all that had happened over the last two days as she hurried back to her office. As she walked, she checked Cheryl’s calendar—the employee whom Lou had invited her to talk to. Cheryl’s schedule was open, and Ana knew that she had to act fast; otherwise, she would talk herself out of it.
“Cheryl, do you have a minute?” Ana asked, noticing the five or six people who were working nearby in the open office space.
“Of course, Ana. How can I help?”
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something. Let’s just duck into the conference room.”
“Am I in trouble?” Cheryl asked with a half-nervous laugh.
“No, no. But you’ve been on my mind. Have a seat.” The door of the glass conference room closed behind them as they sat down, the corner of the table between them.
“First off, I wanted to talk to you about your presentation last week. I just want you to know that it was excellent. Really excellent. Thank you for your preparation and effort. It was the highlight of the meeting and incredibly helpful to the team.”
“Wow. Thank you,” Cheryl said, clearly relieved. “I’m glad you thought it went well.”
“It did. And I have to tell you, Cheryl,” Ana continued, “I was a little surprised that the presentation went so well because I haven’t been very helpful to you since I arrived.”
Cheryl’s eyes widened, but she didn’t respond.
“I didn’t invite you to meetings that you should have been a part of, and I haven’t done a good job generally keeping you in the loop. I’m sure that’s had a negative impact on you. I’m really sorry.”
“Thanks, Ana. I appreciate that. I’ve just assumed that you were busy and learning the ropes about who is doing what, but I did start to worry that maybe I had upset you or that you weren’t happy with my work.”
Ana’s gut clenched. I should say something about her performance, she thought. But she found herself saying, “Not at all. I’m sorry I gave you that impression. Anyway, I’ll let you get back to it. Thanks, Cheryl.”
As Ana walked back to her office, the relief she wanted to feel was clouded.
She sat down to answer some emails, but she couldn’t process anything she was reading.
Lou’s words from earlier that day sat heavy in her mind:
“Not wanting to be mean or confrontational seems like a positive motivation. But leaders have an obligation to help others improve. Shirking it is neither helpful nor kind.”
The conversation we just had wasn’t about Cheryl, Ana thought, finally surrendering to the truth. That was about me wanting to feel better about having misjudged her. But I didn’t tell her the truth about my earlier concerns. I stopped short.
Just then the sound of the desk clock seemed louder than Ana remembered. Tick. Tick. Tick.
But I didn’t really stop short, right? Ana thought. I took responsibility. And taking responsibility is the main thing. The justifications were coming fast now. Cheryl pulled it together with that presentation, and bringing up anything before that would just be deflating. I need to keep her motivated, and I did apologize, and—
The pattern was so predictable that Ana almost didn’t see it.
But her exchange with Theo kept running in the back of her mind:
“I don’t think they’re getting the real me,” she had said.
“And consequently, you might not be getting the real them,” Theo had answered.
She thought about what Tom had said about the conversation he had with Kate and what Theo had shared about Lou:
“Having an outward mindset doesn’t mean overlooking others’ shortcomings. Lou didn’t let me off the hook for dropping my assignment, but he also didn’t reduce me to being my mistake. I was inspired to be better because Lou and I both knew I could be.”
Tick. Tick.
It’s all justification! Ana thought, shocked by her own honesty. I have to be real. I have to tell Cheryl the truth. She matters like I matter. If I were her, I’d want to know.
As Ana almost ran back to the other end of the third floor, she noticed the clock on the wall. It was now past five o’clock, and Cheryl’s desk was empty.
Running past the elevator, Ana took the stairs two at a time.
“Cheryl, wait!”
Cheryl’s hands were on the door.
“Oh! Hi, Ana.”
“I’m so glad you’re still here. Do you have a few minutes? There’s something else.”
“Okay, sure,” Cheryl said, sounding wary.
The lobby was empty, and Ana and Cheryl moved to a set of secluded chairs. “I want to talk to you about the conversation upstairs,” Ana began as they sat down across from each other. “You mentioned worrying that I hadn’t been happy with your work, and I wasn’t fully transparent. I don’t have the easiest time offering feedback, but I’m working on being more straightforward.
“The truth is, I had been worried and even frustrated about some aspects of your performance. You seemed disengaged to me or maybe not giving all that you could. But I didn’t talk to you about it, even though I should have. Then your presentation really showed your strengths, and I could see you are incredibly talented. And I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t seen that before. What’s it felt like for you, Cheryl? Do you feel like you were giving 100 percent before the presentation?”
Cheryl inhaled deeply.
“Look,” Ana said, “this is weird, I know. This is not how I normally talk to people. And I know that answering honestly might even feel dangerous because you don’t really know me. I haven’t let you get to know me. But I want you to succeed, and I think I can help, but only if it feels like it’s safe to be honest with each other.”
“You’re right,” Cheryl said, finally relaxing. “This is weird!”
Their shared laugh was a first between them.
“And,” Cheryl continued, “it’s hard not to feel defensive. But I’m actually grateful you’re asking. I don’t think I’ve had a manager talk to me like this before. Actually, I was feeling worried after the merger. Things felt uncertain, and I was feeling burned out and then nervous when you joined. I think I just wanted to fly under the radar for a while, but then, ironically, I felt bothered that no one seemed to care if I was here or not. But I thought I would throw myself into that presentation just to see if anyone noticed.”
“Well, we noticed!” Ana said, smiling. “Thank you for telling me.”
“So now what?” Cheryl asked.
“We can’t afford to have that less engaged, less committed version of you on the team. But we need that other version of you, Cheryl. We need you to bring whatever version of Cheryl showed up to deliver that presentation. She’s the person we need on our team. And I’m ready to help her. Can you do that?”
“Yes, I can do that. I’m actually really excited to do that,” Cheryl said.
“Well, let’s find time next week to sit down and get really clear on what the team needs from you moving forward and how I can help.”
“Perfect. Thanks for this, Ana.”
At that moment the elevator opened, and Tom walked out into the lobby.
“Tom!” Ana said, standing. “Cheryl, do you know Tom Callum?”
“Great to meet you,” Tom said, shaking Cheryl’s hand.
“You’re new, right? In Product?” Cheryl said, slinging her bag over her shoulder.
“That’s right,” Tom said.
“Well, welcome to Zagrum! See you next week, Ana.”