“What an interesting couple of days!” Ana said as she and Tom walked out into the parking lot.
“Really different than what I was expecting,” Tom said. “How are you feeling about it all?”
“It’s going to take some time to process,” Ana said. “But I think it feels like a better way to try and show up. I’ve been caring too much about being liked and then avoiding some uncomfortable but important conversations. What about you?”
“It seems so obvious, but I didn’t realize how often I’m oblivious to the way I’m impacting other people.” Tom shook his head, then paused. “Actually, I’ve been feeling like I should ask you what it’s been like to work with me and how I could have a better impact.”
Ana took a breath and hesitated. She had expected talking to Cheryl to be the hard part of her day.
“But we can talk another time too,” Tom said, second-guessing his timing.
“No time like the present, right?” she replied, and Tom mirrored her smile. “It hasn’t been a walk in the park, but some of that is because of my own self-doubt and wanting to be seen in certain ways. I had heard about how well you know the industry, and I was worried I’d look inexperienced or ignorant, especially when I learned it would just be you and me in this training with Theo.”
Tom nodded and kept listening.
“I’ve noticed you can be quick to dismiss ideas sometimes,” Ana said, “maybe especially when they’re coming from me or my sales team, and that can shut down people’s willingness to collaborate. I don’t think you should stop seeing potential concerns or weaknesses, but sometimes your certainty and delivery send the message that you’re the only one with the right answer, and everyone else is slow. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, I can see that,” Tom admitted. “I can definitely do better at listening longer and focusing on the positive aspects of people’s ideas. Though, I guess that won’t be enough unless I’ve got the right mindset too.”
After a moment, he added, “I’ve spent a long time being the kind of leader who tries to have all the answers and tells people what to do. That’s even been my approach to parenting. But I don’t think it’s been working so well.”
“Seems like it might be hardest to apply all this outside of work,” Ana said, thinking about the recent tensions with her husband. “Which is probably where it matters most.”
“Well, we definitely get a lot of opportunities to practice,” Tom said. “My weekend homework is having an outward mindset toward a moody teenager.”
“Good luck with that.” Ana smiled.
“I’ll take it,” Tom replied. “And maybe you and I can meet on Monday to keep brainstorming ways our teams can work better together. I think they need opportunities to meet and see each other differently and also to understand how our goals are interconnected.”
“Good ideas,” Ana said. “There’s no way our teams will start collaborating if we don’t lead this way. You and I could organize a call with everyone and present the collusion diagram to show how we’ve all been contributing to the challenges.”
“That’s sounds like a good plan. I’m sure it would help a lot.”
“Great. Well, see you on Monday, Tom.”
As Tom got into his car, his phone buzzed with a text from his daughter, Becca: “Can we still go to a movie tonight?”
He smiled and responded, “Definitely. You choose! I’ll be home soon.”
Ana called her husband, Jaime, and heard laughter in the background when he picked up. “Another water fight?” she asked with a smile.
“Guilty,” he replied. “We got hot jumping on the trampoline, and one thing led to another. Summer flies by so fast, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt. The kids and I made some pizza too. They’re excited for you to try it. Should be ready to eat right when you get home.”
“Sounds perfect. Tell them I’m on my way, and I’m picking up ice cream.”