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August 1973—Astral Plane Commune, Farnum, Massachusetts
It was twilight. Vincent Held had given his sermon, which had sounded more like a corporate presentation about growth and profits than spirituality and supporting each other. The commune band, Starshine, was charging through its playlist for the night, with the vocalists singing masterful harmonies in their version of “Carry On.” Pam was their shining star in a blue tie-dyed T-shirt, white overalls, and no shoes. Now tall for thirteen years old, she was starting to look like a young lady.
The field was full. The commune had more than doubled its size, and so had the number of amps. Everyone could hear them, and they even had a sound engineer set up in the back of the audience to make sure the sounds were properly balanced. At the end of the song there was a lot of hooting and whistling and enthusiastic applause. Then the band played “In the Year 2525” for the first time, which unfortunately had more of a tone of despair than hope.
Mark was two and a half and was finally toddling around the blanket. Susan was sandwiched between two guys vying for her attention, but who were apparently willing to share. The smell of sandalwood incense filled the air, which was good because the two guys didn’t smell very good. The band transitioned to “Ain’t No Sunshine,” and Susan grabbed up Mark and started to dance to the slow, deep rhythm. The two friendly guys popped up to dance, then the people adjacent to them. Within a minute, the whole crowd was up swaying and spinning. The crowd joined in to sing the chorus, which the band extended for everyone’s enjoyment. It was one of those magical moments that kept the commune going and growing.
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The next day, Susan left Mark with one of the other girls so she could take the ever-taller Pam to get clothes at Rockdale’s in Turner’s Falls. Susan found Pam outside the dormitory building squaring off against an older teenage boy who was trying to calm her down. “Hey, I was just trying to be friendly!” said the boy. “You don’t have to freak out!”
Susan got between them. “I don’t think she wants to be friends, so you should go.” The boy dropped his head in disappointment and quickly walked away. Susan gathered Pam in her arms. “It’s okay, it’s okay. He just likes you.”
Pam was sobbing. “I can’t, I can’t! Maybe never.”
“Maybe someday you will want a boyfriend, but it’s also okay if you don’t. But whatever happens, you’re going to need to steer boys away calmly instead of confronting them. Someday you’ll need to find a way to make some friends your age. We’ll get some help with this. Let’s start by getting you some new clothes, okay?”