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Work was more tedious than usual, but it had been a long time since Jeremy had something to look forward to after work. Sure, once or twice he’d gone out with co-workers to grab a drink at a sports bar. But since he didn’t drink alcohol, it got old fast, and he could only watch the guys hit on the uninterested waitresses so many times. Thankfully, he didn’t drive, or they’d probably ask him to go more often and expect him to be the designated driver.
“Are we good to go, boss?”
Jeremy looked up in surprise. He’d been so lost in thought, he hadn’t noticed the staff waiting in the doorway or Mia—who he’d promoted to shoe department manager recently—in front of his desk. “Sorry.” He saved the work he’d been in the midst of and logged out of the system. “I was wrapped up in work,” he lied.
Mia smiled at him. “It’s cool. So, are we set for the night?”
“Uhh, tell me what’s done.”
She quickly ran through a checklist of closing duties, and he forced himself to focus. Normally, he was out on the floor during closing, but tonight, he’d been so distracted he’d missed most of it. “Looks like we’re all set,” he said when she finished, impressed with the way she’d picked up the slack. “Night, Mia. Great job tonight.”
“Night. Thanks, Jeremy.” She gave him a fleeting smile and disappeared out the door.
Jeremy waved at the other employees as they left through the back door, which he locked behind him before slowly walking to the nearest bus stop five minutes away. He preferred to use Atlanta’s public transit since his apartment and the sporting goods store were a convenient bus ride apart.
He’d been too messed up to drive for years, and by the time he was physically capable, he was too terrified to get behind the wheel again. It had taken years to be willing to sit in a small car again, even with someone else driving. He took a cab if need be, but somehow, a city bus felt safer, despite the lack of seatbelts.
Jeremy leaned against the bus shelter as he waited for the 110, nodding to a few other regular passengers he recognized. They nodded back, but at this time of night, everyone was exhausted and ready to head home. Jeremy should have been, but the thought of seeing Evan again sent an uncomfortable surge of adrenaline through him. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to it.
The bus slid to a stop in front of him, and the doors opened with the familiar hiss. Jeremy straightened, sliding the messenger bag he had slung over his chest out of the way as he dug in his pocket for his Breeze card so he could pay for his fare. As he dropped into the molded plastic seats on the bus, he pulled out his phone, bringing up Evan’s name. He was conflicted about spending time with Evan. He liked the kid, but that was the problem. Maybe he liked Evan a little too much. Could he pretend he hadn’t jerked off thinking about the guy when they hung out?
On the twenty-minute ride home, he debated if he should cancel their plans, but by the time the bus pulled up at the stop nearest his apartment, he hadn’t done it. With a sigh, he stood and shoved the phone back in his pocket.
As Jeremy trudged from the bus stop to his apartment, he tried to convince himself he wasn’t going on a date with Evan tonight. But after he hopped in the shower, he took twice as long shaving as he normally did and changed his shirt three times. When he realized he was contemplating putting on cologne he hadn’t worn in years, he slammed the medicine cabinet shut and swore, staring at himself in the still-vibrating mirror. It showed a familiar, yet altogether wrong face. Every time he glanced in the mirror, he expected to see his twenty-one-year-old, unscarred face and was shocked at the sight of the man in his mid-thirties with a puckered scar near his temple and lines around his eyes.
Evan was waiting at the restaurant when Jeremy arrived. It was busy; at nearly midnight on a Friday that wasn’t such a surprise since it was pretty well known for its moonshine cocktails, but they served killer burgers all night too. Plus, it was easy for him to get to via the bus and wasn’t far from where Evan said he lived.
Evan was waiting inside the entrance, leaning against the wall with his hands behind his back, staring at the floor. Jeremy watched him for a second, took in the carefully pressed, blue button-down shirt and the neatly combed hair, and wondered if he’d made a huge mistake.
This wasn’t a date, damn it. So why did he think neither he nor Evan quite believed that?
Evan looked up, glancing at Jeremy through his lashes, and Jeremy felt a hot surge of desire go through him. He could picture Evan on his knees, staring up at Jeremy as he leaned forward to take Jeremy’s cock in his ...
Evan smiled, face lighting up, and the fantasy dissolved, replaced by a warm feeling that was far more dangerous.
“Hey there.” Jeremy’s voice came out huskier than he intended, and he cleared his throat. “Sorry I’m late.”
“Nah, I was early. I’m still getting used to Atlanta’s traffic, and I keep leaving earlier than I need to.” Evan straightened and closed the distance between them. “I thought you might have changed your mind, though.”
Jeremy nearly had, but Evan’s self-esteem seemed so fragile, and he didn’t want to hurt the kid. Maybe he’d let him down easy after tonight, tell him he didn’t think being friends was such a great idea. For now, he changed the subject. “Want to grab a table?”
“Sure. I’m starved.”
There was a packed bar area to the left but a slightly less crowded row of booths to the right, and they were able to snag an empty one. It was dark and kind of cozy, but not romantic, so Jeremy figured he’d made a good choice. The waitress was quick and efficient, and in no time, they had Cokes in front of them. He’d been there a few times before so he didn’t have to look at the menu to know he wanted the steak and egg burger. Evan hadn’t been there before so Jeremy pointed out his favorite, which Evan decided to try.
After they placed their order, Jeremy asked Evan more about his job. He was kind of fascinated by the idea of working in a funeral home.
Evan told him a few of the funnier stories from when he worked at the place in his hometown, like the time a family member had tried to steal the jewelry off the corpse during a viewing—and Jeremy chuckled. “You’re like a real life David Fisher.”
“Who?”
“You’ve never seen the show Six Feet Under?”
“Uhh, nope.”
“It’s about a family who owns a funeral home and one of the sons is gay.”
“Oh. I should watch it.” Evan looked up at Jeremy through his lashes again. “Or, we could watch it together.”
“Sure.” Jeremy agreed before he remembered he’d decided spending time with Evan wasn’t such a good idea. God, what a nice thought though. It wasn’t so lame to sit at home in front of the TV every night when there was someone on the couch next to you. He thought he’d grown used to the loneliness over the years, but Evan was a bright, shiny reminder of what he didn’t have in his life any more.
He was torn between knowing he needed to get out and be more social and worrying that he wanted Evan too much to actually be friends with him.
Jeremy was grateful when their food arrived, but he realized eating with Evan was nothing short of torturous. He tried not to stare as Evan devoured everything and licked his fingers clean, but it was difficult. Jeremy could feel Evan’s pink tongue licking his cock, picture Evan on his knees, doing everything Jeremy asked for and more.
Why? Why does this kid turn me inside out and make me want something I swore off years ago, he wondered.
Evan froze—fry halfway to his face—and blinked at him. “What's wrong? Why are you staring? Do I have ketchup on my face? I didn’t have lunch, and I’m absolutely starved. Didn’t mean to scarf my food.” His cheeks turned faintly pink as he wiped at his face.
“Nah, you’re fine,” Jeremy said, jabbing a fry into the puddle of ketchup on his plate. “I was lost in thought. So why didn’t you have lunch?”
Evan frowned. “Rough day at work. I didn’t feel much like eating.”
“What happened?”
Sighing, Evan sat back. “Today, there was a funeral for a sixteen-year-old kid. That’s hard enough, but his family was just ... destroyed. I felt awful for them and for all his friends. There were so many people who loved him. I felt terrible for them. Plus, it was hard knowing absolutely no one in my family would give a shit if I died. My parents wouldn’t give a flying fuck, and I ...” He shrugged, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I just hate being so utterly alone.”
“You’re not alone though, right?” Jeremy said, although his chest ached at the thought. He knew exactly how Evan felt. “I mean, your parents, yeah, they’re assholes. Huge fucking assholes who don’t deserve to have a guy like you for their son, but there’s a whole world out there just waiting for you, Evan. You have Russ and Stephen, and if you’d just put yourself out there, you’d meet new people.”
“I don’t know how,” Evan protested.
“You met me, didn’t you?”
Evan rolled his eyes. “Can I point out you’re the one who sat down next to me at the party? I never would have approached you. Shit, it took all my courage to leave you my number, and I never expected you to call me back.” He pushed away his nearly empty plate. “I keep telling you, I’m a fucking coward. I don’t know how to meet people.”
“Look, go to a gay bar in Midtown, buy yourself a drink, and guys will come to you. All you have to do is act interested when they approach, and you’ll be set.” He wasn’t thrilled about teaching Evan how to meet guys, but Evan didn’t seem to have anyone else to turn to. Jeremy had a hard time grasping why it was so difficult for Evan, though. He’d been outgoing his whole life, and he couldn’t imagine feeling intimidated by approaching someone, but he was trying to understand. “You don’t seem to have a problem talking to me,” he pointed out.
Shrugging, Evan gave him a small smile. “You’re ... different. Maybe it’s ’cause of everything you went through or because you said you feel lonely, too. I don’t know. I just know it seems easier with you than with most people.”
“Look, I’m really flattered you feel like you can talk to me, but I feel like you’re over-thinking the whole meeting guys thing, Evan.”
To his surprise, Evan snorted. “Over-thinking is what I do. Which is why I would be panicking if a guy did approach me. I’d be afraid I’d stumble over my words and sound like an awkward, inexperienced virgin. Which I am, by the way. So that sucks.”
Jeremy bit back a smile at the first bit of feistiness he’d seen from Evan. He liked it. “There are lots of guys who will find it a turn-on,” Jeremy pointed out, studiously ignoring the fact he was one of them. The thought of teaching Evan about sex was enough to make his dick sit up and beg.
“So you say,” Evan muttered.
“Come on,” Jeremy coaxed, changing the subject before he lost his damn mind. “Tell me another funny story about your work, kid. Anyone ever try to steal a corpse?”
Evan laughed, breaking the tension, and Jeremy finished his burger as he listened to Evan ramble on about all the reasons it was more or less impossible to steal a corpse. Jeremy didn’t actually care, but as he chewed the last bite of hamburger, he realized he wouldn’t have wanted to hear anyone else tell the story. He had limited patience for conversation most days, but Evan he could listen to for hours. And wasn’t that a kick in the nuts?
They lingered at the table long after Evan had polished off a massive amount of bread pudding and the remainder of the slice of coconut cream pie Jeremy had hardly touched.
“Is there anything else I can get either of you?” The waitress asked for the second time, and Jeremy glanced around. The restaurant was packed, and she was clearly hoping they’d leave so they could fit in more people who were buying drinks.
“The bill please.” He smiled at her, and she smiled back. Sometimes they smiled, sometimes they tried too hard not to stare at his scar. This waitress was getting a good tip for not making it awkward.
“One bill or two?” she asked.
“One,” Jeremy answered as Evan said, “Two.”
He held up a finger to stop Evan and gave the waitress another charming smile. “One, please.”
She glanced between them and nodded. “I’ll be right back, sir.”
“I can pay,” Evan protested when Jeremy turned back to face him.
“I know.” Jeremy leaned back in his seat. “But I owe you for helping me get home the other night. Besides, we’re friends, right? You can get it some other time.” And just like that, Jeremy had definitely committed to hanging out again. Damn it. His mouth seemed to be running on ahead of his brain. Not that it was exactly unusual for him.
Evan’s face lit up at the word friends, and it made Jeremy’s heart ache when he considered how starved for attention Evan was. So starved, he’d take whatever he could get, even from a man fifteen years older and a complete fucking mess. “Yeah, okay.” Evan leaned in and whispered. “Can I ask you a question though?”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow at him and nodded, wondering what on earth he was going to ask.
“I thought you were gay. Aren’t you?”
Jeremy blinked in confusion. “Yeah, I am. What made you say that?”
“You were ... flirting with the waitress. I wondered if maybe you were bi.”
Jeremy gave him a rueful smile. “Oh, kid, I flirt with everyone, whether I want in their pants or not. It’s pretty much second nature. And for the record, no, I’m not bi. Never been with a woman, never wanted to be.”
“Oh. I was just curious.”
“It’s fine.” Jeremy looked down at the table. “Honestly, I forget I’m not still your age and hot enough to get anyone I want.”
Evan blinked at him. “I bet you still could.”
Jeremy turned his head to the side so Evan could get a clear view of the twisted, pale skin that stood out against his tan. At first, the hospital had been more concerned about relieving the pressure in his skull and keeping him alive than making him pretty. Most of the scars were hidden under his hair, but the one on his temple was hard to miss. After he was out of the worst of it, a good plastic surgeon could have done wonders to fix the scar, but by the time Jeremy was capable of making the decision, it had been healed for years, and it was too late. Sure, if he had oodles of money, he could have it worked on, but it would never go away completely.
He pointed to his temple. “This is the least of it, Evan. My left leg is completely wrecked. I might still manage to charm someone into my bed but he wouldn’t last long once the pants came off.” His lips twisted in a sad smile, remembering his failed attempts.
“Not every guy would care.” Evan licked his lips, his pale blue eyes dark with intensity as he stared at Jeremy as if begging him to give him a chance to prove his words. It was easy to imagine Evan’s slight body on top of his, taking Jeremy’s dick inside him. Jeremy shook off the temptation thickening his cock, and he cleared his throat.
“I would.”