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After stewing in his misery while Evan was out dancing with guys, Jeremy caught the eye of a dark-haired man who’d been sitting at a table by himself all evening. The guy’s fleeting smile reminded him of Evan, and Jeremy motioned him over. Not because he was trying to pick him up for himself, but he seemed more like Evan’s type than most of the guys here. Turned out the guy—Scott— was supposed to meet someone on a date and had been stood up. He seemed nice, if not a little shy, and Jeremy decided if he had to pass Evan off to someone else, Scott wasn’t the worst choice ever.
Jeremy tried to get Evan’s attention when he was done dancing, but he disappeared downstairs. When Jeremy followed, he lost track of Evan. So he ordered another Coke for himself and returned to find Scott gone and the table he’d been sitting at occupied by a group of three guys he’d never seen before.
Annoyed, he managed to find an empty bar-height table, and he snagged it a few moments before Evan came up the stairs. Jeremy looked up from his Coke to see Evan arrive back at the table, cheeks visibly flushed with color even in the dim light and his hair sweaty and sticking up as if someone had been running their fingers through it. “Find someone to have fun with?” Jeremy asked dryly, pushing down the surge of jealousy. Maybe Evan didn’t need his help to find a guy.
Evan blinked at his comment and pushed closer to him, his thigh brushing Jeremy’s. “Pretend like you like me,” he pleaded, grabbing the back of Jeremy’s shirt.
“I do like you, kid,” Jeremy said, tossing back his Coke and wishing it had a shot of something harder in it as he tried to figure out why Evan was wrapped around him.
“No, pretend like you’re here with me,” Evan muttered. “There’s this guy and he ... I told him I was with you.”
Jeremy’s arm slid around Evan’s waist before he could process what he was doing. He glanced around and saw a massive bear of a man making a beeline for the table. Jesus, leave it to Evan to find the biggest dude in here to get interested in then change his mind. He let his lips brush Evan’s jaw as he stared past him at the guy. He could feel Evan’s heartbeat against his chest, too fast, like a scared little bird, and when he nestled closer, Jeremy gave in to the instinct to tighten his grip. The bear’s eyes narrowed for a moment, and Jeremy ran his fingers through Evan’s damp hair, feeling the clammy skin of his forehead against his fingertips.
“Mine,” he mouthed at the guy and saw him back down immediately, hands going up for a moment before he shrugged and turned away. Jeremy felt relief wash over him. He was in no shape to get in a physical altercation over Evan although he’d do it if that were what it took, fucked-up leg be damned. Still, he was grateful to skip the whole goddamn thing.
Jeremy’s attention returned to the guy in his arms. “What the hell happened?”
Evan blinked at him and shrugged. “I dunno, I left the bathroom and he grabbed me and ... and told me he wanted to take me in the bathroom and fuck me.”
“Isn’t that kind of why we’re here, kid?” Jeremy asked gently although a part of him was relieved Evan hadn’t done anything to attract the guy’s interest other than exist. He should let Evan know he was gone, but Jeremy couldn’t quite convince himself to let go yet.
“Not like that,” Evan said. “Oh, God, that is not the kind of guy I want. And I don’t want my first time to be in a bathroom.”
“Holding out for candlelight and rose petals?” Jeremy joked then cursed himself for imagining flickering light playing over the long lines of Evan’s body as Jeremy licked every perfect goddamn inch. Even Stephen hadn’t been so blatantly romantic and stupidly heteronormative.
Evan shook his head vehemently. “A guy I actually like and a bed would be good, though.”
The image Evan’s words conjured was every bit as bad because it was Jeremy and his bed—minus the rose petals and candlelight this time—he pictured. “Well, your bear is gone; you can let go of me.”
Evan’s fist—the one clenching his shirt tightly—loosened a little, and he let out a sigh of relief, but he didn’t leave the circle of Jeremy’s arms. “Maybe I could stay like this in case he comes back?” he offered.
Evan didn’t lie well, but Jeremy didn’t argue at the flimsy excuse. He’d be the one lying if he said he wanted Evan to go anywhere.
“Sure, kid. We can cuddle for a bit.” Jeremy pressed his lips to Evan’s sweaty hair, and a shudder ripped through his body at the clean, salty scent of him.
“What happened to the guy you were talking to earlier?” Evan asked after a few moments.
“Hmm?” Jeremy asked. He’d been so lost in the feel of Evan in his arms he’d zoned out. “Oh, well, when you ran off, he left. I’d told him I wanted to introduce him to you, but I guess he didn’t want to wait around.”
Evan pulled back to look at him. “Wait, you were talking to him for me?”
Jeremy shrugged. “Well, I didn’t pick him up for me. You seemed kind of overwhelmed, and I thought maybe it would be easier if I found someone who seemed like a nice guy. Besides, I don’t want you going home with some asshole. I”—he hesitated— “I want to look out for you, kid.”
“Oh.” Evan wet his lips. “Um, I kind of decided I’m not into this clubbing thing. I mean, dancing was okay, and I think I’d like doing it with you, but I ... I don’t know. I feel weird about it. I don’t like not knowing the guy rubbing up against me.”
Jeremy hated the surge of elation he felt. “Then I guess you figured out clubs aren’t your thing. That’s okay. Nothing wrong with that.”
Evan sighed. “I ... I wanted to meet someone but ...”
“Hey, you’re more of the dating type anyway, I think,” Jeremy said. “I’m sure you can find someone online.”
“Maybe.” Evan’s tone was doubtful, and when he muttered something else, it was swallowed up in the noise of the music, and Jeremy didn’t catch what he said. Jeremy didn’t push it.
Evan shifted, one arm dropping to Jeremy’s waist, the other snaking up over his shoulder so they embraced. For the longest time, they stood wrapped around each other. Jeremy held Evan close as he wondered what the hell he was doing. Why he wasn’t pulling away, why they weren’t leaving.
After a while, Evan sighed and nestled closer, nuzzling his forehead against Jeremy’s. He didn’t seem to do it consciously, but it still made Jeremy’s stomach flip uncomfortably, and he closed his eyes, trying to muster up the strength required to let Evan go. Any moment now, he was going to have to pull away and ask Evan if he wanted to go home. But for now, they simply stood there.
Propped against Evan, Jeremy was surprised to realize his hip and thigh weren’t hurting. The only part of him that hurt was his cock and balls, which had a low, dull ache. The rest of him felt good with Evan pressed against him, his breath whooshing past Jeremy’s ear and making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.
Evan shifted again, and Jeremy felt his warm, rum-scented breath against his lips, then Evan’s mouth was on his. It wasn’t frantic like the last time, but sweet and easy. Completely at odds with the atmosphere of the club around them and yet so good it stole Jeremy’s breath as he lifted a hand to cradle Evan’s cheek and deepen the kiss. They kissed until they ran out of air, then they stood with their foreheads pressed together. Evan’s warm cheek was nestled in Jeremy’s hand as if it belonged there.
“Jeremy?” Evan said on an exhale. “What ... what are we doing?”
There were a thousand replies on the tip of Jeremy’s tongue, but only one made it past his lips. “I don’t know, but do you want to go back to your place and figure it out?”
Evan lifted his head, gaze wide, but he nodded. Jeremy dragged a thumb over Evan’s lower lip and Evan kissed the tip.
Jeremy let out a shaky breath at the thought of what might happen in Evan’s studio apartment. He wished he could blame the decision on alcohol but he was sober as a judge, and all he could find to pin the blame on was his longstanding, self-imposed celibacy. And maybe the fact he’d never had great judgement to begin with and a head injury had scrambled his brains. Sure, he’d go with that. It was easier than admitting he was getting himself into something with the potential to end badly for both of them.
It took far too long to close out their tab, snag a taxi, and ride the short distance to Evan’s place. At least half a dozen times Jeremy thought about backing out, apologizing to Evan for leading him on and heading home, but he couldn’t make himself do it. Even as they climbed the stairs to Evan’s apartment and his thigh twinged with pain, Jeremy couldn’t convince himself what they were about to do was an incredibly bad idea. All he could think about was running his hands across Evan’s bare skin and kissing him again.
Inside the apartment, Evan flipped on the light switch, which lit a single lamp in the corner of the studio. Jeremy had a fleeting thought that the dim light wasn’t so far off from candlelight, then Evan clicked the lock shut, and the sound echoed in the stillness of the small room, making them both flinch. Evan’s bed was steps away, and Jeremy watched as Evan’s gaze darted toward it every so often.
“How drunk are you, Evan?” he asked quietly, taking one final stab at an excuse to back out.
Evan chewed at his lip for a moment as he seemed to thoroughly consider the question. “Buzzed but perfectly capable of knowing what I want,” he finally said. His gaze was steady, and his voice was clear as he spoke. The bartenders had probably gone light on the booze, either because it was clear Evan was a lightweight or because they were trying to rip him off, but either way, Evan appeared perfectly lucid. He didn’t wobble or sway, and Jeremy felt the knot of tension in him ease.
Huh, maybe he’d been afraid Evan would be too drunk to go forward. Shit, this was really happening, wasn’t it?
“I want you, Jeremy,” Evan continued softly but earnestly. “I’ve wanted you since I first saw you, and that hasn’t changed for me at all.”
Jeremy nodded and reached for his shirt buttons. “I want you too, Evan. Some part of me thinks we both might regret this in the morning, but I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything else so bad in my life.”
Evan stepped closer, stilling Jeremy’s lips with his fingertips. “I don’t want to think about tomorrow ... just—just give me tonight.”
Swallowing hard, Jeremy undid the buttons of his shirt one by one. “I’m going to keep my pants on for now, Evan, but I want to see you naked.” He pushed down the anxiety rising in him at the thought of stripping naked in front of Evan. Maybe he could keep his pants on while he fucked Evan. Maybe Evan wouldn’t notice, or wouldn’t mind. So many maybes.
Evan hesitated, but after a moment, he began to strip, discarding his shirt on the floor at their feet. Jeremy unbuttoned his own shirt the rest of the way, leaving on a tight black undershirt and jeans. He had to brace himself against the wall to kick out of his shoes, and he watched Evan get momentarily tangled up in his own shoes and jeans and hop to get free. Evan straightened, wearing nothing but a pair of pale blue boxers straining to contain his erection. Evan’s body was less finely boned than Jeremy had imagined. There was a hint of strength in his shoulders, the beginning definition of pecs and abs in a body that naturally had next to no body fat. Slender, yes, but not boyish at all, not with the faint dusting of light brown hair between his pecs and under his arms.
“Damn, Evan,” he managed, and he saw Evan’s tense shoulders loosen.
“Really?”
“Yeah, really.” Skirting the tangle of clothes on the floor below his bare feet, Jeremy closed the distance between them. “I like what I see.”
Evan flushed, the color rushing from his chest and climbing into his cheeks. “Yeah?” he croaked.
Jeremy hooked his thumbs in the top of Evan’s boxers and snapped the elastic against Evan’s skin as he grinned at him. “Yeah, and I want you to lose the boxers.”
Evan jerked and pushed them down, the color in his skin darkening with either embarrassment or arousal. Jeremy glanced down between their bodies, taking in the hardness of Evan’s cock and the wetness on the red, red tip. Christ, poor kid had been hard for a while from the looks of him. Jeremy reached for Evan’s hip and shuffled back, careful not to trip over their clothes as he guided them back toward the bed. He sat down, awkwardly shifting so he lay on his uninjured side, crosswise on the bed. He crooked a finger at Evan who stood beside the bed still, chest rising and falling too quickly as he stared at Jeremy’s upper body with the kind of hunger in his eyes that made Jeremy feel like the man he’d been before the accident.
“Come here,” he coaxed, and Evan scrambled to obey with an eager earnestness that made Jeremy’s chest feel like it might crack open. Jeremy propped himself up on one elbow and watched Evan’s gaze follow his bicep. Well, his upper body was something Jeremy was still proud of, minus the scars hidden by his undershirt. “You can touch me, you know.”
Evan nodded and reached out a hand. Rather than go for the bicep he’d been eyeing earlier, Evan went for Jeremy’s face. Jeremy flinched at the touch at the top of his cheekbone, right below the scar, but he relaxed as Evan’s fingertips moved down his cheek to his jaw. “You can kiss me, too,” Jeremy coaxed.
Evan scooted closer as he leaned in to kiss Jeremy. The kiss was every bit as sweet as the one at the club but filled with an edge of neediness that hadn’t been there before. Jeremy didn’t argue when Evan pushed him onto his back so he could deepen the kiss, didn’t do anything to rush them forward; he just let Evan learn the taste of his mouth while he did the same. Kissing had been more of a means to an end in the past for Jeremy—enjoyable most of the time but, ultimately, a step toward a larger goal. Now, having been without it for so long, Jeremy glutted himself on the glide of Evan’s tongue against his own, the way Evan quickly learned what he liked. Evan’s eager enthusiasm made him want to stretch the moment out and make it last. He stilled when he realized he was memorizing Evan’s taste for after, when this all blew up in his face. When the pink lower lip Jeremy had just grazed with his teeth was once again off limits.
He opened his eyes, looking up at Evan as his head thumped the gray bedspread beneath his head. Evan’s lashes fluttered open, his soft expression becoming worried as he hovered over Jeremy.
“Did I do something wrong?” Evan’s teeth bit into the same lower lip Jeremy had been thinking about.
“No, Evan,” Jeremy said softly, his hand sliding from the back of Evan’s neck down his spine. “You did everything right. I want to do something for you.”
Evan released his lip and nodded, gaze wary but eager. “Okay.”
Jeremy shifted so he was fully on his back, and he raised his right hand to nudge Evan’s hip. “Kneel over me, okay? So you’re straddling my right leg.”
With a faint frown, Evan did as he was asked. His cock was so hard it was pulled tight against his flat stomach, barely bouncing as he moved. Yeah, he was every bit as tightly wound as Jeremy suspected and needed a release before he lost it completely. “Good. Now, I forgot to ask, do you have lube?”
Evan nodded, bangs bobbing a little as his hair hung down into his eyes. “Go get it and come right back so you’re kneeling over me like this again,” he instructed. Evan scrambled to do it and as he rummaged in his nightstand drawer, Jeremy took advantage of Evan’s back being turned to ease a hand under the waistband of his jeans, sucking in a breath as he adjusted his cock. He was nearly as hard as Evan was, and his years of celibacy made him almost as eager to pop. Experience, however, told him Evan had to take priority. He groaned when he glanced up and saw Evan facing away from him, kneeling on the bed, and, no doubt, completely unaware he was presenting his ass to Jeremy. His glutes were narrow, concave at the sides when he shifted on the bed but full and firm. The dark shadow of the cleft of his tight ass cheeks hid his opening, but Jeremy could imagine it.
Jeremy pictured his hands parting Evan's cheeks as he leaned in to kiss the hollow at the base of Evan's spine, tonguing his way down to what he knew would be a sweet, tight little asshole. Evan would shudder when Jeremy swirled his tongue around and around before pushing deep. Jeremy would have to hold him down, keep him from squirming away from the amazing pleasure.
Evan turned, shattering Jeremy's fantasy as he tossed something on the bed beside Jeremy's head, narrowly missing him. He flinched, but Evan didn't seem to notice. "Were you staring at me?" Evan asked, his tone suspicious. “At my ... at my ass?"
Jeremy grinned. "Yes. Imagining all the dirty, wonderful things I'm going to do to it. Now, get in the position I told you to before."
Evan blinked a couple times before scrambling across the bed to him. Jeremy flinched again, but Evan was careful as he maneuvered between Jeremy's spread thighs. He sat back on his haunches and gave Jeremy a perplexed look. "This doesn't seem like a good position to fuck me. I mean, I may be a virgin, but I have watched porn."
Jeremy chuckled and crooked a finger at him. "That's because I'm not fucking you yet."
Evan’s mouth opened in a little “O” and his forehead wrinkled. “But ...”
“Do you trust me?” Jeremy asked. Evan nodded, his Adam’s apple bobbing noisily in his throat. “Hand me the lube.”
Evan did, and Jeremy watched his eyes widen as he squirted some lube in his palm. It was going to be messy as hell this way, and there was no chance Jeremy wouldn’t end up covered in lube and jizz, but he sure as hell wasn’t stripping out of his clothes, and it was the easiest way to give Evan a hand job.
“I want you to kneel over me like you were earlier and kiss me. Let me take care of the rest.”
Evan did so, planting his elbows on either side of Jeremy’s ears and lowered down, resting on his forearms as he leaned in. Jeremy could practically hear the gears turning in Evan’s head as he wondered what Jeremy was going to do to him, so Jeremy reached up with his free hand, cradling Evan’s head and kissed him until Evan was focused on nothing else. Only then did he reach between their bodies to grasp Evan’s dick in his lube-covered hand.
Evan’s whole body jerked, and he pulled away, ending the kiss to stare down at Jeremy with wide eyes. “What are you ...”
“Thought I told you to trust me,” Jeremy gently admonished him.
Evan groaned as Jeremy began to stroke. “I do, but ... Oooh, God. You’re gonna make me come before we can do anything.”
“Your dick is in my hand; we are already doing something,” he pointed out. Time for Evan to get over the notion sex meant penetration. There was so much more to it.
Evan shuddered over him, and Jeremy knew he wouldn’t last much longer. He stretched a little further, reaching back to cup Evan’s balls in his slick hand, fondling them for a moment before gently tugging.
Evan’s back arched, and he panted, eyes clenched tightly shut as a shudder ran through his whole body. “Holy shit that’s ... Oh, God, stop, Jeremy, I’m going to come.”
“I want you to,” Jeremy coaxed, using his free hand to push Evan’s hair off his forehead so he could see Evan’s face better. “Come all over my hand now and I promise, I’ll have you hard again by the time we fuck.”
Jeremy’s hand returned to Evan’s dick, and he hadn’t even completed a stroke before he felt the hot spatter of come land on his shirt and coat his hand. Evan let out a low groan as his whole body shuddered. The ecstatic pleasure on Evan’s face sent a rush through Jeremy that was like nothing he’d ever felt before. Evan panted, shivering over him on trembling arms as Jeremy gave him a few final strokes, teasing the sensitive crown before he let go.
“Oh, my God. That was so fucking good.” Evan’s arms gave out, and he collapsed on Jeremy’s right side, pressing his cheek to Jeremy’s chest.
Jeremy laughed. “I told you to trust me.”
“I do.” Evan draped an arm across Jeremy’s chest as he snuggled close.
With a handful of come and a senseless partner curled around him there wasn’t a hell of a lot Jeremy could do to clean up, so he lay there for a moment, listening to Evan’s ragged breathing even out. His own dick throbbed, pushing against the fly of his jeans, but all he did was lean down and kiss the top of Evan’s head.
Soft, gentle snores began a few moments later, making Jeremy smile. Apparently, Evan was the kind of guy who passed out after an orgasm. Good to know. Jeremy yawned then chuckled to himself. At the moment, a nap didn’t sound so bad, actually. Falling asleep with Evan in his arms the other night had been incredible, and this time, he knew Evan wasn’t going anywhere.
Jeremy gently extricated himself from Evan’s grasp and glanced down at his sticky hand. He made a face and wiped it on his already messy undershirt. Hesitating, he glanced at Evan and sat up, carefully working the shirt off so he didn’t smear come all over his face. He discarded the shirt on the floor next to the bed and glanced down at the scars on his abdomen, wincing. He didn’t like the thought of Evan seeing them, but his other shirt was going to be uncomfortable as hell to sleep in. The jeans would be bad enough, but there was no chance he was going to take them off.
He stood, and for a brief second, he thought about leaving, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Even if he wanted to, he knew Evan would be hurt if he disappeared. He sighed and crossed the room to turn out the light. When he returned to the bed, Evan had flipped onto his right side. Jeremy carefully slid into bed, pulling the sheet and blankets up over both of them.
The room was dark, and he’d be mostly covered. He’d have to ask Evan not to look when he got dressed in the morning, but Evan knew Jeremy wasn’t comfortable showing off his scars, and he would respect that, right? Anxiety twisted in Jeremy’s stomach, but he shook it off. He could trust Evan. He wanted to trust him.
There were plenty of issues they were going to have to figure out when it came to sex and Jeremy getting naked, but for now, he was going to enjoy falling asleep with Evan in his arms again. What tonight meant and where things between him and Evan were going were questions Jeremy didn’t need to answer at the moment.
Jeremy flipped onto his right side and curled around Evan, who sighed contently when their bodies pressed together. It wasn’t the most comfortable position with his semi-hard, fabric-covered dick snuggled up to Evan’s ass, but the feel of bare skin against his own bare chest felt so good it made his whole body ache. How long had it been since he’d had that kind of contact with another man?
Too damn long, he thought. Stroking the fine hairs on Evan’s belly, Jeremy scooted closer, pressing his nose against the nape of Evan’s neck. Evan murmured softly in his sleep, and Jeremy felt contentment wash over him.
He didn’t know what was going to happen tomorrow, but at the moment, life was pretty damn perfect.