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“How’d you find this beach?” Evan asked as he pulled into the parking lot at the Tower Beach Club.
“I asked the concierge at the hotel. He said it was the nicest beach on the island,” Jeremy said as he stifled a yawn, hoping the guy knew what he was talking about. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten up this fucking early. Sunrise was at about seven A.M., and he generally did his best to sleep in on days he didn’t have to be at work. But Evan had never seen the ocean before, and they were only going to be in Hilton Head for a few days. Last night, when the idea had popped in his head, Evan seemed eager to go—no matter what hour of day—and that was the only thing that got Jeremy out of bed when all he wanted was to go back to sleep.
He grabbed the backpack at his feet and got out of the car, shivering in the cool morning air. It was only in the low sixties, but it felt cooler with the ocean breeze. He zipped up his hoodie and threw the backpack over his shoulder. “Ready?”
“Yep.”
They walked past the beach club and onto a boardwalk that led through a swath of sand covered in scrubby little plants. Their footsteps echoed on the wooden planks, and the sound of the surf grew louder. Evan paused when they hit the end of the boardwalk, and Jeremy looked at his face, more interested in seeing Evan’s reaction than seeing the ocean. They’d crossed the sound on their way to the island the day prior, but that was nothing compared to the sight of the Atlantic Ocean stretching endlessly into the horizon.
“Wow.” Evan’s voice was hushed, his expression awed, and Jeremy felt a surge of pleasure that he was the one who was able to share the experience with Evan. “That’s amazing.”
“Want to get closer?” he asked, and Evan nodded.
Jeremy kicked off his sandals, and Evan did the same with his shoes and socks. They picked them up and stepped onto the narrow strip of white sand. It was high tide now—Jeremy had checked the tide table online last night—so if they set up out of the reach of the waves, they should be safe.
“I like the way it feels between my toes,” Evan admitted. Jeremy looked down and saw Evan’s toes wiggling in the sand. He did the same and smiled, even though the damp sand was uncomfortably cold this early in the morning.
“Me too.”
Evan began walking, heading east. They were at the southernmost tip of the island and walking toward the sunrise. The sun was still below the horizon but there was a strip of orange that lightened to yellow, then blue.
“This is ... this is amazing, Jeremy. Thanks.” His voice was hushed.
“You’re welcome.” Jeremy looked over at Evan. “I brought breakfast too. I mean, the hotel packed it but, uh, I thought it might be nice to eat on the beach.”
“Wow, you really thought this through,” Evan said, smiling at him.
Jeremy shrugged, uncomfortable with the praise. “It was your first time seeing the beach. I wanted it to be special.”
The words hung in the air, and Jeremy recalled other firsts Evan had wanted, ones he’d asked Jeremy to give him. His brain played tricks with him, playing out a scene as if it had actually happened. In his mind’s eye, he could see and feel Evan’s pale, slight body under his, gray eyes wide and trusting as Jeremy pushed into him, showing him what it was like to take a man inside his body for the first time. He imagined Evan’s mouth, wet and warm against his as Jeremy spilled into him. Why had he let his scars get in the way of what he knew would have been an incredible experience?
Jeremy dropped the backpack onto the sand and unzipped it, pulling out a thin blanket to spread over the sand. He wondered if this was too much, if he was pushing Evan. Was a sunrise picnic too romantic? He’d never done the romance thing before, and he felt out of his element. The wind lifted the blanket and Evan grabbed the end and lowered it. He quickly took a seat before it could lift again. Jeremy carefully lowered himself to the sand. The blanket was small, forcing them to sit closer together.
Above the salty smell of the ocean, Jeremy caught a whiff of Evan’s scent. Jeremy wanted to wrap an arm around him, pull him closer. He wanted Evan so much he ached with need.
Instead, he reached for the thermos of coffee and two mugs. Balancing them carefully, he poured the coffee and handed one to Evan. Their fingers brushed as Evan murmured, “Thanks.”
They sipped their coffee in silence as the sun rose, orange against the blue sky, reflecting off the scattered white clouds and the sheen of water on the sand. A lone runner with a dog jogged past, the animal woofing at the seagulls clustered near the water’s edge.
Evan’s arm pressed against Jeremy’s as they finished their coffee, and the sun continued to climb. It was so close to perfect it made Jeremy’s throat ache. He could imagine moments like that for years to come. Shared coffee with Evan was more appealing than anything else in the world.
“What did you bring for breakfast?” Evan asked quietly.
Jeremy unpacked the backpack, handing the food over to Evan. “Sandwiches with ham and eggs, fruit, and yogurt.” He pulled out bottles of juice. “And orange juice.”
They talked about what they wanted to do for the rest of the day as they ate, deciding they’d check out the shops in Harbor Town, even if they couldn’t afford anything there. If they had time before the ceremony, they would go for a swim in the hotel pool.
“I can’t believe you did this,” Evan said as he finished the last few bites of food. “No one’s ever done anything like this for me.”
“Well, they should, kid,” Jeremy said gruffly. Evan deserved to have the whole world treat him well.
Give me another chance, he thought. I won’t screw it up this time. But he still had a long way to go in dealing with his scars. With Dr. Fuller’s help, Jeremy would do his best to get over his hang-ups. His scars and his issues with driving. Whatever it took.
“Leg bugging you?” Evan asked, and Jeremy glanced over at him as he realized he’d been rubbing his thigh.
“Not really. I was lost in thought, and I guess it was more of a reflex than anything.”
Evan’s shoulders lowered. “Good. I was worried.”
“Nothing to worry about,” Jeremy said, smiling. “C’mon. Let’s go get our feet wet.”
He packed up the leftover food and rolled up his pant legs. Getting up off the sand was more difficult than he expected though. His left leg twinged uncomfortably when he put weight on it, but Evan noticed and held out a hand. Jeremy took it, and Evan’s strength steadied him, taking enough of the pressure off his leg so he could stand. Was it his imagination, or did Evan’s hand linger in his for a little longer than necessary before he let go? He wanted to pull Evan close, kiss him. But it wasn’t the right time. He’d worry about what came next when they got home. He could celebrate Stephen and Russ’ wedding, then deal with his own relationship when they were back in Atlanta.
Evan’s face was lit by the rising sun, and he looked happier and more relaxed than he had in a long time. Maybe it was enough for now.
***
Jeremy knotted his tie, scowling at the mirror in front of him. He hated ties, always had, but he could tolerate it for a few hours if he had to. He finally got the knot to lay right, gave his appearance a quick once over, and nodded. He looked respectable enough. Nothing left to do but find Evan and head over to the ceremony to watch his ex get married to the love of his life. Surreal.
When Evan opened his door, Stephen was the last thing on Jeremy’s mind. Evan’s hair was styled slightly messy. Not quite as “just fucked” looking as when they’d gone to the club, but more stylish than usual. The sight made Jeremy smile. Evan was dressed in a pale gray suit that skimmed over the lean lines of his body, along with a bright white shirt and pocket square. Jeremy’s mouth went dry and he fought back the urge to grab Evan’s navy blue tie and yank him forward for a kiss. But Evan looked too neatly pressed to mess up, even if he would welcome the kiss, which Jeremy doubted.
“You look good in a suit,” he said, his voice coming out husky.
Evan glanced down. “I wear them a lot at work, but I thought I’d get something other than charcoal or black for the wedding.”
Jeremy cracked a smile and glanced down at the tan linen suit, white shirt, blue and white tie, and brown leather shoes and belt he’d bought just for this occasion. “I don’t even own one any more. I used to, but I haven’t had any reason to wear one since before the accident.”
“I like it,” Evan said, and Jeremy wondered if the heat in Evan’s eyes was real. Probably wishful thinking, he thought as they headed out to Evan’s car, but he could hope.
The ceremony was being held at the resort’s beach club on the east side of the island. They followed signs through the club and walked out onto a back deck overlooking the beach. At the foot of the stairs, a cluster of white chairs was set up, and a few people were already seated.
He and Evan joined them, taking seats in the second row behind Russ’ father, who turned to them with a smile. Evan seemed comfortable talking to him, so Jeremy let his mind wander.
Jeremy was sure the wedding had cost a ridiculous amount of money, but the setup itself was simple. There were no flowers, just clusters of seagrass in rope-covered containers in front of the chairs. The tide was low and a wide expanse of wet sand stretched out between them and the water. The sun hung low in the sky with a few clouds high up. Right on the beach, the temperature was warm but breezy, comfortable for wearing a suit. Jeremy smiled to himself; if anyone could order perfect weather, it was Stephen.
The grooms arrived a short while later, and the wedding ceremony proceeded. They’d skipped having attendants, and the justice of the peace did a nice job with the brief but touching ceremony. It was secular—no mention of God anywhere—and very meaningful. The readings were perfect for the grooms, and when Russ started to get choked up over his vows, Jeremy felt Evan’s fingers brush the back of his hand. He flipped his hand over, and Evan took it, threading their fingers together. Jeremy didn’t know what it meant or if it meant anything at all, but he decided to enjoy it while it lasted.
The officiant’s voice cut through the fog of his thoughts. “By the powers vested in me by the State of South Carolina, I now pronounce you married. You may kiss your husband.”
Evan let go of Jeremy’s hand to clap, and Jeremy did the same, happy to celebrate his ex’s wedding, even as he missed the touch of the man beside him.
***
The reception immediately followed the ceremony on the deck overlooking the water. There were tuxedo-dressed waiters carrying trays of hors d’oeuvres and a live band playing to entertain the two dozen guests while Stephen and Russ went off to get a few pictures on the beach with a photographer. A bit excessive for Jeremy’s tastes, but he could hardly blame Stephen wanting to celebrate his wedding in style. He knew Stephen had thought long and hard about marriage, and he wasn’t entering into this lightly. A short while later, Stephen and Russ returned from taking pictures, both looking ecstatic as they mingled with their guests. When Russ joined his sister, Stephen approached Jeremy. Evan stood a few feet away, talking to Monty and Emily.
“Congratulations.” Jeremy held out his hand. “Marriage looks good on you, Stephen.”
Stephen’s grin was so wide it made Jeremy wonder if he’d ever smiled like that when they were together. Jeremy was pretty sure he hadn’t, but for the first time, there was no sting of regret. “It feels good.”
“I’m happy for you.” He truly meant it. He wanted Stephen to spend the rest of his life with Russ and be disgustingly happy. Stephen deserved every second of it.
“Ever thought about giving it a try?” Stephen asked, snagging a champagne flute as a waiter passed.
“Marriage?” Jeremy laughed. “Hell, I’m still working on the idea of a relationship.”
Stephen glanced over at Evan, who somehow looked simultaneously amused and horrified by something that had just been said. Russ’ former roommate was weird as hell, but he was pretty damn funny. “I don’t know. I think you’ve given it more than a thought.”
“True.” Jeremy stared down at his Coke with lime. “Evan’s ... not like anyone I’ve ever met.”
“I’ll admit, I never would have expected it,” Stephen said. “But somehow, I think it works. For both of you.”
“God, I hope so,” Jeremy admitted. “First, I have to fix what I fucked up though.”
“Hey, he’s here with you, isn’t he?” Stephen asked.
“More or less.”
“Then keep trying. I have faith he’ll come around.”
“Faith?” Jeremy raised an eyebrow. “I don’t remember you being religious.”
“I’m not talking about that kind of faith, Jer,” Stephen said. “But I have faith in you, and if you want something bad enough, you’ll make it happen. You’ve come so far already. It goes both ways, you know. I want you to be happy too. You deserve it as much as any of us.”
“Thanks, Stephen.” Impulsively, Jeremy leaned forward and hugged Stephen, his eyes stinging with unexpected tears. “You have no idea how grateful I am to have you back in my life.” He glanced over at Evan as he stepped back. “For a lot of reasons.”