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The following morning as Evan and Jeremy walked out onto the terrace of the hotel, Evan realized two things: they were late, and Evan felt a little shaky from exhaustion and lack of food. Jeremy was to blame for both of them. They hadn’t managed to get much sleep the night before, and although they’d woken up in plenty of time this morning, showering had turned into fooling around, which had turned into another shower, and Evan finally laughingly pleading with Jeremy to stop giving him orgasms.
Not that he was complaining because, holy shit, it was amazing, but he did feel guilty for missing the end of the reception the night before and most of the brunch today. He would have liked to say goodbye to Monty, Emily, and Miss Esther, but it looked like they had already left. At the moment, Russ and Stephen looked like they were saying goodbye to Addie, Joseph, and Alan, but there was still food set up so Evan made a beeline for the buffet and Jeremy followed. Evan piled food on his plate and filled a bowl with fruit and yogurt, frowning when he reached the silverware at the end of the table.
“Uhh, shit,” he muttered to himself, trying to figure out how to pick one up with both of his hands full.
“I’ll get it for you,” Jeremy said, sounding amused. “Go sit down.”
“Thanks.” Evan felt a weird little flutter in his stomach as he walked toward the table Russ and Stephen were standing next to. He wasn’t used to having anyone look out for him, and even a small thing like grabbing silverware made him absurdly happy. He managed to set the food down without incident and hesitated for a moment before debating if it was rude to start eating or if he should talk to the people standing there.
“Addie, I promise, we will see Russ and Stephen again soon,” Joseph said, sounding faintly exasperated. “At the very least, we’ll spend Thanksgiving with them, and that’s only two months from now. But we need to get on the road.”
Not wanting to interrupt the family goodbyes, Evan took a seat as Addie threw her arms around Russ.
“Congratulations! Again! I love you both, and I am so happy for you.” She sounded teary, and Evan remembered what Russ had said about the problems Addie had with his relationship with Stephen at first. It made him happy she’d come around. Not that he had any hope for his own family, but it was nice to know some people could change their mind.
Addie hugged Stephen then Russ one more time before she wiped her eyes and tucked her arm through Joseph’s. Evan waved when Alan lifted a hand to him in farewell.
“Sorry to say hello and run, but it was nice meetin’ ya this weekend, Evan.”
“You too.” Evan smiled at the older man. “Have a good drive home.”
Jeremy slid into the seat beside him as Russ’ family left, pushing the silverware across the tablecloth toward Evan. “Well, I managed to make do with the few bites you left behind.”
Horrified, Evan glanced over at Jeremy’s plate, which was nearly as full as his, and his worry changed to amusement. “Shut up. I’m starving.”
Jeremy grinned at him and leaned in, nudging Evan with his shoulder. “So am I. I wonder why that is.”
“Completely your fault,” Evan said, laughing. “You’re the one who wouldn’t keep your hands to—”
“Well, I see you two worked things out.” Stephen’s words cut off what Evan was saying, and he felt heat flood his cheeks.
“Um, yeah, we did,” Evan said, smiling at the silver-haired man who took a seat at the table across from him, feeling embarrassed but happy. “Sorry we missed the end of the reception.”
Russ shrugged as he sat down with a cup of coffee. “No big deal.”
“We didn’t mean to be so late for brunch either,” Jeremy said. “But Evan wouldn’t keep his hands off me.”
Evan, who had just taken a bite of food, had to cover his mouth with a napkin as he sputtered. He saw both Russ and Stephen grin.
“Of course, you had nothing to do with it, right, Jeremy?” Stephen teased.
Jeremy shook his head. “Of course not. It was all Evan.” Jeremy reached up and played with Evan’s hair.
Evan managed to chew his eggs and swallow before he spoke. “Me? You’re the one who brought the lube into the shower!” His eyes widened when he realized what he’d said aloud, and he felt his cheeks flush darker. He cleared his throat. “Err, never mind. Please, please ignore that.”
Laughing, Jeremy leaned in and kissed his cheek. Evan glanced around, unsure, but none of the other guests on the terrace were paying any attention to them, so he relaxed against Jeremy and closed his eyes for a second, letting himself enjoy the moment despite the newness of being out in public.
It was all good. So, so good, but Evan felt all jumbled up at the moment, overwhelmed by everything that had taken place in the last twenty-four hours. Evan could recall every second of last night as they lay on their sides in bed spooned together.
He could still feel the rough scrape of Jeremy’s teeth on his shoulder, the strange and wonderful pleasure-pain of Jeremy’s cock sliding into him, and hear the gasped ”I love you” in his ear as Jeremy came.
He opened his eyes to see Russ and Stephen smiling at them. They looked so happy. Happy with each other and for him and Jeremy. It made the sting of embarrassment fade more quickly than usual, and he felt the warm glow of being included for once. He was one of them for the first time instead of being on the outside looking in.
“So, um, where are you guys going on your honeymoon?” Evan asked, changing the subject. His stomach rumbled, and he took a bite, trying not to shovel the food in. Sex was a hell of a lot more athletic than he expected.
Russ sat back with a sigh, cradling his coffee cup. “I don’t know. Stephen won’t tell me. It’s a surprise.”
Evan stopped inhaling his food long enough to answer. “That’s kinda fun though.”
Grinning crookedly, Russ nodded. “True. I’m just dying to find out where we’re going.”
“I would be too.”
“I do know it’s somewhere in the U.S. since I don’t have a passport.”
“You’re enjoying the hell out of keeping this a secret, aren’t you, Stephen?” Jeremy said drily.
“Oh, absolutely.” Stephen grinned.
“How long are you going to be gone?” Jeremy asked as he split a muffin in half and buttered it.
“About three weeks,” Russ replied. “Stephen has a ridiculous amount of vacation time accrued since Vantage lets us roll it over at the end of the year, but I pretty much maxed mine out to get the time off for the wedding and honeymoon. Someday, we’ll go to Europe and spend some time in the Mediterranean, then go to Australia and New Zealand when we can take a huge chunk of time off. But, for now, I am sure whatever Stephen has planned for the next few weeks will be incredible.”
Russ and Stephen exchanged a smile before Stephen spoke. “That reminds me. I have a favor I’d like to ask you two.”
“Jeremy and me?” Evan asked and felt a weird little thrill that Stephen was already treating them as a couple.
“Yes. Russ and I are leaving straight from Hilton Head for our honeymoon, and we have some belongings that need to go back to Atlanta. Primarily, some laundry from the last few days—the hotel laundered it but there’s no point in lugging it on our trip—and our tuxes. Would you be willing to take it back to Atlanta and drop it off at our apartment?”
“Umm, sure,” Evan said, strangely flattered they’d asked for his help.
“Great. That was one thing I hadn’t considered until this morning, and it will make things much easier.” Stephen shot him a relieved smile. “You’re headed back to Atlanta today, aren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Then if you’re done with breakfast, Jeremy, why don’t you come with me now and grab the key and our suitcases while Evan finishes eating?”
Evan saw Jeremy raise an eyebrow at Stephen, then slowly nod, tone vaguely puzzled. “Uhh, sure.” Jeremy stood and leaned over, kissing Evan’s cheek. “I’ll be back in a few. Try to stop when you hit the plate, okay, kid?”
Evan scowled at Jeremy, pretending to be annoyed, but secretly thrilled by the affectionate gesture and nickname. “You’re mean. Go away.”
Laughing, Jeremy leaned down and kissed him again, this time on the lips, and very thoroughly. “Love you,” he said when he pulled away.
Evan blinked up at him, dazzled by the sun and the man who had just kissed him, and his voice softened. “I love you too.”
Still dazed and smiling, he turned back to face Russ as Jeremy and Stephen walked away. Russ wasn’t even attempting to hide his shock, but there was another expression on his face that Evan couldn’t quite identify.
“What?” he asked, cheeks flushing for the umpteenth time that morning.
“You and Jeremy. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it,” Russ admitted. “I mean, you seem so different together.”
“Different than what?” Evan asked, stabbing a piece of melon with his fork.
“Different than when you’re apart. I mean, it’s good, you both seem happy, and it’s like he keeps you from being too serious, but it’s ... taking a while for me to adjust.”
Evan sighed as he cut off a bite of his omelet. “For me too. I mean, I’ve never been happier in my life, but it’s all a lot to take in.”
Russ’ smile was sympathetic. “I’m sure.”
“Jeremy did this huge one-eighty in the last few weeks. It’s going to take some getting used to.”
Russ frowned. “Do you not trust Jeremy?”
“I trust him completely. It’s my own head that’s the problem. I always overthink things, you know? It’s all so good, so amazing, and I ... Maybe a small part of me wonders how it’s possible so many good things can happen to me.”
“I understand that,” Russ said. “When Stephen and I first met it was ... intense, I guess. He’s very charming, and I felt sort of overwhelmed. I mean, you know the basics—he had me stay with him after I sprained my ankle and gave myself a concussion—but in the first few days, he bought me a new phone and a new suit, and I felt so out of control, like it wasn’t my life any more. I had to spend a few days on my own, and we had to discuss some boundaries. I’m not saying it’s the same as the situation you’re in with Jeremy, but I do understand how overwhelmed you must feel. If that helps.”
“It does,” Evan said.
“Tell him then. I’m sure he’ll understand.”
Evan smiled faintly. “Since when are you so pro-Jeremy?”
“Well, I did just marry Stephen, which makes me feel a little more magnanimous toward his ex.” Russ gave him a sheepish shrug. “But, mostly, I saw you two together last night and this morning, and I can see how much he cares about you. I’m happy for you, Evan, I really am.”
“I’m happy for me too,” Evan admitted, and Russ laughed.
“That’s what matters.” Russ reached for an insulated carafe that had been sitting on the table. “More coffee?”
“Yes, please.” Evan finished his food while Russ poured the coffee. “So, uhh, what was with Stephen and Jeremy leaving, anyway? I feel like it was intentional.”
Russ laughed softly and pushed the cream and sugar toward him. “It was. Stephen wanted to give me a chance to talk to you, and he wanted a few minutes to talk to Jeremy.”
Evan nodded. “Were you guys worried about us or something?”
Shrugging, Russ stirred his coffee. “Of course, we’re a little worried. You’re our friends. I don’t know. I guess I feel like we’re responsible for you two meeting in the first place, so we wanted to look out for you both. Plus, I think of you as a—a brother or something, you know? I want you to know you can always come to me if you need to talk.”
Evan had to swallow at the idea of Russ being so concerned about him and at being called his brother. “Thank you. That means a lot to me,” he said quietly. “And I think Jeremy and I have this. It’s going to be a lot of work at first. He has to figure out some stuff about his leg and everything, but I feel good about things.”
“That’s all I need to hear.”
***
“Very subtle, Stephen,” Jeremy muttered as they left the terrace. He glanced back at Evan who was still shoveling food in and smiled.
Stephen shrugged. “Sometimes subtlety is overrated. Besides, it would be helpful if you could bring some of our belongings back to Atlanta.”
Laughing, Jeremy shook his head at the man walking beside him. “Oh, I have no doubt about that, you always were honest to a fault. But that’s not your main reason for wanting to get me alone—and it’s certainly not for the reasons you used to want to get me alone either.”
“No.” Stephen smiled as he shook his head, but he quickly sobered. “Do you ever feel like it was several lifetimes ago when we were together? So much has happened, and I don’t feel like the same man I was.”
“I don’t feel like the same man, either,” Jeremy admitted. “Considering what we both went through, it’s not surprising though, is it?”
“No.” Stephen was silent for a minute. “But I think you’ve changed more since you met Evan than anything.”
“So, we finally get to your true purpose for wanting me alone,” Jeremy said pointedly. “You wanted to interrogate me about Evan.”
“Interrogate?” Stephen snorted. “Hardly. I just want to be sure you’re both happy.”
“And be sure I’m not going to hurt him, right?”
“I care about you both.”
“I know you do, but you don’t give Evan enough credit. He’s a hell of a lot tougher than he looks.”
“I know he is.”
“I love him, Stephen.”
“I know you do.” Stephen’s tone was gentle.
“Did Russ tell you what we talked about a few weeks ago when he came over to beat some sense into me about coming to the wedding?”
Stephen laughed. “Only in general terms.”
“Well, what he said was pretty rough. Emotionally, I mean, I kinda felt ... well, as if I’d been hit by a car again. Not that he said anything to be cruel, but what he said made me realize how much Evan mattered to me. I came here this weekend to see you and Russ get married, but I came here to win Evan back too.”
“Am I supposed to be offended?”
Jeremy laughed. “No, and I never thought you would be. I’m just saying I know what I want now. I want Evan, and I am going to do everything I can to be sure I don’t screw it up with him.”
“I am glad to hear it.”
They were silent as they approached the elevator. Several other people were waiting as well, and Jeremy was grateful to have a few minutes to pull his thoughts together. When they reached the floor where Stephen and Russ’ suite was located, the hall was empty, and Jeremy spoke. “I also realized—for the first time in fifteen years—I’m grateful for the accident. Because, without it, I wouldn’t have been the right man for Evan.” He took a deep breath. “I kinda lied to you before though, Stephen.”
Stephen glanced at him, forehead furrowed. “About what, exactly?”
“About how okay I was with where I ended up, and how I felt about who I am now. When we first reconnected, I hated that you went on to live this perfect life you dreamed about as CFO of Vantage with a guy like Russ for a partner, when I got stuck working retail and was all alone. I mean, I was happy for you, don’t get me wrong. You deserve a great life, but I hated the way it reminded me how far I was from the man I wanted to be.”
“Oh, Jeremy.” Stephen’s tone was soft and a little sad.
Jeremy shrugged. “Yeah, I know.”
“Why didn’t you tell me the truth?”
Swallowing hard, Jeremy took a deep breath before he answered. “I wanted you to see I was okay so you could let go of the guilt.”
Stephen was silent as he paused in front of the room and slid his keycard into the reader. He didn’t respond until they were on the other side of the door and it had clicked shut behind them. “You always put on a brave face, joked when you were unhappy, so I guess I shouldn’t be entirely surprised. I think on some level I knew you were more lonely and hurting than you let on, but I had no idea ...”
“Well, Evan’s the only one I let see all of that, and even then ...” Jeremy hadn’t actually told him about the near-suicide attempts, or gone into depth about the hellish time in rehab. He’d really only skimmed the surface of how fucked up he’d been.
“So let him in,” Stephen suggested.
“I plan to. And I’m seeing a therapist, and I’m going to get my ass behind the wheel of car eventually too, but that’s not the problem.”
“Then what is?”
Jeremy felt tears prick his eyes. “How in the hell do I deserve him?”
“You don’t,” Stephen said quietly. “You just do everything in your power to be grateful you found him. You ignore the voices in your head telling you he deserves better and hang on tight. You appreciate what you have, every day, and you choose to be the best man you can be. Because, if he loves you, if he thinks you’re deserving of his love, that’s enough.”