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Jeremy watched Evan end the call with shaking fingers, and when he glanced over at Jeremy, the anguish on his face made Jeremy’s chest tighten. He held out his arms, and Evan burrowed into them.
“You okay?” Jeremy asked then cursed himself. Of course, Evan wasn’t okay. He never was when it came to anything to do with his parents. He dealt with it well, but his mom managed to hurt him every time she called.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Evan muttered against his shoulder. “My mom gave me weird news about my dad though.”
Fuck, Jeremy didn’t have a clue what to do to help. What he wanted was for Evan to tell his parents to fuck off and block their number, but that didn’t seem likely. “What news?” he asked instead.
Evan sat up and sighed. “My dad got arrested for drunk driving. It wasn’t the first time.” He went on to tell Jeremy what his mom had told him. By the time Evan was done, Jeremy was livid. He stood and began pacing.
“I am so fucking angry with people like him. How can they not see that they ruin other people’s lives? How can they be so goddamn selfish? It makes me absolutely crazy!” Someone like Evan’s dad had made the choice to drive drunk, and Jeremy’s life would never be the same. Sure, some of it was Jeremy’s fault for his faulty brakes, but if not for the drunk driver that caused the accident in the first place, Jeremy’s injuries might have been relatively minor. He grabbed the clothes off the floor and tossed them into the hamper, slamming the lid shut. He noticed Evan flinch, and he forced himself to take a deep breath. Jeremy had every reason to be pissed, but Evan didn’t deserve to have him take it out on him.
“Yeah, me too,” Evan admitted. “I’m sorry.”
Jeremy froze and turned to look at him. “What in the hell do you have to be sorry about, Evan? It wasn’t your choice to be born into that family. Your father is an asshole. A selfish, drunk-driving asshole who emotionally abused you and your mother. He deserves to rot in prison as far as I’m concerned.”
“Me too, but my mom ...” His voice trailed off, and Jeremy stepped closer to get a better look at him.
He still looked confused and sad, like he had since he hung up the phone. Jeremy’s worry deepened. Evan had hardly blinked at his rant about Jimmie Harris deserving to rot in jail, which, now that he thought about it, had been pretty insensitive and asshole-ish of him. He stifled a groan. God, sometimes he really sucked at being a boyfriend. He needed to listen to Evan, not just rant and insult his family. No matter how big of an asshole they were. He didn’t need to stoop to their level.
He softened his voice. “What about her?”
“She’s just ... I don’t know. She seems so sad and scared. She kept talking about how lonely she is, and that she doesn’t know what to do. She—she asked if she could call me again, and I said yes.” Jeremy scowled at that bit of news, and Evan continued. “I just felt so bad for her.”
“Do you think she might be doing it to manipulate you? To help her out financially?”
Evan shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think maybe she just needs someone to talk to. She didn’t ask for money once. Just to call.”
“Okay.” He didn’t like it, but it was Evan’s decision, and he’d promised to respect that.
“At the end ... she ... I think she said she missed me.” Evan’s expression was still weirdly blank, and Jeremy felt a sudden need to get Evan into bed and in his arms. As if that would somehow fix everything. He stepped closer.
“Hey, you okay, kid?” The listless shrug Evan gave him sent a serious spike of anxiety straight to the pit of his stomach. “Okay, stand up,” Jeremy ordered.
He helped Evan to his feet and stripped him out of the robe. He tossed it, and the towel he’d been wearing, in the general direction of his bathroom and turned to Evan again. Steering Evan to face the bed, he gently guided Evan closer. “Now, I want you to get in bed with me.”
Evan sighed. “I’m not sure I’m really in the mood now, Jeremy.”
Jeremy kissed his temple and hugged him close. “For talking in bed?” he whispered in Evan’s ear.
“Oh.” Evan let out a surprised sounding laugh. “I thought you meant sex.”
“Hey, I’m all for sex when the situation calls for it,” Jeremy said quietly. “But I think right now, you need some time to unwind. Get it all off your chest. I just thought it might be easier in bed where I could hold you.”
Evan nodded and gave a relieved sigh as he slid between the sheets. Jeremy walked around the bed to his side and carefully slid closer until they were lying on their sides, inches apart. “This was a good idea,” Evan said, surprise tinging his voice.
Jeremy’s smile probably was a little smug, but he reached out to touch Evan’s face softly. “Hey, I’m learning. With some work, I think I can be a pretty decent boyfriend, right?” He hoped so anyway. He sure as hell was trying.
“You’re pretty great,” Evan said quietly and so matter-of-factly that Jeremy smiled despite his worry.
Evan burrowed closer, carefully wedging a knee between Jeremy’s thighs so his injured one rested on top. It took the strain off his hip and thigh and he appreciated that Evan was so careful with him. Wrapping an arm around Evan’s back, he hauled him closer so they were nearly chest-to-chest, and their foreheads were pressed together.
“So, talk to me, kid. What’s going on in that brain of yours?”
Evan sighed. “I don’t know. Mostly, I’m relieved about my dad being in jail, I think. He can’t hurt anyone now. I’ve always been afraid of that. I hated when he’d come home reeking of beer, and I knew he’d been driving. I wanted to stop him, but ...”
“But there was nothing you could do,” Jeremy reassured him. “Trust me, you were just a little kid. It wasn’t your responsibility. It was his.”
“I know.”
“So, what else is going on in there?” Jeremy gently tapped the side of Evan’s head then let his fingers slide through Evan’s soft, fine hair. Evan sighed and burrowed closer, some of the stiffness leaving his body.
“A part of me thinks, well, maybe he’ll get some help, but knowing him, he’ll get out of prison in five years and be even angrier.” Evan sighed again, and Jeremy felt the warm exhale of air against his cheek.
“Tell me more about your mom.” He kept stroking Evan’s hair, hoping it was helping. “You said she seemed scared?”
“Yeah. She seemed lost, and she cried a lot. This is the first time she’ll have to take care of herself. It’s the first time she’s been on her own since, well, ever, I guess. She got knocked up while she was in high school.”
Jeremy quickly did the math in his head and suppressed a shudder. “Your mom is only a couple years older than me, isn’t she?” He tried to stifle the disgust in his voice too, but it wasn’t as easy.
“Uhh, yeah, I guess so,” Evan said, sounding surprised. “I never thought about it that way, but I guess she is. My dad too. They were both seventeen when she got pregnant.”
“That’s just weird, Evan.”
For the first time since they left the bathroom, Evan laughed. He pulled back to look Jeremy in the eye. “I honestly never considered it before. They both seem a lot older and ... I don’t know. Just nowhere near the same. I don’t think of you as their age, Jeremy.”
Jeremy cracked a smile and tilted his head to kiss Evan briefly. “I know. It was just a weird thought.”
“Very.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” Jeremy often worried he couldn’t be serious enough for Evan. That he was too flip about everything.
“No, it’s fine. Sometimes, I need a break from what’s going on in my head.”
Jeremy nodded, relieved. “So she didn’t ask you for anything?”
Evan was silent for a moment. “Not really. She just wants to stay in contact. She didn’t ask for money or anything, she just seemed like she wanted to talk. Like she needed me to reassure her it was going to be okay.”
Jeremy let out a heavy sigh. He hated the idea of the woman asking Evan for anything, but the fact that she hadn’t pressed him for money was a plus. He didn’t trust her motives though, and he couldn’t shake the lingering fear that she was trying to soften Evan up before she showed him her true colors.
Evan continued, nearly echoing Jeremy’s thoughts. “I feel bad that things are so shitty for her, but there’s really nothing I can do. Maybe if she hadn’t called and begged for money last time, or she’d reached out to me because she missed me, I’d feel different, but I-I don’t trust her. A part of me is afraid she’s just using this to make me feel sorry for her.” He sighed heavily. “How sad is that?”
It was sad, but Jeremy understood. Hell, he’d taken his own parents to court to keep them from getting their hands on the settlement money he’d received. “I know, kid,” he whispered and kissed Evan’s forehead. “I know. You don’t have to decide anything tonight though. Just take care of yourself and trust your gut.”
Evan gently pushed Jeremy onto his back, and Jeremy went willingly, shifting until Evan was curled up next to him, head on his shoulder, hand resting over his heart. Neither of them spoke for a long while, content to lie together in bed and take comfort in not being alone.
“Thanks for understanding,” Evan said quietly, pulling Jeremy out of the drowsy state he’d been in.
“Any time.” Jeremy kissed his forehead and let his lips linger. “Love you, kid,” he said roughly, and Evan turned his head to kiss Jeremy’s chest.
“Love you too.”
***
The next morning, Jeremy was abruptly jolted out of his sleep. He blinked and scrubbed his hands over his face as he stared at the guy standing by the bed holding a plate and a mug. The scent of coffee and bacon filled the air. “Evan? What are you doing?”
His tongue felt thick with sleep, his eyes bleary, as he struggled to wake up and process what was going on.
Evan bit his lip. “Um, I made you breakfast?”
Jeremy cleared his throat. “Wow. I, uhh—no one’s ever made me breakfast in bed before.”
Evan’s cheeks turned pink. “Is it weird? It’s this stupid little fantasy I had. Something I wanted to do if I ever met a guy and stayed over, you know?”
“Nah, it’s not weird. You’re sweet.” Jeremy pushed himself back until he could prop up against the headboard. He patted the bed beside him. “C’mon, let’s eat together.”
Evan handed him the plate. “Mine’s still in the kitchen. I’ll be right back.”
Jeremy was still smiling stupidly down at the plate of bacon, toast, and scrambled eggs when Evan got back. He settled on the bed, cross-legged with his plate on his lap, and Jeremy picked up a piece of bacon and pointed it at him. “You must have gone to the store because I don’t have any of this in my kitchen.” He usually ate cereal. If the milk hadn’t gone bad.
“Yeah, I did.”
“God, what time did you get up?” Jeremy took a bite of the bacon. It was a little blackened around the edges yet kind of chewy, and he was pretty sure it was the best damn bacon he’d ever had.
“A couple hours ago. I don’t usually sleep in late unless I’m sick.”
He glanced at the clock. It was after noon. “Oh. Well, I like to sleep in, but I don’t usually wake up this late either. I must have slept really hard.” He’d passed out with his arm wrapped around Evan and couldn’t remember waking up once. He felt rested, and although his leg had the usual morning stiffness—not to mention other parts that had grown stiff for completely different reasons—he felt pretty damn good.
“I wanted to thank you for last night too.”
“Nothing to thank me for, kid. Taking care of you is part of the job description as boyfriend, right?” He winked to let Evan know he was just teasing.
Evan gave him a shy, sweet smile and changed the subject. “Do you work today? I figured you worked the later shift at least, but I wasn’t sure.”
“Nah. I took it off too. I have to go back tomorrow. You wanna do something together?”
Evan smiled. “Sure. What do you have in mind?”
“Well, we can drop stuff off at Russ and Stephen’s place, then decide what we want to do. I need to work out later, but that’s the only thing I have to do.”
“Cool.” Evan bit into his piece of toast.
Jeremy smiled back. “My leg’s feeling pretty good too, so maybe we could get another type of workout in before we leave.” He winked and watched Evan’s cheeks turn pink as he nodded and shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth.
***
Jeremy glanced around the lobby as Evan made a beeline for the concierge desk.
“Hi, Evan.” The man at the desk smiled and nodded at both of them. He was about Jeremy’s age, blond and good-looking.
Evan smiled back at him, and Jeremy was surprised by the brief flash of jealousy he felt. “Hey, Ken.”
“Settled into your new place okay?”
“Yeah, it’s great. Thanks.”
“How’ve you been?”
“Good, good.”
“We’re here to drop off some of Russ and Stephen’s belongings from the wedding,” Evan explained as Jeremy held up the garment bag he carried. “I have the spare key.”
“You can go right up. Stephen called yesterday and told us to expect you.”
Jeremy snorted quietly to himself. Of course, he had.
Evan smiled. “Thanks, Ken. See you in a few.”
With a small wave, Evan walked away from the desk toward the elevators. The lobby was sleek and contemporary, the floors gleaming, and the lighting subdued. Jeremy stared down at his beat-up athletic shoes and felt completely and utterly out of place.
Jeremy looked over at Evan as they waited for the elevator to arrive. “You know, I forget you used to live here.”
Evan shrugged. “Just for a few months. Did you ever live here? I mean, when you were with Stephen.”
“No, Stephen and I lived together in another place in Midtown. Not too far from here, but it wasn’t nearly as nice.” Nicer than what I have now though, he thought as the elevators slid open with a quiet swish.
“When I got to Atlanta, and to this building, I almost chickened out. Everything was just so different and terrifying, and if I’d had anywhere else to go, I would have. But Russ and Stephen were literally the only people I knew who would help me.”
Jeremy reached out with his free hand and squeezed Evan’s arm. “I can imagine how freaked out you must have been.”
“I’d met these guys once, at a funeral of all things, and Russ and I had texted and talked on the phone a few times, but that was it. I couldn’t wrap my brain around why they would help me, you know?”
The elevator stopped on the fifth floor, and Jeremy followed Evan out into the hall. “Because they’re good people, I guess. I’ve always known Stephen was, and the fact that Russ badgered me into coming to the wedding for Stephen’s sake ... well, that says a lot.”
Evan nodded. “I felt like I could trust them, and I got really lucky that I could. I don’t know how you handled everything on your own, Jeremy.”
Shrugging, Jeremy shifted the garment bag to his other hand. “I’d been living on my own in college for a while by the time the accident happened, plus during and after rehab, I had a case manager to oversee things. I didn’t do it alone, really, just didn’t have friends or relatives to help.”
Evan came to a stop, and Jeremy looked up at the sign for unit 508. “It just makes me sad. I wish I could have helped.”
“I wish you could have too, but you were in, what, middle school when I got out of rehab?”
Flushing, Evan twisted the key in the lock and opened the apartment door. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
Jeremy looked around Stephen and Russ’ place. It was every bit as nice as he’d expected, with large windows and high ceilings. Clean, bright, and stylish. Very Stephen.
“Hey, they got a new couch,” Evan said, and Jeremy glanced at him.
“What?”
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”
Jeremy nodded, still lost in his earlier train of thought. “Timing’s weird, huh? If I’d met you any earlier, you would have been way too young, and if I’d met you later, well, you’d probably have already met another guy.”
“Yeah, you’re right about the first part, but I dunno, I think maybe it always would have been you. I met Chris, and he’s a great guy, but he was never going to be enough because he wasn’t you.”
Jeremy laid the garment bag on the granite countertop in the kitchen. “I’m not complaining. I’m just struggling to figure out what I have that he doesn’t.”
“You get me,” Evan said, stepping closer to him, a soft smile on his face. “Chris has always lived in a nice, happy little world. His parents were cool with it when he came out, he went to college, got a degree, and has a job he loves. It just seems like he’s never really been through anything, you know? I could be wrong—I don’t really know him that well—but I feel like he’d never understand what it’s been like for me. How scared and lonely I’ve felt.”
Nodding, Jeremy felt the pieces fall into place. He’d been right—more or less—about what Evan saw in him. Jeremy had been through similar experiences: family rejection, insecurity, isolation. With a sad smile, he wrapped his hands around Evan’s narrow hips and pulled him close. “I wish I could take all that shit away for both of us, but if we have to deal with it, I’m glad we have each other now.”
Evan threw his arms around Jeremy’s neck and kissed him hard. When he finally drew back, they were both breathing hard.
“Me too,” Evan whispered against his mouth, and Jeremy smiled at his eager, slightly awkward passion. There was nothing calculated about Evan’s reactions, nothing smooth or practiced and artificial about him. It turned Jeremy on like nothing else to know he was the only man Evan had ever been with that way.
“Wanna go mess up Stephen and Russ’ bed?” Jeremy asked, pressing light kisses from the corner of Evan’s mouth and up to his sharp, defined cheekbones.
Evan drew back, a horrified expression on his face. “You’re kidding, right?”
Laughing, Jeremy turned and slung an arm around his shoulder. “Of course, I am.”
Mostly, he added in his head.