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“Good job tonight, Evan,” Bernard said with a small smile as the last of the mourners filed out of the building. “You’re really getting a feel for what our clients need.”
Evan beamed. “You think so?”
“I am continually impressed by you,” Bernard said. “Couldn’t be happier that Lori paired us to work together.”
“Thanks, Bernard,” Evan said with a smile. “I am too.”
“Any plans with your boyfriend tonight?” Bernard asked. Bernard had been accepting of Evan’s sexuality right from the beginning, but it had taken him a while to switch from calling Jeremy his “young man” to boyfriend. Evan didn’t mind either way, but when Bernard told him his teenage grandson had come out to him recently, he began to realize how hard Bernard was working to understand. He’d even asked Evan a few hesitant questions about how to make his grandson know he supported him. The kid was lucky as hell. It was funny though; Evan didn’t really feel the same sting of jealousy he had before. He had Jeremy, Russ, and Stephen in his life now. Chris, Monty, Emily, Joseph, and Addie were people he considered friends too. Whatever happened with his mom, he was lucky.
Evan’s great mood dimmed as he shook his head, thinking about the fight with Jeremy. Things had been tense between them ever since he decided to call his mom back, and they were only getting worse. Jeremy had been tense and short-tempered lately, and he brushed off Evan’s questions every time he asked.
He hadn’t meant to snap at Jeremy this morning, but he was so tired and sore and still groggy from sleep, and he’d been annoyed by Jeremy pushing him to top. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but the idea still made him so uncomfortable, and Jeremy’s reaction had only made him more annoyed. Evan didn’t like the fact they’d gone their separate ways this morning without saying goodbye to each other, or shared the usual long, lingering kiss.
He realized Bernard was staring at him with a concerned expression, and he gathered his thoughts enough to put together an answer to Bernard’s question about if he had plans with Jeremy. “Nah. I think I may just to go my place. He’s working late.”
Jeremy did have to work late tonight and early the next morning. Their schedules had been so off lately. Jeremy had been picking up the slack for one of the other store managers who’d gone on maternity leave earlier than expected. Corporate was supposed to send over a replacement from another store, but it wouldn’t be until the following week.
Maybe it was better they had a night apart anyway. They could both get a good night’s sleep and talk tomorrow. With a distracted “goodnight” to Bernard, Evan got in his car and started it, grabbing his phone to text Jeremy and let him know he wouldn’t be over that night. To his surprise, he realized he already had a message from Jeremy telling him he hoped he had a good night, and there was also one from Chris from four hours ago. Want to grab dinner?
They’d hung out a few times in the last couple months. Jeremy wasn’t thrilled about it, but he’d reassured Evan the last thing he wanted to do was keep him from having friends. I’m not that much of an asshole, he’d said dryly, which had made Evan laugh.
Haven’t had dinner yet tonight, he replied to Chris, thinking maybe a night out with a friend was better than sitting at home and stewing about the fight with Jeremy.
Already ate without you. About four hours ago, Chris replied, and Evan laughed when he looked at the clock and noticed it was a lot later than he’d realized. The visitation had run long. If you want to meet for Mexican, I could go for chips and guac as a late-night snack though. Kitchen’s open at our usual place until 11, I think.
Evan’s stomach rumbled at the thought of fresh chips and guacamole along with fish tacos, and he fired off a quick text. I’m so in. Meet you there in twenty?
Done. See ya.
He sent a quick message to Jeremy—Grabbing Mexican with Chris. Call me when you’re out of work. I’m gonna crash at my place tonight. Love you—and buckled his seatbelt.
***
“How’s Max?” he asked when he met Chris just outside the restaurant.
Chris made a face. “I swear, we’re not even friends. You just like me for my dog.”
Evan laughed. “That’s so not true.”
Narrowing his eyes at Evan, Chris held the door for him. “You asked how my dog was before you asked how I was. I beg to differ.”
The heaviness of the somber funeral and the fight with Jeremy melted away as they both laughed. “I’m kidding, I swear. How are you?” Evan asked.
Shrugging, Chris gave him a half-smile. “Not bad. Busy with work, hanging out with friends who don’t like my dog more than they like me, playing soccer. All that good stuff.”
The conversation was interrupted as they checked in at the hostess stand and followed a waiter to a table. They placed their order immediately—Evan was way too hungry to wait, and they’d eaten there half a dozen times before so he knew the menu pretty well—and they didn’t pick up the conversation again until they had margaritas, chips, and guac in front of them.
“How is stuff going with James?” Evan asked, referring to the guy Chris had been dating.
Chris shrugged. “Okay, I guess. He’s ...” he shook his head. “Never mind.”
“No, come on,” Evan coaxed him as he took a sip of his margarita. “What were you going to say?”
Sighing, Chris reached for a chip and scooped up some guac. “James is ... way less together than I thought. When we first met, he seemed like he had all his shit together. He had a good job at a high-end suit store and was totally charming and everything, but I’m starting to realize he’s kind of a mess.”
Chris took a deep breath. “I mean, when he said his landlord had jacked up the price of rent when he went to renew and couldn’t afford it, I offered to let him stay with me for a few weeks while he found a new place. But it’s been months, and he still hasn’t found anything. He’s getting all his mail forwarded to my place, and it’s all collection notices. I’m kind of afraid to know how much debt he has racked up, and he’s not splitting the grocery and utility bills with me as he promised he would. He never cleans up after himself either, and I’m constantly having to remind him not to leave shit out for Max to chew on. Max destroyed some Xbox controllers he left out the other day and a pair of Italian leather shoes. It was totally James’ fault for not putting them away, but he made me feel so guilty for what Max did, I ended up buying him new ones.”
Evan frowned at him and took another sip of his drink while he figured out how to respond. “It does kinda seem like he’s taking advantage of you,” he said, hoping Chris wouldn’t be too offended by his statement.
Chris slumped back in his seat and nodded. “I know. And I feel so stupid. I always get myself into these situations with guys. I ... I kinda like lost causes, I guess. I want to take care of someone, and I end up totally screwing myself over in the process.”
Evan scooped up some guac on a chip and crunched on it for a moment. “Well, can you ask James to move out?” he asked after a minute.
“I have,” Chris said, a miserable expression crossing his face. “He keeps giving me excuses, and I don’t have the heart to kick him out totally.”
Wincing, Evan took another big sip of his drink. Sometimes, he thought Chris was way too nice a guy. The better he got to know Chris, the more he realized he was kind of a pushover when it came to guys he liked. “That sucks.”
“Tell me about it.” Chris let out a heavy sigh before shaking his head and smiling. “So, how are you? Did you come right from work?” He gestured to the charcoal suit pants and white shirt Evan still wore. He’d left the jacket and tie in the car.
“Yeah. Really long visitation tonight.”
Chris made a face. “I still find it really weird that you work in a funeral home.”
Evan laughed and had another drink. “Yeah, I know. I like it though. And next semester, I’m going to take another grief counseling class. I think it’ll be really good.”
Holding up his palms, Chris shook his head. “Hey, whatever floats your boat. I’m just saying, if I were Jeremy, I wouldn’t be kissing you when you got home from embalming people.”
“First of all, I don’t embalm anyone—at a funeral home as big as the one I work for that’s left to specialists—and secondly, I think we’re both glad you’re not Jeremy.”
Chris gave him a wry grin. “True. How are you guys doing?”
Evan shrugged, not sure if he should get into the fight they’d had that morning. “Mostly good.”
“That doesn’t sound promising.” Chris frowned at him. “You wanna talk about it?”
“Kinda. I’m not used to having a friend I can talk to about stuff like this though.” Evan took another sip of his margarita.
“Well, tell me whatever you’re comfortable with.”
Evan took another, longer, drink. He felt unsure how to discuss the whole topping Jeremy issue. Was that oversharing with a guy he’d gone on a date with? Maybe it would be easier if he started with the other stuff.
“So, things are pretty crazy with my family now. I told you my dad got arrested for drunk driving, right?” Chris nodded. “Well, my mom filed for divorce, and she’s moving to Atlanta.” He went on to fill Chris in about his conversation with his mom.
“That’s great that you’re rebuilding your relationship with your mom,” Chris said when he finished.
Evan sighed and took another drink. “It is, but I’m kinda conflicted about it because I don’t really trust her, and Jeremy really doesn’t trust her, and we got in a huge fight about that.”
Chris frowned. “Why? Jeremy should be happy for you.”
“Well, I understand his reasoning. She was pretty awful to me before, and she’s always been pretty spineless,” Evan admitted. “He’s worried she’s using me, or that she’ll change her mind or something. His family treated him like shit, so I get where he’s coming from.” He went on to tell Chris how he’d felt when Jeremy walked out, and the fights they’d had since. “And it’s been really weird ever since.”
“Oh, man, that sucks,” Chris said. “But even if he does have some good points, I feel like he should have supported you.”
Evan nodded. “I’m just so confused. This morning we fought again over some really stupid stuff. There’s this ... this other thing we’ve been struggling with.” He stared down at his glass as he haltingly told Chris about their fight about him topping.
Chris laid a hand on his forearm. “That’s not uncommon, Evan. Lots of gay couples struggle to figure that out. Hell, I know some relationships where both guys are tops or bottoms. It gets complicated. But if you love each other enough, you’ll figure it out.”
“I do love him,” Evan said. “I mean, we have a few problems we need to figure out, but overall it’s really good. I’m happy.”
Chris’ smile was broad and genuine. “That’s awesome, Evan. I am really happy for you. I’m totally envious of what you guys have. I think you’ll be able to work through the fights you’ve had lately. Just apologize for whatever part you had in the fight and make sure you listen when he talks. It’ll be okay.”
Evan felt a warm glow at the thought that someone could envy what he had, but when he looked down, he realized he’d drank most of his margarita and only eaten a few bites of chips and guac so far. Maybe the warm glow had more to do with tequila than Chris’ words.
He shrugged to himself and scooped up more of the spicy avocado dip. Maybe it was both. Hanging out with Chris had been a really good idea. He felt better now that he’d gotten it all off his chest and heard that what he and Jeremy were disagreeing about in the bedroom was normal.
He’d finish his drink, eat dinner, then go home to Jeremy and fix things.
It would be okay once they talked, right?
***
Evan fumbled with putting the key in the lock, and Chris plucked them from his hand just as the door opened. Looking up, Evan saw his boyfriend scowling at him.
“What the fuck, Evan?” Jeremy asked. “Jesus, you haven’t been answering your phone, and I was fucking worried something had happened to you. I was about to take the bus over to your place since you told me you were sleeping there tonight.”
Evan blinked blearily at his boyfriend. “Sorry.”
Chris cleared his throat and guided Evan toward Jeremy. “I think that was kinda my fault. Evan and I grabbed dinner, and I got wrapped up bitching about the guy I’m living with. Evan downed a couple margaritas before he finished his dinner. He must not have noticed his phone vibrating. I figured the least I could do was drive him home, and he told me to drop him off here.”
Wrapping his arms around Jeremy’s neck, Evan saw him scowl. “Thanks.” His voice was short and terse.
Chris cleared his throat again. “Well, I’ll leave you guys be. Here are Evan’s keys. The car is in a garage right near the restaurant where we ate. Hopefully, Evan remembers exactly where it is in the morning. If not, he can call me.”
Jeremy nodded and didn’t say much more as Chris left, and he closed the door behind him. Evan sleepily rested his head on Jeremy’s shoulder. “Missed you tonight,” he mumbled.
“Yeah, I can tell,” Jeremy growled. “Out having drinks with another guy really says you missed your boyfriend, Evan.”
His brain too fuzzy to understand any of what was going on around him, Evan nodded sleepily. “Bed?”
Jeremy sighed heavily and tightened an arm around him. “Fine, let’s go to bed. We can talk in the morning.”
***
Morning came with a pounding headache and a pissed off Jeremy. “You work today right?” Jeremy asked as he shook Evan’s shoulder.
Evan blinked and nearly gagged at the taste in his mouth, his head pounding as he sat up carefully. “Yeah? Not ’til later though.” It was still dark out, and when Evan squinted at the alarm clock on the nightstand across the bed, he realized just how early it was.
“Well, I have to head to work. You’re going to have to figure out how the hell to get to work today because I can’t take you to your car.”
“My car?”
Jeremy crossed his arms across his chest, scowling at Evan. “Yeah, the one you were too drunk to drive home last night.”
“Oh, right. Dinner with Chris.” Evan nodded then winced when he realized that made his head throb more. “Margaritas are bad.”
“No shit, kid.” Jeremy snorted. “Good thing your knight-in-shining-armor was there to rescue you. Did you even think about how the fuck you were going to get home?”
“No,” Evan admitted.
“Jesus Fucking Christ, Evan,” Jeremy shouted, and Evan put a hand to his head and winced. “You can’t just do shit like that. You were so out of it, Chris could have done anything to you. Was it really worth it?”
“Not now,” Evan muttered. His head felt like it was going to explode, and he’d never seen Jeremy so mad. “Chris is a nice guy though. It’s not as if he was going to hurt me. Hell, he brought me home to you, right?”
Jeremy snorted. “Yeah, he’s a real prince. It’s so obvious he just fucking wants in your pants.”
“What? No one could want to be friends with me just because they like me?” Evan protested.
“Christ, you’re way too naïve Evan. He’s hoping we’ll break up so he can move in.”
Evan glared at his boyfriend, his head pounding and stomach churning. “Well, if you don’t stop acting like an ass, it might work,” Evan muttered, throwing back the covers and climbing out of bed. He went in the bathroom and slammed the door behind him.
“I’m going to work, Evan. I’m already running late,” Jeremy called through it. “You can find your own damn way to get your car. Maybe you should call Chris!”
“Fine,” Evan shouted back. “Maybe I will.”
The bedroom door slammed, and a few moments later, Evan heard the heavier, muted thud of the front door slamming behind Jeremy. He sighed and sank to the mat in front of the sink, wrapping his arms around his knees as his eyes welled up with tears.
What the hell had just happened? Why were they fighting like this?