| |
By the time Jeremy left work that afternoon, his anger hadn’t abated. In fact, it had only grown stronger. Another manager had called in sick so he’d been forced to fill in for an extra four hours until someone could come in to relieve him. His head was throbbing, his leg ached, and he was ready to collapse. The bus was late, and the shelter by the bus stop was full by the time he got there so he’d been forced to wait in a cold, drizzly rain that snaked down his collar and chilled him to the bone.
When he opened the door to his apartment to find no boyfriend and a recumbent bike in his living room, his frustration boiled over. He kicked at the bike and a sharp, shooting pain tore through his left thigh.
“Goddamn it,” he snarled and made a beeline for the bedroom. “This fucking week sucks.”
Slamming the bedroom door behind him didn’t solve anything, but it did make him feel marginally better. He stripped, discarding his clothes on the floor, burrowed under the covers, and had a faint thought that they still smelled like Evan before exhaustion took over.
***
Hours later, Jeremy awoke to an empty bed. He let out a heavy sigh when he remembered the fight with Evan, and he smoothed a hand over the sheets on Evan’s side of the bed. “Shit,” he muttered. “I’m a fucking idiot.”
He’d let his temper get the better of him, and now Evan was God knows where. The rational part of his brain reminded him that Evan was probably at work, but when he glanced at the clock, he saw it was late. Evan should have been off work by now. In fact, he should have been home. Worry twisted Jeremy’s stomach. What if he’d pushed Evan too far? What if Evan was sick of his anger and jealousy? What if Evan was sick of him?
His stomach lurched at the thought. Fear of losing Evan settled heavily over him, and a future of endlessly lonely nights paraded in front of him.
“No, fuck that,” he said, sitting up and throwing the covers back. “I’m not letting Evan get away because I don’t have my shit together.” He reached for the boxers lying on the floor before he realized he was pretty ripe, and he could do with a shower. He snorted quietly. “Great, now I’m talking to myself, and I smell awful. You really know how to win a man over, Jeremy.”
He tossed his dirty clothes in the hamper and turned on the shower. It took a moment to heat, and he took the time to look at himself in the mirror. He braced his arms on the counter as he leaned in. He looked tired, and the furrows between his brows seemed especially prominent. He hadn’t shaved in a few days, and his beard grew in heavy. It wasn’t a good length right now, and he looked—and probably smelled—like a hobo.
“Okay, get yourself together. Shower, trim your beard, put on something halfway decent, and go to Evan so you can fix this shit,” he muttered.
***
Jeremy’s palm felt sweaty against the crinkling plastic of the flowers he had clutched in his hand. They’d been a last-minute decision, and he wasn’t sure if Evan would like the gesture. Too heteronormative? Jeremy had never given a guy flowers for any reason, much less in apology.
He raised his hand to knock on the door a second time when it swung open to reveal Evan squinting blearily at him. “Jeremy?”
“Expecting Chris?” Jeremy snarled, then his shoulders slumped and he sighed. “Shit, ignore that. I didn’t mean to say that. Forget that even came out of my mouth.” He braced his hand against the doorframe and leaned in. “I’m sorry, okay?”
Evan rubbed his hands across his face. “What the hell is going on, Jeremy? I don’t even know what time it is. I’ve been sleeping all day.”
Jeremy frowned. “You didn’t go to work?” That wasn’t like Evan at all.
“No, my head was pounding, and I figured I could call in sick for the first time in ... well, ever. Lori assumed it was the flu, but I wasn’t even lying when I told her I felt like I was dying.”
Cracking a smile, Jeremy reached up with his free hand and gently touched Evan’s cheek. “Sorry. Me shouting and pounding on the door probably didn’t help.”
“Not really.”
“Oh, um, these are for you.” Jeremy thrust the bouquet of flowers at Evan. “If you hate them, just get rid of them, but I thought maybe you’d like them?”
Evan’s smile was faint, but he took the flowers. “Thanks. No one’s ever given me flowers before.”
Jeremy’s heart ached. Maybe a few grand gestures now and then were a good thing. He’d thought he had this relationship thing figured out, but he was starting to realize he still had a lot to learn.
Evan turned and shuffled into the apartment. “I’m gonna get some water. You can come in if you want.”
Jeremy followed him, but he stayed near the door after he shut it behind him. They were both silent as Evan found a tall water glass, filled it, and stuck the flowers in it. The sound of the crinkling plastic filled the air as he stuffed it in the trashcan.
“I am sorry about being such an ass earlier,” Jeremy blurted out.
Evan sighed and reached for the cupboard. “I’m mostly just confused as hell, Jeremy.”
“Yeah, I know.” Jeremy’s laugh was rueful. “And I’m sorry for that too.”
“So ... explain,” Evan said as he filled the glass with cool tap water and chugged it, refilling it immediately. He turned and faced Jeremy as he sipped the second glass more slowly.
“I’ve had a bunch of shit going on. There’s this really big thing I’m trying to work through with Dr. Fuller, and it’s messing with my head.”
Evan frowned at him. “What really big thing?”
Jeremy hesitated. He really wanted to keep the driving a secret so he could surprise Evan with it. “I promise I’ll tell you about it eventually, but for now, can I keep that a secret? It’s a good thing, I swear.”
“Okay.” Evan sounded hesitant, and Jeremy wondered if he was making a mistake by not telling him.
“I can tell you about one big thing though. You know how I’ve been talking about joining the cycling club?”
Evan paused, drinking glass halfway to his mouth. He slowly lowered it and set it on the counter. “Yeah, it’s been kind of hard to miss the huge bike in your living room. Did you talk to someone about joining or something?”
Jeremy sighed. “Yeah, I went and talked to Brett Sharp—the guy who runs the cycling club—and he basically told me I wouldn’t be able to keep up with them. He was a total prick about it, and I told him off. Hell, I even yelled at him about not being crippled. I thought you and Dr. Fuller would be proud of me for standing up for myself and finally realizing that.” Jeremy reached out then hesitated and let his hand drop. “I’m trying so damn hard to get my shit together, Evan.”
“I know you are.” Evan reassured him. “God, I know you are, Jeremy, but what the hell does that have to do with us fighting and you being jealous of Chris? We went from being fine to you pressuring me about topping and telling me Chris just wanted to get in my pants. I don’t even know what happened.”
“I’ve been stressed and feeling shitty about myself, and I took it out on you.”
“I thought you were over that,” Evan said with a frown.
“I thought I was over it too.” Jeremy looked down at his feet again. “I really thought I was doing better, but I made a mistake.”
“I get that you’re going to have setbacks in therapy and stuff, but why didn’t you talk to me about it?”
Jeremy sighed. “I don’t know. I’m still learning to let you in, I guess. I know I shouldn’t have yelled at you, but I was frustrated when you left my place without even saying goodbye to me, told me you were staying at your place, then went off to dinner with Chris instead. You coming home drunk was just the last fucking straw, and it all came out at once.”
Evan frowned. “Is this about Chris or me drinking?”
Jeremy scrubbed his hands over his face. “Both? Neither? It’s about my messed-up head mostly.”
Evan reached out and gently grabbed Jeremy’s wrist. “So let’s unmess it. Together.”
Cracking a smile, Jeremy let Evan tug him forward. “You’re not my therapist. I’ve gotta work shit out with Dr. Fuller.”
“Of course, but I am your boyfriend, so maybe I can help too?”
Jeremy nodded. “You are amazing, you know that?”
The faint smile Evan gave him was hardly reassuring, but when Jeremy held out an arm, Evan stepped into his embrace.
“Sorry I was a dick yesterday morning,” Jeremy murmured against Evan’s hair, relieved that he hadn’t fucked things up beyond repair. “When I pushed you to top.”
Evan nodded. “Sorry I was a dick about not wanting to do it.”
Jeremy chuckled sadly and pulled Evan toward the bed. “C’mon, let’s talk more. In bed.”
“’K.” Evan sounded wary, but he didn’t fight as Jeremy situated himself on Evan’s bed and pulled Evan down with him so he laid with his cheek against Jeremy’s chest. They weren’t naked or under the covers, but it was a start.
“Look, I’m not gonna lie; I’m having a shitty couple of weeks,” Jeremy admitted. “Being told I didn’t belong in a cycling club because some asshole thinks I won’t be able to keep up was really hard to hear.” Not to mention, the stress from trying to re-learn to drive, but Jeremy wasn’t ready for Evan to hear about that particular battle.
Evan sighed, his breath gusting over the bare skin of Jeremy’s neck and making it prickle with goosebumps. “I get that, Jeremy, and I hate that you feel that way. I know how hard it was for you to go in the first place. If I could trade places with you, I would. I don’t think it would bother me anywhere near as much.”
Jeremy nodded, throat thickening. He believed that. If there were some magic spell so they could switch bodies, Evan would happily do it. He’d take Jeremy’s pain and disabilities in a heartbeat so Jeremy could have the athleticism he’d grown up with. Jesus, he didn’t deserve Evan. “I know. But I’d never let you do that.” No trade that involved Evan hurting would ever be worth it to him, no matter how desperately he wished for the body he’d had before.
“Why did my drinking bother you?”
“Ugh.” Jeremy groaned. “I don’t know. I know you wouldn’t drive drunk, and I’m probably the last person to judge you, considering all of the shit I did in college, but shit, the thought of something happening to you scares the hell out of me, Evan. I trust you, but I don’t really trust the rest of the world.”
“Chris is a good guy.”
“I’m sure he is, and I trust your judgement, I really do, but I hate the thought of you getting hurt. And I hate the thought that I can’t be the one to rescue you. You couldn’t have called me to drive you home because I can’t drive. And it’s shitty and stupid, but it makes me feel useless. And—and like less of a man.”
Evan traced his finger down Jeremy’s chest, and even through the fabric of his shirt, Jeremy could feel the heat of his skin. “I’m sorry.”
“That’s not your fault,” Jeremy protested. “It’s my issue, not yours.”
“But I could have been more careful. I didn’t have to get drunk.”
“My issues shouldn’t keep you from having fun with your friends. I’m going to have to apologize to Chris too. Maybe we should all hang out sometime. Maybe if I know him better, it’ll bug me less.” Jeremy didn’t love the idea, but he wasn’t about to be the kind of guy who told his boyfriend whom he could and couldn’t hang out with.
“Can we invite Max too?” He could hear the smile in Evan’s voice.
“Who? His boyfriend? Sure.”
“No, Max is his dog.”
Jeremy chuckled. “Sure. Why not? I like dogs.”
“You’ll love Max. He’s awesome.”
“So we’re okay there, right?” Jeremy asked. “I’ll get to know your friend, and I’ll try to deal with the jealousy.”
Evan nodded and turned his head to kiss Jeremy’s chest. “Thanks.”
Jeremy sighed. “Wait. I’m not done with the apologies. I want to clear the air about your mom.”
“Okay.”
“Look, I’m not going to lie to you. I don’t love the idea of your mom being involved in your life, but it’s your choice. And, as your boyfriend, it’s my job to support you. I’ve been a total shit about this, and it’s making a tough situation even worse for you, which is the last thing I want. So, from now on, I want you to know I’m going to support your relationship with your mom. I’ll even ... have lunch with her or something. Whatever you want.”
Evan frowned at him. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” Jeremy said firmly. If Lavinia Harris was lying to her son, Jeremy made no promises about how he’d behave, but until—no, unless—that happened, he was going to do everything he could to keep his mouth shut. Evan deserved a chance to see if his mom was sincere.
Evan hugged him. “Thank you. That means a lot. I know that can’t have been easy for you to say.”
Grudgingly, Jeremy nodded. “It wasn’t. And I can’t promise I won’t fuck up again, Evan, but I want you to know I am trying really fucking hard.”
“I know you are,” Evan’s grip tightened for a moment.
“Some days are just ...” Some days were still rocky. A relationship with Evan hadn’t magically fixed the problems Jeremy had, but he was trying like hell to work with Dr. Fuller on all the things he still needed help with.
“Some days are harder,” Evan finished for him. “They are for me too. Like yesterday. I wanted you; totally thought about um, topping, but I’m just so nervous I’m going to screw it up. It makes me all insecure and weird, and I didn’t like feeling insecure and weird, so I took it out on you.”
“I know.” Jeremy kissed the top of his head. “And I get that, kid; I really do. We’re both struggling right now, and it’s okay, I guess, as long as we aren’t letting it get in the way of our relationship.”
Evan turned his head, and his words were slightly muffled by Jeremy’s chest. “Sometimes, I worry you’ll get fed up with me and annoyed that I won’t try it and want someone else.”
“Evan, there is no one else for me,” Jeremy said firmly. At this point, he figured he had enough confidence to recognize he could attract someone else. He could probably even find a halfway decent guy who would understand about his leg and not be a jackass about his scars like the dicks he’d tried sleeping with before Evan. But wanting someone else? That was crazy. Evan was everything he’d ever wanted, and he’d be damned if he let something as stupid as Evan not being ready to fuck him get in the way. “I don’t care how well another guy might fuck me, he wouldn’t be you.”
Evan sat up and turned to face Jeremy. “You mean it?”
Jeremy looked up at him and smiled. He loved Evan so much his entire chest ached with it. “I mean it. I wish I understood why topping stresses you out so much, but it doesn’t matter. Topping, bottoming, it’s all stupid bullshit, really. What matters is you and me. We’ll figure the rest out eventually. I won’t bug you about fucking me, and I’ll ignore the voice in my head whining about how unfair it is that the big boys won’t let me play with them.” His tone was mocking. “I’ll suck it up and find a cycling club for people with disabilities, and we’ll just ... be together, okay? That’s all I want. You’re all I want.”
Lunging forward, Evan kissed him hard. When he pulled back, his cheeks were pink and his gaze was soft as he looked at Jeremy. “You’re all I want too.”
Evan shifted so his knees were drawn up to his chest. He looked at Jeremy, and for the longest time, they just stared at each other. Evan was silent, and when he finally did speak, his voice was so quiet, and Jeremy had to strain to hear him. “You want to know why I’m afraid to top?”
Jeremy nodded.
“I’m afraid I’ll hurt you, Jeremy. You told me about how bad your first time was, and I—I know how much pain you’ve been in with your leg, and the thought of being the one to cause you pain in any way makes me freeze up and panic.” His cheeks heated, but he forced himself to continue. “And I—I kinda go soft when I think about hurting you, so even if I wanted to top, I couldn’t.”
Jeremy drew in a sharp breath. In all the scenarios he’d kicked around in his head, the thought of Evan being afraid to hurt him had never occurred to him. Evan looked down at his knees and picked at a loose thread on his pajamas.
“Hey, look at me, kid,” Jeremy said, and when Evan glanced up, his cheeks were bright pink. “I’m not gonna lie. I like the thought of you inside me, but I don’t ever want you to feel pressured, okay? I wanna still be with you when we’re too old to get it up at all. Sex with you is fucking amazing, and I love every second of it, but maybe I didn’t make it clear enough that sex isn’t about penetration, hell, it’s not even about getting off, really, it’s just a way to be closer to you. That’s all I really care about. I’m sorry you felt like I was pressuring you, okay?”
Evan nodded and his fingers stilled. “I know. I’m sorry too.”
Jeremy’s heart clenched, and he sat up so they were eye to eye. Sometimes, he forgot that, for all his maturity, Evan was only twenty-one, and this was his first relationship. “I’m really glad you were honest with me. So, no more pressure from me, okay? I will still love you as much as I do now even if it never happens. But I want you to know that I trust you.” Jeremy’s thumbs slid along his jaw until they were eye to eye. “Did I hurt you the first time?”
Evan shook his head. “Of course not.”
“Then why would you hurt me? As long as I’m prepped and we use lube, it’ll be fine. I mean, you have a nice-sized dick, but you aren’t porn star huge, Evan,” Jeremy teased, and Evan smiled.
“I know I’m not.”
“And don’t you dare develop a complex about that because I mean it when I say I like you just the way you are.”
“Jeremy!”
Jeremy gave him a crooked grin and winked before he lay back, tugging Evan down with him. When they were settled into the familiar position, Jeremy spoke, his tone serious. “I mean it, kid. All of it. Forgive me?”
Evan nodded against his chest. “If you forgive me.”
“Of course. I love you,” Jeremy whispered past the thickness in his throat. He couldn’t imagine what it would have felt like to lose Evan.
“I love you too.”
***
Hours later, Evan jerked out of sleep and woke Jeremy from a light doze. “Holy shit, did I fall asleep?”
Jeremy cleared his throat. “Yeah, I think we both did.”
“Sorry.”
“Why? We obviously both needed it.”
“Yeah, true.”
“You feeling any better?”
Evan nodded against his shoulder. “A lot better.”
“Tequila hangovers are nasty.”
“Yeah, I’m not doing that again.”
Jeremy chuckled but it faded as Evan trailed fingertips down his chest to the edge of his shirt. His movements were very deliberate as he unbuttoned Jeremy’s jeans and lowered the zipper. “Uh, what are you doing?”
Evan let out a quiet snort. “What do you think?”
“I’m not complaining,” he said with a gasp as Evan fished his cock out through the fly. “Just wondering.” He closed his eyes as Evan began to stroke him. He was half-hard by the time Evan slithered down his body and carefully knelt between his thighs. Warm, wet suction brought him to full hardness, and he was lost in sensation when Evan pulled back and spoke.
“Take off your clothes, Jeremy.”
He blinked in surprise at the firm edge to Evan’s tone but complied, shedding his clothes as fast as he could manage with an erection and a bum leg. He laid back on the bed and looked expectantly at his boyfriend. “What next?”
Evan’s gulp was audible. Apparently, the earlier bravado was a little shaky. “Can I try something?”
Jeremy shrugged. “You can try anything you’d like. I trust you.”
Evan flashed him a brief, nervous grin. “Can you lie on your side and prop your leg up on some pillows?”
Jeremy raised an eyebrow at him. “Is this going where I think it’s going?”
“Uhm, probably. I know you said it didn’t matter if I ever topped, but since we talked, I feel a lot better about trying.”
“Are you sure?”
Evan nodded. “I—I want to try.”
“Tell me if you want to stop, okay?” Jeremy asked. “If it’s too much. I don’t want to put any pressure on you about this.”
Evan glanced up and looked him in the eye, a stubborn tilt to his jaw. “Only if you promise me the same thing. If it starts to hurt your leg, you tell me.”
“Fair enough.” Jeremy smiled. “I promise I will.”
He turned on his right side and gathered pillows to shove under his left leg. Bent at a ninety-degree angle and propped up, it didn’t hurt at all, and it left his ass exposed. “All set.”
“Okay.” He heard Evan take a deep breath then the sound of him rummaging around in the bedside table.
“Please don’t tell me you’re out of lube.”
“No, I swear, I have some.” The rummaging grew more frantic. “AHA! Found it.” Jeremy smiled at Evan’s enthusiasm, but he yelped in surprise when a cold dollop of lube landed on his hip as Evan knelt beside him. “Sorry,” Evan muttered. “I’m kinda ruining this, aren’t I?”
Jeremy chuckled and bit back another shout of surprise as a cool, slippery finger probed between his cheeks. “You aren’t ruining anything, but it might help if you took a deep breath and slowed down. We’ll get there. Remember how slow I went with you.”
Evan’s movements became gentler. “Yeah, true.”
“And while I’m hardly a virgin, it has been a long time,” Jeremy admitted. “Remember, Stephen was the last guy I let fuck me.”
“Please, don’t remind me that the last guy was pretty much the most perfect guy on the planet,” Evan muttered, slowly working his finger in. Jeremy tensed for a moment, then relaxed. Damn, that was good. It had been so long, he’d actually forgotten how much he liked the sensation of fullness. Distracted by it, he struggled to answer Evan.
“Uhh, well I can’t deny Stephen was good in bed, but he isn’t perfect, and there’s no way in hell I’d rather have him in bed with me than you. So can we stop making this weird by talking about my ex?” He craned his neck to look at Evan.
“Well, you started it!” Evan replied with an impish look, curling over to press a kiss to Jeremy’s scarred hip. The gesture sent a surge of warmth through Jeremy. Evan was so casual about his scars. He often offered to rub lotion into them, and Jeremy’s hatred of the twisted, discolored skin had begun to fade. He didn’t know if he’d ever come to be fully comfortable with them, but Evan had definitely helped.
“It’s fine.” His eyes closed as Evan began to stroke a finger in and out of him. “Fuck, keep that up. Add another finger when you’re ready.”
“When I’m ready?”
“Mmhmm. I’m more than ready.” Evan’s hand stilled, then retreated. Jeremy almost opened his mouth to protest when he heard the squelch of lube being squirted out. This time, Evan carefully worked two fingers in, and Jeremy moaned. “Fuck, yes.”
“You really like this?” Evan sounded surprised.
“Don’t you like it when I finger you?”
“Yeah, I just didn’t realize you’d react like this.” Evan sounded a little awed.
“Keep going, and you’ll really see a reaction,” Jeremy promised, carefully flexing his hips and finding a steady rhythm in time with Evan’s fingers. “Yes, like that.”
By the time Evan lay down behind Jeremy, Jeremy was more than ready. What he hadn’t expected was the surge of nerves as Evan’s slippery cock pushed against his hole. He tried to force it down, but as he did so, it occurred to him it was exactly the wrong reaction. He needed to tell Evan, not hide it.
“You’re not hurting me, but I’m actually kinda anxious about this,” he admitted.
Evan stilled. “Really?”
“Yeah. I trust you; I want this, but I’m still sorta nervous.”
Evan sat up on one elbow and kissed his shoulder before resting a chin on it. “Thanks for telling me.”
“How are you?” Jeremy asked, craning his neck to see Evan’s face.
“Good. Nervous, but kind of excited too.”
Jeremy smiled. “We can work with that.”
“Uhm, how do I get any leverage?” Evan asked, his cheeks flaming. “I’m afraid if I grab your hip, it’ll hurt you.”
“Try wrapping your arm around my chest and grabbing my right shoulder.”
Evan lay back and tried it. “Oh! I think that’ll work.”
Jeremy chuckled. “Sex with me is basically like planning a space shuttle launch, but we’ll figure it out.”
The logistics and nerves take a little of the sizzle out of the act of sex, but it certainly increases the intimacy, Jeremy thought as Evan let go long enough to steady his cock with a hand and push forward. The air rushed out of Jeremy’s lungs at the slow, gentle breach. He forced himself to breathe deeply and relax. It felt like it took Evan forever to bottom out, and they both let out a little gasp when he did.
“Good?” Jeremy could hear the tremor in Evan’s voice.
“Even better than I’d hoped,” Jeremy assured him.
“Me too.” Jeremy wished he could see Evan’s face, but this really was the best position, so he closed his eyes and listened to Evan’s voice instead. “I never thought it would feel this good.” What he’d initially thought was nerves sounded more like intense pleasure, and Jeremy smiled to himself.
“You know what to do now,” he coaxed, and he felt Evan’s grip tighten on his shoulder.
Evan kissed Jeremy’s back before he began to move. His strokes were achingly slow, and Jeremy felt heat spread across his body. Jeremy reached down and began to stroke his cock in unison with Evan’s movements. Evan sped up, and Jeremy felt the hot puffs of air from Evan’s mouth against his back.
A low groan left Jeremy’s mouth as the pleasure built and built. Just as he felt his balls tighten and the sensations begin to overwhelm him, a cramp began in his thigh. He tried to ignore it, tried to fight it, but as it grew from discomfort to actual pain, he reached back and grabbed Evan’s hip.
“Wait, I need a sec,” he said with a gasp.
Evan froze. “Oh, God, am I hurting you?”
“Just need to shift,” he said through gritted teeth. He grabbed his thigh and gently eased it forward. A ripple of pain shuddered through the muscle, then eased, replaced with a dull ache.
Evan reached forward, gently massaging the muscle. He’d obviously watched Jeremy when it happened before and was mimicking those movements. He was pretty good at it too. “Ahh, much better,” Jeremy said with a sigh, the tension seeping out of his body.
Aware that this was precisely what Evan had feared and that he could feel Evan beginning to soften within him, he coaxed Evan to continue. “Don’t stop, okay? Keep moving in me. My leg’s fine now.”
Evan hesitated. “Are you sure?”
Jeremy could read the doubt in his voice from a mile away and whispered in his ear so it was doubly clear. “I’m sure. It was just a little muscle cramp that’s already going away. I don’t want you to stop.”
“Okay.” Evan began to move his hips again, but with short, tentative strokes. Like he’d lost his confidence. Jeremy reached down and grabbed Evan’s hand from where it was still massaging his thigh and threaded their fingers together before pressing it against his chest.
“C’mon, you were doing really well,” he coaxed. “I was getting so close.”
Evan’s grip around his chest tightened. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, please, Evan. It was so good, and I want to feel you come in me.”
Evan took a deep breath, and slowly his movements picked up speed and rhythm. Jeremy sighed and closed his eyes, reveling in the pleasure beginning to spread across his body again. When Evan’s breathing grew short and ragged, and Jeremy’s cock began to leak, he took their joined hands and brought it down to his dick. He manipulated Evan’s hand so it was wrapped around his cock and placed his own hand over it.
“Stroke me,” he whispered, guiding Evan’s movements as he carefully craned his neck. Evan seemed to understand what he was looking for and managed to press a quick kiss to his lips before he focused on his rhythm again. Together, they stroked and rocked, and with a short, stuttered groan against his shoulder, Evan came within him. A handful of strokes later, Jeremy’s orgasm spattered wetly against his stomach, coating their hands.
They were both breathing hard as Evan carefully pulled out and collapsed on the bed beside him. Jeremy took a moment to gather himself back together before he pushed aside the propped up pillows and carefully flipped onto his back.
He turned his head to look at Evan, who was staring at him with a dazed smile. His hair was mussed, and he was covered in a sheen of sweat, his cheeks flushed pink. Jeremy couldn’t stop a matching smile from creeping over his face.
“How was it?” he asked.
“A little scary,” Evan admitted, turning his head more, so they were both lying on their backs, faces inches apart. Jeremy reached out blindly for Evan’s hand and found it, clutching it tightly. They were both sticky from come and lube, and it was pretty damn perfect. “But great. Thanks for telling me the truth and not letting me stop.”
Jeremy squeezed Evan’s hand because his throat felt too tight to speak. He’d done it right then. He hadn’t been sure. “We’ll figure it out. Maybe it’s not something we can do all the time, but I think we’ll be able to make it work sometimes. Thanks for being brave for me.”
“I feel like I can do anything when I’m with you.”
Jeremy reached out, sliding an arm under Evan’s shoulders and hauling him close. “You can. And you’ll never have to do it alone again.”