Gardenia Duty

Elizabeth sat in her keeping room, staring at the computer. The funeral was only hours away and she had been appointed to be one of the voices of her sisters. She hated the spotlight, but thankfully Mallory agreed to share it with her. Still, the writing was up to her. How to encapsulate a life in so few words? Elizabeth had more one-on-one stories between her and Daddy since the sisters had all moved away. She wanted to use her dad’s sense of humor but she wasn’t sure she could muster the smiles and stifle the tears, still yet to flow from her eyelids but always threatening.

In spite of her lack of love for coffee, Dan insisted she needed the warm cup of Joe. She forced a tired smile, stared into her fireplace and journeyed back in time, searching for the memories that would become part of the eulogy.

Across town, Audrey cradled her morning cup of coffee and glanced at Leigh sitting in front of the hotel mirror. She was allowing her daughter to play with a little make-up inside while she sat on the balcony with a great view of the Intracoastal waterway. A porpoise arched through the glassy water. A seagull perched on the top of a mast of a sailboat in the City Marina. Life was moving on.

It had been two years since they’d lost Jeff, tragically taken in a car accident by a drunk driver. She remembered the doorbell ringing as if it was yesterday. She’d gotten Leigh to the bus stop and was getting ready to head to the gym. Above the sound of the blow dryer came the fateful bing-bong, an unusual sound at 8:45 a.m. Her husband had left for the shipyard over a couple hours ago. Probably a neighbor needing to borrow something, she told herself. She’d gotten used to her neighbor, Sherry, with four kids popping over for something she needed to use.

As she peered through the peephole, she saw a grey uniform. It wasn’t military. She peeked out of the sidelight curtains. It was a highway patrolman. Her confusion raised another notch. She opened the deadbolt. “May I help you?” she asked.

“Mrs. Walters?” he asked, as he identified himself with his badge. “I’m Lt. Stanley.”

“Is your husband… Jeff Walters?” he asked with a bit of trepidation in his voice. She noticed a female officer standing respectfully behind him.

“May we come in?” he asked. Audrey motioned them in and led them to the den. She suddenly felt numb. Lord, please don’t tell me something bad about Jeff.

“Mrs. Walters, we regret to inform you that your husband was involved in an auto accident,” he said, looking down at his notebook.

She paused, fumbling for the right question, for any words that would change the inevitable outcome. “Are you…sure?”

“We would like you to come down to the hospital. Do you own a red Ford pick-up?”

Audrey felt like she’d been stabbed by the words Ford pick-up. “Yes, but he’s only been gone a couple hours.”

“There was a fatality and it may be the result of a drunk driver,” he said. “But we’ve yet to confirm that and the Coroner would like you to identify him at the hospital.”

Her eyes searched the faces of the two police officers. It sounded business-like but she sensed the conflict in their message. Don’t kill the messenger, resounded in her head. She felt unprepared to react, to spontaneously drop her morning routine and flee to prove them wrong.

“The William Backus,” the female officer answered. Audrey nodded and stared at the wedding picture propped on her fireplace hearth. Her world began to spin–

Audrey’s painful flashback was interrupted by her daughter’s call. “Mom?” Leigh shouted from inside.

Life was still so simple for the cousins. They were clueless about the holes left in the souls of her and her sisters. Or were there holes? Maybe her dad had done it right. He’d always be there. All his hugs, laughs and jokes…

“I’m sure Elizabeth will be fine with that,” Audrey answered, forcing herself to smooth over the depth of the day’s events.

Mallory fidgeted. T-minus four hours before the ultimate good-bye in front of too many people. She retreated to her own thoughts of standing and speaking for the family. They knew their mom was withdrawn and saying very little. Mallory looked at the poem that she’d borrowed from Elizabeth. She’d lost a dear friend due to a brain tumor who’d planned her own funeral. The words of the funeral program seemed to fit perfectly.

TOGETHERNESS

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other that we still are. Call me by old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way you used to.

Put no difference into your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me. Let my name be the household name it always was. Let it be spoken without effort. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was.

Why should I be out of your mind because I am out of your sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well, nothing is past, nothing is lost.

One brief moment and all will be as it was before, only better, infinitely happier and forever. We will all be one together with Christ.

Mallory thought back to her conversation the previous evening with Elizabeth, taking a minute to reminisce on the screen porch. “Do you remember the time in Aberdeen after a thunderstorm there was a bumblebee floating in a bucket?” Mallory asked. She could still recall the yellow and black bumblebee trying to find its way out of the beige bucket of rainwater. It had probably been at it for hours. They’d found it the next morning when their mom shooed out of the house to find something to do.

Elizabeth cringed but had to grin. “Yeah, I remember pleading for you to rescue it. Something in me said don’t touch. Do you remember when you started the lawnmower in high school and that poor little toad had taken refuge under it and the blades spit him out?”

Mallory shot Elizabeth a look of pain. “That bee stung the crap out me and still died. I cried over that toad.” Elizabeth had grabbed her hand and reassured her it was not a callous comment. Mallory’s heart was soft, no matter how hard she tried to guard it. She wondered if Elizabeth was the same, if that’s why none of the sisters had seen a single tear from her yet. Would she take up her eldest child mantle and deliver the perfect eulogy?

It’s funny what you remember when discussing a childhood memory, Rebecca thought. She had managed to steal some time on the porch with her sisters the night before. Leigh and Autumn had entertained her children while John cornered Dan about a new business idea.

Of all the things they’d discussed was the year their father was sent to Vietnam. One of her memories was leaving Jacksonville Beach, Florida. Their parents decided it would be best to move them closer to Mom’s family. They’d been piled into the car including Pufnstuf, the family tabby. There was brief stop to say good-bye to friends met serving on the USS Yellowstone. Daddy had carried Rebecca to the car and placed her under one of the blankets. Then everyone snuggled into their favorite space in the station wagon for the ten-hour drive.

Forty-five minutes later, Rebecca had woken up and searched for her teddy bear, Freddie. In a panic, she started crying and asking for help to find Freddie. She hadn’t let the movers pack him. The idea of her teddy bear in a box and shoved into the Mayflower van was unbearable. Leaving him in the car by himself while her parents said good-bye to their friends was not negotiable. She propped the scruffy brown teddy bear on her hip and took him into the house. His yellow paw pads were dingy from all the washings. She’d given him a nice chair to sit in while she played with the other kids and ate dessert.

At the first chance, Daddy pulled into a gas station and they searched the car. Rebecca was sobbing heavily and it was fast becoming clear that Freddie was back in Florida. Without any complaint, her stepfather made a U-turn and headed back to get the teddy bear. Needless to say, the tattered bear was still sitting in the chair and they didn’t arrive at their new home on schedule.

To this day, Freddie still had his own place in Rebecca’s closet. Whenever she looked at that old bear she’d smile and think of her step-dad’s unconditional love, how, without complaint he’d healed her broken heart.

She looked out the hotel window down at the pool. John had the kids on the small dock throwing the bread from breakfast into the water. Why couldn’t he see her loss and soothe it like her dad? The weight of managing it all was still on her thin shoulders. She popped a pill to dull her pain.