The trial was never going to be a quiet affair. Extra police and security stood guard outside the building. Ella craned her neck. The large room, with brown timber panelling, was filling fast. The media section took up a major portion of the courtroom and reporters still jostled for space.
Her mother’s defence attorney and representatives sat ready. The prosecution lawyers made their way in, talking and comparing notes. Some spoke on their phones.
Ella sat in the public gallery only a couple of metres away from where her mother would soon sit. She knotted her fingers in her lap. She’d barely managed half an hour of sleep last night, so she was fighting fatigue and an ongoing stint of depression. It was no surprise she wasn’t at her best.
She’d gone to Lotusville after barging into her father’s office and had spent the entire time crying. Her tears had started before she’d arrived, so there was little her mother could do to console her. Her parting words to her father, the man she’d grown to despise, had more than shocked her, but they’d stemmed from years of childhood dreams. Plenty of scenarios had passed through her imagination over the years, including their fairytale reunion.
But not even that had gone as she’d wished.
Zane’s absence compounded the problem. God, she needed him almost as much as she needed to breathe. But she couldn’t bring herself to contact him. Every time she sat poised ready to call him, something held her back. Was she ashamed of how she’d behaved? Was it the lack of contact from him? Which hadn’t been his fault, she could admit that much, but it was so out of character. The Zane she knew and loved would’ve barged his way into her hotel room and demanded answers, given reasons and asked plenty of questions.
While she tossed and turned the previous night, she’d made a promise. When all this was over, regardless of what happened to her mother, she would force herself to eat humble pie and contact Zane. He deserved an apology, if nothing else.
There was no hiding how much she needed him. She hoped she hadn’t killed their relationship. If he’d moved on, her ensuing pain would be justifiable punishment. She deserved no less.
No one spoke about him. Not her mother, her brother or her sisters. It was as though he’d fallen off the face of the earth and nobody but she had noticed. She sighed and tried to smile when Albert turned around and whispered, “You okay?”
Ella shrugged. She wasn’t, but now wasn’t the time. In only minutes her mother would be brought in and her fate sealed. She had no idea how she’d react if it went badly. And she expected it to. So much for confidence in the justice system.
Ever since they’d learned Zane’s father had committed the murder, the notion that they didn’t have enough evidence to help their case lurked in the back of her mind. Regardless of how many years had passed since the court ruling had been imposed, it still stood, and her mother had broken it. Hers had been the desperate plight of a young mother utilising the only avenue she’d had to protect her child. Her father’s attorney would hammer home that she had lied and deprived him of the opportunity to be a parent to Ella.
Too bad that Ella could’ve been dead before her second birthday if her mother had stayed in Boston.
Luke had called this morning. He’d put his phone on speaker, and Victoria and Lily had also been in the room. Lily had said very little, but Ella had clearly heard her crying in the background. It was a grim reminder of the terrible mistakes she’d made. Would the guilt ever leave her?
Ella searched for her aunt and uncle, who had promised to come for support. To know they were there would help her cope when the time came—she would need a shoulder to cry on—but the room was filling swiftly. If they didn’t come soon, they would have no choice but to stand and wait on the street. Ella looked for a raised arm, or any hint in the throng of people, to signal their presence. When she glanced towards the far side of the room, her heart catapulted to one side of her chest and she gasped. Zane sat unsmiling beside his mother, with his gaze riveted on Ella.
Now frozen, Ella had no control over the slow trickle of tears sliding down her cheeks. There was little explanation for them, not counting the stresses of the past weeks. The guilt, depression, frustration, hopelessness, loneliness, the … the …
Shit. Who am I kidding?
She gripped the back of the chair and relaxed slightly. With superhuman effort, she twisted to face the front, wanting nothing more than to clamber over people and chairs, land in his lap and fling her arms around his neck.
She wanted to shout out to the world that he’d returned.
He hasn’t forgotten me. It took a split-second to make that startling revelation.
She cried happy tears and chuckled out loud, except the presiding judge entered the room and the crowd was made to hush.
Not far behind him, the jury appeared and were shown to their seats. It was only a minute more and her mother, flanked by security guards, made her entrance.
Ella wanted to cry again, but for a different reason. The jade green suit Ella had purchased for her mother hung loosely on her shoulders. She looked haggard under Ella’s scrutiny, but Ella had also organised a make-up artist and hair specialist, who she’d given strict instructions to bring her mother’s hair back to its natural colour. The great hairdo and make-up hid a lot. She looked beautiful in a wistful and sad way; the past six weeks hadn’t been kind. She’d been worried sick about Victoria’s treatment and fretful over Lily and Luke—she was always in a state of agitation whenever they spoke of home. From what Ella could see, parenting was a thankless task that never left you.
Ella wiped away any evidence of tears and forced her mouth to slide into a smile. She had every intention of feigning cheerfulness.
When her mother made to sit down, she spotted Ella. She kissed her hand and placed it against her heart. It was her way of showing Ella, no matter what happened, her love for her would never waver. She’d told her so, over and over, during the past weeks. But Ella’s heart had frozen over, and nothing seeped past the ice. She’d done her best to hold her emotions secure and had thought she’d succeeded until her confrontation with Thomas yesterday.
Her irresponsible actions still didn’t kill her guilt. Did Zane still feel it too? Was that why he’d come back to Boston? Had he been in contact with Luke, or had he read enough on social media to know the trial was about to begin?
Nothing could force her to look back over her shoulder. Too rigid to move, she remained facing the front. Now, they waited only for Thomas’s arrival for proceedings to begin.
Come on, you bastard. Where the hell are you?
Minutes ticked by until, finally, the presiding judge hushed the crowd with a strike of the gavel. At the prosecution’s desk, Ella sensed urgency. An attorney frantically tapped a message into his phone. Another left the room to take a call.
“Is the prosecution ready to proceed?” The judge sounded impatient. Immediately a request was made by the prosecution to allow them a further few minutes. They all left the room in a hurry.
Albert whispered something in her mother’s ear and turned to Ella. He shrugged, baffled like the rest of them.
After about five minutes had passed, the prosecution’s team re-entered the courtroom and the crowd was made to hush again.
“Your Honour, the prosecution wishes to withdraw all charges and cease any further proceedings.”
The whole room erupted.
“Quiet, please.” The judge used his gavel to make his annoyance heard and turned towards his associate to confer.
When the room quietened again, the judge proceeded to talk. “Are you aware this is inappropriate at this late stage and that I will be forced to charge all costs to the prosecution?”
The attorney nodded in agreement. “Mr Van Der Meeliko is aware of this and apologises for the inconvenience. He instructed me to advise that all costs pertaining to today will be covered, with an additional fee paid for the unwarranted time today’s proceedings incurred for you and your staff, Your Honour, as well as the jury.”
The judge’s shoulders drooped in acceptance. He looked disappointed, as though he’d been looking forward to presiding over this publicised case. He let the gavel fall towards his bench for the final time and turned towards the defence team.
“Catherine Van Der Meeliko, this is an unusual situation. I cannot compare these circumstances to any other case I’ve presided over in my long history as a judge. I will reprimand the prosecution and deal with them separately. This reluctance to proceed should’ve been dealt with long before the proceedings were due to begin today.” He paused, gathered his papers and placed them in a folder before looking up again. “It appears you are free to go home.”
The crowd behind Ella roared, and she joined in, stumbling from her chair and shoving those in front to reach her mother. Tears, lots of them, coursed down her face as she wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck.
Her mother’s shoulders shook and her tears mingled with her own. There was no way Ella was letting go of her in a hurry. She didn’t care if the media wanted to talk to them. They could wait.
It was Albert who prised her from her mother. “Ella, I need you to step back for a few moments.”
Without hesitating, she did so and turned to find Zane. The world fell out from under her—the spot where he’d sat was empty, though Tilly remained seated and dabbed at the tears coursing down her face. Ella looked around frantically, desperate to find him. She needed to apologise. Was anxious to tell him she loved him. Maybe he was on his way to her.
In a daze, she haphazardly dodged cameras, journalists, chairs and people. She had to find him. Nothing else mattered now that her mother was safe. She was puffing badly, like she’d run a full marathon, when she staggered the last metre. “Tilly, where is he?”
Tilly was on her feet and doing her own scouting. “I honestly don’t know. He was here one second, gone the next. He didn’t say anything.”
“What do you mean, gone?” she yelled over the noise.
“I don’t know where he went. I sent a message, but he hasn’t replied.” She lifted her phone to check again. “Oh, wait, he says he’ll explain later. Huh?”
This should’ve been the happiest moment of Ella’s life. Instead, a dark cloud appeared. Why would he disappear? Had he thought she’d only seek him out if her mother were freed? She got that he might’ve doubted her loyalty to him if the outcome had been different, but to disappear at such a crucial time?
Her legs buckled and she crumpled to the floor. This all seemed so unfair. She’d only been able to spread herself so far over the past few months. The anxious waiting had taken its toll.
Tilly was beside her in an instant, shouting for someone to lend a hand. Someone did, and Ella was made to sit up. Suddenly claustrophobic with the crowd around her, she struggled to breathe. Anger choked her senses. Why had he bothered coming all this way, only to leave when she really needed him?
Ella struggled for calm and made a Herculean attempt to control her breathing. She did her best to push the angry demons away and give Zane a chance to explain. She didn’t want the attributes she hated most about herself to show up today. She’d never been proud of her quick temper, stubbornness and lack of patience. But why, with all her chips falling, were they winning? Her body weakened as she tried vainly for patience. It was a losing battle and she knew it.
“Could someone call an ambulance, please?” she heard as blackness descended.