Ruby had always been a curious child. She often peeked at the English from beneath her lashes when they would pass by her buggy in their cars, talking on their cell phones. She wondered what it would be like to be free like those girls were. She knew the feeling of the sun on her face and arms, but what would it feel like on her legs? What would it be like to wear a shirt that even showed her stomach, as she had seen some of the girls from outside her community did during the summer? Or even more daringly, what about a bikini at the water’s edge? What if she could choose her own way in the world, without being limited by her community? It had always seemed so unfair that she would be so stifled in her pursuits and those English girls didn’t even seem to appreciate what they had in their freedom. They took it for granted, of that much she was sure.
The idea of Rumspringa had always been one that fascinated her. Older children of the community were given time, sometimes years to explore a life outside of her Amish faith and community. They were allowed the freedom that she had always craved. And then, to her utter shock, most of them made the choice to come back! She would always shake her head at these baptisms. She couldn’t understand why someone would choose a life of limitations and strict rules, when they were given the option to leave it all behind.
It was true that in leaving the community, a person would be leaving their family and friends and choosing an unfamiliar life, but that was the adventure she craved. Missing her parents wouldn’t be worth staying under the thumb of her community. She believed in God, of course, and she was as faithful as she was expected to be in her activities, but there was something always screaming in the back of her head that she wanted to experience more.
“Ruby, where are you, child?” Her father’s voice pulled her from her thoughts. She didn’t answer immediately, wanting just another moment of peace with her own thoughts. “Ruby?”
“Out here, Father,” she finally answered reluctantly. “I’m back with the babies.”
Ruby loved spending time with the calves after all of the milking was done. She found their innocence sweet and their affection refreshing. Her family members loved each other, but weres not physically affectionate. She craved that contact, even if she had to get it from the calves and horses that lived on their farm. It made her unusual to love the animals so much, rather than treating them as strictly instruments and tools, but she was used to the way that she was different and didn’t think that she could function any other way.
Her father rounded the corner with a stern look on his face. “They are calves, Ruby, not babies.” Her father couldn’t understand the way that she doted after what he saw as nothing more than working parts of the farm. “Why are you hiding back here when there is work to be done?”
“I wasn’t hiding, Father. I was doing the milking and then feeding the babies.”
“You aren’t arguing with me, are you, young lady?”
“No sir.” Ruby hung her head as she was scolded. She was beyond frustrated with the way she was always expected to behave according to her parents’ rules.
“Go on in and help your mother with the chores. She has been waiting for you for nearly an hour. It doesn’t take an hour to feed the calves.”
Ruby wanted to argue and rage, but she simply nodded and walked past her father toward the house. She saw him shake his head out of the corner of her eye, but only looked straight ahead to avoid his judgmental gaze. She told herself that she only needed to hold on for a couple more days until Rumspringa and then she would be free to experience life in her own way. After all, she was practically an adult now. A seventeen year old woman should not have to hang her head like a child simply because her father scolded her. She knew that not all of the families in her community were as strict as hers, but she had been dealt a certain hand, and she was ready to move on to a new game.
She lived in one of the few Amish communities in the area where the children were allowed to completely leave the community if they chose to. Many of her fellows stayed at home and simply lived with fewer rules, but there was always a handful that would choose to go outside, find a place to live and experience life as the English did. Ruby’s parents refused to allow her to completely leave their home, but they had no choice about allowing her to live without restrictions. It was the way that it had always been and it would be for her. She knew that many of the older generation, including her father, saw Rumspringa as a chance for young women like her to find a husband for when they chose to be baptized and remain with the Amish community, however, she wasn’t going to treat it that way. She played her part well and he didn’t know, but the second that she could, she was going to leave to stay with friends if she could, and she would not be returning, no matter how much her parents would insist. She smiled to herself as she walked toward the house. It was almost time for her to begin living her life the way she had wanted to since she was old enough to know the difference.
* * *
One of the expectations that her father had of Ruby was for her to be an active participant in the community. This meant that since she was old enough to do so, she had not only helped out with caring for her neighbors, but she also volunteered to be on committees and help with large-scale social events that were to be put on for the community by the community members. Currently she was a member of the committee that was organizing community-wide meals and social gatherings. She actually loved her role there, because she was able to share her ideas without fear of being reprimanded for doing so. Not all of her ideas were adopted, but at least she was able to use her voice. The events often fell on holidays or coincided with different harvests, so there was usually an event to plan at every biweekly meeting.
The current event that they had been working on was happening that very evening, so Ruby was expected to spend the entirety of the day in town setting up, helping with last minute details, and making sure that all was to going to run smoothly. It was such an exciting time for her that she found her mind wandering to wanting to do something like this when she finally joined the English community. “Party planning” is what she believed they called it. She was good at planning and it made her smile, which not a lot of things did these days.
This particular committee was actually rather large. There were several children just a couple of years younger than her that were willing to do just about anything that was asked of them. There were also four young adults, including Ruby, that were on the eve of embarking upon the Rumspringa phase of their lives. They had all been best friends since early childhood. And finally there were a handful of adults that participated. Ruby could never keep track of how many because they came and went with each meeting. She was never sure who would be at each meeting. It was a traditional set-up, as the adults mentored the young adults and the young adults mentored the children. It was the way of their community that the young learned from their elders, and it was no different in the case of the committees on which Ruby served.
This had been her favorite event to plan in a long time, because it was a combination of a celebration of an elder’s birthday and the marking of the harvest. Big parties like that always took a great deal of work, but they kept her busy and were always a fun time during the event itself. It was also significant because it was the last event that she would be planning before she started her journey away from the community. So even though no one else around her knew it, she was treating the dinner ad celebration as her farewell to the constraints of her Amish life.
She arrived at the community hall late morning and started right in on the work that needed to be done. Decorations were often overlooked as being important, but she very much wanted to dress up the hall, so she had taken it upon herself to be in charge of the decorations. She recruited the other participants of her age and they spent weeks gathering all that they would need. Now that the event was that evening, they were working hard executing the plans that they had come up with during the planning phase. The plan was to work through the lunch hour to make sure that the hall would be ready for that evening.
As the clock struck twelve o’clock, Ruby was making her way down to where her three best friends, Annabelle, Phillip and Donna, were stringing up the lanterns that they would be using to light up the dinner in the hall basement in just a couple of hours. The rest of the tasks were complete, and she breathed out a sigh, knowing that all they had left to do was to finish the hall decorations. That would only take another hour or so, and they would be ready well ahead of when the older folks would arrive to begin the cooking of the food that they would all have for dinner that evening.
As she came near to rounding the corner into the hall, she heard excited voices.
“Annabelle, don’t be nervous, it is going to be so much fun!” Phillip said with a chuckle.
“But it’s going to be so different,” Annabelle answered quietly.
“That’s the point, Annie,” Donna answered. “Think about it. Living amongst the English is going to give us a chance to live another life before we decide if we’re going to settle down here.”
Ruby froze before entering the hall. They were speaking of Rumspringa. She listened intently as the conversation continued.
“I know, but I’m just thinking that maybe I should stay here and visit you.” Annabelle’s voice was tentative. Their friend Donna was a force of nature, and Annabelle trying to pull out of any plan would not be met by her happily.
“Listen, the fact that our parents have agreed to allow us to live outside the community at all is a miracle, especially considering mine think that Rumspringa should be all about finding the man that I am planning to marry. We aren’t going to be far from the community, and you know that Phillip’s cousin will have a car for us to drive.”
“Oh my,” Annabelle groaned, “I forgot about the car.” This was met by a hearty laugh by both Phillip and Donna. They all knew that Annabelle was the worrier of the group and sometimes her reactions were met with frustration, but more often than not, they were a source of amusement.
“Listen,” Phillip said calmly, “why don’t you come with us and try it. If you don’t like it you can come back. You at least have to try staying at the apartment for a few weeks before you decide.”
Ruby couldn’t believe her ears. Her friends were all going to be leaving the community and living together in an apartment. It was astounding. Why didn’t she know anything about this? She felt a surge of envy, followed by anger. Why hadn’t they included her in their plans? With her face burning, she rounded the corner and stalked toward her friends.
“Hey Ruby,” Phillip said cautiously, “something wrong with the lanterns?”
She looked up and around her for the first time since entering the room, and her anger faded just a little. “No. Actually they look amazing,” she said. “I’m just wondering why you guys never told me about your plans to leave me here all alone, while you’re off living in some English apartment.”
The three exchanged glances. Obviously they knew that this would be her reaction. The four of them had been best friends since they were barely walking.
“We would have mentioned it sooner, Ruby, but we knew how your parents feel about it.” Phillip was obviously pained. “If it were up to me you would come along, but of course it isn’t. Some of the elders were speaking with all of our parents, and yours were the only ones that stated there would be no chance that they would allow you to choose to leave the community. All the rest said that they would leave it up to us, but yours said that they knew what was best for you, and that they would be making the decision. They said that they couldn’t stop you from living outside of Amish rules, but that they could at least shelter you from what you would find living outside of the community.”
“It’s sort of sweet in a twisted, controlling way,” Donna added.
“Donna, that is not helping,” Annabelle said gently.
Suddenly the anger left her like air from a balloon. She let out a huff and slumped into a nearby chair. “I can absolutely believe that they said all that. This is terrible. All I’ve wanted forever is to get out of here, but at least I have always had you guys. Now not only am I going to be stuck here, but you guys are going to be leaving me too.” She felt her eyes burning with tears of frustration.
“Look,” Phillip said, grabbing her hands and pulling her to her feet, “we will be at my cousin’s place. He says there is plenty of room. You have to come and stay with us whenever you can get away. I know for a fact that your parents agreed with letting you visit us over certain weeks and weekends.” He smiled and squeezed her hands again. Their eyes held for a moment and she felt her insides melt a bit at the intensity of his gaze. “Come on Ruby, smile for us. Look at what an outstanding job I did on these lanterns, all by myself.”
“Umm, hardly by yourself, Phillip,” Donna answered forcefully.
Ruby couldn’t help but laugh at the incredulity on Donna’s face. For years Phillip had always known how to get a rise out of his three best friends, and he often did so to cheer up another that might have been having a tough time. It worked every single time for Ruby. She couldn’t deny that having her friends’ support was a huge part of what made her life in the community at least bearable, if not enjoyable.
“It isn’t ideal, Ruby, but it’s better than nothing,” Annabelle said once Ruby’s laughter had died down. “You might even be happier,” she added.
“No, you would be happier. I heard the conversation you were having before I came in. You don’t even want to go.” She couldn’t keep the bitterness out of her tone. “How ironic is it then that I want to go and can’t, when you can go but won’t?”
“I know, Ruby, I’m sorry.” Annabelle did sound genuinely upset by Ruby’s words.
“It’s not your fault, Annie,” Ruby said on a sigh. “I shouldn’t blame you. I’m just so restless here.”
“Well,” Phillips said grandly, “then let’s enjoy tonight’s party and get prepared, because tomorrow everything changes for us, no matter where we lay our heads to sleep!”
* * *
Phillip’s words on that last night before their Rumspringa turned out to be quite prophetic. When Donna, Phillip and Annabelle left to claim their spots in Phillip’s cousin’s apartment, Ruby was left behind living much the same way that she had been living up until that time. There were some subtle differences where she was not held to the same rigorous expectations as before, but the scenery had remained very much the same. The breathing room that she had gained had not yet given her what she wanted, a chance to escape her confines. That was going to be coming today. She was packing her bags to head into the English world to spend a whole week with her friends. No rules, no expectations, no one looking over her shoulder and judge her motives for every move that she made.
Ruby felt practically giddy as she finished packing her items. She was going to be meeting her friends on the edge of town and riding in a car. A car, of all things! This would be a weekend of firsts; she knew that to be true. She wanted to catch up with her friends and find out how life had been treating them over the past two months. And she wanted to finally find that freedom that she was so craving. She wanted to not just breathe, but gulp free air.
Her parents had said good-bye to her earlier that day, which made the task of preparing to go that much simpler. She had listened that morning, for longer than she cared remember, to both of them giving her warnings about the dangers and sins out in the English world. She had heard all about how her friends could possibly now be tainted and how she must not trust anyone outside of the community. On and on it had gone. When they finally left for the day, she had rushed in and started packing right away. She didn’t want to take the chance that they would come back and start it again.
She gathered her things and made her way to the edge of town and the agreed upon meeting point. Her heart was beating a mile a minute, not because of the physical exertion of walking, but from fear. She was afraid that someone would try to stop her leaving, because in fact, she had absolutely no intention of returning home. She had told her parents that this trip would be no more than a week, but really, once she reached freedom, she would not be returning. They would all have to deal with the fact that this would be the end of her time in the community. She was moving on, starting today.
Just as she smiled to herself with that thought, she heard a rhythmic screeching sound growing louder and louder. She put her bags on the ground and looked down the road. To her astonishment she saw that the sound was coming from an approaching car. The paint was a dull black color, as if they sun and years of use had faded the bright sheen she had often seen on the cars of the English when they were out on the road. There were large rust patch near the rear wheel on her side. There were a smattering of different size dents and scratches on the body of the car. And one window had a large sheet of plastic taped over it, as if the glass must be missing. And just as the car reached her, it stopped. She held her breath as out climbed Phillip. This must have been his cousin’s car. His bright smile made her insides warm, but then a sinking feeling crept into the pit of her stomach as they greeted each other. This was not what she had expected, and she was just praying that the rest of what she would encounter would be less shockingly disappointing.
She smiled in spite of her doubts and climbed into the very first car that she had ever ridden in. “Phillip, this is quite an automobile,” she said pleasantly, trying to feel out how he felt about the situation.
“It’s a piece of junk. It’s on its last leg. My cousin had to sell his old car that I thought he had because he needed money. He bought this one for what he could afford. I told him that he overpaid.” Phillip laughed jovially and placed his hand on her knee in an affectionate way. It seemed that he was taking the car situation in stride, so she would try to do the same. After all, she had lived her whole life without a car, she could do it still.
“It would seem so.” She laughed along with him, but still had trouble shaking the feeling that things were not going to be how she had been hoping.
However, when they arrived at their destination, she found herself cautiously optimistic. They parked in a lot next to a building that seemed to have multiple entrances.
“We are up on the third floor. We climb those outside stairs and then we enter up there under that small roof.”
Ruby looked up and squinted against the sun to see the door to which Phillip had been referring. It was at the top of three very long flights of old wooden steps. “Are those stairs safe?”
“Oh sure,” he said. “We go up and down all the time. They’re sturdier than they look. ” But then on an afterthought he added, “But please do hold onto the railing.”
They ascended the stairs together with her bags, and by the time they got to the top, Ruby was slightly dizzy from the exertion and the height. They entered together and stepped inside. Ruby stood for a moment allowing her eyes to adjust to the relative darkness inside. The shades were drawn against the sun and there was a television set flickering against the darkness. The room was sparsely furnished with a couch, a number of large cushions that seemed to act as floor cushions, the television on a brown bookshelf, and a number of boxes stacked in the corner. It appeared clean though, and smelled as if someone had recently used a lemon-scented soap.
A young man dressed in English clothing, a couple of years older than them, sat on a worn brown couch staring at the TV and eating something crunchy from a bag. When he saw her, she smiled and stood, brushing his hand off on his blue jeans. “You must be Ruby. Welcome to chaos.” He let out a hearty laugh and pointed at Phillip. “I’m this guy’s cousin, Robert, though no one else in the family admits that I even exist.” He laughed again.
Phillip shook his head at Robert’s words. “Well, if it bothers you, you could always come back and apologize for your misguided decisions.” His tone was light and teasing, but hinted at their shared history, which was likely unpleasant if he was no longer talking to any of the family.
“Not in a million years, cousin. I got out and I’m not interested in going back.” There was something dark lingering below the jovial exterior that Robert put out. It seemed to Ruby that he was bitter. Being excommunicated for making a choice that you are within your rights to make was an unfair reality that they would all be facing. But, in her opinion it was easier than spending the rest of your life explaining yourself. She suddenly wondered what it was going to feel like when her parents no longer spoke to her. Would she miss them? Would it be scary? No, this was something that she had wanted for too long to just give in to doubts and fears now!
As the men told her about where she would be sleeping and how the arrangements would work for rent and other logistical matters, a beautiful woman with long, jean-clad legs strode down the hall. She wore a white sweater that hugged her curvaceous figure. Her hair was brown and wavy as it fell loosely around her smiling face and bright eyes. It took Ruby a moment to realize who she was looking at. When she did, a jolt of surprised rushed through her. “Annabelle?!”
“Hey, Ruby!” Annabelle’s smile was wide and her eyes were sparkling. Ruby had never seen her friend to happy.
“You look so different,” was all that Ruby managed to get out.
“She looks incredible,” said Robert, as he reached for Annabelle’s hip and pulled her to him. She let out a throaty chuckle and leaned into him. The moment was so intimate Ruby had to fight to not look away.
“Annabelle has taken to the English lifestyle more quickly than we have,” said a teasing voice from the hallway. Donna entered the room in her Amish dress, her brown hair falling loosely around her face.
Ruby looked at her friend. Her hair was beautiful, but her face was not as happy as Annabelle’s. And she was surprised to see that Donna was the one not fully embracing the lifestyle available to them.
“Well, now that you’re here, I am going to head out to work.”
Ruby whipped her head around. “Work?!”
“Yep, he said with a grin, any of us that are staying here longer than two weeks are expected to get jobs to help pay the rent and part of the food bill. “I’m doing some yard work for some of the families in the neighborhood. No worries, Ruby, we’ll get you all settled in before you need to go to work.” He laughed and waved them off as he walked out the front door.
Annabelle and Robert were now seated, limbs entwined on that couch, completely ignoring the television and the other two human beings in the room. “Come on, Ruby, let’s get you settled. You and I will be sharing a room.”
As they walked down the hall together, she saw that it was a three bedroom apartment. “Where does Annabelle sleep if Robert and Phillip both have a room?”
“She stays with Robert.” Donna kept walking, pretending to ignore the impact that her words had made.
“Oh,” was all that Ruby could think to say. She was shocked. She wanted freedom, but this went against everything that they had been taught their whole lives. And for Annabelle to be the one to go down that road, it was as unexpected as the piece-of-junk car that Phillip had pulled up in. Ruby always thought that she would be the one to test the limits, and it was humbling to realize that her boundaries were not as pliable as she had once believed.
“In here,” said Donna with a small shake of her head. “Ruby you’re going to need to get used to all of this pretty quickly if you plan on having any fun here.”
“Oh, right, I know,” she said with bravado that she didn’t really feel. “So how in the world did that happen? You all only left a handful of weeks ago and she was as timid as a kitten when she left.”
“You wouldn’t believe it, Ruby. The first few days we were here she kept to herself and sort of just took everything in with wide eyes. We talked about needing to find jobs and what it would be like to meet new people. Robert had been through all of this only a couple of years ago. When he decided to leave the community, his family cut him off and he had to learn how to live all on his own. He was giving us great advice and helping us get acclimated. Then one day he said that he was going to bring us to a party, and out of nowhere, Annabelle said she wanted to dress like him, like a ‘regular’ person. I don’t know where that came from. It was mean and Annabelle has never been mean. She’d been out looking for work and I wonder if someone had said something to her. But, anyway, Robert was happy to indulge her and found out that under her dress she is what he calls a ‘knock-out.’ It happened that night between the two of them and they have been inseparable ever since. She’s changed so much so quickly.”
“Well, what does her family think?”
“That’s the craziest part, Ruby. She told her family that she won’t be baptized into the community and will not be returning. She’s renounced everything and is staying with Robert!”
Ruby couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Annabelle was always the one that had assumed that her time away would be a chance to see a little of the world before she fully embraced her fate and her role in the Amish community. The fact that there was no whisper of that innocent girl in the woman outside the door scared Ruby more than she cared to admit.
“What did they do to her?” she said without thinking.
Donna’s look was dark as she wound her hair tightly into a bun under her own bonnet. “I don’t know Ruby, but I don’t want it to happen to me. This is going to be my last weekend here. I’m going to go home. I just wanted to wait for you, but I can’t stay here. It is too crazy here. I don’t want any of this.
Ruby was thrown for yet another loop. Donna had always been so strong, fearlessly adjusting to what was happening in her life. This was not the same girl that had left her only weeks ago.
“Donna, what happened?” She stepped into Donna’s space and forced eye contact. “Where is my fearless, happy-go-lucky friend?”
“I just don’t like it here, Ruby. I don’t understand the way the people are. Everything is much faster and harder. Our lives at home aren’t easy all the time, but at least I understand my role and my place. I’m going to be leaving and heading home Monday morning. I’m ready to commit to a baptism and a life there.”
“Donna, that’s too fast. You know we can take all the time we want. Are you sure this isn’t just a rough adjustment?”
Donna’s face was suddenly angry. “Just because you hate how we were brought up doesn’t mean that I have to. I don’t like it here. The men are different. The women are different. The expectations are way different. I just want to go home.” Her eyes were welling with tears.
Ruby threw her arms around her friend and rubbed her back. “Okay. I’m sorry.” She could count on one hand the number of time she had seen her friend cry. Suddenly she didn’t care about finding out what had happened, she just wanted her friend to be happy, and that meant she would be leaving the day after tomorrow.
Suddenly there was a loud pounding from the living room. It sounded as if someone was banging down the front door. The pounding stopped and a raised voice carried down the hallway to the women.
“You have until Monday, Robert. That’s it!”
“Can’t I just have until the end of the month?” Robert’s voice sounded desperate as he answered at a lower volume.
“No. I’ve giving you enough extensions. I know you have your freaky Amish friends in and out of here all the time. If you can’t afford the rent, get a smaller place and stop bringing in all these weird ass roommates that only last weeks or months at a time.”
“What about Friday?”
“Wednesday. No later. I mean it, Robert. Forget legal action. I’ll have your crap thrown out onto the sidewalk!” There was a loud slamming of the door and then a murmur of voices as Annabelle and Robert spoke words the women could not hear.
They sat quietly for a moment and then looked up when Annabelle poked her head around the door. Clean up, girls, we’re meeting Phillip at work and heading to a party.
* * *
They arrived at a house party right down the street from Robert’s building long after the sun had set. Annabelle and Robert led the way. Ruby followed and Robert stayed protectively behind her. Donna had decided to stay home, saying that she wasn’t feeling up to going anywhere. There was a rhythmic base sound shaking the building and strobe lights flashes through the downstairs windows. Cups littered the front lawn and couples were wrapped around each other in a ways that were considered indecent back home. Sure, they had their own strange courtship rituals, but nothing as open as this.
Ruby had opted to borrow some of Annabelle’s English clothing to get the full effect of the evening, but she had left her bonnet on, unable to part with everything about home. She had grabbed the loosest jeans and most discrete top that Annabelle owned, but her curves were still more on display than she had ever experienced. She was amazed that just a couple of months ago she had longed to wear a bikini in public.
Annabelle and Robert immediately headed off into the kitchen to meet-up with some of his friends. Robert was speaking to a group of men that he must have met since moving to the apartment because she didn’t recognize any of them as being Amish. And she was left to wonder alone, exploring the party.
Ruby knew that she was considered attractive enough in her community. Her features were delicate, but her body and will were strong. She was curvaceous in a healthy way, and she wore her Amish clothing well. While she had seen men looking at her subtly, she had never experienced the kind of attention that found her that evening. Men were outright touching her, making sexual comments toward her.
One man came up to her and stood blocking her path. “Excuse me,” she said, as forcefully as possible through the growing panic. She had never seen anyone behave so aggressively toward a woman before.
He didn’t move. “So, you’re one of those Amish chicks, huh?” He said. Some friends around them laughed.
“Please move out of my way.”
“Hey now, that’s no way to be polite. Maybe they don’t teach you that on your freak farms in God’s country, baby. But here,” her reached out and grabbed a hold of her chin, “we answer direct questions.”
“Yes, I’m Amish. Now, please let me through.”
“You know what I’ve heard about Amish girls? I hear they like to party and give absolutely excellent ... oof.” The man had stopped mid comment and let out of puff of air as someone grabbed him and threw him into the table behind him.
Phillip stood between the man and Ruby, breathing hard. “She asked you to move, asshole,” he growled angrily. “You do not touch her, ever!”
“Screw you, freak. She’s ripe and I just wanted a piece.” With that, Phillip hauled back and punched the man so hard his head bounced off the table.
“Come on, Ruby. We’re leaving now.” Phillip was so forceful. She’d never seen him behave like that before. He grabbed her hand and started walking her toward the door.
“What about Annabelle?”
“She’s with Robert. She’s fine. Besides, she likes these insane parties.”
He was practically dragging her with him. As they got further from the noise of the house she pulled hard against him and forced him to stop. “Why are you so angry, Phillip?”
“Are you kidding me, Ruby?” He was yelling at her now. “He was touching you. He was trying to take advantage of you. And if you hadn’t let him, he was going to hurt you. Didn’t you see what was happening there?”
“Of course I did, but if I’m going to live here, I’m going to have to get used to it, right?”
“No way. You are not going to have to get used to it. Even here that behavior is not okay.” He started pacing around. “See, this is what scares me so much about you being here. You don’t think.”
“Excuse me? I do so think.”
“No you don’t. You have some singular goal to escape home, and you’ll walk into anything to reach that goal, even a crap life like this. Why do you need to leave us to be happy? Why do you need to leave me?”
She was suddenly speechless.
“Ruby, you have to know how much your leaving would hurt me. Don’t you even realize what you are to me, to all of us? Annabelle is lost to us, seduced by what she sees as a glamorous lifestyle, but you’re too smart for that.”
“Phillip, I really don’t understand why you’re so upset. You’ve known I wanted to live out from under my parents thumb for years.”
“There are other ways of doing that, Ruby! You don’t have to run away.”
“Oh yeah? Name one!”
And before she knew what was happening, he lunged forward and kissed her. At first it was desperate, but then it turned soft. She felt fire blaze through every inch of her body as he wrapped his arms around her when she went weak at the knees. He pulled away and looked at her. “That’s my suggestion. Come home with me. Be with me. Ruby, I need you. I only came here so that I could be here for you when you tried to escape. Don’t think, my stubborn girl, that I didn’t know that you had no plans of returning home after this week.”
“But you never said anything, Phillip.” She felt muddled.
“I wanted you to realize on your own. But my time ran out. You were running. I can’t let you go, Ruby. Do you really want to live out here, alone, scraping by like Robert? He doesn’t have freedom. He is a slave to work and toil to keep a meager lifestyle because he doesn’t have any friends to help him. Maybe Annabelle will turn it around for him. I don’t know. But we don’t have to share his fate. Come home with me. We can find freedom there, together.”
Ruby looked into the passionate eyes of her friend that she had always loved and felt an attraction that she hadn’t expected. She saw a future in his eyes, and it was one that included a life of faith with her family. Could it really work, though? She took a deep breath and decided that she really just needed to go with her gut. Nothing that she had seen since she arrived had been more attractive to her than the promise of what she and Phillip could have.
“Well, then, let’s go home and tell Donna that we all leave together to go home on Monday morning,” she said with a smile.
He wrapped his arms around her and held her for a long moment. “You won’t regret this, darling.”
She sighed as she melted into him. “I know I won’t.”